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e-mail game, I'm a horrible person apparently!
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Author:  Wigster [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:  e-mail game, I'm a horrible person apparently!
Situation. Girl at work. Very early on in game (and I am not necessarily looking for f-closure, just want to... hell, I'm not sure yet!). Anyway, some nice IOI's; smiles, eye-contact, using my name, asking if I am going to the party this Friday.

Yesterday I was at a lunch with a VIP. She had not been invited. After I teased her with the quality of the food, the canapés were actually very good. She responded well to tease.

This morning, not too early, more like 'you just popped into my head', I sent her an e-mail and just got a reply:

Me: Did I mention the little, mini cream cakes? :)

Her: Now that was just totally unnecessary... Talk about rubbing salt in a wound :) you're a horrible person!!


Now - a delay in reply, I think... But what should it be?!!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: e-mail game, I'm a horrible person apparently!
Quote:
Me: Did I mention the little, mini cream cakes? :)

Her: Now that was just totally unnecessary... Talk about rubbing salt in a wound :) you're a horrible person!!


Now - a delay in reply, I think... But what should it be?!!
Not as horrible as the "cream cakes :) but good in many other ways :) :) "
Author:  Wigster [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
She is a slight little thing, which I am just itching to tease her about. So what about setting that up for the future with:

I know, I should learn to pick on people my own size. But I couldn't resist!

(leave ambiguous as to whether her or tease I could not resist).
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 2:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Try this reply



"My kids would really be fucked if it was found out that I'm trying to fuck you - not to mention my wife would leave me, I'd potentially lose my job for fraternization and all of this over a piece of ass I'm not sure I can get"


What the fuck man?

Damn.

Married, KIDS, and you're trying to shit where you eat fucking a colleague who KNOWS you're married?

Fucking wow.
Author:  Wigster [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Try this reply



"My kids would really be fucked if it was found out that I'm trying to fuck you - not to mention my wife would leave me, I'd potentially lose my job for fraternization and all of this over a piece of ass I'm not sure I can get"


What the fuck man?

Damn.

Married, KIDS, and you're trying to shit where you eat fucking a colleague who KNOWS you're married?

Fucking wow.
That's really the same as a previous response Rodeo! And I know, you may be a bit narked that I appear not to have accepted your advice. It is there though, it is in my thinking and is at least influencing my decision making.

I'm not looking to fuck this girl, though. There are significant obstacles to that in any event and I am not minded to get over them.
Author:  charblad [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 7:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: e-mail game, I'm a horrible person apparently!
Quote:
This morning, not too early, more like 'you just popped into my head', I sent her an e-mail and just got a reply:

Me: Did I mention the little, mini cream cakes? :)

Her: Now that was just totally unnecessary... Talk about rubbing salt in a wound :) you're a horrible person!!
THAT'S CALLED FLIRTING MY FRIEND, it's just a type of playful banter! She's doing a test to see if you're confident enough to be her man, and apparently you're failing at it - never let a woman's comments bring you down or control you, or you'll just be "another friend"

I don't suggest the whole "I know, I should learn to pick on people my own size. But I couldn't resist!" thing because she could become genuinely offended if she takes it as you meaning "i should pick on someone my own size, not someone small like you"

Get her number, talk/meet with her in person, e-mail is the WORST way to communicate with a woman (the ONLY thing you should be e-mailing a woman is a request for her number) and whatever cocky/funny crap you try to pull in a e-mail will be read wrong and ruin the relationship
Author:  Wigster [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: e-mail game, I'm a horrible person apparently!
Quote:
She's doing a test to see if you're confident enough to be her man, and apparently you're failing at it - never let a woman's comments bring you down or control you, or you'll just be "another friend"
Could you expand your thinking on this one a bit? Or even a lot?


Quote:
I don't suggest the whole "I know, I should learn to pick on people my own size. But I couldn't resist!" thing because she could become genuinely offended if she takes it as you meaning "i should pick on someone my own size, not someone small like you"
In which case I may gave already crashed and burned... maybe tomorrow will tell!


Quote:
e-mail is the WORST way to communicate with a woman (the ONLY thing you should be e-mailing a woman is a request for her number) and whatever cocky/funny crap you try to pull in a e-mail will be read wrong and ruin the relationship
e-mail here has only been a very small part of the process. Do you go as far as to say not to use e-mail at all, like ever? In asking that I totally know what you mean and have seen so many examples in non-game situations, text, e-mail - all very easy to get the meaning wrong. Which begs the question... what the hell was I doing?!



And finally what would your response have been? And I include in your range of answers non-e-mail responses, obviously!



And really, really finally, let's say I have hit a bad note on this one, oh, reply was something like "And so very brave to tease someone of your stature! :) " So, a bit too similar to the answer you reckon was a bad 'un.... what is your damage assessment and what are your recommendations for getting back in there?
Author:  TLEE [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
charblad wrote:
She's doing a test to see if you're confident enough to be her man, and apparently you're failing at it - never let a woman's comments bring you down or control you, or you'll just be "another friend"


Could you expand your thinking on this one a bit? Or even a lot?
She isn't offended, when she say's your horrible, like char said, she is testing you, Some men would be worried if she was offended and say "sorry i didn't mean it", but your not some men are you? Your THE man, I would continue the teasing.

