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How to handle this info that my girl might be sneaking
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Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 4:46 am ]
Post subject:  How to handle this info that my girl might be sneaking
Her friend Nikki just sent me this


''I am only telling you this because I know you are a great guy, Rachel doesn't deserve you and you should know why. Even though you guys are supposed to be dating, she still has a different boy coming to her room almost every night and she will not stop talking about all the other guys she is talking to. I'm sorry but I have to tell you this. Its been making me so mad lately. I don't believe that it is right to be flirting and cuddling with other people if you have a significant other. You don't have to do anything about it, but at least take it into consideration.''



Now the little information that I have on the two. The one that I know of has a track record of cheating(she cheated on my friend) according to the girl Rachel. I don't know much about Rachel though. Rachel apparently had a slutting it up before she settled down with me(according to slip ups from her friends). Now these two girls are friends but I believe they got into a fight 2 weekends ago. Not sure what's happening here or how I should I approach. Rachel has told me before how Nikki wants to share me with Rachel. Whenever I mention Rachel's other friends I never seem to get good qualities and usually end up hearing devaluing qualities of her friends to disqualify them to me.

I have no idea what to believe. One part sees this as oh, oh, because I was starting to care about this girl and the other part is looking at a free ride back to single hood and not looking back.

Should I ask my friend why Nikki and him broke up? Maybe Sydney did the same thing to him and she is being spiteful. I don't want to stress too much, but I don't want to waste my time being 'faithful' if this girl doesn't respect me. I don't see why the girl would run this risk if it weren't true, but she can also not give a fuck if she remains friends with this girl.

This is my first relationship. Someone teach help me out and point me to perspectives. I will be in abundance mentality in the meantime.
Author:  asesino [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:00 am ]
Post subject: 
You need to go directly to the source, meaning you have to confront your girlfriend.

You've got no idea what agenda this Nikki person might have, but if you've had reservations about the fidelity of this girl you're seeing that should be enough in itself to consider ending things.

The fact that you're looking for an out in the relationship speaks volumes. Are you that weak that you can't break off things with a girl, but would rather see the relationship self-destruct a slow and painful death?

Come on now, grow up. You're just as bad as her for playing this charade.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:06 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You need to go directly to the source, meaning you have to confront your girlfriend.

You've got no idea what agenda this Nikki person might have, but if you've had reservations about the fidelity of this girl you're seeing that should be enough in itself to consider ending things.

The fact that you're looking for an out in the relationship speaks volumes. Are you that weak that you can't break off things with a girl, but would rather see the relationship self-destruct a slow and painful death?

Come on now, grow up. You're just as bad as her for playing this charade.


Oh now, it's not that I am looking to end the relationship because I want an easy out. Everyone we know(her friends and mine) believe I would be the one to screw up and cheat on the girl, and this is just the most hilarious ironic situation that could possibly ever occur. I have mentioned to this Rachel a few times before that if she want to be friends with benefits that would be completely okay with me. She said no, so I don't understand why go through all this trouble.
Author:  doclift [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:12 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with asesino, confront her. As impossible as it sounds, try to do it in a nonthreatening way. You'll get more accurate responses from her if you can keep anger out of the equation. Pay very close attention to her body language when you ask her. Listen to the tonality of her voice and watch her eye contact.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I agree with asesino, confront her. As impossible as it sounds, try to do it in a nonthreatening way. You'll get more accurate responses from her if you can keep anger out of the equation. Pay very close attention to her body language when you ask her. Listen to the tonality of her voice and watch her eye contact.


I don't know about all this stuff about body language. I rather get it over with now. I will confront her this Friday. I will bring it up in this manner.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:06 am ]
Post subject: 
I will be playfully teasing her and then get a bit serious. She knows I have close girl friends and I can mention the boundaries because I feel 'guilty'

I will say if she thinks it's okay for me to cuddle up with other girls.

If she says no or yes I will ask this girl Nikki for her number to catch the girl in the act. If she never responds to my request of asking for her number then I will know she was lying. If she gives it to me...then damn, time for this man to pay a little visit and smile my way into the room to greet the happy couple. