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Have a situation! How to recover?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=142910		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  J0N0 [ Sat Aug 11, 2012 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Have a situation! How to recover?
Gamed this young HB9, we'd set up a date a fortnight ago for tonight however, it didn't happen. Mainly because there was no contact since last wednesday. I believe she was just waiting for me to contact her, because she always made the first move conversation wise. And during the period of no conversation i guess i just kinda presumed if i had reminded her, she'd have made an excuse. However, she just made a status on FB.....i believe it was an inside pun aimed at me, and felt let down.

'Crying to Dobbie dying on Harry Potter, what have my saturday nights come to?'

Almost 10 minutes later, after say 9 days of no contact, she mailed me.

'Hmm, what happened to my date?!'

Now i understand this is a huge mistake on my part, and was never 100% sure she wanted to go, even though all the signs were there. Which is why i let it sort of pass....

Now, i don't want to reply and sound all AFC by apologising. The positive is, she sounds definitely into me. Now, if anything, how would you respond to said mail i received?

J.
Author:  J0N0 [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 1:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, i apoligised in the end. Here's how the conversation went. I probably could have handled or worder it better. But anyway...

HB - 'Hmmm.. What happened to my date?!'

Me - 'Alright, i realise i've made a cockup here. It did cross my mind but i just presumed you'd have made up some excuse if i'd reminded you about it, so i left it. If it stopped you doing something with your mates tonight then i apologise :) '

HB - 'No I don't want your apology...haha joking, it's fine :) '

Me - 'Did i tell you i was taking you out when i got back like?'

HB - 'You said the 11th I was joking about the date part'

Me - 'Was right then wasn't i :) '

Me - 'Actually, missread that part. Besides, you'd have only wanted to impress me by showing off your thighs. Save it for next time! I'll text you.'

She hasn't yet replied, probably because i left it and told her i'd text her. Not entirely sure where to go from here? When she say's she was joking, she was being sarcastic with the 'what happened to my date' etc.
Author:  Snarg [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 2:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
It sounds to me like you're overthinking the whole PUA thing. You didn't want to apologize because you'd sound like an AFC? You fucked up and ditched her; an apology was most definitely owed. The way you explained yourself was what made you sound like an AFC. And that whole thighs comment...that was random as hell. No wonder she didn't respond.

My advice is to chock this up as a learning experience and move on. You're spiraling into a loop of weirdness toward her and the more you try to get out of it, the worse the situation will become. She probably thinks you're pretty damn strange right now. At the very most, wait for her to contact you again and hope she somehow forgets about this.
Author:  J0N0 [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 2:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Cheers, i realise i made a mistake here. The thighs comment was a humorous thing we had going on. Came across as AFC, couldn't think of anything else. Idiotic!
Author:  Entourages [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 3:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well fuck sakes you got yourself in a situation, you need to be more on your feet for this shit...

Date - You should have called her say, 5 hrs before the said date, whats up thunder thighs... haha im kidding ur sexy ur not fat, but we have a thigh joke going on so... (good attempt at callback humour I guess on ur part?) So tonight im gonna rock ur pants off, but you can have sex with me lets get that clear, i am not that easy, I have a 3 date rule, I will scream (hahah playfulness, isnt this fun) So whendo you want to meet, --- this is when you plan how your meeting, if ur picking her up, if ur getting ur mom to drive u what ever ---

You fucked up and ditched her, shit happens, truth is you should have said... FUCK! I completely forgot, my friend had this amazing party, he was trying to recreate the project x movie, it was sick, i completely feel like a douche, I owe you a free ice cream, vanilla or chocolate. (say vanilla or chocolate so she has to choose one or shell say what ever flavor she likes, and u just created a date rather than asking ooo fuck im sorry ill make it up next week hows friday -- a yes or no scenario -- )

When she says the flavor be like perfect, 1 hr meet at DQ we having some fucking sundaes. but yea thats what I would have done.
Author:  J0N0 [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 3:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well fuck sakes you got yourself in a situation, you need to be more on your feet for this shit...

