PUA Forum :: Need some help with sweet girl.

As a general rule, you should be giving her 2/3 the calls/texts that she's giving you, and you asking her out to dinner should be a reward, not a given. She doesn't deserve dinner yet.

The two texts are an example of building non-compliance.

1 : Have dinner with me.
2 : No
3 : Have dinner with me. You cook.
4 : No

At this point in her eyes your status is like a homeless man catcalling her from an alley, she aint gonna do schit for you.

5 hours in a bar, are you kidding. You're demonstrating worthlessness to her. Who has time to be in a bar for 5 hours.

Don't contact her again until she gets in touch with you.
Go find other women.

Update.

So this girl im talking about get tagged on facebook at the evning time. 6-7 hours later than I talk to here over text. She is at the local mall with a girl.

A friend leaves a comment on the facebook, "you cant go there when you are sick"
So she was sick.

So now my question is, shall I confront her?, with her going to the mall but declining my dinner invitation ?

Was thinking about commentating the tag on facebook "the mall is good medicin

"

Just to make some fun of it and then ignore if she text me.

What do you think ?

Short version.

Went on date with girl friday. we kissed but I did not f-close. We were on a bar and we split up after 4 -5 hours. Almost got her with me home but she felt it would ruin everything between us if we went home first night.

I really think she likes me. And I like her too.
Anyways the day after I small talk with her and this is how the text is going.

Me: How about dinner with me and a friend couple of mine tommorow ?
Her: cant im not home at that time, im at my big brother place unfortualy:)

This would have been a good time to engage in idle banter, DHVing through callback humor (drawing inference to something from a face-to-face interaction you 2 experienced together)

Me: Bad excuse

(im making fun here)
Her:Okay, your not running that on me

( she knows im joking)

Even though you were sorta joking, "bad excuse" invokes the frame she's blowing you off and hence in control.

Me: Haha what about dinner at my place thuesday? You will make the dinner ofcause

Her: You understand how to sell the goods!! Now we must see

Persistence is good, neediness is not. I'd have not asked a 2nd time to get her out during the convo, particularly as she's 'long fuse'/has low investment in you (you need to build more attraction and comfort before asking her out again).

Me: Cant use that answer for much, Its fine if u dont want to see me again

Tryed to call her a half hour later but no answer.

Have't heard from her yet and this was saturday night, now its monday, do I play it cool and freeze out or whats the plan ? im sure she likes me no doubt but I probally should't fuck up more from now on If I wanna save this and keep her attraction.

Author:	DudeX [ Mon Aug 06, 2012 12:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Need some help with sweet girl.
Short version. Went on date with girl friday. we kissed but I did not f-close. We were on a bar and we split up after 4 -5 hours. Almost got her with me home but she felt it would ruin everything between us if we went home first night. I really think she likes me. And I like her too. Anyways the day after I small talk with her and this is how the text is going. Me: How about dinner with me and a friend couple of mine tommorow ? Her: cant im not home at that time, im at my big brother place unfortualy:) Me: Bad excuse (im making fun here) Her:Okay, your not running that on me ( she knows im joking) Me: Haha what about dinner at my place thuesday? You will make the dinner ofcause Her: You understand how to sell the goods!! Now we must see Me: Cant use that answer for much, Its fine if u dont want to see me again Tryed to call her a half hour later but no answer. Have't heard from her yet and this was saturday night, now its monday, do I play it cool and freeze out or whats the plan ? im sure she likes me no doubt but I probally should't fuck up more from now on If I wanna save this and keep her attraction.

Author:	RandomX [ Mon Aug 06, 2012 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:
As a general rule, you should be giving her 2/3 the calls/texts that she's giving you, and you asking her out to dinner should be a reward, not a given. She doesn't deserve dinner yet. The two texts are an example of building non-compliance. 1 : Have dinner with me. 2 : No 3 : Have dinner with me. You cook. 4 : No At this point in her eyes your status is like a homeless man catcalling her from an alley, she aint gonna do schit for you. 5 hours in a bar, are you kidding. You're demonstrating worthlessness to her. Who has time to be in a bar for 5 hours. Don't contact her again until she gets in touch with you. Go find other women.

Author:	sylarjones [ Mon Aug 06, 2012 6:01 pm ]
Post subject:
You are gold. Quote: As a general rule, you should be giving her 2/3 the calls/texts that she's giving you, and you asking her out to dinner should be a reward, not a given. She doesn't deserve dinner yet. The two texts are an example of building non-compliance. 1 : Have dinner with me. 2 : No 3 : Have dinner with me. You cook. 4 : No At this point in her eyes your status is like a homeless man catcalling her from an alley, she aint gonna do schit for you. 5 hours in a bar, are you kidding. You're demonstrating worthlessness to her. Who has time to be in a bar for 5 hours. Don't contact her again until she gets in touch with you. Go find other women.

Author:	DudeX [ Mon Aug 06, 2012 7:45 pm ]
Post subject:
Ty for the answer RandomX. Ofc u can spend 5 hours at a bar if you are having a good time with the girl and she has too. And she really had, cause she skipped her bail out plan because of how good the date was Do you really think not contacting her is best ? anyone else have any comments about this ?

