So I should subtly, physically escalate congruently? I guess this could work, hmm.
it is not about being convert or overt, it is emotional congruence, it is not something you do, it is a state of being, something you either are, or are not from moment to moment
if a guy walks around and tells 9/10 people he talks to, to suck his dick regardless of sex/age/ethnicity and he just says it as a saying, it is congruent for that person to tell you to suck his dick, if he is hanging out in a group of people and his catch phrase is ''hey... why don't you suck my dick'' and he says this to guys girls and everyone around, when he is hanging out with one of the girls from that group alone and starts telling her to suck his dick, this is ''congruent'' to how he has been acting, this is normal behavior, he is just being him self when he does so (please don't take this example as a routine, walking around telling people to suck your dick all the time is probably a bad idea unless you personally find it hilarious for some reasons... then by all means go have fun)
^ does this make more sense to you now?
now if you are around a girl, never touch her, never show any sexual intentions towards her, never do anything to move things forward, then eventually she forms an opinion of what is ''congruent'' for you, the longer it takes you break this perception the more ''weird'' it feels for her, because you are not being yourself, it seems more incongruent to the frame through which she perceives you, but if you can express your own frame and be more proactive then you can take control of the frame and show her what is congruent to you through the proper frame (you bring value, the girl reacts to the frame)
what ever you do, be congruent with it, the point was not, try some tactic and hope it works, the point was, stop hiding your true intentions and start expressing yourself, if she is not interested in that, remain congruent, don't be ashamed for having sexual intentions towards the girls you like, and don't be apologetic because of it, doing so, shows incongruence with your frame
for example if you tell a girl, I like you, and it is not congruent, she will challenge that frame (shit tests are also referred to as ''congruence tests''), if your frame folds and you lose congruence, the meaning behind what was said is destroyed, it holds no weight, your actions speak louder then words, if you take it back, or change your mind, or apologize, then what you said was bullshit, and it seems like bullshit from the get go cause it was incongruent to begin with (the thought behind this is if you liked her so much then you would have been more certain about it from the start and she would have felt it through your frame) you have to show girls how you feel with everything you do, not just say ''I LIKE YOU'' and expect that alone will express your feelings well enough to get the girl to react to you, it is not to get anything from the girl, it is not to get a reaction (so if you start trying to overcompensate after reading this and hitting on girls hard, it will be incongruent because you are once again seeking reactions), you just express yourself, it is not so she will fuck you, it is because that is how you feel, remain congruent to your intentions and act through them, directly communicate what you are feeling from moment to moment, hold your frame and remain certain of it, what she does in reaction is irrelevant, the fact that she is in reaction to your expression means you are on the right path, you bring value, she reacts, then you build compliance, eventually you either get non compliance or full compliance, it's just a matter of time and expression, remain congruent with your true intent (just don't go seeking reactions, because it is a paradox, once you do, you are the one reacting and you have lost congruence with what you are doing)
also as a side note, stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying more and more things that test your level of emotional security can add to your ability to remain congruent in situations in the future that involve more of the same things, if it is not congruent for you to touch girls now and make out with them at the drop of a hat, it does not necessarily mean you will not be congruent with that later in life after some life experience, mystery's old catch phrase was ''fake it till you make it'' and that was the premiss behind the MM, take what is congruent to mystery when he expresses himself and practice it until it is congruent to you, but you can't pretend to be someone else your whole life, eventually you have to find out who you are and and figure out what you want, then start expressing your own intentions based on what you truly want, you can't go around acting your whole life, eventually girls will find the incongruence and that's a great way for a girl to lose interest in you