PUA Forum :: [[EPIC RECOVERY!?]]

Thanks for the responses, i skimped on the details about the "day2" second bullet point because it's a huge story. I analyzed it myself already and from my understanding this is what happened:

We got rejected from the club, even though I had a table there, VIP for a girls bday that we were going to - so I thought I lost some value here and I went into "Day 1" mode where I was just trying to show value / DHV again. I did this by paying them little to no interest, speaking to other girls in the club, introducing to some other people that were girls.

While this was happening, i was still kino/flirting with HB. She was putting her hand up my shirt and touching my abs etc, but the flame dulled down every single interaction we had. Down, and down, til eventually by the end of the night it was sour - because we both wanted to be with eachother yet I was treating her crap because i thought i needed to rebuild value. And she felt like she was just one of my 'bitches'.

It wasn't a specific point where i fucked up it was just a mis-read of the whole situation. She sent me a text, saying that she thinks sometimes I like the feeling of people waiting on me, and feeling superior. This is coz sometimes i reply to her texts hours later (sometimes a day later).

Author:	PUAlexander19 [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 11:54 am ]
Post subject:	[[EPIC RECOVERY!?]]
In short: -met hb9 2 weekends ago, hit it off, i built massive value and attraction through preselection/DHV stories etc and we had a great time, k-closed - met again last weekend, we get rejected from club, bad vibe, other family shit happened, and i end up being too arrogant and pushing hb away - she gets very upset, sending me a text 'never wanting to hang out again' to which i gave a really smart and fitting 'excuse' for why i was acting that way, while keeping my dominant frame -shes said its fine dont worry about it, we text the next day, its quite cold on her end - I decide fuck it, if i called her right now it'd show my massive balls: so i do it - i tell her we had a great time last weekend lets not ruin this over a misunderstanding, we had a good chemistry - she tells me she doesnt want relationship, i tell her I have no time for a relationship (which she believes because im a DJ) - i say we can still go out and have a good time and then she said to me: "Ok im happy with that" - Texts have lightened up and she just texted me: "Me and my friend politely request that you personal train us " Now my question is, I've built a humongous amount of value / attraction already - but i made her feel like a piece of shit on the day 2, since i was ditching her in the club and speaking to a bunch of other hot girls i knew there, etc. HOW DO I ACT ON THE DAY3? Do i do a more comfort centric style? Keeping in mind she is not looking for relationship, rather than fun, so i guess she's a party girl. It's like an inbuilt thing for me to never, ever EVER be nice but I think in this situation I have to, i dont need to neg / DHV anymore because it won't serve a purpose. So yeah kinda torn in what kind of game to play on day 3, any advice guys ?

Author:	JacquesMaurice [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:15 pm ]
Post subject:
I think the difficult part here is that you have lost some ground overall. She will be somewhat apprehensive on your next meet, almost like she expects you to hurt her again - use this to your advantage and prove her wrong! You want to go back in your game a little bit but not too far. Test the waters with some kino and gauge her body language, is the her attraction for you still ramped up? If yes then spend a little time building comfort to enforce her trust in you. Once her body language opens up (she plays with her hair, points her lead leg your way, crosses her legs towards you) escalate quickly, you've crossed the physical barrier before so that shouldn't be too hard. Your aim is to get your frame back to where it was when her attraction for you was the highest

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:30 pm ]
Post subject:
Why do you HAVE to game her? Your second bullet-point was WAY too glossed over for ANYONE to give you an good idea of what happened. You're proud that you build "humongous" and "massive" attraction - you drove that point home... yet you dismissed what she perceived you doing wrong... You're throwing out all the terms... pre-selection, DHV, dominant frame, K-close... etc... But you're not throwing out the actual detail of the encounter that caused her to get pissed to begin with. THAT needs to be your starting point. And, when she says she doesn't want a relationship - take that with a grain of salt. Might be a shit test, might be insecurity, might be a chick just saying what she thinks you want to hear. Treat it as a non-issue until you know. Calibrating game based on potential shit-tests is a dicey move. You obviously did something to set her off, and you also pulled her back in (kudos, by the way)... but before we go off half-cocked; we need DETAIL - otherwise we could be fucking up huge with any advice we offer... Best, RR

Author:	PUAlexander19 [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the responses, i skimped on the details about the "day2" second bullet point because it's a huge story. I analyzed it myself already and from my understanding this is what happened: We got rejected from the club, even though I had a table there, VIP for a girls bday that we were going to - so I thought I lost some value here and I went into "Day 1" mode where I was just trying to show value / DHV again. I did this by paying them little to no interest, speaking to other girls in the club, introducing to some other people that were girls. While this was happening, i was still kino/flirting with HB. She was putting her hand up my shirt and touching my abs etc, but the flame dulled down every single interaction we had. Down, and down, til eventually by the end of the night it was sour - because we both wanted to be with eachother yet I was treating her crap because i thought i needed to rebuild value. And she felt like she was just one of my 'bitches'. It wasn't a specific point where i fucked up it was just a mis-read of the whole situation. She sent me a text, saying that she thinks sometimes I like the feeling of people waiting on me, and feeling superior. This is coz sometimes i reply to her texts hours later (sometimes a day later).

