PUA Forum :: Girls look at me alot :/ i dont have any confidence to appro

how to introduce myself/get a conversation going,

Easy, Walk up to a piece of equipment HB is using and ask: "How many sets do you have left?, by the way I'm _____"

"How many sets do you have left?, by the way I'm _____"

I'm not a very confident person, I struggle to start conversation, I get intimidated/anxious etc.

I wanted to meet new/more people so a couple of months ago joined a gym.

Theres a few girls that make eye contact with me quite frequently when I go to the gym. Part of me is thinking there into me, part is thinking well they could be just looking at me because I keep looking at them and I should stop before I get too creepy.

Let's break this down:

.

Chai wrote:

Let's break this down:

.

I did not insinuate interruption at any time, of course wait until she has finished her set, I would think that would go without saying. But maybe not with some people.

Always, I am polite. but to the point and brash!

As far as a cold approach, while they are working out, I do it all the time! Have yet to have negative feedback.

If they seem new, I ask if they would like pointers, on form and use. Perfect opportunity for kino & comfort.

Just because you would not do it that way, does not mean it's wrong!

I have F closed at least 6 HBs from the gym alone. Three weeks ago, was HB9 figure competitor. I am close to closing a 24 y/o body builder.

But thanks for your input,

Heywood

Once again, different strokes...

If one method works for one person, that's cool. Good for him. I'm not here to flame his approach - I'm here to see how I can offer any input that may give a new strategy - and in turn, find potentially new strategies for myself as well...

To the OP - where are you in terms of learning your game? Sounds like it may be at the very beginning... if so, no worries - approach everyone. You're going to look like a tool more times than you can imagine - big deal? Each time you do, you learn - each time you learn, you don't repeat that mistake, each time you practice you progress.

Live it, learn it, love it.

Author:	Sam207 [ Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Girls look at me alot :/ i dont have any confidence to appro
Hi. I'm not a very confident person, I struggle to start conversation, I get intimidated/anxious etc. I wanted to meet new/more people so a couple of months ago joined a gym. Theres a few girls that make eye contact with me quite frequently when I go to the gym. Part of me is thinking there into me, part is thinking well they could be just looking at me because I keep looking at them and I should stop before I get too creepy. Ideally, I would like to just walk up to one of them say - Hi, Im Sam, How are you? - and then start a conversation. But because of anxiety my mind usually goes blank, I struggle finding things to say, and/or talk myself out of approaching them. I guess I just want some advice on body language, like are they looking at me because there interested or because they need to know im not stalking them. And then how to introduce myself/get a conversation going, where im not boring/childish/self centered/invasive or anything else which would make them not want to talk to me. Thanks

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Apr 12, 2012 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Girls look at me alot :/ i dont have any confidence to appro
Quote: how to introduce myself/get a conversation going, Easy, Walk up to a piece of equipment HB is using and ask: "How many sets do you have left?, by the way I'm _____"

Author:	Chai [ Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:23 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Easy, Walk up to a piece of equipment HB is using and ask: "How many sets do you have left?, by the way I'm _____" That's the wrong way to go about it first of all (I'll explain in a second) and apart from that...why would you want to go up to a HB and interrupt her workout? Apart from the bad gym ethic you're getting an IOD (Indicator of Dis-Interest) from her. If I was working out and someone started asking me questions while I'm in the zone I'd get frustrated...especially if it was a kid. Let's break this down: Quote: "How many sets do you have left?, by the way I'm _____" Noob answer. You don't just walk straight up and say "How many sets do you have left?", it's sloppy and rude and it breaks the most cardinal rule in the gym: DONT TALK TO ME DURING SET. I've been in gym and if you try to distract someone by bugging them in some way while their trying to focus that is turned into a major turn off and they'll be less inclined to talk to you. You SHOULD instead wait for her to finish up her reps and go over and say "Hi, sorry to bother you, I was over at the Spinning Machine and just wanted to say I noticed you seem to have really nice form I had to come over and meet you, I'm Sam". See the difference? By apologizing in the beginning for interrupting her you are getting that acceptance to talk to her appropriately. Also, since you waited for her to finish she is less likely to push you away, she may even thank you and give you some pointers for your workout. After that you can ask if you can work out with her and take it from there. Easy.

