PUA Forum :: I Think This Girl's Testing Me?

Im not super experienced but, I think you should just stop talking to her and let her come to you if thats what she is going to do. Maybe ignore some of her texts, or get back to her late, i dunno. It seemed like attraction was there, but as mystery puts it, it is just a vapor and can easily disappear.

Update, I'm going to post our exact convo here and she just said she wanted to get drinks later.. hrm.. Idk.

From the point where we decided to go to dinner/movie.

Me: We're going to *insert restaurant name here* for dinner then we'll hit up a movie. Meet me up there at 7.
Her: Lol, yes sir! Bossy, I like it.. I'll see ya at 7, sharp!
Her: (This was the next day which is today at 4:49) I have to cancel on u, sorry. Can we do it tomorrow instead??
Me: I'll have to check.
Her: K just let me know

I'm completely open tomorrow. had to drive to Indy 2day, on my way home now, but I'm beat.
Me: Tomorrow night should be fine.
Me: How was your trip?
Her: Stupid lol. My bro had a child support issue. I think I might need a few drinks later if ur down??
Me: I might I might not. I think you just miss me haha.

That's our convo so far.

Her: lol I need a lil corey in my life tonight. for real though its beautiful out and i feel like gettin awesome

(She calls drunk awesome for some reason)

I'm just going to go for a K-Close and try to escalate some sexual tension and if it doesn't work out, there will be more people I'm sure. When you already have nothing with her, there's nothing to lose, only something to gain, right?

Quote:

"Go Caveman. Either you get the pussy, or you get a cool rejection story..." -Mystery

I might have an obstacle to work around..
Um.. anyone ever been in this situation?

These two middle aged, kind of trashy girls stopped me on my way to the SPAM (inside the bar) and said "look, we're just looking out for you.. but this girl's just giving you a ride for your money." lol what?

Then they approached her and did the same thing. So last night on the way home (before the k-close) she was piss drunk and said "Idk if I'm going to talk to you again that was really weird". I tried to defuse it as best as I could, but that was fucking weird.. I've met those girls maybe twice and they're approaching this girl saying you better not take him on a ride for his money?

Idk if she'll text me today or not. Idk if an apologetic text is in order or not.. I can honestly I've never been in that situation nor have I ever seen it happen.

Edit: When she arrived at the bar, she dressed up, had some pretty high class perfume on, flipped her hair to the opposite direction that I was sitting and had other IOIs.

She just takes time to F-Close.. I appreciate that.. it's a bartender after all who has probably dealt with and seen more guys than one can imagine.. plus she was a bartender in a big city. I'm just trying to think of a solution to the clusterfuck that the two drunk idiot middle aged women made in her mind last night.

I'm sure they messed with her mind a little bit like "Idk if this is such a good idea."

Quote:

Stop.

Read your words. Nowhere in this paragraph do I see YOU regaining control.

You have 2 women talking to a drunk bartender about hurting you? YOU remove their focus. You remove any hindrances. You politely thank the women (make them a non-issue), and then continue set. If she mentions anything about it... Then you need to deflect "Yeah... it's funny. Some bum out back said you'd be an awful in the sack, too... but I ignored him." (insert whatever off-the-wall statement you prefer if you are uncomfortable using such a sexual response).

It sounds like you allowed the comments to fester in her brain, and she commented on it on the way home...After she said "Idk if I'm going to talk with you again, that was weird..." You can immediately remove her perceived control by saying "Yeah, I agree... I'm not sure I even like you."

She's a hired gun. She's used to alcohol. The 2 women could be CB'ing due to losing a dude to her.That doesn't matter. What does matter is that when 3 women are talking ABOUT you, and you don't control the topic - or at least do quality damage-control after-the-fact, you undermine the set.

BE the man. She gets hit on ALL THE TIME. So? You be different.

You're doing well, not wanting to beat you up - just a little monday-morning QB session for you.

