PUA Forum :: Oneitis - is it such a bad thing?

It makes great stories, because most people can relate to it. Also, people like misery, and people like a tale of true love.

Thing is, it's not real. 'Star crossed lovers' in the Romeo and Juliet sense (I don't know any Marvin Gaye songs so can't comment), just isn't how the real world works. There isn't one girl and one guy that are meant to be and it's written in the stars. Remember as well that Romeo and Juliet both actually loved each other (well, as much as fictional 14 year olds can do) and were kept apart by their families. Most 'oneitis' stories on here that end up bad are more about unrequited love. It's also worth remembering that whilst the play is one of, if not the, most famous play ever written, both Romeo and Juliet kill themselves. Now, as good a literary function 'oneitis' might play, I'd probably prefer not to kill myself over a girl who doesn't love me back!

Great for stories, not so great for real life.

Love, even at its highest forms, can exist without Oneitis. Oneitis is more about psychological dependency, an obsessive form of love. Love stories and love songs are idealizations, saying Oneitis should exist just for their sake is like saying violence should exist for the sake of action movies.

On top of this, you must realize that most of the men who sing about Oneitis don't actually suffer from it. In fact, many of them are womanizers. But that's exactly what a girl wants. The fantasy of deep, epic love; contrasted and combined with gritty asshole game.

think back to times in your life where someone thought you were really cool and wanted to hang out with you all the time, except chances are they were not cool themselves just sort of ass kiss and boring to be around, did you admire those people or want to be serious friends with them and hang out all the time?, that was neediness that was turning you off, that guy/girl had ''oneitis'' for you

Author:	daffy duck [ Sat May 19, 2012 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Oneitis - is it such a bad thing?
Can you imagine a world without Marvin Gaye or Romeo and Juliet? What kind of a world would this be without Oneitis??? [/youtube]

Author:	daffy duck [ Sat May 19, 2012 11:45 pm ]
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not to mention this guy: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAOxCqSxRD0tube] ^ Chris Isaak - Wicked Game - severe Oneitis going on there...

Author:	agentprovocateur [ Sat May 19, 2012 11:47 pm ]
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it's only a bad thing if you cant get your Onenittis. If you keep your emotions in check (being non-reactive), persistant, and able to operate from a sexual frame (e.g. escalate sexually), you can get your Onenittis. If, on the other hand, she has no attraction to you whatsoever, you'd better walk instead of sticking around to experience a world of hurt.

Author:	daffy duck [ Sat May 19, 2012 11:51 pm ]
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yes, but my point being listen to those songs. they never get their Oneitis. its heartbreaking. but how great are those songs. or stories???? imagine if romeo got it together with juliet? how lame would that be???

Author:	agentprovocateur [ Sat May 19, 2012 11:56 pm ]
Post subject:
Dunno, don't really care enough to think about it to be honest.

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Oneitis - is it such a bad thing? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=136338	Page 1 of 2

Author:	daffy duck [ Sun May 20, 2012 12:02 am ]
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You cared enough to respond. Lol.

Author:	seasquare [ Sun May 20, 2012 12:21 am ]
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In my opinion those romantic stories are too idealistic. The problem with oneitis is if things don't work out it means limiting your own opportunities. Perhaps then it is something that most often hurts the most committed person?

Author:	7000 [ Sun May 20, 2012 12:22 am ]
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It makes great stories, because most people can relate to it. Also, people like misery, and people like a tale of true love. Thing is, it's not real. 'Star crossed lovers' in the Romeo and Juliet sense (I don't know any Marvin Gaye songs so can't comment), just isn't how the real world works. There isn't one girl and one guy that are meant to be and it's written in the stars. Remember as well that Romeo and Juliet both actually loved each other (well, as much as fictional 14 year olds can do) and were kept apart by their families. Most 'oneitis' stories on here that end up bad are more about unrequited love. It's also worth remembering that whilst the play is one of, if not the, most famous play ever written, both Romeo and Juliet kill themselves. Now, as good a literary function 'oneitis' might play, I'd probably prefer not to kill myself over a girl who doesn't love me back! Great for stories, not so great for real life.

Author:	daffy duck [ Sun May 20, 2012 12:26 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: It makes great stories, because most people can relate to it. Also, people like misery, and people like a tale of true love. Thing is, it's not real. 'Star crossed lovers' in the Romeo and Juliet sense (I don't know any Marvin Gaye songs so can't comment), just isn't how the real world works. There isn't one girl and one guy that are meant to be and it's written in the stars. Remember as well that Romeo and Juliet both actually loved each other (well, as much as fictional 14 year olds can do) and were kept apart by their families. Most 'oneitis' stories on here that end up bad are more about unrequited love. It's also worth remembering that whilst the play is one of, if not the, most famous play ever written, both Romeo and Juliet kill themselves. Now, as good a literary function 'oneitis' might play, I'd probably prefer not to kill myself over a girl who doesn't love me back! Great for stories, not so great for real life. David Lynch's Mullholand Drive - severe Oneitis about unrequited love... Art imitates life and as a result life imitates art.....

