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Newbie needs help with mindset and smalltalk
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Author:  felicita [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 12:36 am ]
Post subject:  Newbie needs help with mindset and smalltalk
Alright, now I am new to this stuff (got out of a long relationship) and need some help with my mindset (I will present to you what I think about all this and myself, and I want your opinions on that matter), both about myself and PUA'ing in general, this will be a long post so please bear with me I believe that what will be discussed here will be useful for the entire community so here goes

1. NATURAL QUALITIES

It is quite obvious to me that there are some natural qualities, although few, that increases your chances with females greatly. I am talking about being attractive in general. I see this as a power game, if you are more powerful than the female (looks, strength, smarts, finances etc) then she will succumb to you and it happens in a matter of seconds

female sees man:

"wow, he is hot(cute, handsome etc.)" done.

So your body and looks are important, if she does not like you she will not do anything with you that is it.

Let us break down what constitutes the looks:

1. Height
2. Body Shape and Weight
3. Hair and Eyes
4. Facial Features
5. Skin Complexion

What I think is that one must work on these first, it comes before the PUA Magic, but unfortunately except #2 there one cannot change the others.

Now let us look at what all this means for me:

I am 5'8", 27, not muscular but not fat either, my facial features are maybe a 6.5/10, hair reclining, I am middle eastern and I live in the US.

Judging by the information above I am losing too much from the start already, 8 to 10 years ago when I was living in my own country, I was slim, had gorgeous hair and my height was about average so it was not a problem and I had a natural attraction from females. if I were 7/10 back then, now I am giving myself a 4.5/10 in the US.

with exercise I do now how better I could do...

2. MY OPINION AND BEHAVIOR TOWARD FEMALES

These are things I know,

(Of course everything I say here is in general, definitely %90 of females and maybe even more)

1. Females are the true masters of the game, they are innately manipulative and all their life is based around individuality and power play

2. Females, contrary to popular belief, suck at emotions and relationships. I know that deep down man are more caring.

3. Females do not have true friends, their relationships and friendships are based on benefits, they would take down their so called BFF's in the first opportunity that will benefit them greatly, they fiercely eliminate any competition.

4. Females ,in the long term, are excellent plotters, they scheme a bunch of plots and carry them all on at the same time

Besides all these qualities though

5. Females are intellectually stupid, they do not understand endevour for perfection, they fail at seeing the big picture in most things, they do not understand grandeur and grand causes, so they are unwise, unintelligent and simple.

Basically females are simple, and evil creatures of manipulation, if men did not need females for reproduction, sexual arousal and sex, they would be nothing.

So based on the information above, I have no trouble being evil to females, I do not give much worth to them, that is useful to me.

What is not useful to me are these two

1. I cannot hold a long conversation with females because they bore me, it happens daytime and night time, at night time one has to be rather quick pointing the conversation towards a sexual attraction, I fail to do it and the conversation gets weird too quick so either I am bored and I leave, or they find me too weird because I cannot do small talk, or there is a long awkward silence and I leave.

At daytime, I just leave the conversation because it gets too boring

2. They scare me and anger me at the same time, I know that they are good at what they are doing, approaching them makes me afraid of failure (rejection) this makes the small talk even weirder and I leave with a feeling of rejection, or I am just rejected right there.

I hate the fake sense of power females get when they beautify themselves and go out, they know that their only power comes from their beauty and people are interested in them because of that and they do not hesitate to abuse it, I can sense that they even mock you for approaching them at times (this happens before you even talk to them) and at times they can be brutal with their rejection.

Which all of these, I will admit, bruises my ego deeply.


Ok so enough about introductions, I believe that PUA comes in after the natural response I have talked about, I need to learn the aspects of PUA that would help someone be in control of the conversation, be able to actually do simple small talk and yet keep it interesting and of course after that lead the conversation and body language towards what you really want, and of course build the confidence that (speaking about myself) one will not let their ego bruised after a rejection or mockery.

So the advice I really need is this:

1. How does one compensate for their lacking natural qualities, I am short which is a huge minus, I am from somewhere else and where I am from is not intriguing or interesting, when I am asked where I am from it is usually obvious that it will end bad, I cannot do much about my height, but is there anyway I can use being a foreigner to my advantage?

2. Seriously what do you talk about after you make the first contact, I fail badly there, I am really not good at small talk, I do not even know WHAT to talk about.

