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Too Alpha ?? I think it's my Achilles heal
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Author:  Savateur [ Wed May 09, 2012 12:27 am ]
Post subject:  Too Alpha ?? I think it's my Achilles heal
I need your help guys. I've never had the problem of not being noticed. I'm bald I'm 6'0 250 lbs, I played all the contact sports including MMA and most people turn to look at me when I'm at a club. Problem is, it doesn't feel right for me to try to be real talkative. I look at guys like Sinn or Style in field and they're non-threatening, I feel like I am. I'm starting to work on my body language ie I won't face them directly, I'll turn and things like that. Do you guys have any suggestions? Maybe a Pua I haven't heard of? I saw Gambler and it looks like I might be able to follow his advice pretty well. Thoughts?
Author:  christpa [ Wed May 09, 2012 4:34 am ]
Post subject: 
I don't think it's possible to be "too alpha." If you look threatening and scare people, that could be a problem. If people automatically notice you, that should work to your advantage. My suggestion would be to smile a lot, act genuine, and have fun. If you walk around with your chest puffed out and glare at everyone, they'll probably think you're a jerk. Be confident, and accentuation your alpha-ness (I'm sure that's a word), but make sure to smile and relax. Girls aren't usually scared of guys that are big and strong, since they've long gotten over the fact that pretty much any guy can overpower them and know that very few would ever actually try to hurt them. Psychologically healthy girls naturally tend to view a strong man as a more capable protector and thus a more suitable mate.

I always thought Matador pulls off the tough guy image pretty well, which is what I go for too. Here's an example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQm9k8NagbY
Author:  Savateur [ Wed May 09, 2012 5:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Christpa all very good points will work on that
Author:  RedCali [ Wed May 09, 2012 5:22 am ]
Post subject: 
If you mean solo Alpha behavior, the usual stuff is good posture, smiling, turning your back to her when you can, like you said.

If you're talking about AMOG's, there's a shitload of posts on it but I remember reading a FR by Tyler Durden about handling a 10's AMOG friend who was apparently some muscle head asshole. TD is a tiny guy so he really breaks down the details of his Alpha routine. i.e...he brushes off the AMOG's disses, calls him out in front of the girl without completely insulting him.

If by too alpha you mean being TOO uninterested, that can be a problem. I've done it before, where I completely shun a hot girl and show her zero attention whatsoever because I was trying to make her notice and make a move or show IOI's (because I'm not smothering her like every other guy). But at some point you have to move your routine along.
Author:  Savateur [ Wed May 09, 2012 2:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thankd Redcall I'm glad u brought that up. Another good point. I think i get iois because of too alpha. And then when I reward them for the iois I feel it's like a let down to them because I actually went up to them. In approaching I lost that power I guess
Author:  Deadeyexx [ Wed May 09, 2012 3:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
You really do have to be more interactive. I'm 6'3" 240lbs and have the same type of issues. People will take you very seriously and there's a lot of ice to break to get them comfortable with you. Work on making other people smile.

