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Does my ex-gf want to get back with me?
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Author:  Snarg [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 6:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Does my ex-gf want to get back with me?
I dated this girl for about 3 months. We ended it pretty maturely without fighting or anything and ended on a good note. The reason for the breakup was pretty ambiguous, I just didn't like her lack of commitment and reciprocation in the relationship so I broke it off. She asked if we could still be friends and I said "sure, maybe" then went into a mixture of limited to no contact for the next 2 months. I would only talk to her if she texted me, and I would respond only about 50% of the time with half-assed answers. I just didn't care to keep up communication I guess.

Now we're back in school together and she's been acting pretty weird. I've caught her trying to look at me in class, and if I do catch her she looks away quickly. She still texts me from time to time and I try to keep communication to a minimum. I figured if I half-assed the texting enough, she'd eventually stop, but I guess that's not the case.

Recently, several of our mutual have friends have approached me and told me something to the effect of "Lauren told me not to tell you this, but she's upset that you don't talk to her anymore". This came from three mutual female friends. She has also started trying to talk to me at school and always tries to tell me secrets and shit that she's "not supposed to tell anyone". She does other little things to try to get my attention from time to time also.

Maybe I'm looking into it too much, and I honestly don't care that much either way, but are these necessarily signs that she might be interested again? If so, I'd be fine with giving things another chance with her, but what would be the best course of action for me to follow in order to re-initiate contact with her and get the ball rolling? I'm 23 and she's 25, if that matters to anyone.
Author:  SimplyNotAwesome [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Now answer yourself a question. Was she really the one you would marry, fuck for 50 next years and laugh everyday with? If no - forget her and move on. Your passion has burned out.

Now think from your perspective. You have different emotions than I and I am not you and I only advice from my own experience.
Author:  Snarg [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 1:39 am ]
Post subject: 
I definitely see where you're coming from. As of right now, the answer to your question would be "no". But that doesn't mean I'd be opposed to changing my mind somewhere down the line because you never know what could happen. Honestly, I'm not 100% sold on even wanting to get back with her. I guess I just made this topic because I am curious as to whether she's showing signs of rekindled interest.
Author:  Snarg [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 4:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Sorry for the double post but tonight she was even more strange. She seems to get mad at me for just about anything I say. She's extremely sensitive and can't handle me teasing her at all now, which is extremely out of the ordinary. Are these volatile emotions indicative of anything I should be aware of?
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 5:03 am ]
Post subject: 
The opposite of love is indifference; not hate. You're indifferent to her. Now, she's angry with you. Be aware of the 5 Stages of Loss and Grief. The link I'm providing is about the death of a love one but it can apply to a girlfriend who just lost her boyfriend.

When she looks away when you catch her looking, that's Stage 1. Denial and Isolation. Now that she's angry with you, that's Stage 2. Stage 2 is Anger. Stage 3 is Bargaining. Stage 4 is Depression. And finally, Stage 5 is Acceptance. Here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5- ... and-grief/

You'll have to help her get to Stage 5 if you want to cut clean. One way to help her get to Stage 5 is to bang her when she bargains but you should continue treating her the same way as before. She'll be depressed as a result. That's normal. She might threaten suicide but girls seldom make good of their threats but that's okay as long as you can handle the additional stress. By leading her to depression, you'll help her finally move on and leave her better than when you found her.

When she bargains, tell her what you didn't like about the relationship with her. She'll do her best to improve and please you. You can either not lead her to depression anymore when you're satisfied with her efforts or you complete the process until Stage 5. Either way, you'll help make her a better person. :twisted:
Author:  Blown_Away [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I guess I just made this topic because I am curious as to whether she's showing signs of rekindled interest.
Yes, she does and you know it very well.
And that's why you open the thread:
"...but what would be the best course of action for me to follow in order to re-initiate contact with her and get the ball rolling?"

I cannot advise on any action of you. Maybe just ask her out to talk about her behavior and then fuck her same night, if you want to bury the tomahawk.
Author:  Zepter [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The opposite of love is indifference; not hate. You're indifferent to her. Now, she's angry with you. Be aware of the 5 Stages of Loss and Grief. The link I'm providing is about the death of a love one but it can apply to a girlfriend who just lost her boyfriend.