RR

Author:	cg319 [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:24 pm ]
Post subject:	I Think This Girl's Testing Me?
Alright, so last Thursday I met this girl at a bar. She was with her brother and later in the night we started talking to each other. She bought me a shot, we talked and she threw me some IOIs. I got her number and then they both left. Oh well, no biggie. Well the next day, she came to the bar again (Saturday I believe) because I was there (Sounds legit) and we hung out again. Talked some more, she did a little bit of flirting. She drove me home but there was no K-close or anything. There was still a little vibe. Well on Monday she asked if I was out and about and I told her I was headed out and she wanted to meet me. Well she never responded back to me until the morning and said her ADD kicked in and she was one town away and forgot about coming to meet me. She was a little drunk, she calls it "Getting awesome". Well today we were supposed to meet for Dinner then go to a movie but 2 hours before the meeting she said she had to cancel because she had to drive to another state today and she was beat then said we'd do it tomorrow. Now, I know all of this could have happened, but do any of you think she's just testing me to see if I'll stick around? What are your thoughts on the next thing to do?

Author:	Reckon [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Im not super experienced but, I think you should just stop talking to her and let her come to you if thats what she is going to do. Maybe ignore some of her texts, or get back to her late, i dunno. It seemed like attraction was there, but as mystery puts it, it is just a vapor and can easily disappear.

Author:	cg319 [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Im not super experienced but, I think you should just stop talking to her and let her come to you if thats what she is going to do. Maybe ignore some of her texts, or get back to her late, i dunno. It seemed like attraction was there, but as mystery puts it, it is just a vapor and can easily disappear. I do wait to respond to most of her texts or at least try to seem busy like I have a busy life (lol, I work home, I don't). It's possible she really is just busy and that she possibly got drunk and forgot. She's the one who recommended going to a movie in the first place or at least getting out of the bar scene.

Author:	cg319 [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:
Update, I'm going to post our exact convo here and she just said she wanted to get drinks later.. hrm.. Idk. From the point where we decided to go to dinner/movie. Me: We're going to insert restaurant name here for dinner then we'll hit up a movie. Meet me up there at 7. Her: Lol, yes sir! Bossy, I like it.. I'll see ya at 7, sharp! Her: (This was the next day which is today at 4:49) I have to cancel on u, sorry. Can we do it tomorrow instead?? Me: I'll have to check. Her: K just let me know I'm completely open tomorrow. had to drive to Indy 2day, on my way home now, but I'm beat. Me: Tomorrow night should be fine. Me: How was your trip? Her: Stupid lol. My bro had a child support issue. I think I might need a few drinks later if ur down?? Me: I might I might not. I think you just miss me haha. That's our convo so far.

Author:	Reckon [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:
well you can use some anti flaking techniques like planning a day to hang out but no specifics (except a general time and place) say you will call her couple hours before the general time on the day of and when you do, plan the exact time. Either do this technique or plan things for the same/next day. Other then this, all I can really tell you is to just throw her to the back of your mind, punish her for flaky behavior, and continue gaming other women edit: posted this while you posted your last one, but imo if she flakes on you again just forget about her

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Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Update, I'm going to post our exact convo here and she just said she wanted to get drinks later.. hrm.. Idk. From the point where we decided to go to dinner/movie. Me: We're going to insert restaurant name here for dinner then we'll hit up a movie. Meet me up there at 7. Her: Lol, yes sir! Bossy, I like it.. I'll see ya at 7, sharp! Her: (This was the next day which is today at 4:49) I have to cancel on u, sorry. Can we do it tomorrow instead?? Me: I'll have to check. Her: K just let me know I'm completely open tomorrow. had to drive to Indy 2day, on my way home now, but I'm beat. Me: Tomorrow night should be fine. Me: How was your trip? Her: Stupid lol. My bro had a child support issue. I think I might need a few drinks later if ur down?? Me: I might I might not. I think you just miss me haha. That's our convo so far. If you're planning to head out... tell her "I'll be at _______ at (whatever) o'clock. It'd be cool to bump in to you." You don't know if it's legit or if it was a flake at this point. Gain compliance or bounce. RR

Author:	Zepter [ Tue Jul 17, 2012 10:47 pm ]
Post subject:
You shouldve k-closed her already, that's what's going on. Attractive women meet new guys all the time. Unless you really give her something to remember you by early on, she will disspear like a fart in the wind and you'll still be wondering if she was testing you. Next time you meet her, be more sexually aggressive. RR is right, def. You can't tell if its legit, but she seems genuinely nice. But hey, all kinds of shit happens inside womens heads. Your actions are not running paralell to your words. It might be sketching her out. She said she likes it bossy (hint hint), does a boss wait for the third date to kiss a girl? Three dates is enough for some to meet, fuck, break up and fuck all over again. Just sayin man.