Author:	LD [ Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey mate. Look, from what i can read, it doesnt look that good, unfortunately. If i was you, and you are sure she likes you, i would let her make contact. She will or she wont. i also think the conversation ends a little weird. Dont say: its fine if you dont want to see me again, even if you obviously dont mean it. It has a needy vibe in my opinion. At one side, i like you being concrete (having diner), but actually the core would be to do something together so you can get to know each other better. So it would have been better to just say: i like you and i want to see you again. Its more direct, which i believe leaves less space for shit like this where you keep asking yourself what to do and you dont really know where you are with this girl. In any case, i would not make contact, even though every fiber in your body says different. after a couple of days, start working on other options. cheers and good luck

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Author:	DudeX [ Mon Aug 06, 2012 9:22 pm ]
Post subject:
TO LD The date went with alot of joking forth and back so she knows I like to joke around with everything. OKay sounds like a good plan to let her contact me. Should I let her suggest too do something if she writes ? or let her suggest we do something. Make her invest ? Actually one time I invitet her out after we text forth and back same day and she did not reply( i dide't contact her after that text were she did not answer ). 1 week or so later she wrote if I could forgive her cause she's been busy and if she could make it up to me ? thats how the date came in first place.

Author:	Denko [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 1:39 pm ]
Post subject:
Listen up buddy, you didn't do nothing wrong and im not saying this cuz someone else said so, i just wanted to emphasize one important thing in dating. Let the seduction and other principles aside and let us be persistent and positive towards our goal.I just don't understand what is wrong with spending hours with a girl whilst having great time, nowadays you can barely find such a girls that you can enjoy your stay without it getting boring or just one of you screwing things up. Back to your Q, first of all, asking a girl on a dinner it's not such a big mistake nor a wrong move but frankly speaking the way you've asked, might be, but im not gonna hold on that. Second since you like her and from your personal experience it was obvious that she feels the same back, then keep going, regardless that she didn't accept ur invitation and actually i really thing that she wasn't able to come but again don't rush on dinners and don't be so obvious be more stylish, for instance: u wana grab some sneak or go to park, beach etc. Btw im saying this only cuz it seems that you really like this girl and don't wanna rush on things. Finally don't forget that you aren't the only one who would benefit from this relationship so, don't be too cocky nor too demanding instead be and calm n cool on ur moves, if u really like her give it another shot, it's much better that "just waiting" that technique is kinda old and won't fit on with the level of ur patience at this state.

Author:	DudeX [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the answer Denko. I do like her, not like one itis or anything but to get her to know better at least. I went for a chance to invite her again before I saw your post. So I wrote her today. Hey Ms.X! How about we cook some dinner at my place tonight, and we can chill with a movie afterwards, are you fresh ?:) 1 hour later Her: Hey Mr.X! Thanks for the invite but im laying sick! So I have to pass this one sorry! Hugs from me I responded 2 hours later Hope you get better sweety! So far no more respond from her. Anyways now I will freeze her for sure. I have a feeling she like hunting the guy a bit too( cause another time I invitet her out, she did not answer and I did not write or contact her.Then 1 week later she wrote a text how sorry she was that she dide't answer and If I could forgive her). But we also spoke on the date to make it clear if u dide't want anythign to do with the other person instead of making games so...well have to see.. Hope others can use this for their own sitiuation :=) I will update!

Author:	DudeX [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:21 am ]
Post subject:
Update. So this girl im talking about get tagged on facebook at the evning time. 6-7 hours later than I talk to here over text. She is at the local mall with a girl. A friend leaves a comment on the facebook, "you cant go there when you are sick" So she was sick. So now my question is, shall I confront her?, with her going to the mall but declining my dinner invitation ? Was thinking about commentating the tag on facebook "the mall is good medicin " Just to make some fun of it and then ignore if she text me. What do you think ?

Author:	LD [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 5:53 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Update. So this girl im talking about get tagged on facebook at the evning time. 6-7 hours later than I talk to here over text. She is at the local mall with a girl. A friend leaves a comment on the facebook, "you cant go there when you are sick" So she was sick. So now my question is, shall I confront her?, with her going to the mall but declining my dinner invitation ? Was thinking about commentating the tag on facebook "the mall is good medicin " Just to make some fun of it and then ignore if she text me. What do you think ? Hey mate, i would just leave her. THis is the third time you ask her, right? If she truly wants to have diner with you, she would have agreed already, dont you think? If she truly wants to hear from you, she will contact you. that is what i would do. I wouldnt reply to the FB thing. Besides, you are thinking of playing games. That is not a good idea, especially not because you are here asking us about it, which means you are more emotionally involved then you would admit. By planning your steps (first reply on FB and then ignoring her if she texts) you are going to drive yourself crazy. What if she doesnt text you? The ignore part would soon turn in to you sending her a text anyway, because of your urge to control this situation. But htere is nothing you can do at this point that will make her like you more. The only way you have any control over it, is just to leave this one be and let her make the first move now. cheers!

Author:	HeavyRota8tion [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:19 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Update. So this girl im talking about get tagged on facebook at the evning time. 6-7 hours later than I talk to here over text. She is at the local mall with a girl. A friend leaves a comment on the facebook, "you cant go there when you are sick" So she was sick. So now my question is, shall I confront her?, with her going to the mall but declining my dinner invitation ? Was thinking about commentating the tag on facebook "the mall is good medicin " Just to make some fun of it and then ignore if she text me. What do you think ? Confront her?? ARE YOU ON CRACK? She's under no obligation to you, so you're going to reprimand a girl who has no investment in you to begin with? You're angry because you qualified yourself to her and she wasn't receptive. Calling her out on being sick will be the last time you ever hear from her

Author:	DudeX [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 6:39 am ]
Post subject:
Really appresiate your answers. Not going to contact her then or make any funny comments. What if the unthinkable happen and she contacts me and wanna do something ? still hopping lol! like it much better when I rejects someone :=)!

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