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leading a group of 5+
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Author:  the_noob123 [ Wed May 23, 2012 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  leading a group of 5+
im a guy who recently got into pua . im ok-ish with one on ones
But im going out with alot girls now to build my comfort levels, on my own and im struggling to be the leader
i understand how important it is to be the leader and i want to work on it
The one thing iv noticed and loved is the attention from other girls its awsome
but my opening is poor

So folks the question is how can i lead them without them disregarding me
Author:  DJ_Z [ Wed May 23, 2012 2:19 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm kinda introverted by nature, so I've had the same problem, too. Thing is, you don't have to always be talking to everybody in the group at once. If there's like nine of you, there are probably a few different conversatiosn going on at any one moment. As for being a leader...meh if you're in the group with girls you don't really need to do that. It'd be smarter to focus on getting the one you want away from the others. Leadership is overrated, you can't always be in charge.
Author:  the_noob123 [ Wed May 23, 2012 2:49 am ]
Post subject: 
that was actually really understandable thank you . the thing is today i went out evrything was good my freinds got some of their freinds which was good for me to
pratice my game more, you know new people n all that. the girls insisted on going to the park which was cool with me . the thing was where they sat there was a group of dudes playin football and because i was the only male in the group of six i didnt want
to go there cuz of steriotypes so i went and did something else for half hour on my own and i been questoning if i did the right thing or not????
Author:  EddieFews [ Wed May 23, 2012 3:32 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm a bit OCD with leadership, its something in my childhood that im still working on I guess, but when in a group im always engaging the entire group with jokes and stories. I'm talking about the girl i just tried to pick up while on the way to meet them up, the cool guy I met on the train or the stupid shit I did the other night. It just a charisma thing, I enjoy being the center of attention and just make a point to be that the majority of the time.

However, everyone isn't cut out to be a leader bro, if everyone was a leader they're would be no followers. Its a huge responsibility and a bit stressful at times, the guys around you will begin to dress and behave like you and depend on you for help a little too much at times.

The grass is not always greener on the other side ;)
Author:  Smoke20 [ Wed May 23, 2012 4:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Build character.

Get this part down and leadership will just happen automatically.

You really don't have to talk much to lead a group. Instead, think of it like this:

1. You have a genuine interest in the individuals of your group and endeavor to bond with everyone. You value their well-being and their best interests.
2. You assume a certain level of responsibility. You're always mindful of what a good decision could be at any given point, and you consider everyone in the group as you're doing this.
3. You're aware of your surroundings and logistics.

Notice at no point did I say anything about taking the initiative. You'll simply end up with the role by virtue of being competent.

You don't need the role, you never wrestle someone for it - unless it's playful and you're doing it for a laugh. Why would you? Don't imagine you'll be doing 100% of the decision making either. Let's face it, that would simultaneously drive you insane, cut you off from valuable feedback, and rob the other individuals of the opportunity to contribute. Which is incredibly valuable.

Basically, when you genuinely agree that their idea is better, or that the group consensus already strongly favors a certain initiative, that's when you know it's good to let that someone else take the lead.

Pay zero attention to "how much" you're leading. The key terms here are responsibility, maturity and the best interests of everyone.
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