Date - You should have called her say, 5 hrs before the said date, whats up thunder thighs... haha im kidding ur sexy ur not fat, but we have a thigh joke going on so... (good attempt at callback humour I guess on ur part?) So tonight im gonna rock ur pants off, but you can have sex with me lets get that clear, i am not that easy, I have a 3 date rule, I will scream (hahah playfulness, isnt this fun) So whendo you want to meet, --- this is when you plan how your meeting, if ur picking her up, if ur getting ur mom to drive u what ever ---

You fucked up and ditched her, shit happens, truth is you should have said... FUCK! I completely forgot, my friend had this amazing party, he was trying to recreate the project x movie, it was sick, i completely feel like a douche, I owe you a free ice cream, vanilla or chocolate. (say vanilla or chocolate so she has to choose one or shell say what ever flavor she likes, and u just created a date rather than asking ooo fuck im sorry ill make it up next week hows friday -- a yes or no scenario -- )

When she says the flavor be like perfect, 1 hr meet at DQ we having some fucking sundaes. but yea thats what I would have done.
Cheers man! I realise i made a mistake but all may not be lost. She's 17, and i'm 20. I'm not going to 'ask' her on another, but maybe like first time and just told her i was taking her out. Which she got all excited about. If you were in said situation, how would you recover? I realise i need to let this cool off for a few weeks. I gamed her pretty well and she was just all over me. Looking back to that conversation i realise how pathetic and AFC it sounds.
Author:  Entourages [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 3:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
First off ur 3 years older than her, she is still in HS u are the kid in college who gives a shit, say babe I had a college party, I would take you but I didn't know if u can handle your drink. She will be like Uh huh I can.

But I told you exactly how to fix the scenario... if u want to initiate contact than send her a ping like...

"just sent u a text and now talking to you, you have two more wishes."
Author:  J0N0 [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Entourage, you do realise i had already given my excuse. There's no use me giving her your excuse because she'd see i'm lying. I need a new way out. I believe this is still on. Keep the faith! Happy to wait till this dies down until she contacts, and then i'll tell her i owe her one, an ice cream, etc.
Author:  Entourages [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
No need for an excuse, just send a ping message if she replies reinitiate contact and game her again, if not than just wait and call her in a day or two.
Author:  J0N0 [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 12:03 am ]
Post subject: 
The good news is, she replied. I never even contacted her, she replied to my last sentence above, like an hour ago. 'You Wish'. Should i ignore it...., or what?

She's obviously still into me, otherwise she wouldn't have replied. We're still in here!!
Author:  Entourages [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 2:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Ignore the comment dont reply wait a full day maybe two.

Than call her and just chat. Then set up another date.
Author:  J0N0 [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok, a full day just passed......

J - I know right! I owe you an Ice Cream. Vanilla or Chocolate?!
S - I don't like ice cream?
J - Good. We'll go all out on the Shots then. You'll have to show me the ropes though coz i ain't a pro at it like!
S - Are you trying to be funny?
J - Nevermind!
S - Ok.

And that was that. She is evidently still fucked off. Do i just let this cool off, and wait for any contact? If she doesn't, i can accept that i blew this one, and will let it go.
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 12:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
dude, stop fucking around and be responsible for this kind of shit, wtf are you doing?

it's not the girls roll to initiate, it's not the girls roll to escalate, and it's not the girls roll to make sure that you feel sure of yourself, get this shit in order and orchistrate the whole thing, you lead, she follows the lead

sitting around reacting to her going... hmmm im not sure of this... im not sure of that... hopefully she will just take charge and let me know what to do...

that shit is not going to fly, keep it up and get ready for flakes followed by the friend zone, if you are not already in too deep

as for the last attempt at an invite out, that shit was so wishy washy and weak, get to the point and justify what you are doing to her, she didn't even turn you down she was just unsure of your intent and in a shit mood, you tucked tail and ran, if she is being testy and all bitchy, then just call her out on it, if you have to... give her a week long time out, but you didn't even try in the first place, you just ran off, give it a real try and let her know what YOU WANT, don't try to go off what SHE WANTS, you go first, she follows, if it doesn't work out, try again another time, give her a few chances if it still doesn't work out... oh well, stop being so unsure and wishy washy, make a choice, and fucking go for it, do try to get her to make the choice, you make the choice, she complies or doesn't comply, that simple, the less thinking for herself she has to do the better

it seems so clear in your posts that you believe you are not good enough for this girl or something, just drop it, she is irriated, it doesn't mean anything, she will get over it and don't take this bitchy attitude from her, you fucked up.. yah, but you appologised, time to move on from that one date that never happened cause you're in your head, get yourself out of this shitty mindset
Author:  electric gypsy [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah man you fucked it up with banter, which is totally pointless. you had a date and fucked it up. also take this as a sign to not set up dates to far in the future, dude to exponentially higher flake rate.then you tried to be witty when talking to her about why you never went. it should have gone more along the lines of "hb i know i really messed this up, would you be down to hangout _______?" simple and straightforward. if she has agreed to a date, attraction has already been checked off. no need for bullshit man. keep it real.
Author:  J0N0 [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks guys. Again, i realise i bollocksed up. I know she's playing hard to get. I'll show her my intentions ASAP!
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