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What should I have done, what can I do?
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Author:  laRouche [ Tue May 29, 2012 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  What should I have done, what can I do?
IoI
I was at a beach party over the weekend and was trying to sarge this girl; we were standing around a fire and long story short she ended up showing me how to make a smore. I was doing a little kino and I thought the way she was helping me make the smore was an IoI. I've recently been reading the Gunwitch method and when there were lulls in conversation I let them be, but I think I started to lose her interest in doing this.

Don't eject from the convo
Then, I committed what I think was a cardinal sin, I ejected from the conversation; basically, my buddy had gone back to the tent, so I didn't really have anywhere to turn when the conversation was in a lull, so I couldn't remove myself just a little bit, and then get back into convo with her.


I saw some other guy chatting to her, but wasn't sure how far he was getting.
A while later I passed her and her friend asked them if they were going to do an activity, but they said they were going to stay where they were. The other guy was there, he was trying to AMOG me, but I was kind of dismissive of him.

re-engage
I noticed that he managed to isolate her - they went for a walk to the shop - they came back, but then he disappeared for a while; then I saw some other guy go over and chat to her, and her friend, but he left after a while. I then decided to go back and try to work the sarge again; I asked if I could sit beside them - AFC, I know - they said yes; I told her I was looking for more smores, and she told me that I couldn't replace them [as smore makers] and I agreed - should have made more of that; I told her that she was very passionate when she was talking about making smores, and she said she was passionate about food; I asked her friend what he passion was and she said traveling.

DLV
The HB I was trying to sarge then asked me what my passion was; I think I really DLV'd here though; the first thing I could think of was in relation to my interest in spirituality, so I said that I was interested in learning more about myself - not in a self-centred kind of way; she summarised it as being interested in "growing" which she said she "could respect"; it wasn't long after that they ejected to "go to the bathroom", but didn't actually go to the bathroom I don't think.



What could I have done
How could I have answered the "passion" question better. I was thinking that I could have said that I was passionate about enjoying life and learning as much as I can from it. I have an interest in science and spirituality, but wouldn't really say I'm passionate about either. Any tips?


Routines
One thing I have trouble with is what to talk about; I find that I run out of things to say and then try too hard to think about things; I find it difficult not to slip into the "20 questions" mode. Any suggestions or tips on what kind of routines that might be useful to learn, or where to look for pointers on how to avoid just asking questions?



What can I do now?
I'm back in my home town, she's back in her home town - mile from each other; she lives in a city that I would visit regularly on weekends though. I can get her FB profile from the event page on FB, but I know that could come across very needy or desparate, especially seeing as I only got her first name, and she didn't give me her FB details.

Is there anyway of working it to try and get something from the situation.



It isn't really a case of one-itis, although it is just a different side of the same coin; she was pretty cute and I'm pissed I managed to fuck it up, so I'd like to get something out of it.

Any ideas?


Cheers guys.
Author:  CaptainJackHarkness [ Tue May 29, 2012 1:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Rule #1

Don't look for IOI's.

Rule # 2

Be a man and act according to your own intentions. I've kissed girls literally just saying "hey there" and they are so turned on as a result. It's all good emotions, ur not trying to creep her out or TRYING to fuck with her head. It's just genuine authenticity of interactions

Rule # 3

If you eject, it's fine. Nothing is 100% I personally would have said anything. I just avoid topics of cars, money, and technology. Simply these things. Everything else, past relationships, etc = fair game.

Rule # 4

Risk losing the girl. RISK losing her forever, and wow will you see results.

Rule # 5

Stop fucking worrying about DLV's DHVs all this bullshit. Fuck her mind then her body as SexAddict says...I'm taking this out of his text-game reference. In any case, you show her MAN TO WOMAN, you show her INTENT, and then you fuck her body.

The woman plays coy, hard to get, difficult, etc but you hold to your fucking guns.

If she says no a 5th, 6th time - move on.

Welcome to Game.
Author:  laRouche [ Tue May 29, 2012 4:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Cheers for the reply CJH
Quote:
Rule #1

Don't look for IOI's.
I generally don't look for them, although I might sometimes notice them; it was only on reflection that I considered her actions to be an IoI.

