PUA Forum :: A hot girl with a crew of guys and girls who party

My question is how do I become part of this? I have some rapport built with her but not very much. We used to work together a while ago and she doesn't seem too interested in me.
She and her people seem to be partiers between the ages of 18-23, and I imagine these are people that they have known for a while. I think it would be weird to message her out of the blue and ask to chill with her and her crew, especially since I don't have a wing.
Also, I'm not really to used to this scene. I just thought it would be cool to gain access to the fun and the women. The problem is getting in and the possible threat of the guys who might not want me there because they don't know me.
I would appreciate some insight if anyone has any ideas.

Quote:

Here's an insight: why do you want to be a part of this?

YOU're the party. Teach yourself to be a source of amusement. You're trying to go in on her as a VALUE TAKER which is inherently unattractive. You're needy on a fundamental level. Get over that first and foremost instead of using crutches.

At most, get a wing guy or girl.

I mean, if you just back in town, that's always a good excuse to get back in touch with people. Put out feelers on facebook. Public messages, private messages. Just be straight up. You're looking for good places and people for partying. You can talk to this girl and her specific group, but it's best to cast a wide net.

I find that guys are usually cool if another guy comes into the group, its usually women who are more affraid if another women comes in

Well the good news is I got her talking a bit by texting.

Baracuda: That's pretty cool how you formed a group and it grew so much. I would like to be able to bring people together like that.

Baron_erotique: How do you think I could ask her out 1 on 1? I don't think dinner and a movie would cut it. The only thing I could think of would be to ask her to go bowling or maybe to Buffalo Wild Wings. What would you guys do for a 1 on 1?

pumpington: You make a good point. I know I definitely have my insecurities that I'm trying to work on. Though, I can be outgoing at times. Right now it just seems a little difficult to meet people. As far as putting myself in uncomfortable positions in order to grow, would going to a bar or dance club by myself without a wing or anybody be a good thing to do?

Quote:

sure that would be a good thing if you think after a while you could get to the point where you enjoy doing that and socializing, you have to just find what you enjoy doing, you can meet women any time, any place, all it takes is some courage a look and a hello, if your social circle is lacking, just go find a hobby that you enjoy that involves other people, then meet those people and just like trying to pick up a girl, form a connection and start inviting them out and providing some value to their lives, eventually you will have some new friends (as many as you feel like meeting/connecting with), just stay in contact, keep hanging out eventually you will just have more people to hang out with, girls and guys included, and most likely everyone that is connected will have some sort of common interest that brought them all together and allowed them to connect, lets say for example you are a soccer player, and you meet a girl who enjoys playing/watching soccer, chances are you will have alot of things to talk about that interest both of you compared to some chick that shares no commonalities, you will find it is just leaps and bounds easier to ''game'' a girl when you have things in common to talk about

Author:	justinwa [ Wed May 16, 2012 4:30 am ]
Post subject:	A hot girl with a crew of guys and girls who party
My question is how do I become part of this? I have some rapport built with her but not very much. We used to work together a while ago and she doesn't seem too interested in me. She and her people seem to be partiers between the ages of 18-23, and I imagine these are people that they have known for a while. I think it would be weird to message her out of the blue and ask to chill with her and her crew, especially since I don't have a wing. Also, I'm not really to used to this scene. I just thought it would be cool to gain access to the fun and the women. The problem is getting in and the possible threat of the guys who might not want me there because they don't know me. I would appreciate some insight if anyone has any ideas.

Author:	GeorgePH [ Wed May 16, 2012 9:47 am ]
Post subject:	Re: A hot girl with a crew of guys and girls who party
Quote: My question is how do I become part of this? I have some rapport built with her but not very much. We used to work together a while ago and she doesn't seem too interested in me. She and her people seem to be partiers between the ages of 18-23, and I imagine these are people that they have known for a while. I think it would be weird to message her out of the blue and ask to chill with her and her crew, especially since I don't have a wing. Also, I'm not really to used to this scene. I just thought it would be cool to gain access to the fun and the women. The problem is getting in and the possible threat of the guys who might not want me there because they don't know me. I would appreciate some insight if anyone has any ideas. Here's an insight: why do you want to be a part of this? YOU're the party. Teach yourself to be a source of amusement. You're trying to go in on her as a VALUE TAKER which is inherently unattractive. You're needy on a fundamental level. Get over that first and foremost instead of using crutches. At most, get a wing guy or girl.

Author:	vcwriter [ Wed May 16, 2012 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:
Joining a crew like that is a decent idea. A lot of guys are so focused on getting girls that they forget how important it is to just be a cool sociable guy. Having cool people around you makes you look good. Having girls around that you aren't trying to sleep with also makes you look good. It's hard to join a crew. There's no engraved invitation. You can't force it either. Can't invite yourself. Can't even ask. It's the kind of thing where you see them around a few times, and start to get along with more than one person in the crew, and next thing you know you're on the list. You might have to wait for a birthday party or something, where a lot of people get together and hang out, and it's not weird for you to show up. Next best thing: throw a big party and invite a bunch of people. Tell her to bring her friends. No guarantee she'll come. But this will let you build your own crew.

