I am having trouble with the changes I’ve seen.
I re-read this afterword and it almost sounded like bitching or complaining. This is not where Im coming from at all. Im happy with my progress.
Before “slightly/moderate improvement”
Overly nice
Overly thoughtful
Put others before me
Put women before me
Thought of others needs prior to myself
All comfort game with women
Lacked confidence
Lacked divisiveness
Now:
We go out and the other night and if people were no talking to me then they were not having fun. Wtf? (this rarely happens but it did the other night)
My success reflects on others failures. Some friends of mine (not anymore/the insecure ones) secretly despise me. (Lost a best friend but it’s a good thing.)
Don’t know how to deal with being ‘alpha’ (I read a post forgot who put it up but said alpha was who can control the energy/mood/feeling of the interaction). Its great but people look to you and I just want to have fun.
Now my 2 cents is worth its weight in gold and people look to me. Im a natural introvert usually I just wanna chill and go with the flow.
Can’t deal with compliments. I say, “thank you” (Although I think I need to re-direct right after to change the dialolgue. Still feels like I’m cutting them out.)
Guys look up to me like I know a ton about girls cause I can talk to them. I hate it. Makes me feel like they are imposing a “player” identity on me. It does not help that Im fairly good looking with kinda long hair. If I wear a white shirt I look like a total ladies man. Fantastic but I don’t want the identity. Not that one. Not sure which one…
Experiencing the pit falls of beginning a massive internal change.
My behavior has changed although I don’t know how to respond to how people respond to me. Im not used to having such high social value. (“such high” is like an overstatement although compared to the passed its high to me)
I could be alone and disappear and no one would really care. Now everyone looks to me for fun or what to do next. This is actually pretty cool
Anyway these examples might suck but overall im just having “inconsistencies” with the change. Regardless Im pushing on and I know that these things will sort themselves out. Although I am looking for a few wise words.
I have a loooooong way to go..