PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Extremely shy girl with social anxiety
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=136322		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  seasquare [ Sat May 19, 2012 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Extremely shy girl with social anxiety
Does anyone have experience/advice with girls like this?

Personality/Life:
-Severe social anxiety, freezes up with strangers
-Very shy personality
-Almost no experience dating
-Can barely hold a conversation in person
-Has no friends at school

It's quite a challenge and I'm starting to wonder if it's even possible to get to know her.

Disinterest:
-She pulls back from social touch sometimes
-Can barely maintain contact for more than a second
-Won't take off her jacket even if it's extremely hot (but will if I relax the environment)
-When walking at a park she will maintain a distance of 2-3 feet
-Some displays of closed body language

Interest/Compliance:
-She will follow me anywhere even if I take her to my house and I make it look like were trespassing
-If I pull her back in when she distances herself, she doesn't resist
-Asked me what my ideal girl was (qualification?)
-Isn't bothered by me brushing up against her
-Very accommodating even if I arrive 45 minutes late, she never flakes
-Becomes more open when not in a verbal conversation

Summary: I don't really know if she's just overly nice out of fear of judgement, or just stuck in anxiety. She's an attractive girl 7-8 but I feel like I'm trying to besiege a citadel here or might end up her social anxiety therapist.
Author:  Defy [ Sat May 19, 2012 7:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
One question: Why do you want to have these kinda girls in your life?

The truth is, world is full of retards. Male and female. Sorry if I am using harsh words, but to me someone who is not using his/hers potential and is hiding away from real life is a fucking retard.

Get away from this girl. You can do better.

What I like to do nowdays to these girls is to sleep with them (or try to sleep with them) and don't call them again. I mean, when she doesn't respect her how and why should I respect her? And it always boggles me when I meet a girl who is 7 or 7,5 and is like this.
Author:  seasquare [ Sun May 20, 2012 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
One question: Why do you want to have these kinda girls in your life?
Good question. It could range anywhere from altruism, challenge or wanting to relate to them on a certain level.
From an LTR respective I like their sense of sincerity, innocence, niceness and limited ability to be lured away.

I agree it'd make be easier to walkaway but I like to give challenges a shot.
Author:  titanman [ Sun May 20, 2012 2:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
One question: Why do you want to have these kinda girls in your life?

The truth is, world is full of retards. Male and female. Sorry if I am using harsh words, but to me someone who is not using his/hers potential and is hiding away from real life is a fucking retard.

Get away from this girl. You can do better.
Stole the words out of my mouth.

Why on earth people go for women with no personality is beyond me. Wasting your time.
Author:  unknownpoet [ Sun May 20, 2012 10:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Why on earth people go for women with no personality is beyond me. Wasting your time.
because... wow nice boobs.
Author:  Netsky [ Tue May 22, 2012 5:44 am ]
Post subject: 
I understand exactly how you feel... If you read my previous posts of concern you would think i spoke with the same woman. I felt the same way you did about why you still talk to her even if you can do better.

I mainly enjoyed the innocence and the curiosity of what she can potentially be If I broke her out of her shell. I rarely believe people have no personality. Everyone is obviously unique in their own way and when I take interest in an attractive women I pursue until I've decided I can't get through to her (I.E. give up) or I try not to stay in it for too long if I don't see changes. This creates a what should have been an avoidable situation by breaking it off with her long ago... and now it just became that much harder because emotions grow stronger through time

In my opinion... continue to pursue and be very assertive because she won't, while building rapport and see if she opens up a bit. If she doesn't pull back a little bit and see if she opens up then. Usually shy women will fear losing something great they had and will show little glimpses of change.

If none of those work, she needs time to grow the fuck up and please don't wait around. You already wasted enough time but satisfying your pathological need to help is respectable in an altruistic religious sense.
Author:  EddieFews [ Tue May 22, 2012 8:29 am ]
Post subject: 
You are aware that you will become like the people you surround yourself with correct?

If you aren't just like her already, in which this is why you can create such a vivid description
Author:  titanman [ Tue May 22, 2012 11:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Why on earth people go for women with no personality is beyond me. Wasting your time.
because... wow nice boobs.
Well that just proves your mindset is wrong.

