PUA Forum :: Stopping a PUA from stealing your date without being an ass

I was out on a first date with a hb9 I had met through an online dating site and I took her to a couple bars that were within walking distance of her house. Everywhere we went, guys were interrupting us and trying to butt in. Most were pathetic and gave us both a good laugh and were easy enough to dismiss, but when two PUAs moved in, I felt pretty defenseless.

We were playing shuffleboard and they positioned themselves so they could talk to her as she moved from one end of the table to the other. I didn't see how they opened, but in the 10 seconds that she had talked to them before I got there, she was completely engaged and laughing. I knew exactly what was going on, and everything they wore, did, and said screamed PUA, but she ate all of it up. They were very welcoming and friendly to me, including me in conversation and not trying to isolate her. I would talk to her and position myself so she had to turn her back to them to talk to me, but the PUA would grab her arm and wheel her around and back into their area and start a new conversation thread that she would find very engaging. They were able to get her number via having her text them a photo she took with her phone of them.

In the last year, my confident cocky nice guy approach has let me be with 40 girls, but was completely incompatible with diffusing this situation. The only thing I could do to get her away from the PUAs was to venue change to another bar. I was able to fc her at the end of the night, but don't wan't to ever be in that situation again where a PUA is able to game my date right in front of me. How can I stop that without coming off as a complete anti-social asshole?

Why did you take your date to a bar?

Ive been in situations like that and it usually doesnt matter unless they venue change with her or isolate (if in a high energy environment). If they are cool and respectful, then it should be fine.

If they get her number and/or meet later on, it wouldnt matter if you are just fucking her.

If they get her number and they meet later on, it means shes not gf material if you were plannng on taking her seriously.

No need to stress.

Why did you take your date to a bar?

Without being rude simple say something like. Excuse me man, introduce yourself and place yourself right in between your date and him,( or even put your arm around his shoulder and ask him to walk with your for a minute, then guide him away) face him head on and say: Listen I am sure you are just trying to be nice or maybe you're trying to pick up my chick, regardless of what your intentions are? I am really into this girl and I would appreciate some "bro code" here. You seem like a respectable guy, I am sure if it was the other way around, you wouldn't want me interrupting your evening out with a lady. We are enjoying ourselves at this place and it would be a shame for us to have to leave just because you can't be respectful. Put your hand out to shake his hand, then say, have a great evening, it was a pleasure meeting you. ( shake his hand firmly, while looking him straight in the eye)

But a bar...it's like you're asking for it. There's like 1000s of others things to do than a bar..

Quote:

But a bar...it's like you're asking for it. There's like 1000s of others things to do than a bar..

Agreed, but he is going to need to develop that ability anyway. I mean like he said they were laughing the drunks off.

Whats not to say he takes her out during the day and these guys were there doing the same thing, sure far faar less likely but can still happen.

Author:	ftw [ Thu May 17, 2012 11:03 am ]
Post subject:	Stopping a PUA from stealing your date without being an ass
I was out on a first date with a hb9 I had met through an online dating site and I took her to a couple bars that were within walking distance of her house. Everywhere we went, guys were interrupting us and trying to butt in. Most were pathetic and gave us both a good laugh and were easy enough to dismiss, but when two PUAs moved in, I felt pretty defenseless. We were playing shuffleboard and they positioned themselves so they could talk to her as she moved from one end of the table to the other. I didn't see how they opened, but in the 10 seconds that she had talked to them before I got there, she was completely engaged and laughing. I knew exactly what was going on, and everything they wore, did, and said screamed PUA, but she ate all of it up. They were very welcoming and friendly to me, including me in conversation and not trying to isolate her. I would talk to her and position myself so she had to turn her back to them to talk to me, but the PUA would grab her arm and wheel her around and back into their area and start a new conversation thread that she would find very engaging. They were able to get her number via having her text them a photo she took with her phone of them. In the last year, my confident cocky nice guy approach has let me be with 40 girls, but was completely incompatible with diffusing this situation. The only thing I could do to get her away from the PUAs was to venue change to another bar. I was able to fc her at the end of the night, but don't wan't to ever be in that situation again where a PUA is able to game my date right in front of me. How can I stop that without coming off as a complete anti-social asshole?

Author:	LBot [ Thu May 17, 2012 11:55 am ]
Post subject:
This happened to me about 3 weeks ago, He was the bar manager and we called him over for a complaint about the anti pasto we ordered. He moves from that from trying to game my girl right infront of me wtf? He was trying to build rapport because he was from the same city as her and was trying to talk about stuff that I knew little of among other things that I wasn't really paying much attention to, could see it from a mile away he was trying to get her. I jokingly called him out on it right infront of her(think I said something along the lines of "it's so cute that even though we are complaining you are still trying to pick up my girl", Shut his game down pretty well but didn't make him give up completely . However it was the speed bump I needed to take over the conversation again. I also applied kino to make him less comfortable. Now that I was holding the conversation again I did some mild DHV. He gave up. It is very hard to do this because a good pua is going to try turn things back around on you to make you look like the tool. You have to do it in a funny light hearted way and show that you are not threatened by it. Like even saying something like "Damn it feels good to be out with a girl where all these guys come over and try to be cute for her in hopes of getting a number, thanks guys you made my night". All depends how good they are at navigating awkward situations you want to put the pressure back onto them and not show any signs of cracking. You may have noticed I like the word "cute" this is because almost no guy wants to be called cute and her opinion of him will change subconciously from sexy man beast to cute sweet little boy.

