PUA Forum :: does one every re-gain alpha status with a chick

yeah i mean, i made the mistake with "breaking up" SO many times to the point where last night it really did seem and i can't blame her, that she didnt take me serious. That's how I know that this time it needs to be either for good because my mindset and lifestyle changes will attract OTHER pursuits and ideas of fulfillment OR have no contact for a long time so she understands that I have the balls to do so. I don't feel as if she baited me in to it, but it got the point where if she did, I couldn't blame her by the way I've been just stalling in my life, said that, it makes me think of that quote if she can't handle me at my worst than she doesn't deserve me at my best. So idk, the answer for me "i feel" is end it and have no feelings of fixing it and just live day by day and see what the future brings and how i feel.

Author:	NYCguy [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 7:48 pm ]
Post subject:	does one every re-gain alpha status with a chick
I'm talking where it's been lost pretty convincingly. I think the only way is to break up with the girl and see if she fights the break up or comes crawling back and sees you in a different light. i suppose one could show her you are out in public with other HB's but that's not really possible because we don't hang out in the same parts of town.

Author:	Bsmooth [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:12 pm ]
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i actually just broke up with my GF because of this reason. ALthough the AFC part of me is back in full swing, i still knew from various hints if the girl doesn't see you as the shit (because you're living a lifestyle, have a mentality of one) than it can only go downhill. But i could be wrong, any veterans have experience about this?

Author:	NYCguy [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:18 pm ]
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well i think it also depends on if she ever say you as the shit and you broke down at a certain point. Perhaps some distance will take away her bad memories and she starts to miss you. I just think the breakup is the most powerful tool there is when you know it's caving in bad. She won't believe you had the balls to break up and as long as you don't contact her for a few weeks she may start to think about you in a better light. Also, no one wants to be on the receiving end of a breakup. No matter how well she takes it now, she will be a bit weirded out by the fact that this lap dog broke up with her. Unless that's what she was hoping for anyways and was baiting you to do it through her shit SPAM Again if there are other techniques that work, I'd love to hear them.

Author:	Bsmooth [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:31 pm ]
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yeah i mean, i made the mistake with "breaking up" SO many times to the point where last night it really did seem and i can't blame her, that she didnt take me serious. That's how I know that this time it needs to be either for good because my mindset and lifestyle changes will attract OTHER pursuits and ideas of fulfillment OR have no contact for a long time so she understands that I have the balls to do so. I don't feel as if she baited me in to it, but it got the point where if she did, I couldn't blame her by the way I've been just stalling in my life, said that, it makes me think of that quote if she can't handle me at my worst than she doesn't deserve me at my best. So idk, the answer for me "i feel" is end it and have no feelings of fixing it and just live day by day and see what the future brings and how i feel.

Author:	asesino [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 8:49 pm ]
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Quote: yeah i mean, i made the mistake with "breaking up" SO many times to the point where last night it really did seem and i can't blame her, that she didnt take me serious. That's how I know that this time it needs to be either for good because my mindset and lifestyle changes will attract OTHER pursuits and ideas of fulfillment OR have no contact for a long time so she understands that I have the balls to do so. I don't feel as if she baited me in to it, but it got the point where if she did, I couldn't blame her by the way I've been just stalling in my life, said that, it makes me think of that quote if she can't handle me at my worst than she doesn't deserve me at my best. So idk, the answer for me "i feel" is end it and have no feelings of fixing it and just live day by day and see what the future brings and how i feel. How could you blame her for anything you when you repeatedly cheated on her u donkey lol

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Author:	Bsmooth [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 9:01 pm ]
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lol, u don't have a clue. any post of yours will promptly be disregarded

Author:	NYCguy [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 9:05 pm ]
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Does anyone think the guy should ever re-approach after dumping the girl? I mean in most breakup forums they say only the dumper should re-approach but if you were beta to her and you re approach then you end up back in beta, even if it after two months

Author:	Bsmooth [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:28 pm ]
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i think what's more important to consider if you do decide to re approach is, "am I a better human being that anyone would naturally be attracted to?". If you really think 2 months of soul searching and self improvement has put you in a state of high quality than sure go for it and she COULDN'T make you beta because you are not after her validation. I'd personally wait until you are at the top of your game and life is brighter by the day and then see if you still want to get back together and if you do all that self improvement couldn't possible go to shit by a simple interaction with her, she couldn't possibly take your hard work away from you..got me?

