PUA Forum :: Girl at the Gym

Ok.

I'd take a more direct approach. The way you're going about it is too touchy feely - you're basically waiting for a sure sign of interest to avoid being rejected. Many women can intuitively sense when a man is 'feeling out' a situation before taking a risk on asking her out. Taking this approach wreaks of a general lack of confidence and ultimately can severely limit your chances of her agreeing to see you as women are generally turned off by insecurity (they may initially find it cute but if you're beating around the bush for too long they get fed up and lose any interest they might have had).

What I therefore suggest is that you take the direct approach and simply tell her you'd like to take her out. You can do this, for example, by saying you're doing a particular activity (preferrably something you know she already likes) and that she should come along. E.g., "Hey, remember last week how we spoke about that cool new Indonesian place? I'm actually going there this weekend you should totally come with me!"

The worst thing she can do is indicate that she's not interested (she wont be rude about it, most women don't want to see you fail and aren't eager to reject a guy unless he comes off as a complete prick).

Lastly, if she rejects you, big deal you're still breathing. You still live another day to ask another girl out. What demonstrates that you are a man is that you won't change a damn thing going to the gym. You'll simply act cordial and greet her like you normally would, and go on about your business. Changing your routine, going to the gym at different hours and any other micro-avoidance due to rejection tells you subconsciously that you aren't a very confidant person. Take the high road in such a situation.

Author:	ablativeC [ Mon Apr 02, 2012 5:38 am ]
Post subject:	Girl at the Gym
So I've been going to this gym for almost two years now. There's this really cute girl that all the dudes seem to talk to. Anyways, recently she's been smiling at me when she sees me. I smile back and say hi and bye, whatever. We don't ever really talk except when I ask for some gym equipment. But my gut tells me she's interested. So the other day I asked her if she spoke a certain language because I know she's from where some people still speak native languages. She said no mentioned that she knew a couple people that did. So I asked her if I could bring her some info about a university research group that I volunteer for sometimes. The group likes to meet with and records native language speakers. Long story short, she's like just email me the info, and she writes her email and phone number on a piece of paper and gives it to me. I didn't ask her for it either. So, I emailed and texted her the info two days later. All this was 3 weeks ago. How do I approach her without turning my GYM into an awkward place in case I am wrong? Had this been a girl at school or anywhere else, I would've been totally on top of it. But I'm hesitant because I really really value my gym experience. I am a regular there. Thanks.

Author:	PUAMonster [ Mon Apr 02, 2012 6:02 am ]
Post subject:
Go for it. If worst comes to worst you'll just have to go to the gym at different hours or just don't make it awkward if it doesn't have to be in the first place. Cheers

Author:	ablativeC [ Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:30 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the reply. I forgot to mention that she works there so it will be hard to avoid her. Essentially what tactic would you use to get a feel for her without crossing the line.

Author:	asesino [ Mon Apr 02, 2012 7:45 am ]
Post subject:
Ok. I'd take a more direct approach. The way you're going about it is too touchy feely - you're basically waiting for a sure sign of interest to avoid being rejected. Many women can intuitively sense when a man is 'feeling out' a situation before taking a risk on asking her out. Taking this approach wreaks of a general lack of confidence and ultimately can severely limit your chances of her agreeing to see you as women are generally turned off by insecurity (they may initially find it cute but if you're beating around the bush for too long they get fed up and lose any interest they might have had). What I therefore suggest is that you take the direct approach and simply tell her you'd like to take her out. You can do this, for example, by saying you're doing a particular activity (preferrably something you know she already likes) and that she should come along. E.g., "Hey, remember last week how we spoke about that cool new Indonesian place? I'm actually going there this weekend you should totally come with me!" The worst thing she can do is indicate that she's not interested (she wont be rude about it, most women don't want to see you fail and aren't eager to reject a guy unless he comes off as a complete prick). Lastly, if she rejects you, big deal you're still breathing. You still live another day to ask another girl out. What demonstrates that you are a man is that you won't change a damn thing going to the gym. You'll simply act cordial and greet her like you normally would, and go on about your business. Changing your routine, going to the gym at different hours and any other micro-avoidance due to rejection tells you subconsciously that you aren't a very confidant person. Take the high road in such a situation.

Author:	GeorgePH [ Mon Apr 02, 2012 9:26 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Ok. I'd take a more direct approach. The way you're going about it is too touchy feely - you're basically waiting for a sure sign of interest to avoid being rejected. Many women can intuitively sense when a man is 'feeling out' a situation before taking a risk on asking her out. Taking this approach wreaks of a general lack of confidence and ultimately can severely limit your chances of her agreeing to see you as women are generally turned off by insecurity (they may initially find it cute but if you're beating around the bush for too long they get fed up and lose any interest they might have had). What I therefore suggest is that you take the direct approach and simply tell her you'd like to take her out. You can do this, for example, by saying you're doing a particular activity (preferrably something you know she already likes) and that she should come along. E.g., "Hey, remember last week how we spoke about that cool new Indonesian place? I'm actually going there this weekend you should totally come with me!" The worst thing she can do is indicate that she's not interested (she wont be rude about it, most women don't want to see you fail and aren't eager to reject a guy unless he comes off as a complete prick). Lastly, if she rejects you, big deal you're still breathing. You still live another day to ask another girl out. What demonstrates that you are a man is that you won't change a damn thing going to the gym. You'll simply act cordial and greet her like you normally would, and go on about your business. Changing your routine, going to the gym at different hours and any other micro-avoidance due to rejection tells you subconsciously that you aren't a very confidant person. Take the high road in such a situation. Fully agree. Why would you even go to the gym at different hours? This is natural. You're a man, she's a woman. You find her attractive. What do you have to be ashamed of? I would just say (call her - best option) - "Hey, I'm kind of nervous because I see you at the gym all the time... but I think you're really sweet. I don't know if you're seeing anyone, but I'd love to get to know you a bit. We can go for a walk, chat and eat at this new Indonesian place - I make funny faces when I eat spicy food, you'll definitely laugh. Then, if we're having a good time, I'll try to kiss you and you'll probably slap me." That's just the way I do things (strongly influenced by Juggler), but you get the idea. Be direct. Make it clear that you're asking her out on a date, find out about her boyfriend situation and don't take yourself too seriously. Worst case scenario, she has a boyfriend. Women without boyfriend very rarely say "No" to offers like these in my experience.

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Author:	ablativeC [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:34 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks for the advice. And as for the avoiding her part, I was just responding to PUAMonster's comment abotu why i wouldn't be able to. Last time I was told she was single. But that was a few months ago. Yeah too bad she works at my gym, it's the only thing that really is stopping me from just asking her out. I'll just chat her up next time and see her and see how it goes.

Author:	darrryll [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:	re
you have the number; ask her to do something fun now, she excepts you to do this

Author:	asesino [ Wed Apr 04, 2012 12:23 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Thanks for the advice. And as for the avoiding her part, I was just responding to PUAMonster's comment abotu why i wouldn't be able to. Last time I was told she was single. But that was a few months ago. Yeah too bad she works at my gym, it's the only thing that really is stopping me from just asking her out. I'll just chat her up next time and see her and see how it goes. she works at a gym she gets asked out all the time, who cares if she rejects u so what keep going there and be nice rather than let ur ego get the better of u

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