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This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
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Author:  itisme [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 10:43 am ]
Post subject:  This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
Hey, need advice on this girl...

she's the one I invited to a party, where we talked for hours and everything seemed to work well between us until in the end she blocked me off when I tried to kiss her telling me, I was "too old". (Yeah, I know that's complete BS, even though we ARE eight years apart)




Well, we bump into each other maybe once a week at a local bar (meaning that we've met twice / three times since that party), and she's still giving me all her attention when I walk over and talk to her (although she's always there with friends...) One time I walked her home and she started telling me on the way that I should know that it would end on her doorstep... nothing really happened, we just said Good-bye and that was that.


So, yesterday, I saw her again at that bar, quickly said hello and then went to my friends (we were celebrating something)
--- when I then wanted to go and talk to her later on, she was already gone. ( -- without saying goodbye, which actually pissed me off).
A friend of hers then told me that she was inviting some people over tonight...


Thing is, I'm not really keeping contact with her at all (no phone, facebook...). I figured that running after her after she has once denied me was a pathetic thing to do...
I do get the impression that she somewhat likes me though...


So I've been thinking whether I should break my "no-contact-policy" and text her / call her...


1) What do you guys think of the whole situation?

2) Would you call her / text her? What would you say?

Cheers,
me
Author:  Tr@veler [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
She has the power here. From the get go you let her have control of the frame. If she says too old, so fucking what?

There is nothing to do here apart from move on unfortunately.

Next time you meet a girl be forward and unapologizing. You want her, so go for it.

Why do you keep walking up to this chick and not do anything? You gave her all the power.
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
Quote:
Hey, need advice on this girl...

she's the one I invited to a party, where we talked for hours and everything seemed to work well between us until in the end she blocked me off when I tried to kiss her telling me, I was "too old". (Yeah, I know that's complete BS, even though we ARE eight years apart)




Well, we bump into each other maybe once a week at a local bar (meaning that we've met twice / three times since that party), and she's still giving me all her attention when I walk over and talk to her (although she's always there with friends...) One time I walked her home and she started telling me on the way that I should know that it would end on her doorstep... nothing really happened, we just said Good-bye and that was that.


So, yesterday, I saw her again at that bar, quickly said hello and then went to my friends (we were celebrating something)
--- when I then wanted to go and talk to her later on, she was already gone. ( -- without saying goodbye, which actually pissed me off).
A friend of hers then told me that she was inviting some people over tonight...


Thing is, I'm not really keeping contact with her at all (no phone, facebook...). I figured that running after her after she has once denied me was a pathetic thing to do...
I do get the impression that she somewhat likes me though...


So I've been thinking whether I should break my "no-contact-policy" and text her / call her...


1) What do you guys think of the whole situation?

2) Would you call her / text her? What would you say?

Cheers,
me
I think you've been disrespected by this woman so much she thinks it's her job - and you allow it.

When she said "It ends at my front door" I'd ahve said "Actually it ends now - don't flatter yourself, you're far from my type." and I'd have fucking left her.

Dude, it's oneitis. You got mad because a chick who has treated you like shit didn't say goodbye? Really?

Man the fuck up.

RR
Author:  itisme [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
Quote:
Quote:
Hey, need advice on this girl...

she's the one I invited to a party, where we talked for hours and everything seemed to work well between us until in the end she blocked me off when I tried to kiss her telling me, I was "too old". (Yeah, I know that's complete BS, even though we ARE eight years apart)




Well, we bump into each other maybe once a week at a local bar (meaning that we've met twice / three times since that party), and she's still giving me all her attention when I walk over and talk to her (although she's always there with friends...) One time I walked her home and she started telling me on the way that I should know that it would end on her doorstep... nothing really happened, we just said Good-bye and that was that.


So, yesterday, I saw her again at that bar, quickly said hello and then went to my friends (we were celebrating something)
--- when I then wanted to go and talk to her later on, she was already gone. ( -- without saying goodbye, which actually pissed me off).
A friend of hers then told me that she was inviting some people over tonight...


Thing is, I'm not really keeping contact with her at all (no phone, facebook...). I figured that running after her after she has once denied me was a pathetic thing to do...
I do get the impression that she somewhat likes me though...


So I've been thinking whether I should break my "no-contact-policy" and text her / call her...


1) What do you guys think of the whole situation?

2) Would you call her / text her? What would you say?

Cheers,
me
I think you've been disrespected by this woman so much she thinks it's her job - and you allow it.

When she said "It ends at my front door" I'd ahve said "Actually it ends now - don't flatter yourself, you're far from my type." and I'd have fucking left her.

Dude, it's oneitis. You got mad because a chick who has treated you like shit didn't say goodbye? Really?

Man the fuck up.

RR
Cheers, REALLY appreciate your input.

Yeah, I dunno, I mean there's no need to be rude, especially because she also knows another friend of mine.
Thing is, when we DO talk we seem to get along pretty well. Of course, it was also not my intention to hand over all power to her...
...as I've said, I NEVER CONTACTED HER, we have actually been bumping into each other by accident.
So, speaking of "man"ing the fuck up, what WOULD be the right way of handling this situation?
(Especially since I'm certainly going to see her again pretty soon)

P.S.: I WAS pretty straight-forward with her; - I tried to kiss that one time after the party; - that was when she gave me that BS about age.
I've been doing kino ever since, but never escalated to its full potential.

So again - how to tackle this next time we see each other?
Author:  agentprovocateur [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
The age thing is bs, she's shit testing you.