Author:	NYCguy [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:56 pm ]
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I know that helps in the general mindset sense, i'm just not sure practically speaking if it ever makes sense to re-approach her. For about 6 weeks I failed some shit tests and became an AFC, before that we were fine. Now I broke up with her which shows some balls. If she starts to respect me she will reach out i guess. For me to reach out and not appear AFC, will be tough. I just don't know how much damage I've done. Fuckin chick could be laughing at me to her friends right now, who knows. Or she could be thinking, shit I took him for granted and I want him back. Personally I see no way to re-approach and be a new alpha to her. that self-improvement stuff is fine, but I want someone here to tell me if they have done it successful and what they did differently, besides the whole show up with chicks in clubs and let her see and make her jealous.

Author:	Bsmooth [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:07 am ]
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im not talking about some bullshit abstraction. Sure it is a mindset but I dont think you understood what im saying. The MINDSET comes from ACTIONS on your behalf, the mindset can't be helped if you ACT like an alpha male. Thinking and not doing won't cut it....sure re approaching can def happen but you gotta change your lifestyle into what a high status male would be. The mindset that comes from that is inevitable but it's only a by product.

Author:	Bsmooth [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:09 am ]
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the idea of her thinking about you is "damn, you changed" because you really DID change and you are no longer the guy you were but a better, smarter, fast, more successful version. Don't ever think that once a beta always a beta else you're basically saying this whole forum and PUA isn't possible.

Author:	NYCguy [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 12:21 am ]
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Yeah i hear you. for now i got to just not focus on her (tough part) and just focus on things that make me feel more alpha - chicks. Ironically I hooked up this yoga chick a few days ago, and we ended up back at her place, contorting our bodies into all kinds of positions. That was some good shit haha Meeting her tomorrow also. Was supposed to go on a date tonight with a new chick but she got stuck at work so pushed her back to next week (if at all). Got one sunday as well who's new. The only alpha I understand is meeting and spending time with lots of chicks. The week before I met my gf i had banged 3 chicks all on first dates from some online stuff. Not trying to brag, but to your point I agree that the guy she met was that guy. Totally relaxed, getting laid, meeting chicks, having adventures. Then I became an AFC to her and she hated it and I hated it. Also a bit of one-itis which I need to get rid of. After that, just gonna try to get out more with friends, work out more, and keep trying to stick my dick into some wet pussy holes till I'm back to normal. haha

Author:	Bsmooth [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 3:09 am ]
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Dude, my initial response was "dont only worry about fucking, blah , blah" but for real whatever makes you feel good about yourself and it does NOT come from external sources, is always a good thing. As long as you don't look at having sex as a means to making yourself feel good, but you feel so damn good and put out such good vibes that girls will naturally want to have sex with you than you can only win and enhance the appreciation of life and the world around you AND get laid.

Author:	Slip n Slide [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 4:48 am ]
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Quote: yeah i mean, i made the mistake with "breaking up" SO many times to the point where last night it really did seem and i can't blame her, that she didnt take me serious. That's how I know that this time it needs to be either for good OR have no contact for a long time so she understands that I have the balls to do so. I have a rule for myself personally. Every break up is permanent. Once you've broken up the first time, you're bound to do it again and again, and create more pain in the relationship until the two of you finally let it die. There is nothing wrong with letting her know that you CAN leave, and that you have other options, but break ups for me are set in stone. Haven't read this whole thread, but looks like you guys are helping each other out.

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Author:	NYCguy [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 5:42 am ]
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Just got back after meeting a few friends of mine and one of them really schooled me on what was going on with this chick. I guess I must have had easy relationships because this current chick just gave me the game that high value ny chicks play on men. I mean I told him all the games of hot and cold, and cancelling dates last minute etc, he said it was all classic stuff certain girls here play. It's like elaborate shit tests and they will keep playing them and you have to give it as good as you get it. I didn't give it back so she kept playing with me, diminishing my value. He said if you had froze her out a while back or flaked on a few dates she would've increased her interest. Funny thing is I ended it with the ultimate question which was is this girl done with me, he reckons as long as she kept calling you she was undecided but would continue to send mix messages until you either manned up or fell to far down. Because i had done so much afc damage, the only move now was to back off and say let's take a break while you focus on your studies. It's risky, but flaking on dates on her now would be too obvious and telegraphed and too damage had been done. This move shows you are not gonna take her shit anymore and can walk away if you want to. She will now see if I stick with my word and he reckons no contact at all.She has to contact me, even if it's 3 months from now. Otherwise I could run into her somewhere but it has to be accidental and then she has to feel like I'm totally over her for her to see me in a new light. I know i'm obsessing over this too much, but I mostly just wanted to point this out and at least now this all (including what I thought was her cruelty) makes sense now. Granted I think it sucks and is a big fuckin annoyance, but for a lot of chicks here, who think of themselves as a big prize, you have to play this game to win them over. Amazing...