On the plus side, you won't have to do much to build attraction. Being an alpha dog, it's just there. And don't worry about doing stuff that might make you look beta. You simply can't unless you try really, really hard. Other guys might try to play you off as uncool to make themselves look better, but deep down, everyone knows what you are and what you can do.
Author:  Ezo [ Wed May 09, 2012 3:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Look at James Matador or Hypnotica. Both of them would eat Chuck Norris for breakfast with SPAM as dessert.
Author:  Savateur [ Wed May 09, 2012 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Deadeye I really like that!
Author:  RedCali [ Thu May 10, 2012 5:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thankd Redcall I'm glad u brought that up. Another good point. I think i get iois because of too alpha. And then when I reward them for the iois I feel it's like a let down to them because I actually went up to them. In approaching I lost that power I guess
No probelm. but just maintain your positive body language and smile when you approach. Even tough alpha guys can smile, and it works best with C&F. If you're body language becomes hesitant, nervy, or negative as you're doing the approach, she'll read it in a second, just like anyone would.
Author:  P-Style [ Thu May 10, 2012 6:06 am ]
Post subject: 
I know of a bouncer in my local town with enormous chest and arms. Like you, he was a boxer too. Girls like him alot because he's got a really open personality, he's always nice and as such all girls want to go on pictures with him. But I got a feeling he doesn't score that much because all girls think he's nice. And in love you can be plenty of things but nice isn't one of them.
So the point I'm making is don't be overly nice. This does not equal punching every guy who looks at you but it isn't wrong to let women just feel a very tiny little off ease. For a guy with your posture that should not be a problem. And like someone said above I think caveman is the best way for you aswell.
Author:  Deadeyexx [ Thu May 10, 2012 4:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I know of a bouncer in my local town with enormous chest and arms. Like you, he was a boxer too. Girls like him alot because he's got a really open personality, he's always nice and as such all girls want to go on pictures with him. But I got a feeling he doesn't score that much because all girls think he's nice. And in love you can be plenty of things but nice isn't one of them.
So the point I'm making is don't be overly nice. This does not equal punching every guy who looks at you but it isn't wrong to let women just feel a very tiny little off ease. For a guy with your posture that should not be a problem. And like someone said above I think caveman is the best way for you aswell.
I don't think it's possible to be overly nice if you have an intimidating figure like that. You could kiss ass and grovel the whole night, but the second you stand up straight and speak in a firm voice, people will take you seriously.

Unless you're defining "nice" as someone who never makes that stand. Then yes, he probably wouldn't get what he wants.
Author:  hypnotica [ Thu May 10, 2012 5:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
This may give you some insight. It is from my book Metawhore.

