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LMR for 1 Night Stands Only Or Also Long Term Relationships?
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Author:  thykingdombuttwhip [ Wed Apr 25, 2012 4:25 am ]
Post subject:  LMR for 1 Night Stands Only Or Also Long Term Relationships?
I thought last minute resistance generally only occurs for one night stands due to shame. However, I had a gf who would do it all the time. I dumped her asexual ass since we rarely ever had sex (about once every 2 weeks). She would caress my abs or butt, but then when I'd try to take it further she'd back out, leaving me very frustrated. She had no history of sexual trauma. My theory is that she simply had a low sex drive. I'm open to hearing other possibilities though or stories from others who have had similar experiences.
Author:  JustTheBestMe [ Wed Apr 25, 2012 6:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Ok.. this is my personal idea on Last minute resistance.

I think there're many differenct factors that are needed ( technically speaking ) in seducing a woman.. there would be attraction, comfort, rapport.. anyway you would like to call them i actually found out it varies depending on the "school" you follow.

I think LMR is actually a signal that all the "parts of the puzzle" are not correctly assembled. That would mean maybe you attracte her.. you created comfort.. but there is too little turst.. ora maybe trust is fine but too little rapport. or comfort... or maybe you just have to work on sexual tension and geetting her ecxited.

Of course this is just my personal idea and i still think there will always be cases where LMR is just.. normal for the girl :)
Author:  P-Style [ Wed Apr 25, 2012 2:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
What did she say when you talked to her about it?
Author:  thykingdombuttwhip [ Wed Apr 25, 2012 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
What did she say when you talked to her about it?
I told her I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who has a low sex drive but I'd be willing to try just being friends with her. She claimed she's just been really busy and she was sorry and promised we'd have sex more often, so I gave her a second chance.

She was full of poop, she'd still come over to my pad and decline sex with me. I wouldn't be able to sleep at night because all I'd be thinking about is wanting to have sex with her, one night I went to masturbate in the other room when she declined me and she knew what I was doing. She said I'm going to make her feel guilty, and that she feels like she should be doing that for me. Apparently the guilt wasn't enough to change her behavior though cuz she still wouldn't take care of me. Ya, so I stopped letting her come over now.
Author:  thykingdombuttwhip [ Thu Apr 26, 2012 3:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Acting like an upset child throwing a tantrum is NOT a way to get a girl to want to have sex with you. Did you really think guilting into sex would work? You want her to feel sexy, not useless. From the sounds of it, you never actually talked to her about this. You gave her an ultimatum and never really cared what was going on with her. Her next boyfriend will probably get laid like a rock star, because he'll actually engage her emotions instead of treating her like a faulty pin cushion.
I think you've misinterpreted me. I went to masturbate because I was really horny and can't sleep like that.

Naw, I've only given brief information to avoid boring details. We talked about our lack of sex life a lot actually (she gave different reasons each time), it was a long time before I decided to end things with her.

I was her next boyfriend. Her last boyfriend apparently suffered the same trauma as me (it all adds up to low sex drive being the best fit). I only talked to him briefly. I'm considering calling him to ask him how he coped with it, because I was constantly stressed and didn't cope well (almost castrated myself).
Author:  JustTheBestMe [ Fri Apr 27, 2012 3:48 am ]
Post subject: 
I actually agree with what Hobbit said. Even tho there ARE girls with a real low sec drive.. they're very few compared to others and that is usually a sign of physical and psycological problems.

Usually it's just a matter of "unlocking" the desire by blowing up the reasons why she apply that kind of resistance. That could be the kind of education she's got from parents/church/society from when she was a child somehow.

Or ( this i've seen a LOT in my studies on relationships.. actually studied more than 100 cases until now ) is usually the man's fault for not beeing able to:

- Build a frame where SHE wants to seduce YOU.
- Reward her when she try to actually seduce you.
- Getting her excited by never endind to build sexual attraction

I usually do that like... 24hours a day with my girl... with texts and phone calls when we're not physically near and with touching when we are...

It's actually very funny to excite her by touching her legs or ass in a public place ( of course in a way only me and her know what's happening and no other people can actually see ) getting her horny and wanting sex a LOT when we're alone since she would like to in that exact moment but.. she CAN'T have it thou to the people around :P

of course then i can't know your situation in details so.. just assuming what could be/do :)
Author:  thykingdombuttwhip [ Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:02 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Are you sure she had a low sex drive? I've seen girls do a complete 180, under the right circumstances. I'm not saying low sex drives don't exist, I'm just saying it's statistically rare -- 'asexuals' are only about 1% of the population.
All signs point to yes. On the small chance I'm wrong, we're done, was just curious how many others experienced this and how they dealt/coped with it.

Low sex drive might not be as rare as asexual. Here's statistics I found.

- 92% of cohabiting heterosexual couples that have been together less than 2 years have sex at least once a week.
- 94% of homosexual male couples that have been together less than 2 years have sex at least once a week.
- 76% of homosexual female couples that have been together less than 2 years have sex at least once a week.
(Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983, p. 196)

It's possible that there are definitional problems with "sex" when it comes to lesbians, but it could also just be that a lot of females wouldn't care to have sex that often but do it either to please their boyfriend or are capable of being turned on and doing it more frequently than they'd spontaneously desire to. (Look at the discrepancy between heterosexual couples and lesbian couples.) Others just might not have much capacity to get put in the mood or don't care to please their boyfriend.

I'm open to hearing other explanations/comments for the discrepancy though!
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