Author:	justinwa [ Wed May 16, 2012 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: A hot girl with a crew of guys and girls who party
Quote: Quote: My question is how do I become part of this? I have some rapport built with her but not very much. We used to work together a while ago and she doesn't seem too interested in me. She and her people seem to be partiers between the ages of 18-23, and I imagine these are people that they have known for a while. I think it would be weird to message her out of the blue and ask to chill with her and her crew, especially since I don't have a wing. Also, I'm not really to used to this scene. I just thought it would be cool to gain access to the fun and the women. The problem is getting in and the possible threat of the guys who might not want me there because they don't know me. I would appreciate some insight if anyone has any ideas. Here's an insight: why do you want to be a part of this? YOU're the party. Teach yourself to be a source of amusement. You're trying to go in on her as a VALUE TAKER which is inherently unattractive. You're needy on a fundamental level. Get over that first and foremost instead of using crutches. At most, get a wing guy or girl. I see. It really isn't my intention of being a value taker, I would much rather be a value giver. I just don't really know where to begin or how to get my foot in the door or how to start living that value giver lifestyle. I'm 22 and I've come back to my home town on my summer break. I pretty much have to start from scratch with my social circle and stuff. I guess I was just looking for a crutch to give me something to work with. Also, I've never thrown a party before so I really wouldn't know how to go about that. It also couldn't get too crazy because I'm still using my parents house to crash. I appreciate the responses guys. Thanks.

Author:	vcwriter [ Wed May 16, 2012 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:
I mean, if you just back in town, that's always a good excuse to get back in touch with people. Put out feelers on facebook. Public messages, private messages. Just be straight up. You're looking for good places and people for partying. You can talk to this girl and her specific group, but it's best to cast a wide net.

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Author:	justinwa [ Thu May 17, 2012 1:37 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I mean, if you just back in town, that's always a good excuse to get back in touch with people. Put out feelers on facebook. Public messages, private messages. Just be straight up. You're looking for good places and people for partying. You can talk to this girl and her specific group, but it's best to cast a wide net. I see. I guess it doesn't hurt to throw the line out there.

Author:	Algorythm [ Thu May 17, 2012 4:19 am ]
Post subject:
I find that guys are usually cool if another guy comes into the group, its usually women who are more affraid if another women comes in

Author:	justinwa [ Thu May 17, 2012 6:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I find that guys are usually cool if another guy comes into the group, its usually women who are more affraid if another women comes in What Irony. lol

Author:	baracuda [ Fri May 18, 2012 1:17 am ]
Post subject:
Im in a social circle that just keeps increasing year by year somethin like 50 odd now started as about 8 of us I have found though that the girls do not like other girls joining as much as much me i couldnt care i dont game my social circle have a bit of a flirt with them all wingwomen for dancing an that Sometimes on drunken nights you get the odd kclose from it or rarely a fclose I need to recruit some more ladies in it though getting outnumbered but way more important than any girls is my social group too much fun

Author:	baron_erotique [ Fri May 18, 2012 4:23 am ]
Post subject:
if you're close enough to ask her out 1on1, you can hang out and have fun, show her you're cool without looking like you're trying too hard. after few times, she'd invite you to one of parties or nights out. that's what I usually do with girls. if she starts thinking you're cool, she'd want to introduce you to her crew because introducing a cool guy would be a DHV for her. right now there is a girl I've been hanging out with who obviously wants to sleep with me (says my wings too, lol) but I constantly push her into friend zone so she'd invite me to parties to show that she's with cool people herself, trying to show that she's cool

Author:	pumpington [ Fri May 18, 2012 7:09 am ]
Post subject:	Re: A hot girl with a crew of guys and girls who party
Quote: My question is how do I become part of this? I have some rapport built with her but not very much. We used to work together a while ago and she doesn't seem too interested in me. She and her people seem to be partiers between the ages of 18-23, and I imagine these are people that they have known for a while. I think it would be weird to message her out of the blue and ask to chill with her and her crew, especially since I don't have a wing. Also, I'm not really to used to this scene. I just thought it would be cool to gain access to the fun and the women. The problem is getting in and the possible threat of the guys who might not want me there because they don't know me. I would appreciate some insight if anyone has any ideas. if you want to hang out with her, just do so, it sort of sucks but you have to learn to form new habits to change yourself, it is easy to say ''just go hang out with her, if you don't know the people she is going to be with, be confident and meet them, make it fun for yourself'', but really if you are shy or really socially in-experienced due to your personality (tend to be introvert/avoid people etc.) this is not just going to happen overnight, chances are you will go, be shy as usual, not escalate, not get anywhere, and have a shitty night where you barley talk to anyone, and end up not making new friends but rather be seen as some random shy guy who sat in the same spot for hours and never talked, well... if that is what happens at least something rather then nothing happened, you have to take action and make your life happen, you won't just wake up one day to a new life, it happens small step by small step, introduce new habits and demonstrate discipline in maintaining those habits, you have goals, work for them, introduce new healthy attractive habits, cut back on unhealthy habits, put yourself in positions that you are not comfortable with (like meeting up with this girl for example), if guys are your problem, then that is actually just your in-experience and insecurity coming to the surface, I have not had a guy ever fight me or agressively harass me or ''amog'' me for simply being in his pressence, as long as you stay cool and be friendly, chances are most guys around you will do the same