Author:	LBot [ Thu May 17, 2012 12:41 pm ]
Post subject:
Oh just to clarify, that was our first date, calling her my girl might seem a bit posessive but I think it helped me assert dominance in that instance. Ended up having a successful Day2 ended back at her place with her 2 weeks later.

Author:	Techgame [ Thu May 17, 2012 12:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Hmm. Well I'm no PUA teacher or anything, but I use the following things in combination. 1. EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEME HUMOR Being more funny than the other guys usually gets the girl back in your court. 2. subtle insults Get an idea of their personalities and track everything they say and turn it around to insult them in a light, funny way. 3. Cave man grab!!!!!!!! Literally just say "hello gentlemen, but we must be going now" (or maybe "hello fags" depending on how you're feeling) and physically yank her out of there. My experience is that they like being fought over and that you're the big strong man taking them away. It's a form of sexy sexy Kino. If you're good at subtle insults that don't lead to fights, fucking with them can be a good time.

Author:	Fvckitimout [ Thu May 17, 2012 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Ive been in situations like that and it usually doesnt matter unless they venue change with her or isolate (if in a high energy environment). If they are cool and respectful, then it should be fine. If they get her number and/or meet later on, it wouldnt matter if you are just fucking her. If they get her number and they meet later on, it means shes not gf material if you were plannng on taking her seriously. No need to stress.

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Author:	SexAddict911 [ Thu May 17, 2012 1:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Stopping a PUA from stealing your date without being an ass
Quote: I was out on a first date with a hb9 I had met through an online dating site and I took her to a couple bars that were within walking distance of her house. Everywhere we went, guys were interrupting us and trying to butt in. Most were pathetic and gave us both a good laugh and were easy enough to dismiss, but when two PUAs moved in, I felt pretty defenseless. We were playing shuffleboard and they positioned themselves so they could talk to her as she moved from one end of the table to the other. I didn't see how they opened, but in the 10 seconds that she had talked to them before I got there, she was completely engaged and laughing. I knew exactly what was going on, and everything they wore, did, and said screamed PUA, but she ate all of it up. They were very welcoming and friendly to me, including me in conversation and not trying to isolate her. I would talk to her and position myself so she had to turn her back to them to talk to me, but the PUA would grab her arm and wheel her around and back into their area and start a new conversation thread that she would find very engaging. They were able to get her number via having her text them a photo she took with her phone of them. In the last year, my confident cocky nice guy approach has let me be with 40 girls, but was completely incompatible with diffusing this situation. The only thing I could do to get her away from the PUAs was to venue change to another bar. I was able to fc her at the end of the night, but don't wan't to ever be in that situation again where a PUA is able to game my date right in front of me. How can I stop that without coming off as a complete anti-social asshole? If you are not physical or the alpha male type. Which I am assuming you are not, as most guys will not approach another woman if the guy she's with seems like the type to smash him in the face regardless if he is an alpha himself. I'd suggest still being a man about it and confronting the guy head on. Without being rude simple say something like. Excuse me man, introduce yourself and place yourself right in between your date and him,( or even put your arm around his shoulder and ask him to walk with your for a minute, then guide him away) face him head on and say: Listen I am sure you are just trying to be nice or maybe you're trying to pick up my chick, regardless of what your intentions are? I am really into this girl and I would appreciate some "bro code" here. You seem like a respectable guy, I am sure if it was the other way around, you wouldn't want me interrupting your evening out with a lady. We are enjoying ourselves at this place and it would be a shame for us to have to leave just because you can't be respectful. Put your hand out to shake his hand, then say, have a great evening, it was a pleasure meeting you. ( shake his hand firmly, while looking him straight in the eye) If he was truly a pick up artist, he should have plenty of women and not be too concerned with yours. The true pick up artists that I know personally all have great qualities and usually very respectable. And will show respect to those that are respectable themselves. On another note: Know that the girl is out with you, enjoy the evening, show no ill effect. Don't let the guy get to you. Keep it friendly, drop subtle hints by kino-ing the girl in front of the guy. If he still persists, then confront him.

Author:	CaptainJackHarkness [ Thu May 17, 2012 7:42 pm ]
Post subject:
Why did you take your date to a bar?

Author:	LBot [ Thu May 17, 2012 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Why did you take your date to a bar? Why the fuck not? What you do the movie date? That's entertaining....