When she looks away when you catch her looking, that's Stage 1. Denial and Isolation. Now that she's angry with you, that's Stage 2. Stage 2 is Anger. Stage 3 is Bargaining. Stage 4 is Depression. And finally, Stage 5 is Acceptance. Here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5- ... and-grief/

You'll have to help her get to Stage 5 if you want to cut clean. One way to help her get to Stage 5 is to bang her when she bargains but you should continue treating her the same way as before. She'll be depressed as a result. That's normal. She might threaten suicide but girls seldom make good of their threats but that's okay as long as you can handle the additional stress. By leading her to depression, you'll help her finally move on and leave her better than when you found her.

When she bargains, tell her what you didn't like about the relationship with her. She'll do her best to improve and please you. You can either not lead her to depression anymore when you're satisfied with her efforts or you complete the process until Stage 5. Either way, you'll help make her a better person. :twisted:
GREAT POST.
Author:  Snarg [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The opposite of love is indifference; not hate. You're indifferent to her. Now, she's angry with you. Be aware of the 5 Stages of Loss and Grief. The link I'm providing is about the death of a love one but it can apply to a girlfriend who just lost her boyfriend.

When she looks away when you catch her looking, that's Stage 1. Denial and Isolation. Now that she's angry with you, that's Stage 2. Stage 2 is Anger. Stage 3 is Bargaining. Stage 4 is Depression. And finally, Stage 5 is Acceptance. Here: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the-5- ... and-grief/

You'll have to help her get to Stage 5 if you want to cut clean. One way to help her get to Stage 5 is to bang her when she bargains but you should continue treating her the same way as before. She'll be depressed as a result. That's normal. She might threaten suicide but girls seldom make good of their threats but that's okay as long as you can handle the additional stress. By leading her to depression, you'll help her finally move on and leave her better than when you found her.

When she bargains, tell her what you didn't like about the relationship with her. She'll do her best to improve and please you. You can either not lead her to depression anymore when you're satisfied with her efforts or you complete the process until Stage 5. Either way, you'll help make her a better person. :twisted:
Interesting. I've actually come across this article before but never realized it could relate to a breakup.

Isn't it weird that she's exhibiting these emotions nearly 2 months after the breakup, though? I figured she would have moved on by now. Maybe by seeing me again for the first time, everything is flooding back to her or something. One thing is for sure though, and that's the fact that she is irrationally angry at me.

With that said, should I continue to act indifferent toward her until she moves on to the bargaining phase? The thing is, she's already tried hard to keep in contact with me, so isn't that in itself bargaining? Do you have any suggested courses of action for me to take at this point?

Thank you for your response; great post!
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Sat Jul 21, 2012 3:06 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
With that said, should I continue to act indifferent toward her until she moves on to the bargaining phase? The thing is, she's already tried hard to keep in contact with me, so isn't that in itself bargaining? Do you have any suggested courses of action for me to take at this point?
You can bait her to finalize the bargaining phase. Invite her for coffee and let her speak her mind. She'll make an offer or ask you some questions like, "Why did you broke up with her? What can she do to make things right?"

Two months of not moving on is a long time. Therefore, being indifferent is not working at the moment. As an option, you can give her a concession in return for following your rules or wish list in a relationship. Make her comply to your wish list. What will happen is that she might do something that will be good enough for you to rekindle the relationship or she might still have some issues and what she does isn't good enough for you.

Once you're done with that phase, the depression stage can be overly dramatic. She might cut her hair and ruin it. She might stalk you physically, online or on the phone. It will suck if you're not used to this. But this stage is essential to help her move on. Hope you'll be lucky enough and the drama won't be too much.

One more thing. When you're in the bargaining stage, give her a small gift or token. It does not have to be expensive. There's a science to this gift giving to help her move on. Before I learned about this gift giving technique, some of my break ups really sucked big time. But I think I already gained so much experience and knowledge on how to handle break ups, stalkers and chicks who find it hard to move on that I know I'm offering you the best course of action. Fucking them good has its downsides. It's harder for girls to let you go. :twisted:
Author:  Johanna [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 11:35 am ]
Post subject:  the Retrieve A Lover Spell from prophet harry
When I was with my ex-boyfriend, he treated me so poorly that we broke-up and I was the one who ended up in pain. I then asked for the Retrieve A Lover Spell from prophetharry @ ymail. com for someone to love me as I would love them. Then 2 days later, my boyfriend came back and treated me like I meant the world to him. We've been together for a months now and still an apple in each other's eye!
Johanna, Canada
Author:  Snarg [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Wow, I can't wait to talk to Prophet Harry about this. Thanks so much.
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