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Too much of a flirt?
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Author:  smashthecrash [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 11:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Too much of a flirt?

There's a specific situation, but this is more of a general question, because I can see it coming up in the future with other women. Let's say you have a girl you are seeing/dating. Sexually involved, but not exclusive. What do you do when you're in a group setting with her, and she gives more attention to one of your friends? I'd like to quote something I read from "20 reasons you don't have a boyfriend" (from hookingupsmart.com):

"4. You flirt too much. Flirting is an essential skill in any woman’s toolkit. It is meant to indicate to a guy that you are singling him out for special attention because you are attracted to him. If you flirt like crazy with every Y chromosome you encounter, it loses its effectiveness, and makes you seem “not very choosy.” Also, if you are spending time with a guy but can’t stand the idea of hiding your light under a bushel, he is not going to appreciate your flirting with other men. It makes him look and feel less manly, and awakens unwelcome feelings of jealousy."

It's difficult to hide/ignore those feelings of jealousy. Do you just next her? Do you "punish the bad behavior"? What does it mean when a woman does this? To me, it seems like she's already got my interest, now she wants more guys interested in her... makes me feel like a chump. I think the best thing to do is probably pretend it doesn't bother you and do the same thing right back, but how do I stick up for myself without looking needy or insecure?

With this girl in particular, I know her previous LTR ended because of this behavior. I know I wouldn't be comfortable with my girlfriend all over other guys, especially in front of me. My logical mind says this is an insecure little girl with low self esteem, that needs to validate it by having as many attractive men fall for her as possible, then rejecting them if they want sex or a relationship.

Author:  Speedy65 [ Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Too much of a flirt?

Well I don;t have an answer for you but I can share an ongoing experience with my current.

She has an admirer. They are friends, and when she goes out clubbing with her girls, he is there with his mates. How not to act jealous? Well, for a fact, shes pretty insecure and seeks validation A LOT. This allows me to dodge the AFC bullet pretty easily. Hell, today she mentioned to him she wanted an Xbox 360, he was ready to go buy one for her. LMAOOO. You know what know? These dude is the biggest AFC I know. He honestly makes me laugh! Because I'm sure showering my girl with a 360 will get her to love him. Oh brother.

But wanna know the tricky part to all this? She is becoming upset because I am not showing signs of jealousy because she now thinks I take her for granted! Fucked up eh? It's like impossible to win with women. It's just one long shit test after another.

Keep your chin up and be smart!

Author:  smashthecrash [ Wed Aug 15, 2012 5:28 am ]
Post subject: 

I had a similar situation with an ex of mine. When I was overseas, she asked to stay with a friend of ours - guy was also an admirer, and definitely in the friendzone, so I agreed. One night while drinking he tried to kiss her, and I didn't show any signs of jealousy... and she got upset at me about it! I told her I wasn't upset because I knew he had no chance.

Of course, the next guy who tried to kiss her... totally different story.

I asked one of my (24 y/o) female friends this question earlier, she's in a PXR (pre-exclusive relationship - is that an accepted acronym?) and she said if her guy was all over some other girl in front of her she would just leave. I know when I was in that situation I wanted to leave. But of course, I come here to find out what an aspiring PUA would do. The girl in my situation told me afterwards she was sorry if her behavior upset me, and that I knew she "liked him a little". The tides were turned on me before, and I was all over some other girl in front of my PXR / fwb, and got told to go fuck myself. Guess she wasn't over me like she said... I still felt pretty bad though.

Thanks for the post Speedy. Women really are impossible sometimes.

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