Author:	cg319 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:51 am ]
Post subject:
Her: lol I need a lil corey in my life tonight. for real though its beautiful out and i feel like gettin awesome (She calls drunk awesome for some reason) I'm just going to go for a K-Close and try to escalate some sexual tension and if it doesn't work out, there will be more people I'm sure. When you already have nothing with her, there's nothing to lose, only something to gain, right?

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:27 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Her: lol I need a lil corey in my life tonight. for real though its beautiful out and i feel like gettin awesome (She calls drunk awesome for some reason) I'm just going to go for a K-Close and try to escalate some sexual tension and if it doesn't work out, there will be more people I'm sure. When you already have nothing with her, there's nothing to lose, only something to gain, right? "Go Caveman. Either you get the pussy, or you get a cool rejection story..." -Mystery

Author:	Zepter [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 5:48 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Her: lol I need a lil corey in my life tonight. for real though its beautiful out and i feel like gettin awesome (She calls drunk awesome for some reason) I'm just going to go for a K-Close and try to escalate some sexual tension and if it doesn't work out, there will be more people I'm sure. When you already have nothing with her, there's nothing to lose, only something to gain, right? "Go Caveman. Either you get the pussy, or you get a cool rejection story..." -Mystery Def. Caveman at least weeds em out and you close more. I love going caveman, it let's out your inner animal. I've recently made a concious decision to do this more.

Author:	cg319 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 6:52 am ]
Post subject:
Well, we hung out all night.. we met at the bar.. we played pool, both gave eachother IoIs, we both flirted, it was pretty awesome. On the way home she dropped me off but we spent 30 minutes in the driveway and we made out, talked and what not. A k-close with a bartender is better than nothing.. working on it. a little drunk.. should probably go to sleep./

Author:	Tr@veler [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 9:49 am ]
Post subject:
Good job.

Author:	cg319 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:10 pm ]
Post subject:
I might have an obstacle to work around.. Um.. anyone ever been in this situation? These two middle aged, kind of trashy girls stopped me on my way to the SPAM (inside the bar) and said "look, we're just looking out for you.. but this girl's just giving you a ride for your money." lol what? Then they approached her and did the same thing. So last night on the way home (before the k-close) she was piss drunk and said "Idk if I'm going to talk to you again that was really weird". I tried to defuse it as best as I could, but that was fucking weird.. I've met those girls maybe twice and they're approaching this girl saying you better not take him on a ride for his money? Idk if she'll text me today or not. Idk if an apologetic text is in order or not.. I can honestly I've never been in that situation nor have I ever seen it happen. Edit: When she arrived at the bar, she dressed up, had some pretty high class perfume on, flipped her hair to the opposite direction that I was sitting and had other IOIs. She just takes time to F-Close.. I appreciate that.. it's a bartender after all who has probably dealt with and seen more guys than one can imagine.. plus she was a bartender in a big city. I'm just trying to think of a solution to the clusterfuck that the two drunk idiot middle aged women made in her mind last night. I'm sure they messed with her mind a little bit like "Idk if this is such a good idea."