3. My ideas in the 2 sections I explained are almost chiseled in my brain, I need someone from the outside to explain to me to remove or reshape these ideas because the last thing I want is to be an obstacle to myself.

thanks for reading, and I appreciate the advice.
Author:  GallowGlass [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 1:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, from the get go it sounds as if you have a very... strange relationship with women and until you get over this you probably won't get far. I think you wrote the entire 2nd section with the wrong frame of mind. In my experiance most girls are ordinary, the same as men but for a few physical features. Being evil to women is not really a great tactic in this game. Learn to love them instead.

As for your questions,
1 Your features are second to the way you act. One difference between men and women is that we do not rely on our looks, infact once a good first impression has been made that stuff is imaterial

2 What kind you talk about? YOU'RE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY! American girls love that shit, it may make you uncomfortable but don't be afraid to use your nationalty, and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself either. Take it from me, I'm young, but I'm well travelled. I'm also Irish (Native Irish) and believe you me that's an asset. I don't know how many times I've been looking for a pot of gold, or threatening someone with a carbomb. It's not a good thing, but hey, It's something.

3 Right now you are an obstacle to yourself. But there is not a quick solution, I think I've already tackled that question in this post. Over time as you change so will your certainties.
Author:  mapleleaf [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Newbie needs help with mindset and smalltalk
Quote:
I am short which is a huge minus,

A woman looks on a man's personality. Not how big or small he is. If this is a huge issue for you, tell yourself every time this negative thought comes in. "I am much bigger, I am much bigger, I am really big" Your negative thoughts would go away and you will start acting like a giant. You are better than Tom Cruise or Al Pacino, and yet they are dating women like Nicole Kidman. To a woman, a man's look comes second. We as men, are looking to fuck the hottest girl, with round hips, big boobs, but unless you are dating a shallow woman, she will like you for your PERSONALITY and thats it.

A woman has to be retarded when all she sees your looks even after you have presented yourself with charming personality, and trust me bro, this kind of women you DO NOT want in your life. So, stop those negative thoughts, and say positive things to yourself and repeat them over and over again. If you can make a woman laugh, giggle, act like an alpha, act like you are in charge, she will automatically fall for you. She wouldn't be able to help herself. So, keep working, and NEVER ever think about your lack of things. If you really want to know, look at how many women gets fake boobs, how many get butt implants, how many get vaginal rejuvination. Fake hair color, mascara, eyelashes? WHY? Cuz they ARE NOT perfect. As, men we can't put up make ups to make ourselves handsome. So, women are trying to hide their flaws by putting on makeups. Ever seen celebrities without makeups, and in real life or after they get up in the morning? They look like shit. So, never ever think about your look. Yes, you can improve, by being thinner, building muscles, but stressing over the things that you don't have control over, are of no use. Need more examples?? Look at Pitbull, the guy has no hair on head, doesnt even look good, BUT makes videos with some hottest chicks. He probably even fucks all of them in his bedroom.
Author:  felicita [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
2 What kind you talk about? YOU'RE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY! American girls love that shit, it may make you uncomfortable but don't be afraid to use your nationalty, and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself either. Take it from me, I'm young, but I'm well travelled. I'm also Irish (Native Irish) and believe you me that's an asset. I don't know how many times I've been looking for a pot of gold, or threatening someone with a carbomb. It's not a good thing, but hey, It's something.
thanks bro, I understand what you mean and I will work on it, however about what you are saying about being a foreigner, but I am not Irish or european for that matter, I told You I am middle eastern, most of the time I feel that the prejudice middleastern=muslim=bad relation happens and I do not know how to overcome that (even though I am an atheist)

but maybe that is just a minor obstacle that could be easily evaded and I am just exaggerating it in my head I do not know.
Author:  mapleleaf [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 4:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
2 What kind you talk about? YOU'RE FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY! American girls love that shit, it may make you uncomfortable but don't be afraid to use your nationalty, and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself either. Take it from me, I'm young, but I'm well travelled. I'm also Irish (Native Irish) and believe you me that's an asset. I don't know how many times I've been looking for a pot of gold, or threatening someone with a carbomb. It's not a good thing, but hey, It's something.
thanks bro, I understand what you mean and I will work on it, however about what you are saying about being a foreigner, but I am not Irish or european for that matter, I told You I am middle eastern, most of the time I feel that the prejudice middleastern=muslim=bad relation happens and I do not know how to overcome that (even though I am an atheist)

but maybe that is just a minor obstacle that could be easily evaded and I am just exaggerating it in my head I do not know.
Dude, just its really a minor thing. You are worrying too much over this. Let it go. LET GO of your limiting beliefs.
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