You should be looking for girls based on both their looks and personality. You have to see yourself as a catch and someone who deserves the best. So a girl with nice boobs wouldn't cut it for you, she needs to bring more to the table.

You're just focussed on one good thing about her and because that one good thing is part of her looks you're then thinking and worrying about the outcome (sex) to get to experience the only good thing about her.

Girls that bring more to the table have more going for them which you can enjoy without having it to be something superficial.
Author:  unknownpoet [ Tue May 22, 2012 1:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Why on earth people go for women with no personality is beyond me. Wasting your time.
because... wow nice boobs.
Well that just proves your mindset is wrong.
It proves nothing. Who said that was MY mindset?! I was being ironic and generalizing. That's usually what most men think.
I'm not in that group.
Author:  Eternal-Water [ Tue May 22, 2012 1:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Stole the words out of my mouth.

Why on earth people go for women with no personality is beyond me. Wasting your time.
90% of them?
Author:  Netsky [ Tue May 22, 2012 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You are aware that you will become like the people you surround yourself with correct?

If you aren't just like her already, in which this is why you can create such a vivid description
Well, I was once like her... Females like that are the male versions of some of us who were pathetic at talking to the opposite sex or even being social uncalibrated with society. I see who I am today and compare it to who I was 2 years ago and see the total difference. I have an amazing personality but if you met me 2 years ago you wouldn't see that side of me because I sucked at displaying my best self to people at all times. The process of becoming better with females helped teach me to bring that out.

So, in a sense, I sympathize with them and give them a chance. Even though I was pathetic 2 years ago I had experiences with amazing women who gave me chances and that made me that much more determined to change when I lost them because I knew the problem. I'm 100% if those women in my past saw me today they wouldn't think twice about talking to me again. They had an influence on me, so why not give back?

I will say this though, I was 18 two years ago and started exploring my inner self around then. If you're speaking to women who are about 25-30 I think it's too late for you to try and help who she is. She needs serious help but since the girls I talk to are 18-21 this creates a different scenario.
Author:  eagernovice [ Tue May 22, 2012 7:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
You are aware that you will become like the people you surround yourself with correct?

If you aren't just like her already, in which this is why you can create such a vivid description
Well, I was once like her... Females like that are the male versions of some of us who were pathetic at talking to the opposite sex or even being social uncalibrated with society. I see who I am today and compare it to who I was 2 years ago and see the total difference. I have an amazing personality but if you met me 2 years ago you wouldn't see that side of me because I sucked at displaying my best self to people at all times. The process of becoming better with females helped teach me to bring that out.

So, in a sense, I sympathize with them and give them a chance. Even though I was pathetic 2 years ago I had experiences with amazing women who gave me chances and that made me that much more determined to change when I lost them because I knew the problem. I'm 100% if those women in my past saw me today they wouldn't think twice about talking to me again. They had an influence on me, so why not give back?

I will say this though, I was 18 two years ago and started exploring my inner self around then. If you're speaking to women who are about 25-30 I think it's too late for you to try and help who she is. She needs serious help but since the girls I talk to are 18-21 this creates a different scenario.
Agree.
To people who are advising you to completely ignore her:
The biggest FUCKING difference between humans and animals is compassion.
A human who can think of nobody else but himself is no better than an animal.
Of course there is a limit to your involvement.
Author:  seasquare [ Wed May 23, 2012 1:10 am ]
Post subject: 
I know I didn't mention her good points but some of you guys make her sound like a terrible person. She has a kind and curious personality but she has trouble expressing it and I felt a bit of sympathy, that's all.
Quote:
If you're speaking to women who are about 25-30 I think it's too late for you to try and help who she is. She needs serious help but since the girls I talk to are 18-21 this creates a different scenario.
So if she's 20, it's a different story?

Maybe I'm over-thinking and got a temptation to fix her, or this is just my inexperience (comparing people to my ex). Perhaps it's more work than it's worth.

I've already started ignoring her since I have academics in the way. Due to school I didn't have time to see her more than once a week anyways.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/