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Not sure what to do?
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Author:  An0n1m0us [ Mon Jul 30, 2012 4:24 am ]
Post subject:  Not sure what to do?

I met this girl through some friends about three months ago. We talked a couple times in the first month. Last couple months we hung out a few times, usually at my friends house but afterwards we ended up at her place. The premise behind us meeting was to have sex, as neither of us got laid in the few months before that. The first time I tried she turned me down and said she wanted to get to know me better. I've tried the next two times but to no avail. We had a conversation about it and agreed that she's not ready to have sex.

No, just a little bit about her history. She was engaged and loved the guy deeply but he cheated on her and treated her like shit. They broke up about a year ago but she's still in pain over it. I'm trying to be supportive but I'm not sure of that's my role at this point.

Now, back to us. When we hang out its amazing and she has given me more compliments than I gave her. She even told my friend a lot of good things about me. Unfortunately she goes through mood changes a lot. She's a couple years older than Lme, not sure if that matters. She talks differently to me when she's drunk, telling me she wants to cuddle and misses me. She will make casual plans at the time but then on the day off she cancels. She quotes her busy lifestyle and her sports. In the last two months we hung out probably 8 times, not every weekend and only once during the week. But I spent a couple weekends at her house every night, while doing different things during the day.

I'm unsure of what to do at this point. I'm ok with this causal thing, whether it can be called that. When we're together in person she often talks about "future events", like doing things together, etc.

Can someone please clarify this for me a bit? Please ask for more details if needed.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I've tried the next two times but to no avail. We had a conversation about it and agreed that she's not ready to have sex.
This is untrue, you have simply not escalated enough sexual tension for her to the point of submitting herself to sex.
Quote:
I'm trying to be supportive but I'm not sure of that's my role at this point.
No that's NOT your role! Unless you goal is to become her emotional tampon, soaking up all her deepest drama stories, and buying her dinners and cars hoping one day she'll take her bra off in front of you! While on the side she is getting rammed full of cock!

When your together with her, Assume sex
Think about this for a second. She’s in your bed and has shown obvious signs of attraction all night. I can almost guarentee she wants it to and it is true that women enjoy sex as much as men (if not more). Start thinking about what’s going through her mind, “Why wont he go for it already?” ”I gave him enough signs, I hope he mans up” “God I’m horny! He better make a move!”. Obviously you don’t know what’s going through her mind but the point is you assume it since it’s most likely true and will lead you to taking action. Understand that women enjoy sex as much as men do (if not more) but because of their anti slut defenses they can not allow themselves to be responsible for doing anything that can lead the interaction to sex. She also EXPECTS you to sexually escalate since you’re a man, it’s normal and not low value to want sex…in fact if you don’t go for it she’s left to either think you don’t like her, you’re a wimp, or you’re gay. What this boils down to is that it’s on you, don’t let her down.

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