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| Email Conundrum! Advice please :) https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=141369 |
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| Author: | harveyking [ Sun Jul 22, 2012 12:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Email Conundrum! Advice please :) |
Hello fellas, So, I used to work remotely (via phone/email) with this girl. I was married at the time but we got on well, all very platonic. When I left the company, she gave me her personal email address, 'in case I ever needed it'. I got divorced 3months ago or so. During that hard time, her tweets/FB posts (they weren't directed at me, btw) made me crack up and actually helped when I was really low. Two weeks ago, I wrote to her, simply to thank her for those tweets/FB posts and told her that they had a positive effect on me. From there, our emails grew to be quite personal, very organically. She said that she was very flattered and humbled that she was able to help me. She also told me how much she enjoyed working with me and that I was an exception in terms of clients. We also wrote about how we deal with hard times and she said that she really admired how I was and that she could learn a lot from me. These emails went back and forth for 4 days - in that time, 15 emails exchanged. Then, I added context to my hard time that I had mentioned in my first email - i.e. that I was divorced. Her response was warm but very short. I responded to that, but then she didn't write back for days and days. I have no idea why??!! About a week later, I wrote a very short email to say that I hope that she didn't find my email about my divorce too personal or made her uncomfortable in anyway, because I wouldn't want her to think badly of me. She responded within minutes saying that she wasn't uncomfortable in the slightest and she found my emails to her quite inspiring. She also said that she would certainly never think badly of me... Since this, I haven't responded. Not quite sure how to play it from here! Or what her reasons for the no contact could be... I know a lot of you chaps are way more experienced than I - any thoughts on this would be most helpful. H. |
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| Author: | Don Draper [ Sun Jul 22, 2012 3:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Life should only move in one direction : Forward. The more you keep backpedaling to whatever happened in your life, the more you'll mire in your sadness. You got divorced? Congratulations. No one knows how bad it has to get for that to take place. Now, move on from that event. This is a woman who is presented to you as a new opportunity. The conversations that you should be having with her should not be regarding your old relationship, your old situation, her old FB posts/tweets and everything that is associated with 'old'. Ring in the 'new'. You're interested in her, show her that. Your e-mails should carry atleast some amount of charm and intent. Do not mind going a bit direct at times, after all she gave you the id 'in case you ever needed it'. The reason for her disinterest is simple, you're throwing yourself a pity-party and she doesn't want to attend. The more you talk about the past, the more she will think that it is all you can talk about. Take chances. Ask her about how life has been treating her, about what she does when she's got too much time on her hands, joke about a vacation you guys can take together, in short, show an interest in getting to know her now. And that you've put the things that happened, behind you. Good luck. |
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