Author:	ftw [ Thu May 17, 2012 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Ive been in situations like that and it usually doesnt matter unless they venue change with her or isolate (if in a high energy environment). If they are cool and respectful, then it should be fine. If they get her number and/or meet later on, it wouldnt matter if you are just fucking her. If they get her number and they meet later on, it means shes not gf material if you were plannng on taking her seriously. No need to stress. Both me and my date were fully aware that the other was having sex with more than one person most days. We had even talked about having a threesome with my girlfriend if after getting to know each other, we decided that we didn't hate each other by the time the PUAs stepped in. In my case, I am not concerned or jealous at all that some guy got her number, my issue is that it broke the continuity of a night that had already been fragmented from fending off drunk and tactless idiots. Even though her dating someone else while I am out of town with work is completely inconsequential to me, I am concerned that while on a date with me, she is spending time with and building attraction to someone who isn't me, and who, although it was mostly harmless this time and I was still able to fc her that night, probably has the skills to steal her that night if he and his wing really wanted to be dicks. Quote: Why did you take your date to a bar? The moment we saw each other, we knew how the night was going to end, but still had to get through the date portion of the evening to get there. Once before, on a whim (fine, to win a bet), on first date with a girl from online, when I met the girl for the first time as she let me into her door, I only said 'hi' before slamming her against the wall and having (consensual) entryway sex with her. As fun as that was, I think going on an actual date is probably the higher percentage play. We couldn't get together til late, so taking her hiking/biking/rock climbing/to a comedy club/museum were all out, and she lived 2 blocks from some of my city's best dive bars that she had never been to. Since she was knew to the city introducing her to some hidden gem bars seemed pretty DHV to me. Any better first date ideas for a 9:30pm on a weekday? Quote: Without being rude simple say something like. Excuse me man, introduce yourself and place yourself right in between your date and him,( or even put your arm around his shoulder and ask him to walk with your for a minute, then guide him away) face him head on and say: Listen I am sure you are just trying to be nice or maybe you're trying to pick up my chick, regardless of what your intentions are? I am really into this girl and I would appreciate some "bro code" here. You seem like a respectable guy, I am sure if it was the other way around, you wouldn't want me interrupting your evening out with a lady. We are enjoying ourselves at this place and it would be a shame for us to have to leave just because you can't be respectful. Put your hand out to shake his hand, then say, have a great evening, it was a pleasure meeting you. ( shake his hand firmly, while looking him straight in the eye) Thanks, that seems just about perfect.

Author:	LBot [ Thu May 17, 2012 8:31 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: But a bar...it's like you're asking for it. There's like 1000s of others things to do than a bar.. Agreed, but he is going to need to develop that ability anyway. I mean like he said they were laughing the drunks off. Whats not to say he takes her out during the day and these guys were there doing the same thing, sure far faar less likely but can still happen.

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Thu May 17, 2012 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:
Heed SA911's post. Confront him, but not in front of her - direct him out. Laughingly, but also with intent. Keep it light. You build the picture to her that you're calm under fire, respectful of her, and able to POLITELY handle your shit. Trying to AMOG at the onset is stupid and only escalates the douchebags to fight. I don't fight if I can absolutely help it. Humor deflates most, bouncers deflate the rest. The hard thing for some newbs to realize is this: Backing down SEEMS like the pussy-thing to do... But... to the lady: SHE is more important than fighting... and when you think about it... would you rather "feel" justified and fight some dickhead, get thrown out of the bar and potentially arrested - or would you rather bounce from the scene and fuck your date? It's a no-brainer. To be honest, I've had men come to talk wiht a chick I'm out with before, but I've seriously never felt threatened...I don't know - but I'd bet my mindset alone is a major factor in that...it's seriously not even a blip on my radar when I go out... RR

Author:	Techgame [ Fri May 18, 2012 12:51 am ]
Post subject:
I think for the most part, 911 is correct, a lot of times just being cool & gently pushing them away is best. However, if they're dicks or douches don't know, a lot of times I can't help but tear into them a little bit with insults.

Author:	jurupa [ Fri May 18, 2012 12:58 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: But a bar...it's like you're asking for it. There's like 1000s of others things to do than a bar.. Agreed, but he is going to need to develop that ability anyway. I mean like he said they were laughing the drunks off. Whats not to say he takes her out during the day and these guys were there doing the same thing, sure far faar less likely but can still happen. Yes it can still happen but never the less why go to a place knowing full well there be a high chance of PUA's there? Especially when on the first date? That is just asking for it and asking for a guy to "steal" the girl from you. Yes it can happen anywhere but be smart about it at least.

Author:	detox75 [ Fri May 18, 2012 1:38 am ]
Post subject:
First of all most of this advice is good except for the one guy who said "ignore it, dont get jealous". You having your date hit on by another man blatantly to your face and getting alphaed is not something to ignore. This sounds like bad advice from Cosmo magazine. Also the idea of clever insults and catty convo to deter the AMOG/PUA is the typical PUA answer to this question. I dont like it; im usually not in a mood to be witty and catty when this happens and what if I decide to play that game and loose? Gentle but frim Confrontation as Sex Addict and RR said is better, you may have to escalate from there but its doubtful, usually guys who get called on their bullshit will walk away rather then double down unless you look harmless. Of late I just physically move my date away from the problem. It conveys the same alpha and effective message and leaves no room for ambiguity. I have yet to have any would-be PUA's follow us and the date knows wtf is the deal. Im surprised you f-closed her after she gave her number to another guy right in front of you. Well done.

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