I mentioned it because I thought it might be information that could be requested - it's the kind of thing that used to come up when I posted on here a few years ago.

Quote:
Rule # 2

Be a man and act according to your own intentions. I've kissed girls literally just saying "hey there" and they are so turned on as a result. It's all good emotions, ur not trying to creep her out or TRYING to fuck with her head. It's just genuine authenticity of interactions
I understand what you are saying in principle, but when it comes to interacting with women it is inevitable that old conditioning is going to rise to the surface; old habits die hard and all that. Unfortunately the old conditioning is very much AFC, so I need to try and break that.

Like you say, I don't want to fuck with her head, I just want to be able to relax and enjoy her company; but I find that I lapse into just asking questions which we both, inevitably, find boring.

I think I need to familiarise myself with a few different techniques about keeping conversation less sterile, so that I can start using these and then internalise them so they become more natural - would you have any recommendations in that regard?

Quote:
Rule # 3

If you eject, it's fine. Nothing is 100% I personally would have said anything. I just avoid topics of cars, money, and technology. Simply these things. Everything else, past relationships, etc = fair game.
Cheers. I was thinking it was probably better to eject at the time, than stand around with nothing to say, while my mates were all elsewhere.

When chatting with the girl, I presume you don't fall into the habit of just asking questions, but have a more natural approach - any tips in that regard?

Quote:
Rule # 4

Risk losing the girl. RISK losing her forever, and wow will you see results.
Cheers, I've come across this idea before, and will have to try and put it into practice a bit more effectively.
Quote:
Rule # 5

Stop fucking worrying about DLV's DHVs all this bullshit. Fuck her mind then her body as SexAddict says...I'm taking this out of his text-game reference. In any case, you show her MAN TO WOMAN, you show her INTENT, and then you fuck her body.

The woman plays coy, hard to get, difficult, etc but you hold to your fucking guns.

If she says no a 5th, 6th time - move on.

Welcome to Game.
I generally don't worry about those things; I've been reading the Gunwitch method which doesn't refer to any of those, but I just included it because it is the kind of terminology I became accustomed to when I was posting on here the last time.

Like I say, I generally don't worry about them, but, essentially, I think the answer that I gave did come across as being AFC i.e. it demonstrated lower value than a different answer would have, perhaps.


I like what you say about showing MAN to WOMAN, and that is a mindset I want to try and adopt; even just reading it helps to gain some insight; I'm hoping that by reading a lot of what's on here that I can assimilate some of it and then apply it in the field more naturally.



Cheers for the reply.
Author:  0uch [ Tue May 29, 2012 6:27 am ]
Post subject: 
You lost her when you ejected. Some other guy stole her buying temperature that you built. Game over for you, but for him, bonus points on his approach.

Don't worry about IOI or IOD. From here, all you had to do is keep the convo going and kino. Even a boring conversation would have been good if you kino properly.
Author:  Riter [ Tue May 29, 2012 6:39 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"You are only going to run as far as you are willing to walk." - Michael (Captain Jack Harkness)
Wow, just amazing and fuckin inspirational.
Author:  rhythmic02 [ Tue May 29, 2012 6:58 am ]
Post subject: 
To me (and I'm fairly new to this so don't take that much notice) the major thing you did wrong was moving too slow. You have to show her that you're sexually interested right from the start but in a subtle way so that she's not consciously aware of it. Then you look for any subconscious reactions to let you know to escalate or not.
Author:  laRouche [ Tue May 29, 2012 11:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You lost her when you ejected. Some other guy stole her buying temperature that you built. Game over for you, but for him, bonus points on his approach.

Don't worry about IOI or IOD. From here, all you had to do is keep the convo going and kino. Even a boring conversation would have been good if you kino properly.
That's what I was beating myself up for afterwards.

I need to brush up on techniques for keeping a conversation going I think.



Should I just let the whole thing go, or do you think it would be possible to salvage something by contacting her on facebook; bearing in mind that she didn't give me her details. I can get her FB details from the event page of the event, but that could come across as very stalker-ish; is there a way that that could be done right?
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