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"Don't Ever Text Me Again"
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Author:  poodogr [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 2:40 am ]
Post subject:  "Don't Ever Text Me Again"
Hey guys,

Now I've got a story for you that really fits with the "You can't make this shit up" saying.

I went to a Meetup event about two weeks ago. Had a great time. Cool people all around.

The next morning I get an unusual email from a girl on the meetup site, who I don't know. She said "Hey, did you go to the Friday event? I couldn't make it :-( Would you like to get to know each other?

I reviewed her pictures and thought "Sure".

We texted some, she said I sound really sweet.

We met up, had a great time, she was throwing stuff out there like "let's go to Ocean City in your car one day soon. Deal?" (I had mentioned that I drove a Beamer z4, which I also used to drive her to her car that night.)

She said, as I dropped her off "Thanks so much for everything! We're definitely gonna do this again.!"

She texted me intermitently over the next few days, asking me stuff like how I did on a test which was part of a big deal- high-profile job interview.

A couple days later, understanding the whole principle that you only use romantic/pedestal-placing gestures with a girl once she feels like she's earned it (I certainly felt she had; she was going way out of her way), I texted her "So do I get to take you out this weekend?"

She said "Sure, how about Friday?"

I said Friday was great and invited her to my part of town, telling it was only like two exits up the highway from her.

She said no problem, and "Ahhh, so you mean your place?"

I told her sure, she should see my place at some point, but there're a lot of cool bars/restaurants right around where I live.

I assumed the conversation was done, and that we were on for Friday.

I texted her two days ago, afternoon-ish: Hey, can you be at my place around 7 Friday?

She wrote back: Not interested, don't ever text me again.

So I sent the one-time, permitted text a guy is allowed to send a girl who sends a 180, "don't ever contact me again" message: "I don't understand. What happened?"

No response.

Thoughts?

Because you fuckin got me if you want an explanation. I've laid out everything that happened.

Seriously, this is the kind of shit that will make guys stay home.

They'll sit in the house all weekend, taking shots, ordering pizza, and watching blue-rays by themselves.

We've put in the effort. We've seen what that effort gets us. So for fucks sake, does throwing in the towel sound crazy?

- Rob
Author:  Chris2k10 [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:41 am ]
Post subject: 
She's an insecure bitch. She knows you want to fuck.

"Not interested, don't ever text me again."
"Listen to me. I'm going to be honest with you, you are sexy and I think you're a cool girl and it's your fault that you turn me on so much but I will never apologize for what I want. It was a pleasure knowing you Isabel."

You have nothing to lose man. Have some balls and text her that, let me know what she says.
Author:  poodogr [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 4:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Isn't that giving everybody the warrant, or go-ahead to start up in the beginnings of a relationship, then act psycho and tell you to never contact them again?

I suppose I answered my own question. A girl who does that is obviously mental one way or another.

Best to call it quits I suppose, but I still can't reconcile that "you can't make this shit up" / "This just doesn't happen to people...What the fuck is going on here?"

Obviously moving on, but just saying.....

A lot of guys are staying home because of shit like this.
Author:  poodogr [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She's an insecure bitch. She knows you want to fuck.

"Not interested, don't ever text me again."
"Listen to me. I'm going to be honest with you, you are sexy and I think you're a cool girl and it's your fault that you turn me on so much but I will never apologize for what I want. It was a pleasure knowing you Isabel."

You have nothing to lose man. Have some balls and text her that, let me know what she says.
Ahhh, you're referring to Shock & Awe: blaming her for being hot and turning you on.

I've heard it works best in bars/clubs; either way...

Sadly, before I could ramp up S & A, she really did treat me like a stalker after that 180 message; I'd prefer not to have a restraining order or some shit like that. At closer to midnight of the day she sent me the 180 msg, she texted me: "Please don't text me again.". My txt was telling her too bad it worked out like this bc she was looking for a job w the gov and wanted me to ask around, and my hiring director had said "Well, let me see her resume."

And to that I *STILL* get "Don't ever contact me again."

Again, go figure. I've relayed this story to several guys who've responded: "Cuz girls are dumb man, forget ever dating a girl and anything coming from it."
Author:  CaptainJackHarkness [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Of course you got this response.

It's called plausible fucking deniability. Please read up on this shit. Very amateur mistake m8. You should have said lets hang out. If she questions anything like that Ahh you mean YOUR place? Don't jump into the frame. Simply reframe it. "Hey hey..stop getting those ideas. We only met once!"

It's called Frame Transformation....

Adam Lyons 101.

Under21Convention. Youtube it.
Author:  poodogr [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Of course you got this response.

It's called plausible fucking deniability. Please read up on this shit. Very amateur mistake m8. You should have said lets hang out. If she questions anything like that Ahh you mean YOUR place? Don't jump into the frame. Simply reframe it. "Hey hey..stop getting those ideas. We only met once!"

It's called Frame Transformation....

Adam Lyons 101.

Under21Convention. Youtube it.
I appreciate your contributing to the discussion and all, but the "Your place" was seen as more flirty than anything, and the drastic "Don't ever contact me again" even shows more that this was more of an advanced game issue.

This was not a game obstacle course as it were.

And Adam Lyons' stuff is a load too; I've participated on his stuff, plus, read 1-vt50862.html?start=0
Author:  CaptainJackHarkness [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 7:11 am ]
Post subject: 
No. This was not an "advanced game issue" This was simply being terrible at plausible deniability and she took your intentions as creepy and wanting to get something out of her. Who texts a girl "by the way you should totally drop by my place" or along these lines. Simply have her pick you up and buzz her in or let her in.