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I might have an obstacle to work around.. Um.. anyone ever been in this situation? These two middle aged, kind of trashy girls stopped me on my way to the SPAM (inside the bar) and said "look, we're just looking out for you.. but this girl's just giving you a ride for your money." lol what? Then they approached her and did the same thing. So last night on the way home (before the k-close) she was piss drunk and said "Idk if I'm going to talk to you again that was really weird". I tried to defuse it as best as I could, but that was fucking weird.. I've met those girls maybe twice and they're approaching this girl saying you better not take him on a ride for his money? Idk if she'll text me today or not. Idk if an apologetic text is in order or not.. I can honestly I've never been in that situation nor have I ever seen it happen. Edit: When she arrived at the bar, she dressed up, had some pretty high class perfume on, flipped her hair to the opposite direction that I was sitting and had other IOIs. She just takes time to F-Close.. I appreciate that.. it's a bartender after all who has probably dealt with and seen more guys than one can imagine.. plus she was a bartender in a big city. I'm just trying to think of a solution to the clusterfuck that the two drunk idiot middle aged women made in her mind last night. I'm sure they messed with her mind a little bit like "Idk if this is such a good idea." Stop. Read your words. Nowhere in this paragraph do I see YOU regaining control. You have 2 women talking to a drunk bartender about hurting you? YOU remove their focus. You remove any hindrances. You politely thank the women (make them a non-issue), and then continue set. If she mentions anything about it... Then you need to deflect "Yeah... it's funny. Some bum out back said you'd be an awful in the sack, too... but I ignored him." (insert whatever off-the-wall statement you prefer if you are uncomfortable using such a sexual response). It sounds like you allowed the comments to fester in her brain, and she commented on it on the way home...After she said "Idk if I'm going to talk with you again, that was weird..." You can immediately remove her perceived control by saying "Yeah, I agree... I'm not sure I even like you." She's a hired gun. She's used to alcohol. The 2 women could be CB'ing due to losing a dude to her.That doesn't matter. What does matter is that when 3 women are talking ABOUT you, and you don't control the topic - or at least do quality damage-control after-the-fact, you undermine the set. BE the man. She gets hit on ALL THE TIME. So? You be different. You're doing well, not wanting to beat you up - just a little monday-morning QB session for you. RR

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Author:	cg319 [ Wed Jul 18, 2012 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I might have an obstacle to work around.. Um.. anyone ever been in this situation? These two middle aged, kind of trashy girls stopped me on my way to the SPAM (inside the bar) and said "look, we're just looking out for you.. but this girl's just giving you a ride for your money." lol what? Then they approached her and did the same thing. So last night on the way home (before the k-close) she was piss drunk and said "Idk if I'm going to talk to you again that was really weird". I tried to defuse it as best as I could, but that was fucking weird.. I've met those girls maybe twice and they're approaching this girl saying you better not take him on a ride for his money? Idk if she'll text me today or not. Idk if an apologetic text is in order or not.. I can honestly I've never been in that situation nor have I ever seen it happen. Edit: When she arrived at the bar, she dressed up, had some pretty high class perfume on, flipped her hair to the opposite direction that I was sitting and had other IOIs. She just takes time to F-Close.. I appreciate that.. it's a bartender after all who has probably dealt with and seen more guys than one can imagine.. plus she was a bartender in a big city. I'm just trying to think of a solution to the clusterfuck that the two drunk idiot middle aged women made in her mind last night. I'm sure they messed with her mind a little bit like "Idk if this is such a good idea." Stop. Read your words. Nowhere in this paragraph do I see YOU regaining control. You have 2 women talking to a drunk bartender about hurting you? YOU remove their focus. You remove any hindrances. You politely thank the women (make them a non-issue), and then continue set. If she mentions anything about it... Then you need to deflect "Yeah... it's funny. Some bum out back said you'd be an awful in the sack, too... but I ignored him." (insert whatever off-the-wall statement you prefer if you are uncomfortable using such a sexual response). It sounds like you allowed the comments to fester in her brain, and she commented on it on the way home...After she said "Idk if I'm going to talk with you again, that was weird..." You can immediately remove her perceived control by saying "Yeah, I agree... I'm not sure I even like you." She's a hired gun. She's used to alcohol. The 2 women could be CB'ing due to losing a dude to her.That doesn't matter. What does matter is that when 3 women are talking ABOUT you, and you don't control the topic - or at least do quality damage-control after-the-fact, you undermine the set. BE the man. She gets hit on ALL THE TIME. So? You be different. You're doing well, not wanting to beat you up - just a little monday-morning QB session for you. RR Agreed but what's happened has happened and now I need to figure out the best course of action. I'm not sure if she still wants to go to a dinner/movie tonight so I can either A: Just say "Meet me at w/e @ w/e" or B: I send her something apologetic for the drunk idiots in the bar and recommend we get away from that bar for the night. Regardless of what happened, we still K-closed and everything seemed to go well. Just gotta play it careful, never tried to game a bartender before.