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Is gaming ruining my game?
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Author:  MrBreeze [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:40 am ]
Post subject:  Is gaming ruining my game?
I got into the PUA study because I was sick of my serial monogamist ways and to improve my skill set. I was never a AFC but I was no star either. Most of my life I could convert dates into Gfs with ease. But lately something odd has developed. Thanks to the genius of this board, some books, and videos my attraction is thru the roof. Over the last couple weeks Ive been killing it in day game and online. Girls are responding to me like I never thought was possible. Truly, thanks guys!

So the issue... my dating skills are off. Ive had three dates this week and all three no responded me after the meeting. Not one word. Before PUA I would have been confident that 2 if not all three would still talk to me. And one maybe two I could close within a week or so. I thought about how odd this was. I thought pussy would just be falling from the sky, you know? My previous game was a playful boyish charm. And on dates I would focus completely on her. I was watching a video by a guy named manwhore. He was saying that all the routines just get in the way and just to be an alpha male. To poorly paraphrase. Is all the focusing on eye contact, DHV, the MM, the this, the that getting in the way?

So my question: is focusing on gaming taken my focus off the date itself? Sure feels that way. Is this just an adjustment period, or failing? Has anyone experienced this? How is it possible to improve a lot on attraction and yet go backwards in dating (midgame?)?
Author:  LD [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is gaming ruining my game?
Quote:
I got into the PUA study because I was sick of my serial monogamist ways and to improve my skill set. I was never a AFC but I was no star either. Most of my life I could convert dates into Gfs with ease. But lately something odd has developed. Thanks to the genius of this board, some books, and videos my attraction is thru the roof. Over the last couple weeks Ive been killing it in day game and online. Girls are responding to me like I never thought was possible. Truly, thanks guys!

So the issue... my dating skills are off. Ive had three dates this week and all three no responded me after the meeting. Not one word. Before PUA I would have been confident that 2 if not all three would still talk to me. And one maybe two I could close within a week or so. I thought about how odd this was. I thought pussy would just be falling from the sky, you know? My previous game was a playful boyish charm. And on dates I would focus completely on her. I was watching a video by a guy named manwhore. He was saying that all the routines just get in the way and just to be an alpha male. To poorly paraphrase. Is all the focusing on eye contact, DHV, the MM, the this, the that getting in the way?

So my question: is focusing on gaming taken my focus off the date itself? Sure feels that way. Is this just an adjustment period, or failing? Has anyone experienced this? How is it possible to improve a lot on attraction and yet go backwards in dating (midgame?)?
It might very well be.

I think this is just a side affect of a learning process. WHen i am learning something new, i am focussing totally on the things i want to learn. sharpening the skillset and always try to conciously critique what i am doing when i am doing it.

I had the same thing with this new sport i am doing. I used to Tae kwan do and now i am kickboxing. the point is, i get in situations where i used to be quite at ease and now i am getting my butt kicked (well, punched actually). When sparring, anything counts as long as it aint a groin kick. I am allowed to try some TKD moves every once and a while. But i am focussing so much on the boxing (at which i still suck), i dont see the low kicks anymore. Then i am getting pissed and i focus on the kicks right until that right hook get in :s.

I think its normal. Parts of a learning process is creating certain reflexes. Stuff you start to do because you are used to it, you could see it as conditioning. In my case, when i learn something i need that conditioning asap, so it takes all my focus.

So, i wouldnt change much, but perhaps when you score a date, i would try to just let go. You got the date, fuck PUA and just enjoy yourself. If you are going to think about stuff to do or perhaps not to do, you will get the opposite effect. Score a date = be yourself and enjoy your time.

cheers!
Author:  Ilustrado [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Is gaming ruining my game?
Quote:
Quote:
Score a date = be yourself and enjoy your time.
Totally agree with this; if thinking too much about game is throwing you off when you're on a date, just use your game to GET the date, but once you're on it just be yourself if that's what works better for you. You can still use what you've learnt to avoid making rookie mistakes, but it might be a good idea to let the gimmicks and routines go while you're on the date and just use the boyish charm you usually do.
Author:  vcwriter [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sometimes taking a step forward means taking a step back.

Despite what you might think about "gaming", you can't place all guys on a hierarchy, where some guys are good at dating, and the ones who are REALLY good at dating end up getting laid a lot. Truth be told, there are two types of guys. Guys who date, and guys who fuck. (Third type: guys who do neither.)

Part of learning might mean that your dates go shittier for a while. Some of that is trying something new. Some of that is that the girl is expecting you to be a nice, charming, attractive guy... which is different from a highly sexual bad boy. (Third type: complete losers.)

A lot of it comes down to first impressions. If I meet a girl at a party with a good conversation, we have the kind of date that you have (or used to have). If I meet a girl at a night club with a lot of eye contact, dancing, and teasing... there's too much sexual tension on the first date for things to not get sexual. (Assuming she waits until the first date.)
Author:  "J" [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
i agree with everyone else on this board, youre just trying something new and it takes time to learn. just go with the flow and youll get better over time
Author:  MrBreeze [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is gaming ruining my game?
Quote:
i get in situations where i used to be quite at ease and now i am getting my butt kicked (well, punched actually).
Well, I guess there are worse learning curves than not getting laid! Thanks guys. I appreciate the advice. I think Im going to take the score a date and be more myself but with a more sexual charge to it.
Quote:
Part of learning might mean that your dates go shittier for a while. Some of that is trying something new. Some of that is that the girl is expecting you to be a nice, charming, attractive guy... which is different from a highly sexual bad boy. (Third type: complete losers.)
You know I hadnt really set a frame for my dates like I used to. Maybe going in as sexed up bad boy isnt a bad idea. I have a couple of dates this week and will give this a try.

Thanks for the thoughts I really wasnt sure if this was just a bump in the road or a misapplication on my part... Ill keep at it for sure!
Author:  LD [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Is gaming ruining my game?
Quote:
Ill keep at it for sure!
:) no matter how the situation is at this time, with that attitude, you are going to get there. That is for sure.

I like that.

cheers!
Author:  borgy95 [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
maybe it's worth considering that.. at this point alot of rapport and comfort building is required with some steady escalation, so negs and freeze outs can be reduced...

i try to talk ALOT less on these dates as i want them to be emotioanlly invested by how much they ahve told me... also it takes alot less energy to shut the fuck up and listen.
maybe discuss more intimate stuff.. dreams ambitions history (personal)... even sexual subjects... i recall the neild strauss' book refering to this... less gameing more caring to paraphrase as value as already been established to an extent... nopw she need to be able to trust you want you by her side , see herself fit into your life.

i.e. be boyishly charming!
Author:  MrBreeze [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
maybe it's worth considering that.. at this point alot of rapport and comfort building is required with some steady escalation, so negs and freeze outs can be reduced...

i try to talk ALOT less on these dates as i want them to be emotioanlly invested by how much they ahve told me... also it takes alot less energy to shut the fuck up and listen.
maybe discuss more intimate stuff.. dreams ambitions history (personal)... even sexual subjects... i recall the neild strauss' book refering to this... less gameing more caring to paraphrase as value as already been established to an extent... nopw she need to be able to trust you want you by her side , see herself fit into your life.

i.e. be boyishly charming!
Good points! I think I just forgot entirely what my goal was. Its human! At first I was just kinda practicing gaming and forgot to get my head into the f-ing game!
Author:  vcwriter [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 2:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Interested to see how it works out. Let us know what you learn.
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