| PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Getting her back after disrespecting her? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=137453 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | smashthecrash [ Sun Jun 03, 2012 10:20 am ] |
| Post subject: | Getting her back after disrespecting her? |
EDIT: I figured it out mostly. I got comfortable. Classes ended, so my life got less interesting while hers got more. I got needy and jealous. She actually texted me as I started writing this with "You ok?" and I was tempted to ignore it, but I will go back to push pull. Still... need advice here. I don't want to play mind games or do something retarded, but I don't want to be a chump either. There's a lot of conflicting advice out there... and they all vary by situation. I have been in a LDR with this woman for a few months. Last night she calls me saying it's "not working" and she doesn't "feel that way" anymore. She wanted to still be friends, admitting she still has feelings for me but they are not strong enough for a relationship. But I reminded her that she forced the "friends or relationship" decision on me during her last visit, and now that the bridge has been crossed there is no going back. We talked for a good hour, and the call ended with us both quite upset but accepting the fact she didn't want to continue. So what happened? About a month ago, on her last visit (first week of May) I fucked it up. Enter Plan B - the pill. I suggested it so we could try and orgasm at the same time, but she was concerned about the hormonal effects as she doesn't do well with regular birth control. Of course, in the "heat of the moment" I made the decision for her... stupid, I know. The sex was certainly memorable for both of us at least. Turns out she DID have a crazy reaction - a 2+ week period (!) and to this I felt like total garbage and tried my best to apologize to her and promise to make it up next time I saw her. Obviously, I didn't get a chance. Until very recently, it seemed she had accepted my apology, but I guess not. I didn't even realize how stupid I was until the phone call. I have never really been dumped before, and personally I believe the LDR factors coupled with increased stress in all areas of her life (including coming off antidepressants...) are scaring her off. See backstory. Her last visit she was head over heels, and caught herself almost saying the "L" word, so I knew I was doing something right until this event. Of course, she could just be fucking too insane to even bother with, but I don't want to give up that easily. I can see how I was AFCing the crap out of her at the end, so I'll need some time to get her to miss me. But how to re-establish contact, and how long? Our only plans right now are a musical festival in July, which I could probably still take her "as a friend" but I feel like as soon as I agree to just be friends I'll be friend zoned for eternity. I made it very clear I will not settle for that. ------------ SEMANTICS/BACKSTORY - she has an abusive, controlling mother. After her last isit, she did something wrong which caused her to be "grounded" limiting her cell phone contact with me and indefinitely postponing future visits until next early June, when mom was leaving for the summer. I'm 28, she's 23. Yes, she's legally crazy. So am I. She's got tons of issues, and her mother financially controls her. Even her therapist says her mother is the main cause of her stress. She's supposed to come back to my college in the fall (it's her school as well) so that's why we agreed to the LDR. Her mother has also threatened to cut her off, and she wouldn't be able to return to school. Huge stressor right there. We also met in person a few times years ago, but we were in different relationships and hardly knew each other. We reconnected beginning of March, and hit it off instantly. Since starting PUA back in November, my success with women has gotten much better - this is just the first one worth dating and not just fwb/fb. |
|
| Author: | CaptainJackHarkness [ Sun Jun 03, 2012 8:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
....I read that whole thing. I think unless you can financially support this girl or if she is willing to leave her mother, there's not jack shit you can realistically do because she's living under mommies orders. Most girls, as least discussed, to some level at that age still live under their parent's grasp or influence. Women aren't shallow but just as we want women with quality standards, they want to find a guy in terms of LONG TERM values that they can 'present' / show-off to their peers, etc to for some form of social validation from their inner circle. Usually women 24+ are more independent, but even they do fall into the victim of proving who they are to some random authority in terms of friends, and family. But that's the name of the game. You're 28 and she's 23 and to force the decision of the pill on her was obviously not a wise thing of you. I would have exercised more control, but it's clear you are new to the game and had the knickers in a knot for this one girl probably because you feared it ending or not getting more elsewhere. In any case, I call this one a lost cause or just a bunch of drama in a relationship that realistically long-term won't work out because there's things she is not willing to fuck up just for you. And I'm sure this is vice-versa as well. |
|
| Author: | smashthecrash [ Mon Jun 04, 2012 3:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the reply. Yeah, lost cause it what it seems to me. I wouldn't know to rekindle the fire if she claims it was never there in the first place. How would you have exercised more control in that situation? As far the the long term value thing, I thought I was doing well there since my first visit to her I got along with her younger sister (her closest family member), something she said was a big deal and that her dates rarely do. Her co-workers and friends also fawned over me. In her words, she had been evaluating our relationship and decided it was not "earth shattering magnetic" as it should be. Message to me? Back to the drawing board of attraction. Also, after our text conversations today, I realize anything besides no contact is just digging my own grave. Live and learn I guess. |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|