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| Hey guys I need help on being needy/insecure? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=143624 |
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| Author: | Verite [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | Hey guys I need help on being needy/insecure? |
I've had been dealing with this my entire life. Whenever I like someone i tend to start acting very needy/insecure. Awaiting their every text and so on so forth. Although I have improved. I must improve more.. and faster... I hate being like this guys. It's such a horrible feeling being powerless by your own hand. If their is anyway you guys could help me out.. I will be forever in your debt. |
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| Author: | Snarg [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:28 am ] |
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There's nothing anyone can say that will solve your problems instantly. You said you're improving, so keep at it. Just remember to stop focusing on the outcome of what you do and instead focus on the process itself. Who cares if she stops texting you? Who cares if she rejects your invitation for dinner? It doesn't matter in the end. The fact is, you're going to get laid at some point, you're going to get married at some point, and it's all going to be done with someone who is (hopefully) perfect for you no matter how much you think you'll fuck up along the way. Look at everything as a learning experience and welcome your failures just as much as your successes. |
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| Author: | PlayHer Man [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:45 am ] |
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The best way to overcome your problem is to become very BUSY. You simply have to get involved in so many things that you don't have TIME to sit around waiting for a girl to text or call you back. You should also spread your attention out with girls and not just focus on one: http://romancecheater.com/the-importanc ... bers-game/ Never put all your eggs in one basket and always have lots of eggs so you'll never worry too much about any ONE egg. Simple as that! |
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| Author: | charblad [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
The thing that cured my fast text replies- I would text two women at once, and only reply to one when the other one replied to me Using a womans tactics on another woman, worked well for me |
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| Author: | Verite [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: The thing that cured my fast text replies- I normally do that but I'm currently in a "drought" and don't have many viable options at the moment. And it made me realize.. Is this really a solution? Or am I just suppressing the actual problem.
I would text two women at once, and only reply to one when the other one replied to me Using a womans tactics on another woman, worked well for me |
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| Author: | Verite [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: The best way to overcome your problem is to become very BUSY. You simply have to get involved in so many things that you don't have TIME to sit around waiting for a girl to text or call you back. The article seems to show the value of social proof lol. Great read. That's actually a great idea. I normally do this on some level but do not have the sufficient currency.. If I ever get in a serious relationship I wonder what the hell is gonna happen to me.. I know I shouldn't use this tactic then. But what else am I suppose to do?
You should also spread your attention out with girls and not just focus on one: http://romancecheater.com/the-importanc ... bers-game/ Never put all your eggs in one basket and always have lots of eggs so you'll never worry too much about any ONE egg. Simple as that! |
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| Author: | Verite [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: There's nothing anyone can say that will solve your problems instantly. You said you're improving, so keep at it. Just remember to stop focusing on the outcome of what you do and instead focus on the process itself. Who cares if she stops texting you? Who cares if she rejects your invitation for dinner? It doesn't matter in the end. The fact is, you're going to get laid at some point, you're going to get married at some point, and it's all going to be done with someone who is (hopefully) perfect for you no matter how much you think you'll fuck up along the way. Look at everything as a learning experience and welcome your failures just as much as your successes. Your right... Your right.. I just want to be done with this chapter of my life already...
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| Author: | vcwriter [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Think about "need". What's the difference between wanting something, to wanting it so badly that it becomes a need? A lot of it has to do with scarcity. A man who has a lot of women in his life will never ever "need" anything from a woman. He'll always be interested in meeting new women, and be open to something romantic/sexual. But he never chases to hard. He never panics under pressure. Why would he? He doesn't need to make anything happen with this girl. Tomorrow he'll meet someone else. Compare that to someone who feels like love is a once in a lifetime event. Someone who believes that quality women are so rare that even finding one is a high pressure event. Someone who believes that a woman showing interest in them is so rare that they can't afford to make any mistakes, or else they'll be lonely for another 2 years. That's where extreme neediness come from. Everyone has been needy at one point or another, to some varying degree. You can stop being needy just by changing your mentality. Stop thinking of your dating life in terms of scarcity, and start thinking in terms of abundance. Even if there IS no abundance in your life, you can at least pretend. Next time you're texting a girl, for example... before you ask "am I texting her too much or not enough?", think to yourself "what if I had other women in my life?" Someone with other women in his life will still ask a girl out. But he won't bend over backwards when she says "I'm busy that night." He knows that he's busy too: he's going to hit a club with his friends on Saturday to meet more girls, and that he has a date Sunday night with a girl that he hit it off with. So his answer will be "ah, that sucks. Well have fun. Talk next week." The guy who has no other women in his life will get clingy. "Why are you busy? What are you doing? When are you free next? Okay! I'll talk to you next week!" And next week, he can't even have one conversation with her without saying "so when are you free?" Being non-needy means not chasing too hard. That might even mean letting shit go sometimes. It's a good habit to develop. And maybe you have to pretend that there's a reason why you can't ask her out for 'any night this weekend'. But then you realize, if you're going to pretend to be busy for half the weekend, you may as well actually be busy, and go out and meet other girls. |
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