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 12:54 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Thanks for the responses, i skimped on the details about the "day2" second bullet point because it's a huge story. I analyzed it myself already and from my understanding this is what happened: We got rejected from the club, even though I had a table there, VIP for a girls bday that we were going to - so I thought I lost some value here and I went into "Day 1" mode where I was just trying to show value / DHV again. I did this by paying them little to no interest, speaking to other girls in the club, introducing to some other people that were girls. While this was happening, i was still kino/flirting with HB. She was putting her hand up my shirt and touching my abs etc, but the flame dulled down every single interaction we had. Down, and down, til eventually by the end of the night it was sour - because we both wanted to be with eachother yet I was treating her crap because i thought i needed to rebuild value. And she felt like she was just one of my 'bitches'. It wasn't a specific point where i fucked up it was just a mis-read of the whole situation. She sent me a text, saying that she thinks sometimes I like the feeling of people waiting on me, and feeling superior. This is coz sometimes i reply to her texts hours later (sometimes a day later). Ask yourself this: What happens if you don't game? Is it potentially a sticking point that you over-game? If she's touching your abs in the club - why not just escalate and try to leave? Something happened between her touching your abs under your shirt to her getting cold as fuck. If that something is you treating her like shit based on 'game theory' - recalibrate MUCH earlier in the evening. Game routines, theories, etc... are based on trends, not individuals. You need to identify her own specific trigger points, and adjust from there. When you're out next, try to focus on WHY she's saying something rather than simply what she's saying. Her motivations are the key to your own escalation. Good luck. RR

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Author:	PUAlexander19 [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:
I fully agree with you RetiredRodeo. We've now organized a date for her and her friend to do a little personal training session with me - im taking them to a park near my house and will make em work up a sweat. I think i will just keep it playful, casual and sexual no need to play any games i think - unless you have another opinion?

Author:	Tr@veler [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:
Yes, just have fun in your next meetup. Don't be a dick. Assess the situation, assess her interest level, because you must still stay congruent with who you are. I wouldn't become over nice here, as that would be you changing for her to like you. But don't be a dick either. If you sense that things are going well, there is no need to push. Push and pull is really only needed if the girl NEEDS to be pushed and then pulled. Don't push if you don't have to. Teasing, on the other hand, is still always fine, but also calibrate.

Author:	PUAlexander19 [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 3:47 pm ]
Post subject:
Totally agree there Tr@veller, thanks for the advice Cheers guys!

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Mon Jul 23, 2012 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: - unless you have another opinion? My opinion... Tr@veler summed it up flawlessly... Game on. RR

Author:	PUAlexander19 [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:28 am ]
Post subject:
Hey guys just an update on the situation We've scheduled to do a workout session tomorrow around 4-5pm ish - and I am going to be picking them up (the 2 girls) from a nearby shopping centre which is close to the park we are going to train at. Is it a mistake picking them up? They are 18, have no car, and she pretty much asked me directions for a good 5-6 text messages and i said, you know what Ill pick you up from "X shopping centre". She's almost making it out as if this is strictly a professional thing, some texts by her: "Can we finish by 7 latest?" "How much is it?" etc - she never really does emoticons or anything in texts so they seem cold but im not sure how to gauge. The worst case scenario in my head at the moment is, i pick them up, do a workout and she treats me like all the other guys that drive her around and do stuff for her and are stuck in the friend zone. Only other thing is that im the polar opposite of someone who would be in the friend zone, so Im not sure. Maybe she's trying to save some dignity because after she said "never again" to seeing each other here she is again 5 days later? Maybe that's why she is just acting as if she's really just interested in the training? She has a lot of self worth. If anyone can shed some light, itd be greatly appreciated. Edit: She also used to answer my texts almost instantly - now she takes like 30-40 mins sometimes an hour to reply... lol

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:09 am ]
Post subject:
Don't worry about it. You made the overture to pick her up - kudos. If it turns south - Oh well. You're out "a ride" and you can start gaming other chicks. The 'friendzone' isn't a real place. If you want to get out of it - KISS her. Either it works, or it doesn't - but there's no mistaking it - it caveman's you right out of the friendzone. Be upbeat, cool - and watch her carefully. respond to the signals she exhibits. Good luck!! RR

Author:	HeavyRota8tion [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 5:19 am ]
Post subject:
If you continually set-off anyone, their interest will wane. It's one thing to be elusive, but another thing to come off as completely inaccessible.

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