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Text conundrum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=142518		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Jeste512 [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 9:44 am ]
Post subject:  Text conundrum
So the Friday night I was texting with this HB and suggested we get together this weekend. We've known each other for a while but never hang out or anything. So she responds with the typical "lol" I reply with "It was actually a yes or no question ;)" I get no reply. So tonight I get a text from her "I'm sad that we didn't hang out" I reply with "In general? or today?" and she said "This weekend" I wrote back "Never heard back from you so..." Anyways. I'm not sure what's going on here? any thoughts or opinions?
Author:  Pokee [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
When she texted you back about not hanging out, it would have been best to freeze her out at that point. Asking her questions about clarifying her answer shows neediness and it also shows that you are affected by her actions.
That text of hers is like a carrot at the end of a stick. She'll tease you a little and try to get you to follow her lead and chase her. I'd wait for her to contact you. In the meantime, move on. If she doesn't contact you within 2 months, reopen with something funny and don't mention her flake.
Author:  Ptown [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't agree with freezing out with texts. That just creates both of you texting each other less its stupid. If it was me I would send another text now along the lines of "Look, I like you, and put myself out there for you and thought I would make the effort to get to know you better.."

This will be a genuine direct text and if you can offer her this then she will most likely be the same back. If not, then you shouldn't waste your time with her.
Author:  BITmixit [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 1:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Bored in a car on motorway thought this up for you:

You: "awww well you should've responded. My company was snapped up pretty quick"

Slight neg and you state that others wanted your attention. You weren't just sitting inside upset she didn't see u (not saying u did)

I imagine she will ask what you got up to, either make it sound social or whatever just something interesting. Then closer to weekend

"going Today, wanna join?"
Author:  Don Draper [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't see why you really need to reply to a girl, who obviously doesn't value the conversation.

You clearly told her that it was a Yes/No question. And her response to you was... nothing.

It does not really matter that she's cooking up a story about being "sad that we didn't hang out" because if she wanted to, she could've given you an indication of her willingness.

All she is looking for here is some easy chit-chat to bide the time, keep you hooked and deliver no payout. I don't know about you, but I'd like to cut my losses from a situation where nothing is to be gained, and among other things, time and efforts are to be lost.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
jeste-

youre being too needy. stop hanging all over her every word. stop asking her to clarify her responses. just stop. its sad.

also, you asked her out and said "So she responds with the typical "lol"". i dont get it. its not typical to ask a girl out and have her respond with lol. are you asking her out all the time and getting rejected? what makes this response 'typical'? i dont really get whats going on here.

whatever the case may be, its pretty obvious shes not seriously considering you as a potential lover at this point. you didnt really get into the history here but id say its very likely she considers you just a friend. theres nothing wrong with having a hot chick as a friend that you text every once in a while, but i think you also need to be realistic about what it is and not secretly hoping that someday its going to magically turn into something more.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I don't agree with freezing out with texts. That just creates both of you texting each other less its stupid. If it was me I would send another text now along the lines of "Look, I like you, and put myself out there for you and thought I would make the effort to get to know you better.."

This will be a genuine direct text and if you can offer her this then she will most likely be the same back. If not, then you shouldn't waste your time with her.

i agree that he shouldnt be 'freezing out' per se, but at the same time theres really no reason for him to be responding to her texts the way he does. when you ask a girl out and she responds with "lol" theres really no reason to continue texting her a bunch and asking her to clarify her responses and shit. just stop the conversation and wait for her to open you next time.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You: "awww well you should've responded. My company was snapped up pretty quick"

Slight neg and you state that others wanted your attention. You weren't just sitting inside upset she didn't see u (not saying u did)

no this is just lame. its not like shes gonna see that text and be like "damn, his company was snapped up pretty quick so therefore he a really attractive guy with tons of options so now i have to have him". its just gonna look tryhard.

change it a little and it might be better. maybe something like "thats fine, me and some friends went out and...." and just talk about something cool and fun you did. the key is making it look like it didnt really bother you. then just continue having fun and playful conversation.
Author:  ItsAlwaysOn [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I don't see why you really need to reply to a girl, who obviously doesn't value the conversation.

You clearly told her that it was a Yes/No question. And her response to you was... nothing.

It does not really matter that she's cooking up a story about being "sad that we didn't hang out" because if she wanted to, she could've given you an indication of her willingness.

All she is looking for here is some easy chit-chat to bide the time, keep you hooked and deliver no payout. I don't know about you, but I'd like to cut my losses from a situation where nothing is to be gained, and among other things, time and efforts are to be lost.

totally agree with this. i dont think he has to cut all off communication with her or anything, but he definitely needs to stop putting effort in. and who knows, that could be the thing that sparks some attraction for her. but either way, continuing to pursue her seems like a waste of time.
Author:  HeavyRota8tion [ Thu Aug 09, 2012 5:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Text conundrum
Quote:
So the Friday night I was texting with this HB and suggested we get together this weekend. We've known each other for a while but never hang out or anything. So she responds with the typical "lol" I reply with "It was actually a yes or no question ;)" I get no reply. So tonight I get a text from her "I'm sad that we didn't hang out" I reply with "In general? or today?" and she said "This weekend" I wrote back "Never heard back from you so..." Anyways. I'm not sure what's going on here? any thoughts or opinions?
She's baiting you to ask her out. You never heard back from her, big deal. Are you that fragile? Shit happens, maybe her dog died, maybe she's dating another guy, maybe she just wasn't feeling good and didn't want to go out, maybe she just wasn't in the mood. Regardless she owes you nothing. If a girl baits you into asking her out by all means go for it. Moods change like the weather; one moment a girl may not be receptive to your offer to hangout, but another day she may totally be and all it takes is that one encounter to get the ball rolling and build attraction.

I disagree with Don Draper, never leave an opportunity unexplored. If she's legit she'll agree to hanging out, if she finds excuses then ya she's a time waister and move on.
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