She's being a bit of a cunt, I see her as leading you on you're feeding her (validation). I'd simply engage other people, women included in her presence. Don't even text her she's not worth your time. If she texts ignore it, responding at a much later time.
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 5:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
Quote:
So again - how to tackle this next time we see each other?
Now, it's about returning your own self-respect to something you can be comfortable about.

And thanks for not thinking I was being a dick - oneitis SUCKS ASS. And for me, I don't listen to shit when I have it - I need a swift kick in the balls to wake me up. I prefer the 'in your face' method when I give shitty news and when I get it.

So... for me... I'd act completely normal. Be upbeat, energetic... enjoy your friends. Act as if she doesn't fucking exist. If she says 'Hi', say hello back. Offer no reason to continue the conversation. If she continues to try and get your attention - isolate and scold. Then explain "I've allowed you to disrespect me enough. I held out hope that you actually showed promise. I was mistaken. But whatever this is that is happening here - is done. I assure you." Then smile, and walk the fuck away. If she persists - I'd tell her directly that I didn't think she was a very nice person - at all.

And... when I scold a chick, I don't cuss, I don't yell.. I lower my voice and talk very slowly. My entire intonation changes. Why? I don't like to fucking do it - it's pointless. It gets their attention though. You should be able to simply be in a club where she is - and still interact. If not - confront the issue on your terms - YOU control it.

Then fuck one of her friends... :twisted:

RR
Author:  itisme [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
Quote:


(...) And thanks for not thinking I was being a dick - (...)
On the contrary, this is EXACTLY why I joined this board.

Some of my female friends've been driving me NUTS lately, telling me outrageously gorgeous BS like
"You need to show her your romantic side" / "Call her" / [INSERT FUCKED UP CONTENT HERE]

It's funny [AND scary] how some women REALLY believe this stuff works when at the same time they very well know that it would certainly NOT work on them...
Quote:


I need a swift kick in the balls to wake me up. I prefer the 'in your face' method when I give shitty news and when I get it.
YOU NAME IT!

I'll probably go for a moderate version of what you guys suggested.
But I'll certainly show her that she's screwed up.

I won't suck up to her any longer, that's for sure...

Thanks again.
Author:  agentprovocateur [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
Quote:
Quote:


(...) And thanks for not thinking I was being a dick - (...)
On the contrary, this is EXACTLY why I joined this board.

Some of my female friends've been driving me NUTS lately, telling me outrageously gorgeous BS like
"You need to show her your romantic side" / "Call her" / [INSERT FUCKED UP CONTENT HERE]

It's funny [AND scary] how some women REALLY believe this stuff works when at the same time they very well know that it would certainly NOT work on them...
Quote:


I need a swift kick in the balls to wake me up. I prefer the 'in your face' method when I give shitty news and when I get it.
YOU NAME IT!

I'll probably go for a moderate version of what you guys suggested.
But I'll certainly show her that she's screwed up.

I won't suck up to her any longer, that's for sure...

Thanks again.
No offense, but I don't think she really cares. You can't show somebody something if you hold little weight with them. You're likely reading into there being a chance when it's very likely that she is amusing herself at your expense. I'd leave this one alone, it has fail written all over it.
Author:  jamies924 [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 6:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
I got nothing for you bro.
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Thu Jun 28, 2012 11:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
Quote:

So... for me... I'd act completely normal. Be upbeat, energetic... enjoy your friends. Act as if she doesn't fucking exist. If she says 'Hi', say hello back. Offer no reason to continue the conversation. If she continues to try and get your attention - isolate and scold. Then explain "I've allowed you to disrespect me enough. I held out hope that you actually showed promise. I was mistaken. But whatever this is that is happening here - is done. I assure you." Then smile, and walk the fuck away.

Itisme... Re-read the above dude!

Cheers.

RR
Author:  itisme [ Fri Jun 29, 2012 12:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: This chick drives me N.U.T.S.
I guess the most important thing here is to write her off.
I can pretty much see that now.

However, I guess agentprovocateur is right, you can't "punish" someone by ignoring them if they don't care much anyways.

I'm still doing this with ANOTHER girl who treated me like crap (which was partially my fault because I played along too long);
- somewhere along the line I decided to ignore that other chick every time she'd approach me to say hi.
We ended up not talking to each other AT ALL any more.
Now, every time I see her it's actually ME who feels like a loser a bit.
In her view, I probably never came to terms with her not seeing me in a romantic context.

What IS important I guess is "be upbeat, energetic" as RetiredRodeo put it.

I mean... trying to be "mean" to her by not talking to her would just show her that she has power over my emotions...

I guess the best thing is to throw in some C&F comments whenever I see her;
- but play it cool otherwise and don't engage her in any conversations / don't pay her more attention than absolutely necessary.

Does this sound plausible?
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Fri Jun 29, 2012 1:04 am ]
Post subject: 
The best way to treat this is as if it doesn't fucking matter. It never happened. These chicks who shit on you - aren't in your life if you don't want them there. If they walk back into it, you act as if they're a brand new acquaintance, or you don't allow them back into it.

It's your life - I just don't allow negative people in mine for very long before I am done with them.

You owe these women NOTHING. No commentary, no text, not even a fucking look. If they make the overture to you - then you're simply cordial as if you're talking to a complete stranger - they're a known commodity; provide them zero information OR attention. "Hi" "Bye" "Oh Damn, I need to take this call... Hello - Hey Darlin!..." whatever it takes - there is no 'win' in this - you're redefining who you are and what you tolerate...

RR
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