expression and development of my clients.
I live by my teachings, and to truthfully teach men how
best to present themselves socially, seductively, and
sexually, I have to explore these teachings firsthand. Time
and time again I have been forced to test my own theories to
maintain my belief in the processes I teach. For example, at
one time I became concerned that my physique was largely
responsible for my success. I had maintained a good
physique since my teens, and I didn’t want my clients to
think that connecting with women was easier for me because
I kept in good shape. Being considered a pioneer of the
“Renaissance man movement,” it is vitally important that I
remain adaptable and fresh to keep with the times. I know
that only my experiences can make me adaptable enough to
maintain my position as a thought leader in the relationship
and dating field. If someone says to me, “Yeah, but you
couldn’t do this stuff if you were fat and out of shape,” I
need to be able to say, “Yes, I could, and I have.”
So, about 10 years ago I ventured into unknown territory
to test my theory that a person’s personality and mental skill
set are far more powerful than their looks. Prior to this
experiment I thought I knew what women supposedly liked,
so I always stacked the cards in my favor and presented the
best visual version of “me” possible. I had chiseled away at
my body to create an almost perfect specimen of what
women perceived as sexy. So, instead of hitting the gym, I
shaved my head and began to pack on the pounds. My goal
— 323 —
was to go back and erase my adolescent programming, to
reeducate myself on the inner qualities that should be at the
forefront of making a person feel worthy and appealing to
others. I wanted to remove the focus on the superficial and
concentrate on the inner person. I stopped working out and
started eating everything in sight. I was eating so much that
within a few months I had ballooned to 280 pounds. This
was a tough task. Going from fit to fat, from healthy to
unhealthy, meant my stamina, breathing, and my wallet
suffered considerably. I was committed to the consumption
of burritos, pizzas, and McDonalds. The driving factor in
this experiment was to prove that being overweight wasn’t
an excuse not to pursue women, and that a large number of
women will put physical appearance aside if a man can
come across as down-to-earth, confident, and fun.
It is true that women generally pursue slimmer men, but
that doesn’t mean you can’t generate interest — which will
ultimately encourage you to lose weight, anyway. It is
important to me that I live through my clients’ reality, or at
least try to achieve a substantial level of empathy. By
undertaking this experiment I would become a better coach
for my overweight clients.
With the weight packed on I began the experiment by
becoming excessively flirtatious with women. I used
meditation to maintain my confidence and generate a
constant level of projected sexual energy. I was an obese guy
on a mission to consume women...metaphorically speaking.
Initially, I thought my level of intimacy would drop
dramatically; however, I was pleasantly surprised when I
was intimate with three women in the first week of the
experiment. Don’t get me wrong, I was going extra full on
with the flirting and engagement tactics, but the fact is I had
a double chin and flabby belly and was still getting laid.
The following week the volume of intimate encounters
increased, and by the last week of my experiment I had
blown the theory out of the water by clocking up 15 sexual
— 324 —
encounters. Most men presume this must have been great.
Eat what you want and still get the girls. But my life was
seriously out of balance. All my time was dedicated to
seeking intimate encounters and analyzing the details of
each one for future reference. This meant I needed a
competent level of energy and mental focus. But the
experiment made this hard to maintain because I felt very
unfit.
Backing off from the experiment and evaluating my
experience, I deduced that if you know how to enjoy, tease,
tantalize, and mentally stimulate women, weight has almost
no bearing on the success of an encounter. In fact, in some
ways I found it easier becoming intimate with women being
overweight. I am not entirely sure why. I can only think that
being a heavier guy I appeared friendlier, more
approachable. I think having a cover-model body is
intimidating for some women. The confidence meditation I
practiced during the experiment may also have had a
bearing on the outcome, but I believe that overall the results
were positively conclusive in favor of looks being a mere
psychological boundary.
I had learned a very valuable lesson. Personality is
capable of being more attractive than physical appearances.
Don’t get me wrong, I know looks are more often than not
the initiating factor, but if you navigate around this
preconceived norm, you will see that physical appearance is
purely an obstacle you need to get past.
Though the outcome was pleasing, the experiment
lacked physical rewards and felt stressful. My energy was
being torn in too many directions. Time management took
on a whole new meaning and the biggest problem I had was
scheduling women into my diary and choosing which one to
spend time with. Vagina was beginning to control my life
and I was glad to abort my mission.
During this fit-to-fat experiment I encountered a huge
problem in terms of sexual performance. I became reliant on
— 325 —
the excessive use of dick-help pills. Being out of shape and
having so much sex meant I was forced to find Viagra on the
black market. I took a pill for each sexual encounter of the
experiment. Feeling so unfit, I just didn’t have the
concentration to even think about utilizing the Eastern
Taoist technique of semen retention for increased energy.
Instead, my crutch came in the shape of an oval pill. I am a
fairly white fellow by nature, and during this time I looked
more like a beet. My face was constantly red and my eyes
bloodshot due to the excessive vasodilators moving through
my system.
Fitness and age are both contributing factors to bodily
recovery from sexual activity. Age alone means the body just
doesn’t respond as well as it did in its 18-30 prime. Couple
age with poor fitness and you will be reaching for the dickhardening
pills a lot earlier in life than you should.
Many a person gave me shit for experimenting with
these pills, but this experiment gave me a chance to see life
from the other side of the fence. I know I’d rather perform
than have a limp noodle playing rollup at the mouth of a
hungry vagina. On reflection, I am extremely glad I
indulged. Knowing what it’s like to need pills to perform
helped me connect with some of my elderly clients in
another important way. I learned firsthand just how
mentally torturous impotence is for a man. There is nothing
worse than wanting sex but not being able to perform. Dickhard
pills facilitate sexual relations, which can only be a
good thing. So, if you need a little help, don’t be shy in
seeing the doctor. There can be better sex through chemistry,
and it doesn’t make you any less of a man. No one should
depend on pills unless they really need them, and if you
aren’t impotent, then only use pills when you feel really
tired and know you aren’t capable of performing.
Unfortunately, I can’t disclose which of the three leading
brands of pill is best; Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis. I am still
waiting for a call from any of the marketing directors to do a
— 326 —
“Got Milk?” style commercial. I can see it now. “Got Wood?
Hypnotica says you should.”
Author:  Tinfoil88 [ Thu May 10, 2012 5:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Don't worry your not too alpha, if your macho looking, it just fuels the "real man" look, women want MEN not boys. You will look more like you can protect and provide for them, just control your body language, be open, chatting and non aggressive, if you have female social proof with you, that'll be pretty good. You can be their big cuddly bear ;)
Author:  Savateur [ Thu May 10, 2012 7:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks a lot guys I really appreciate the help! Thanks to Hypnotica I just dloaded meta whore.
Author:  hypnotica [ Fri May 11, 2012 4:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Studied this a lot. I think you will learn a lot from it. I went down that road and learned a lot.
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