PUA Forum :: Coming across as a show-off

Lately more and more girls have been telling me that i'm acting like a show-off.

Problem is I don't completely realize when or what I say comes across as "showing-off".

How can I detect and change this terrible problem?

Thanks

A lot of it probably comes from your stories. If you talk about parties that the girl did not attend, you're probably showing off. If she doesn't know the people in the story, she probably isn't interested, unless it's very relevant to the conversation. What kind of stories do you tell?

On a night out, test this: Lay back some. If you're usually the center of attention, don't be. Don't sulk, just find your target girl, isolate her as often as you can, and focus more on touching her than being the most interesting person in the group. Let her do most of the talking, just listen, respond and touch.

Hopefully this will take out some of your "Look at me!" quality and make you a calm, suave seducer.

This is a little too vague, what are you doing or saying at the moment they say this?

It all depends on the way they are saying it, if they are smiling or engaging you as they say it, then its a good sign. It's an attempt to get you to interact, it's basically a neg. If they are showing dislike on their faces, then it's a bad sign, but not the end of it all. Women are emotional creatures, they act on emotions alone. If they are showing enough emotion to say something to you, that means they already have something invested in you, and some form of interest is there, the door is still open.

Like is a strong emotion but hate is even stronger. If they are hating on you, then they are also liking on you.

Show them a sweet side, and they will be putty in your hands.

Unless of course you are a complete dick.

Quote:

I'll give you an example:
I hooked up with a girl at a party a couple weeks ago, since then i've heard that she is interested in me. I'm not, I was drunk and had fun but didn't see it as anything more than a one-night fling.
I was talking with some of her friends the other night and I said exactly what I just wrote, the truth, which is that i'm not interested.
One of the girls then said that I was showing off, "yeaaah like I get girls and don't give a fuck". (I never said that).
So I answered back and she said that the way I acted was a "not give a fuck show off" type of way.

Author:	ChristmasWish [ Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:	Coming across as a show-off
Lately more and more girls have been telling me that i'm acting like a show-off. Problem is I don't completely realize when or what I say comes across as "showing-off". How can I detect and change this terrible problem? Thanks

Author:	Slip n Slide [ Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:03 pm ]
Post subject:
I've never really had this problem, so I'm trying to speak from observation rather than experience. A lot of it probably comes from your stories. If you talk about parties that the girl did not attend, you're probably showing off. If she doesn't know the people in the story, she probably isn't interested, unless it's very relevant to the conversation. What kind of stories do you tell? On a night out, test this: Lay back some. If you're usually the center of attention, don't be. Don't sulk, just find your target girl, isolate her as often as you can, and focus more on touching her than being the most interesting person in the group. Let her do most of the talking, just listen, respond and touch. Hopefully this will take out some of your "Look at me!" quality and make you a calm, suave seducer.

Author:	SexAddict911 [ Sat Mar 31, 2012 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Coming across as a show-off
Quote: Lately more and more girls have been telling me that i'm acting like a show-off. Problem is I don't completely realize when or what I say comes across as "showing-off". How can I detect and change this terrible problem? Thanks This is a little too vague, what are you doing or saying at the moment they say this? It all depends on the way they are saying it, if they are smiling or engaging you as they say it, then its a good sign. It's an attempt to get you to interact, it's basically a neg. If they are showing dislike on their faces, then it's a bad sign, but not the end of it all. Women are emotional creatures, they act on emotions alone. If they are showing enough emotion to say something to you, that means they already have something invested in you, and some form of interest is there, the door is still open. Like is a strong emotion but hate is even stronger. If they are hating on you, then they are also liking on you. Show them a sweet side, and they will be putty in your hands. Unless of course you are a complete dick.

Author:	LEF2226 [ Sat Mar 31, 2012 3:34 pm ]
Post subject:
If one or two girls told you this, I would think it was some sort of "shit test." But, since you said multiple girls are telling you this, it's probably true. Bragging is not DHV.

Author:	ChristmasWish [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 3:12 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: A lot of it probably comes from your stories. If you talk about parties that the girl did not attend, you're probably showing off. If she doesn't know the people in the story, she probably isn't interested, unless it's very relevant to the conversation. What kind of stories do you tell? I'll give you an example: I hooked up with a girl at a party a couple weeks ago, since then i've heard that she is interested in me. I'm not, I was drunk and had fun but didn't see it as anything more than a one-night fling. I was talking with some of her friends the other night and I said exactly what I just wrote, the truth, which is that i'm not interested. One of the girls then said that I was showing off, "yeaaah like I get girls and don't give a fuck". (I never said that). So I answered back and she said that the way I acted was a "not give a fuck show off" type of way. [/quote] Quote: On a night out, test this: Lay back some. If you're usually the center of attention, don't be. Don't sulk, just find your target girl, isolate her as often as you can, and focus more on touching her than being the most interesting person in the group. Let her do most of the talking, just listen, respond and touch. Hopefully this will take out some of your "Look at me!" quality and make you a calm, suave seducer. This is how I usually act when I first meet a girl that i'm interested in. I kind of lay back and only speak or drop negs/playful jokes once and a while. However once I am with friends I guess I am more of the center of attention. Thanks for the tip! Quote: This is a little too vague, what are you doing or saying at the moment they say this? It all depends on the way they are saying it, if they are smiling or engaging you as they say it, then its a good sign. It's an attempt to get you to interact, it's basically a neg. If they are showing dislike on their faces, then it's a bad sign, but not the end of it all. Women are emotional creatures, they act on emotions alone. If they are showing enough emotion to say something to you, that means they already have something invested in you, and some form of interest is there, the door is still open. Like is a strong emotion but hate is even stronger. If they are hating on you, then they are also liking on you. Show them a sweet side, and they will be putty in your hands. Unless of course you are a complete dick. When I "show-off" like they say I always have a smirk and its only for fun that I say stuff, i'm not serious. However I guess that some people who don't know me well might think that I come across as a show-off because they don't know i'm kidding. Most of the people who say that i'm a "show-off" or "bragging" are girls. And 100% are girls i've hooked up/had sex/had a relationship with. So they are probably a little biased. I agree with your "hate-theory", my ex girlfriend used to love the fact that I was cocky and didn't give a shit about anyone and thought I was the best (she bought me a #1 keychain after the first time we had sex). And then when we broke up, she absolutely hated what she used to love about me ("Your always bragging and being the center of attention"). I guess i'll try to stay a little more cool, calm, collected in the future. All these advices are great, keep em' coming!

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Author:	Slip n Slide [ Tue Apr 03, 2012 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: A lot of it probably comes from your stories. If you talk about parties that the girl did not attend, you're probably showing off. If she doesn't know the people in the story, she probably isn't interested, unless it's very relevant to the conversation. What kind of stories do you tell? I'll give you an example: I hooked up with a girl at a party a couple weeks ago, since then i've heard that she is interested in me. I'm not, I was drunk and had fun but didn't see it as anything more than a one-night fling. I was talking with some of her friends the other night and I said exactly what I just wrote, the truth, which is that i'm not interested. One of the girls then said that I was showing off, "yeaaah like I get girls and don't give a fuck". (I never said that). So I answered back and she said that the way I acted was a "not give a fuck show off" type of way. That was very gossipy of you. I have a personal rule not to kiss and tell. One time I made out with a girl then went outside the party and told some guy I'd met that she was a bit slutty. Turns out they'd gone to the same high school and he seemed to have a crush on her. so that comment got back to her and bit me in the ass. Try not talking about girls you hook up with, it is more considerate of their feelings.

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