Saying about her height isn't terrible BUT it is better in person is better because with facial expressions (smiling, smirking, Kino) she can tell a lot more when you are joking and is less likely to be taken the wrong way.

Good luck And Happy Gaming
Author:  Wigster [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 9:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
charblad wrote:
She's doing a test to see if you're confident enough to be her man, and apparently you're failing at it - never let a woman's comments bring you down or control you, or you'll just be "another friend"


Could you expand your thinking on this one a bit? Or even a lot?
She isn't offended, when she say's your horrible, like char said, she is testing you, Some men would be worried if she was offended and say "sorry i didn't mean it", but your not some men are you? Your THE man, I would continue the teasing.

Saying about her height isn't terrible BUT it is better in person is better because with facial expressions (smiling, smirking, Kino) she can tell a lot more when you are joking and is less likely to be taken the wrong way.

Good luck And Happy Gaming
Oh, heavens! I knew that she was flirting when she said I was horrible!! Her reply made me grin inside! More worried about offense from the reply to the reply.

Shall I find an excuse to pass by her tomorrow? She is in fact restricted from approaching me at work, I'm in a secure office within a secure building. She's just in the building.

How about I pass by her desk in the morning and wish her, 'Good morning Miss Minipenny!' with a big smirk? Geography will allow me to assess any e-mail reply before I do so.
Author:  charblad [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: e-mail game, I'm a horrible person apparently!
Quote:
Could you expand your thinking on this one a bit? Or even a lot?

In which case I may gave already crashed and burned... maybe tomorrow will tell!

e-mail here has only been a very small part of the process. Do you go as far as to say not to use e-mail at all, like ever? In asking that I totally know what you mean and have seen so many examples in non-game situations, text, e-mail - all very easy to get the meaning wrong. Which begs the question... what the hell was I doing?!

And finally what would your response have been? And I include in your range of answers non-e-mail responses, obviously!

And really, really finally, let's say I have hit a bad note on this one, oh, reply was something like "And so very brave to tease someone of your stature! :) " So, a bit too similar to the answer you reckon was a bad 'un.... what is your damage assessment and what are your recommendations for getting back in there?
#1 Eddiee seems to have explained it well (thank you), to expand - a woman wants a man who wouln't cry and apologize everytime she doesn't like something, she wants a man who's strong, secure, and confident; if you are weak and she can control you you have none of those traits.

#2 It was more of a suggestion than a requirement, it's not the worst reply you could've sent

#3 E-mail is acceptable to get/use, you Shouldn't use e-mail at all if you can, but if that's what you got it's what you got; just try to get to the next step (#close and set up a day2) asap (you can get stuck in the "e-mail buddy" zone very quickly, move out of this space FAST)

#4 Something like "i'll give you a chance to get me back, why don't we go to the bakery Wednesday right after work and eat some (insert food here)" is one example, there's 100's of options though depending on your situation

#5 Bad lol, first off that was a boring reply, she has no reason to e-mail you back and probably wouln't; second it has nothing in it, you want to do one of a few things - get her number, set up a date/day2, add sexual tension, or have some playful banter (in that order) - look at your e-mail with knowing it should have one of those in mind next time
Quote:
Saying about her height isn't terrible BUT it is better in person is better because with facial expressions (smiling, smirking, Kino) she can tell a lot more when you are joking and is less likely to be taken the wrong way.
Yes
Author:  charblad [ Wed Apr 18, 2012 10:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
How about I pass by her desk in the morning and wish her, 'Good morning Miss Minipenny!' with a big smirk?
Also - NO please for the love of god don't do that lol
Try thinking about it this way, she's a girl who has 20 guys hit on her every other day, if those guys see her passing by what do you think they will say - chances are 18/20 of them will say "good morning *nickname*" DON'T be those guys (those guys obviously arn't dating her, do you expect different results)
Try to say something unique, or just wait for her to say something (i'd suggest the first one)
Author:  hairypua [ Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:08 am ]
Post subject: 
what's her zodiac? if i know that i can maybe tell you how to get layed lol
Author:  jcombs [ Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:14 am ]
Post subject:  Dont do it...
I know many have already said it but i should warn you that maybe flirting with work employee is totally red flag!

The first part is work is a place where you earn your bread and butter its best to keep it that way and anything outside of work is perfectly fine as long as you keep the daily stuff in check. The next thing to know is that you should really not send flirty emails during work time or in general its evidence she has at hand to use against you if anything goes wrong (Sexual assault, harrassement). She may be hot but dont do it during work hours and if best not at all since if anyone finds out they may report it too the heads of the office or word may spread that you are dating and people would think your more about each other then the actual work being done.

Trust me dont risk your job over sex with the hottest employee at work!
Author:  titanman [ Thu Apr 19, 2012 12:25 am ]
Post subject: 
It's all been said but she was teasing you.

You return by teasing back or something I like to do is go along with it. "Yeah I'm so horrible, my parents put me up for adoption once I could start talking" something like that.

I don't think going along with it is AFCish/bad??
Author:  Wigster [ Thu Apr 19, 2012 6:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank guys, plenty to work with. I'll assess damage this morning - see what is in e-mail inbox. Assuming nothing how about walk past and compliment. If able to isolate tell her then and there that I'll make it up to her with a cream bun at lunch time (liking that line) and if can't isolate do the same by e-mail. How does that sound?
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