PUA Forum :: Newbie here..help requested

How good of a friend was she before this happened? Seriously, a good friend wouldn't do this stuff. A good friend, when not sexually attracted, would give you the LJBF speech to try and at least be polite, not plain out ignore you and think you're a creep.

She's got problems man.

And what did YOU actually say at the point where she thought you were a creep?

I'd say you can take one of two paths. Either confront the situation directly, meaning take her aside and directly talk to her about this, or act like this never happened (which will for a while bother you but go away eventually).

I personally would confront the situation. It's not about being needy anymore, it's about being a man and setting things straight.

Close your vagina kiddo. Welcome to pickup. If she isn't being civil, don't be civil back and stop putting your "pride" on the line. It makes for a terrible player.

move on man. fuck it. why are you letting this problem get to you. what's done is done. nothing you can do. why try being friends again with someone like that? fuck that, if the girl doesnt want to,who care, theres plently of other girls out there who will be. Seems like you are overly infatuated with this girl. Just keep the convo to work related issues and thats all.

Miggy, its gets the best of us. thats why we are here to help and support you. what is it about this girl that infatuates you? Do you go out often(parties clubs) and are you engaged in hobbies or activities?

Miggy...

Hard fact: That chick you're infatuated with... dropped one of the most nastiest shits of her life within the past week.... Next time you see her - remember that. Lower her to common sense stuff - and her pedestal you created disappears...

If it's work - I'd confront her. be ready for whatever she says in return, and cut her off. Remove any reason she has to be upset. If you're good - do it in public and you remove her entire frame. She attacks, you accept it, smile, deflect it and move on... If she's THAT much of a bitch... (in group...) you can deliver "Listen, whatever it is that I did to you - I apologize. Anything I think you somehow did to me - I forgive you. can we please just put this past us and move on? I'm a positive person - this is tweaking my buzz". If she complies - you shake her hand and bounce the set then and there. If not - be a smart ass. "Well, ______ is MY friend too, so we're going to fight for him! um... in a non-gay way from my perspective, but it's on. And I'm going to give you a nickname form now on... you're always so "upbeat and cheereful"... Yeah, I'm going to call you 'Chuckles the Clown'. I got my entire office to call a bitch 'Chuckles" years ago. Fucking incredible day. I landed 2 other office chicks from it.

Bottom line: There are miserable people on this planet. You don't have to deal with them. And if you're forced to - have fun with it. Odds are - she's a bitch to everyone, not just you... and if you've tried to quell the dispute as it is - what does it matter?

RR

Quote:

Its a lust thing, nothing more.

Author:	Miggy4MVP [ Mon Jul 09, 2012 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Newbie here..help requested
Hello guys, Long and complicated story I'll try to keep short Girl I work with is a knockout... has a BF (we are actually friends) and with me being a forward guy, I guess I came on too strong to her (with flirting and joking) and she want's nothing to do with me and thinks I'm a creep. She's pretty anti-social to begin with (learned this from viewing her reactions around others) and basically ignores me when we cross paths. She will respond to me if I ask her a question but makes zero effort to ever converse with me and is very short with me when we do talk. I now realize I don't have a chance with her and have moved on BUT my pride won't let her keep ignoring me and treating me like shit. Ideally I'd like to get back to a civil/friend zone and I'd like to remedy the situation but I also don't want to make a big scene and look desperate. What do I do? I don't want to be mean and it's hard to swallow my pride and ignore her but is that how I win in the end?? Any help would be appreciated

Author:	jfp [ Mon Jul 09, 2012 8:56 pm ]
Post subject:
I would simply joke around with her. If she's exceptionally silent "I never knew you were so talkative". Things like that. If you're around her everyday she has no reason NOT to be comfortable with you... unless you really are a creep. Just work her over. Be the funny person you are and keep it to a PG level. Try not to make jokes that would make some girls cringe etc.

Author:	Javins [ Mon Jul 09, 2012 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:
Yea i agree with jfp just joke around with her in a nonthreatening PG way from time to time but make sure to keep a respectful distance and show that other people around work are comfortable with talking and joking with you. If you become the popular well-liked guy at work, she will soon see her actions are silly and eventually she will acknowledge you

Author:	Miggy4MVP [ Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:20 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks guys, Ill give it a go

Author:	Tr@veler [ Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:43 am ]
Post subject:
How good of a friend was she before this happened? Seriously, a good friend wouldn't do this stuff. A good friend, when not sexually attracted, would give you the LJBF speech to try and at least be polite, not plain out ignore you and think you're a creep. She's got problems man. And what did YOU actually say at the point where she thought you were a creep? I'd say you can take one of two paths. Either confront the situation directly, meaning take her aside and directly talk to her about this, or act like this never happened (which will for a while bother you but go away eventually). I personally would confront the situation. It's not about being needy anymore, it's about being a man and setting things straight.

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Author:	CaptainJackHarkness [ Tue Jul 10, 2012 10:26 am ]
Post subject:
Close your vagina kiddo. Welcome to pickup. If she isn't being civil, don't be civil back and stop putting your "pride" on the line. It makes for a terrible player.