Author:	justinwa [ Sun May 20, 2012 4:17 am ]
Post subject:
Well the good news is I got her talking a bit by texting. Baracuda: That's pretty cool how you formed a group and it grew so much. I would like to be able to bring people together like that. Baron_erotique: How do you think I could ask her out 1 on 1? I don't think dinner and a movie would cut it. The only thing I could think of would be to ask her to go bowling or maybe to Buffalo Wild Wings. What would you guys do for a 1 on 1? pumpington: You make a good point. I know I definitely have my insecurities that I'm trying to work on. Though, I can be outgoing at times. Right now it just seems a little difficult to meet people. As far as putting myself in uncomfortable positions in order to grow, would going to a bar or dance club by myself without a wing or anybody be a good thing to do?

Author:	pumpington [ Sun May 20, 2012 6:18 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Well the good news is I got her talking a bit by texting. Baracuda: That's pretty cool how you formed a group and it grew so much. I would like to be able to bring people together like that. Baron_erotique: How do you think I could ask her out 1 on 1? I don't think dinner and a movie would cut it. The only thing I could think of would be to ask her to go bowling or maybe to Buffalo Wild Wings. What would you guys do for a 1 on 1? pumpington: You make a good point. I know I definitely have my insecurities that I'm trying to work on. Though, I can be outgoing at times. Right now it just seems a little difficult to meet people. As far as putting myself in uncomfortable positions in order to grow, would going to a bar or dance club by myself without a wing or anybody be a good thing to do? sure that would be a good thing if you think after a while you could get to the point where you enjoy doing that and socializing, you have to just find what you enjoy doing, you can meet women any time, any place, all it takes is some courage a look and a hello, if your social circle is lacking, just go find a hobby that you enjoy that involves other people, then meet those people and just like trying to pick up a girl, form a connection and start inviting them out and providing some value to their lives, eventually you will have some new friends (as many as you feel like meeting/connecting with), just stay in contact, keep hanging out eventually you will just have more people to hang out with, girls and guys included, and most likely everyone that is connected will have some sort of common interest that brought them all together and allowed them to connect, lets say for example you are a soccer player, and you meet a girl who enjoys playing/watching soccer, chances are you will have alot of things to talk about that interest both of you compared to some chick that shares no commonalities, you will find it is just leaps and bounds easier to ''game'' a girl when you have things in common to talk about

Author:	justinwa [ Wed May 23, 2012 2:59 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Well the good news is I got her talking a bit by texting. Baracuda: That's pretty cool how you formed a group and it grew so much. I would like to be able to bring people together like that. Baron_erotique: How do you think I could ask her out 1 on 1? I don't think dinner and a movie would cut it. The only thing I could think of would be to ask her to go bowling or maybe to Buffalo Wild Wings. What would you guys do for a 1 on 1? pumpington: You make a good point. I know I definitely have my insecurities that I'm trying to work on. Though, I can be outgoing at times. Right now it just seems a little difficult to meet people. As far as putting myself in uncomfortable positions in order to grow, would going to a bar or dance club by myself without a wing or anybody be a good thing to do? sure that would be a good thing if you think after a while you could get to the point where you enjoy doing that and socializing, you have to just find what you enjoy doing, you can meet women any time, any place, all it takes is some courage a look and a hello, if your social circle is lacking, just go find a hobby that you enjoy that involves other people, then meet those people and just like trying to pick up a girl, form a connection and start inviting them out and providing some value to their lives, eventually you will have some new friends (as many as you feel like meeting/connecting with), just stay in contact, keep hanging out eventually you will just have more people to hang out with, girls and guys included, and most likely everyone that is connected will have some sort of common interest that brought them all together and allowed them to connect, lets say for example you are a soccer player, and you meet a girl who enjoys playing/watching soccer, chances are you will have alot of things to talk about that interest both of you compared to some chick that shares no commonalities, you will find it is just leaps and bounds easier to ''game'' a girl when you have things in common to talk about That makes sense.

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Author:	the_noob123 [ Wed May 23, 2012 3:09 am ]
Post subject:
get her to talk about her freinds then you say they sound cool as fuck and that you would love to meet em one day