I mean it sounded like you got to A3 with the girl and were well on your way to C1-C2.
Author:  Don Horneone [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
No. This was not an "advanced game issue" This was simply being terrible at plausible deniability and she took your intentions as creepy and wanting to get something out of her. Who texts a girl "by the way you should totally drop by my place" or along these lines. Simply have her pick you up and buzz her in or let her in.
I take your point the plausible deniability could have been better, but to be fair what he actually said was:
Quote:
I said Friday was great and invited her to my part of town, telling it was only like two exits up the highway from her.

She said no problem, and "Ahhh, so you mean your place?"

I told her sure, she should see my place at some point, but there're a lot of cool bars/restaurants right around where I live.
Sounds like he tried to deflect from the idea rather than actively encouraging it. It certainly doesn't explain this:
Quote:
She wrote back: Not interested, don't ever text me again.
Can we all just acknowledge for a moment that that's pretty fucked up, whether or not the OP handled things perfectly?
Quote:
I've relayed this story to several guys who've responded: "Cuz girls are dumb man, forget ever dating a girl and anything coming from it."
You'd be better off not asking those guys for advice again, whoever they are
Author:  CaptainJackHarkness [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 11:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Lol..forget dating a girl..yea bad advice.

In any case, yea for her to do that through text is harsh..but its more direct than the polite "never to be heard from again."
Author:  Consequences_ [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Either she is fucking mental or your leaving something out that happened.

Idk how your personality is live but just from your text messages you seem quite boring.

Also, her "Don't text me again" could have actually not been her. But if she didn't text you within 3-4 days than it probably was.

Also, could have been a shit test. Again, unlikely, but I maybe would have tried to play off of it.

You said some strange things so it's likely that she got cold feet on ya. Regardless her response was out of line.
Author:  thedocta [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think every guy has had the experience of seeing a girl who seems super interested, then all of a sudden for apparently no reason (or some incredibly minor reason) goes completely silent and never wants to talk to you again. What she said was heartless and bitchy but it's heartless and bitchy to go silent as well, I think that could be just an issue of minor personality differences in the way she handles the urge to never see you again.

The real question is why girls get those urges which are so confusing to men because we don't get them. My best guess is that it's because they view attractiveness as being 99% behavioral, and some subtle cue indicating that you might be interested just in sex or something even if it's not true instantly makes you become so unattractive that she doesn't even care to find out if it's true. Regardless of whether or not this is true, it's my best guess, and it's probably a good mindset because at least it allows you to think of it as being a problem with her rather than a problem with you.

Best thing to do if she completely blows you off like that is to not respond and let her go. If she didn't mean it she'll contact you back again and you'll be in power position. If she did mean it then she doesn't want anything to do with you. If you wait enough time you might try contacting her again and she'll probably have forgotten or at least the emotions that made her not want to see you might be gone...however...you'll know that she is a crazy bitch who might flip at any time, so do you even want to? prolly not.
Author:  poodogr [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Someone always throws in the "you sounded boing" comment whenever someone's asking for advice, and to tell you he trith, I'm getting a little sick of it.

You don't have to be this clever, funny, dancing monkey in every single text you send a girl! Sure as fuck not when you're just working out the logistics of a date.

For fucks sake, she told me "I sounded sweet" and even agreed to the Friday thing later.

This "you sounded boring", from my pov at least, is just an easy way out and another way of telling the OP he's got a long way to go and/ or should pick up this or that product.
Author:  Don Horneone [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Don't Ever Text Me Again"
Another thought about this situation...
Quote:
The next morning I get an unusual email from a girl on the meetup site, who I don't know. She said "Hey, did you go to the Friday event? I couldn't make it :-( Would you like to get to know each other?
Her initiative.
Quote:
she was throwing stuff out there like "let's go to Ocean City in your car one day soon. Deal?"
Her initiative.
Quote:
She said...."We're definitely gonna do this again.!"
Her initiative.
Quote:
She texted me intermitently over the next few days
Her initiative.
Quote:
I texted her "So do I get to take you out this weekend?"

...etc etc etc...
YOUR initiative!

It seems like she had control of this situation from the start, and it's only once you tried to grab the reins that she started giving you shit. I could be wrong, but maybe she wanted to be the one calling the shots and once you started complicating things by trying to make your own arrangements, she just bailed.

Of course, it could be that she thought you were evil for possibly wanting sex, but to me it sounds far more plausible that she just wanted you to be her "dancing monkey" and as soon as you weren't playing that role, she was, well, "not interested".

No bad reflection on you mate, but if you come across a girl that wants to dominate her relationship with you, you might wanna play it cool and not allow her to call the shots the way she did here. Once she's started things that way, she won't want to let you be the man, even though that's what you are...
Author:  Don Horneone [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 7:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Someone always throws in the "you sounded boing" comment whenever someone's asking for advice, and to tell you he trith, I'm getting a little sick of it.

You don't have to be this clever, funny, dancing monkey in every single text you send a girl! Sure as fuck not when you're just working out the logistics of a date.

For fucks sake, she told me "I sounded sweet" and even agreed to the Friday thing later.

This "you sounded boring", from my pov at least, is just an easy way out and another way of telling the OP he's got a long way to go and/ or should pick up this or that product.
Also, this kind of anger will consume you if you let it.
Author:  VV Cephei [ Sat Apr 21, 2012 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
There is a chance this chick could have had a bad experience in the past and carries around baggage as a result.

What I mean is that maybe she had a guy before invite her back to his place, she went, and maybe he was quite pushy etc, you get the idea. Things like that happen and aren't uncommon at all.

So maybe she got uncomfortable with the idea, didn't know how to react or just got emotional all of a sudden and told you don't bother contacting her again. Either way, from what you described, that response came from left field and seems harsh, no doubt. Who knows, don't get down about it, most girls won't be like that, you just got unlucky with this one.
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