Author:	Chai [ Thu Apr 12, 2012 10:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I'm not a very confident person, I struggle to start conversation, I get intimidated/anxious etc. I wanted to meet new/more people so a couple of months ago joined a gym. Theres a few girls that make eye contact with me quite frequently when I go to the gym. Part of me is thinking there into me, part is thinking well they could be just looking at me because I keep looking at them and I should stop before I get too creepy. If you want to meet more people and get your confidence up, the gym isn't the best place to start in my opinion Too much ego and concentrated rage is brought into that space only too often... the people aren't there to make friends, their there to improve their bodies and hurt some punching bags. Move away from that environment as it's not the most lucrative source to start creating your circle. You also seem to be anxious and lacking confidence, you need to improve your inner game first Yesterday I dedicated a great post to the newbies specifically dealing with their problems relating to Approach Anxiety and how you can start to overcome it...check it out in the 'Introduce Yourself' section of the forum, it'll be there on the front page as it's brand new. Look out for Is your AA holding you back from approaching her? Read this. It can help you. As far as you're body language is concerned, read Alexander Technique. I read it a while back, after many years I still use it today. Hope that helps.

Author:	mapleleaf [ Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:13 pm ]
Post subject:
i would say that if you are having some AA, just dont think of picking her up. Just casually start a conversaiton like she is your sister or she is your friend. the more girls you talk to the better you get. start with older women, then middle aged women, then women around age. just dont think too much, play it casually and nicely. give a friendly and masculine vibe.

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Author:	Costa-T [ Thu Apr 12, 2012 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:
The only way to improve your confidence is by going there and talk to girls. I know you might find it hard but that's the only way. Just like how impossible it was for us to jump in the water when we were young and about to learn swimming. Once you get the hang of it then it becomes an easy hobby . To start conversations with girls at the gym in a cocky interesting way is by using this 'hey you, i saw you looking at me and i knew you wouldn't come and say hi because maybe you're shy?! or unless you think you're too cool for me which i doubt ' make her laugh, that's what you need, for her to have a big smile on her face from speaking to you

Author:	asesino [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:23 am ]
Post subject:
Gym can be a tricky place to meet women. Some are there specifically to workout and not be bothered. And yes, just because your gym may have a women's only section and she's working out in the coed section DOES NOT mean she's open to being picked up. That said, there are women who are very receptive to males in the gym and go not only to stay fit but to be sociable as well (just like some guys). I can tell you from experience that the longer you go without engaging her the harder it will be to open her. I'm actually struggling with this right now with this fitness model who just broke up with her boyfriend and practically every other guy in the gym has interest in. One approach would be to ask her about a particular exercise she's doing and ask her how to do it. If you see her often you can ask if she's training for a competition or anything in particular or if, like you, she's just sadomasochistic like you and enjoys torturing herself:P Or just try Chris2k's approach "Nice buns, where ya from!" while holding one hand on her waist and giving her the serial killer stare.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:13 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Let's break this down: . I did not insinuate interruption at any time, of course wait until she has finished her set, I would think that would go without saying. But maybe not with some people. Always, I am polite. but to the point and brash! As far as a cold approach, while they are working out, I do it all the time! Have yet to have negative feedback. If they seem new, I ask if they would like pointers, on form and use. Perfect opportunity for kino & comfort. Just because you would not do it that way, does not mean it's wrong! I have F closed at least 6 HBs from the gym alone. Three weeks ago, was HB9 figure competitor. I am close to closing a 24 y/o body builder. But thanks for your input, Heywood Different styles work for different

Author:	Chai [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:30 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Chai wrote: Let's break this down: . I did not insinuate interruption at any time, of course wait until she has finished her set, I would think that would go without saying. But maybe not with some people. Always, I am polite. but to the point and brash! As far as a cold approach, while they are working out, I do it all the time! Have yet to have negative feedback. If they seem new, I ask if they would like pointers, on form and use. Perfect opportunity for kino & comfort. Just because you would not do it that way, does not mean it's wrong! I have F closed at least 6 HBs from the gym alone. Three weeks ago, was HB9 figure competitor. I am close to closing a 24 y/o body builder. But thanks for your input, Heywood No prob, thats cool man I just think it's always better to explain as much as you can before making a post official. SO many new guys on here take advice on here like its the gospel and if one thing is wrong / not coherent to follow with the rest of the routine their bound either to mess up or just get the wrong reaction. I'm just saying that the newbies may need that extra info...

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Fri Apr 13, 2012 1:40 pm ]
Post subject:
Once again, different strokes... If one method works for one person, that's cool. Good for him. I'm not here to flame his approach - I'm here to see how I can offer any input that may give a new strategy - and in turn, find potentially new strategies for myself as well... To the OP - where are you in terms of learning your game? Sounds like it may be at the very beginning... if so, no worries - approach everyone. You're going to look like a tool more times than you can imagine - big deal? Each time you do, you learn - each time you learn, you don't repeat that mistake, each time you practice you progress. Live it, learn it, love it.

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