PUA Forum :: Is it ever okay to stay friends with ex?

Moving on is easy. I already plan to make changes to myself (I had two fwb when I met her, one was even hotter) and date other women. However, I still want to keep the OPTION of her down the line, maintaining a positive view in her eyes and our mutual friends (see: social circles and college) and I don't think completely ignoring her texts/phone calls is the way to go about it. The sex was also quite awesome, so even adding her to my fwb list would be a plus.

The question here is more of a "no contact" or "limited contact" - I will heal and move on just fine either way. Even if I decide later I don't want her back, it will certainly help my wounded pride/ego if I can make her want me again. Thus, giving me back whatever power she has over me. No matter what, my primary intention right now is to better myself and regain/improve my "game" that got her in the first place.

I have been the heartbreaker in every relationship I've been in. This is new territory for me.

Thanks for the replies.

Author:	smashthecrash [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:35 am ]
Post subject:	Is it ever okay to stay friends with ex?
Was seeing this girl for a couple months, everything was great, then relationship went LDR when spring semester ended. A few weeks in, she's says it's not working and she doesn't feel like she should - and of course... wants to stay friends. Loves me... as a friend. My gut (and most of the internet) says to just no contact period. My best friend says if I want her back, then stay friendly, it worked with his ex's. Remain in contact, but step the game back up and see other women / get more of a life (obviously). He's a natural (100+, most of them gorgeous) by the way, and his advice is almost always sound. We're both 28, she's 23. She has men lining up, plus (two of) her exs just became single again and restarted contact with her. Any advice guys? This is the best I've met in years (and there's been many) and don't want to piss it away yet. Like I said, things were great before she left, I think just stress and the LDR scared her off. She will (most likely) be back in school with me in the fall, and we have many mutual friends.

Author:	agentprovocateur [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:01 am ]
Post subject:
Certainly! So long as you both are on the same page. I've been close friends iwth mine for the past 5 years (post relationship).

Author:	smashthecrash [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:19 am ]
Post subject:
Problem is we aren't on the same page. I want her back. Her reasons were exacerbated by little things and physical distance. And a new potential lover she had told me about (it was an open relationship). It does hurt to talk to her, she has trivialized the relationship (probably to cope/deal with guilt) and I want her to feel bad about it.

Author:	CaptainJackHarkness [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:20 am ]
Post subject:
Move on pal. Welcome to pickup. That's the point. So threads like this aren't created. Not to help you win over a dead ass prospect.

Author:	SexAddict911 [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:34 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Problem is we aren't on the same page. I want her back. Her reasons were exacerbated by little things and physical distance. And a new potential lover she had told me about (it was an open relationship). It does hurt to talk to her, she has trivialized the relationship (probably to cope/deal with guilt) and I want her to feel bad about it. It is one thing to become friends with an ex, but it is another to have underlying intentions, no matter how hard you will try not to show your desire to be with her, it will ring true through your unconscious, in particular your body language. It will inevitably end in your demise. It will come off as a fake friendship and end up pushing you away from her for good. If you can honestly see her as a friend only and not be affected by her present or future encounters with other men, you may have a shot down the road. It's best to forget your interest in her for now, focus on being a genuine friend. This can give her the opportunity to see the real you. Dating other women while remaining friends with her may allow her to see you in a different light. I can not stress this point enough: DO NOT MAKE FRIENDS IF YOU HAVE UNDERLYING INTENTIONS.

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Author:	smashthecrash [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 8:19 am ]
Post subject:
Moving on is easy. I already plan to make changes to myself (I had two fwb when I met her, one was even hotter) and date other women. However, I still want to keep the OPTION of her down the line, maintaining a positive view in her eyes and our mutual friends (see: social circles and college) and I don't think completely ignoring her texts/phone calls is the way to go about it. The sex was also quite awesome, so even adding her to my fwb list would be a plus. The question here is more of a "no contact" or "limited contact" - I will heal and move on just fine either way. Even if I decide later I don't want her back, it will certainly help my wounded pride/ego if I can make her want me again. Thus, giving me back whatever power she has over me. No matter what, my primary intention right now is to better myself and regain/improve my "game" that got her in the first place. I have been the heartbreaker in every relationship I've been in. This is new territory for me. Thanks for the replies.

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