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| I am a 9 - My personality has been parallized me - Need help https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=135078 |
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| Author: | Criss hell [ Fri May 04, 2012 11:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I am a 9 - My personality has been parallized me - Need help |
Hey guys, Just to make it short: I am 28 and I've been in US for almost 3 years.I've been trying to have good interaction with girls. However, I am disappointed with my result so far. In this 3 years, I had only 1 long relationship (for 5 months and was not perfect ) and some random hook ups.(less than 5).Also my social circle is limited . I have come to the conclusion that I am missing something and I've holes in my personality that makes me undesirable or weak. My pros : I've got good looks and in shape. I don't give up and try hard. My cons: Kind of moody , I've ADHD (sort of - don't have laser focus..) and generally I feel I don't have strong personality. My father is not great in his social life and I've got the genes from him.So it makes sense to be in this situation , but we can change it right? Not having girls in my life, makes me angry and kind of disappointed to reach my goals. So, I am determined to change it and 'll do whatever it takes to change my life. Guys,how can I dramatically change myself internal? (inner game) How can I improve my social intelligence? Any book, guide, story, personal experience highly appreciated ! |
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| Author: | Tr@veler [ Fri May 04, 2012 11:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hi man, welcome. It's truly awesome you wish to change your life like this. It's an inspiration. First off, we all have flaws, so you must know it is nothing to be ashamed of. Do you know your "holes" that make you "undesirable" and "weak"? If you do you are already one step ahead. I will say this before anything else: accept your true self before you try to "change" your personality. I have found that there is actually no real changing to be done, but much more accepting of who I am, knowing myself better and at a deeper level. If you know who you are then your personality will reflect that. Your "holes" will start to disappear just by the fact that you are accepting your holes. Now, to get those girls you want. Get social. Do you have friends or acquaintances over there? If so find out if they ever go out. Go out as often as you can. Meet as many people as you can, girls and guys. I also suggest reading up on the classical PUA stuff, not for routines or anything like that, but to get a deeper understanding into what girls find attractive, how to know if a girl is attracted to you, and what attitude you should get into. The others probably have a ton of reading material to give you, but I myself have read up on The Game, by Neil Strauss, Mystery Method (though not my favorite anymore), Dicarlo's Escalation Ladder, 10 second sexual attraction...These are all pretty much the same stuff by different authors, slightly different. But as said, the others probably have much better reading material. And of course this forum. Read up a lot on here. You will get the hang of it soon enough. Good luck man! |
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| Author: | titanman [ Sat May 05, 2012 12:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Be yourself is the first step. I know it's a cliche but that seriously is the first step. Read up on inner game, learn that you are great. This is probably the hardest thing I've done in self improvement. Harder than any PUA method, bad habit killing etc. You have to learn how to learn to be yourself. It's just inner game, getting respect you deserve etc. I could spend hours writing how, just improve your confidence and you'll figure out how to be yourself. It really is hard to genuinely be you and takes a lot of time. You don't need to fully be yourself to have good game, it helps but I gamed without being completely myself. I'm still not myself, but I'm getting there. Live in your reality. |
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| Author: | ThexTallxNinja3 [ Sat May 05, 2012 12:36 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well for one you should stop rating yourself because looks are far more subjective for girls and her rating of your "looks" many times rises and falls depending on how you interact with her. Just be your best self honestly. Be you minus all the cons. If you feel you don't have a great personality you will exude it in your interactions. You have to believe that you are the prize and that they should want to get to know you better. |
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| Author: | Sly_Wolf [ Sat May 05, 2012 2:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Looks isn't as important to girls that's why you aren't having as much success. YOu should join a hobby like sports, martial arts, something you like. You will feel better about your life and socialize with like minded people. Be more social and friendly to people. Smile more. Maybe girls are intimidated by you, try to pinpoint the issue. Be laid back, relaxed and do things that are fun to you, while inviting girls. When they see you have fun, they will have fun with you. Practice positive thinking. Imagine yourself being successful in interactions and your attitude will change. |
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| Author: | Criss hell [ Sat May 05, 2012 8:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thank you guys for your responses. In 3 years I can say I've approached aroud 1000 girls which is a considerable number and I just had 4 cases which went some where. (1/250) So I know realized it doesn't work out for me and I have some problems. I go to gym 4 days a week for 1.5 hours. I love to work out. I still can't quite figure out what's my problem. I think I don't have enough charisma. I am not detail oriented and can't have a deep connection with the person. Also, when I try to change my mood or state,after a while I get back to weak mood and personality when I interact with people . I am not persistent to hold myself in strong personality.I hope you've got what I mean, I know that look doesn't play the main role and The reason I mentioned my look was that every success of mine was just based on my look which I think pretty bad. |
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| Author: | P-Style [ Sat May 05, 2012 9:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
You should stop being in your head. Start being indifferent to the given situation you are in a certain point. Do not prove yourself to her Same for humour: most people ARE funny, but are afraid for social consequences when making inappropriate jokes. I say socially inacceptable things all day, I've gotten shit tested on it a zillion times but I'll never apologize for who I am. Why would I? Now as for you're saying you're a 9: if you are - and why would you lie about this subject - there has got to be loads of interest coming from girls towards you. Maby your problem is you fail to recognize these signs. A girl who shows medium to more interest should be handled in a way you're testing her to your standards. Do not prove yourself to her. Take compliments like a boss. This is for the looks department, which you need to exploit far more. Look at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-unuqF4uklE This is excellent coverage on how to handle (and also create) female interest) When applying the I'm the shit attitude you'll get good results quite quickly. |
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