Author:	MonkeyKing88 [ Sun May 20, 2012 1:16 am ]
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..Ahhh... Oneitis.. Just that word brings a slap to my face.

Author:	7000 [ Sun May 20, 2012 1:38 am ]
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I don't think life imitates anything. I think life is whatever you make it. I think once you've been in a situation where you "love" someone who doesn't feel the same back, and you then snap out of it and realise that actually she wasn't the be all and end all in the first place, you are less likely to slip into such a thing again. As far back as the ancient Greeks we've got surviving records of unrequited love being a noble thing. You love a girl who won't ever love you back, but you still love her regardless; is there any form of love more pure and selfless than that which you give with no expectation of receiving in return? Again - all good for stories, it's what people enjoy to read or hear about. But let's be honest, who wants that to happen to them? Selfless and pure is all great until you realise that actually you could be having fun and games with someone else. And even if that's less of a good story for someone else to hear about, I'm more interested in my own happiness than giving someone something heartbreakingly romantic and "noble" to sink their teeth into. As I said, life is what you make of it. Leave the unrequited love and the oneitis in the story books, then everyone's happy - you get another girl and some happiness, and other people get to read about the unrequited love of someone else!

Author:	Hakuna [ Sun May 20, 2012 1:49 am ]
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Love, even at its highest forms, can exist without Oneitis. Oneitis is more about psychological dependency, an obsessive form of love. Love stories and love songs are idealizations, saying Oneitis should exist just for their sake is like saying violence should exist for the sake of action movies. On top of this, you must realize that most of the men who sing about Oneitis don't actually suffer from it. In fact, many of them are womanizers. But that's exactly what a girl wants. The fantasy of deep, epic love; contrasted and combined with gritty asshole game.

Author:	daffy duck [ Sun May 20, 2012 2:06 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Love, even at its highest forms, can exist without Oneitis. Oneitis is more about psychological dependency, an obsessive form of love. Love stories and love songs are idealizations, saying Oneitis should exist just for their sake is like saying violence should exist for the sake of action movies. On top of this, you must realize that most of the men who sing about Oneitis don't actually suffer from it. In fact, many of them are womanizers. But that's exactly what a girl wants. The fantasy of deep, epic love; contrasted and combined with gritty asshole game. I think you hit the nail on the metaphorical head....

Author:	pumpington [ Sun May 20, 2012 7:02 am ]
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oneitis is a terrible thing, caring about someone isn't, being obsesive, needy and desperate for someones approval, is a bad thing it prevents guys from escalating out of fear of losing the girl, it prevents them from being them selves and saying what they want to let their charm and charisma flow out due to being afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, it makes guys do stupid shit to try to get reactions (overnegging, compliments, routines) that come from a frame of approval seeking or emotional reactivity, it is simply neediness at it's finest, anti-charm, the kiss of death for all those trying to pick up women overall, neediness is terrible and will only fuck up your ability to be likable, it is just like being super depressed all the time, no one wants to hang out with eeyore from winnie the pooh, just like no one wants to hang out with a seemingly desperate person that wants nothing to do but leech off your pressence like you are a god or something think back to times in your life where someone thought you were really cool and wanted to hang out with you all the time, except chances are they were not cool themselves just sort of ass kiss and boring to be around, did you admire those people or want to be serious friends with them and hang out all the time?, that was neediness that was turning you off, that guy/girl had ''oneitis'' for you also, IMO, if you get your oneitis, chances are if it is truely a oneitis, you will lose her, neediness is just simply not attractive to most, unless you have some sort of low self esteem issues and need someone clinging to you dependant on your approval and attention [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY[/youtube]

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Author:	safety [ Sun May 20, 2012 9:08 am ]
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Quote: think back to times in your life where someone thought you were really cool and wanted to hang out with you all the time, except chances are they were not cool themselves just sort of ass kiss and boring to be around, did you admire those people or want to be serious friends with them and hang out all the time?, that was neediness that was turning you off, that guy/girl had ''oneitis'' for you i literally had this thought occur to me last night while i was hanging out with a guy whom i consider a friend. but then i really started thinking about it and realised how often hed message me and ask what im up to etc when i really only hang out with him when i want something from him or if my other friends are busy... -sorry to jack your post but just quickly would you use abundance to prevent yourself from coming off this way toward girls?