Author:	Miggy4MVP [ Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:05 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: How good of a friend was she before this happened? Seriously, a good friend wouldn't do this stuff. A good friend, when not sexually attracted, would give you the LJBF speech to try and at least be polite, not plain out ignore you and think you're a creep. She's got problems man. And what did YOU actually say at the point where she thought you were a creep? I'd say you can take one of two paths. Either confront the situation directly, meaning take her aside and directly talk to her about this, or act like this never happened (which will for a while bother you but go away eventually). I personally would confront the situation. It's not about being needy anymore, it's about being a man and setting things straight. Well I never directly said anything inappropriate to her but I worked with her brother and he simply relayed a bunch of guy talk to her for reasons I will never know. After that, she thinks I am/was a creep and actually was so upset with me that her BF reported me for harrassment at work (even though it was bullshit heresay and nothing ever direct). She told the company she didn't want me to get in trouble but the company had to do it for liability reasons. This was last year. She was never a close friend but after that whole incident we went a long time without speaking. We are a little more on speaking terms now but she still shows no interest in conversing with me. She will answer me if I ask her a question but that's about it. Never anything real friendly. I have definitely moved on but I still get irritated with her attitude/closedness (word?) towards me after all this time. Ideally I'd like to get back on friendly terms if possible but I'm thinking no matter what I do it will never be that way. What should I do? Should I not be civil anymore like he said? Should I ignore her if she tries to speak to me? I'm not trying to be a player here, just trying to do the right thing for me. Sometimes I feel like I should be a dick to her for the harrassment thing but also I do feel some responsibility (no matter how petty it was).

Author:	Miggy4MVP [ Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Close your vagina kiddo. Welcome to pickup. If she isn't being civil, don't be civil back and stop putting your "pride" on the line. It makes for a terrible player. Yeah I figured that was coming...

Author:	NonStopReaper [ Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:09 am ]
Post subject:
move on man. fuck it. why are you letting this problem get to you. what's done is done. nothing you can do. why try being friends again with someone like that? fuck that, if the girl doesnt want to,who care, theres plently of other girls out there who will be. Seems like you are overly infatuated with this girl. Just keep the convo to work related issues and thats all.

Author:	Miggy4MVP [ Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:29 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: move on man. fuck it. why are you letting this problem get to you. what's done is done. nothing you can do. why try being friends again with someone like that? fuck that, if the girl doesnt want to,who care, theres plently of other girls out there who will be. Seems like you are overly infatuated with this girl. Just keep the convo to work related issues and thats all. After reading your entry, I realized that I am infatuated. I gotta get over this bitch! Thank you for your words of wisdom, they seem true and on point.

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:38 am ]
Post subject:
Miggy... Hard fact: That chick you're infatuated with... dropped one of the most nastiest shits of her life within the past week.... Next time you see her - remember that. Lower her to common sense stuff - and her pedestal you created disappears... If it's work - I'd confront her. be ready for whatever she says in return, and cut her off. Remove any reason she has to be upset. If you're good - do it in public and you remove her entire frame. She attacks, you accept it, smile, deflect it and move on... If she's THAT much of a bitch... (in group...) you can deliver "Listen, whatever it is that I did to you - I apologize. Anything I think you somehow did to me - I forgive you. can we please just put this past us and move on? I'm a positive person - this is tweaking my buzz". If she complies - you shake her hand and bounce the set then and there. If not - be a smart ass. "Well, ______ is MY friend too, so we're going to fight for him! um... in a non-gay way from my perspective, but it's on. And I'm going to give you a nickname form now on... you're always so "upbeat and cheereful"... Yeah, I'm going to call you 'Chuckles the Clown'. I got my entire office to call a bitch 'Chuckles" years ago. Fucking incredible day. I landed 2 other office chicks from it. Bottom line: There are miserable people on this planet. You don't have to deal with them. And if you're forced to - have fun with it. Odds are - she's a bitch to everyone, not just you... and if you've tried to quell the dispute as it is - what does it matter? RR

Author:	Miggy4MVP [ Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:49 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Miggy, its gets the best of us. thats why we are here to help and support you. what is it about this girl that infatuates you? Do you go out often(parties clubs) and are you engaged in hobbies or activities? Its a lust thing, nothing more.

Author:	Miggy4MVP [ Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:50 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Miggy... Hard fact: That chick you're infatuated with... dropped one of the most nastiest shits of her life within the past week.... Next time you see her - remember that. Lower her to common sense stuff - and her pedestal you created disappears... If it's work - I'd confront her. be ready for whatever she says in return, and cut her off. Remove any reason she has to be upset. If you're good - do it in public and you remove her entire frame. She attacks, you accept it, smile, deflect it and move on... If she's THAT much of a bitch... (in group...) you can deliver "Listen, whatever it is that I did to you - I apologize. Anything I think you somehow did to me - I forgive you. can we please just put this past us and move on? I'm a positive person - this is tweaking my buzz". If she complies - you shake her hand and bounce the set then and there. If not - be a smart ass. "Well, ______ is MY friend too, so we're going to fight for him! um... in a non-gay way from my perspective, but it's on. And I'm going to give you a nickname form now on... you're always so "upbeat and cheereful"... Yeah, I'm going to call you 'Chuckles the Clown'. I got my entire office to call a bitch 'Chuckles" years ago. Fucking incredible day. I landed 2 other office chicks from it. Bottom line: There are miserable people on this planet. You don't have to deal with them. And if you're forced to - have fun with it. Odds are - she's a bitch to everyone, not just you... and if you've tried to quell the dispute as it is - what does it matter? RR Thanks for your support man. I appreciate the positive energy. I will do my best to get over her...I definitely owe it to myself

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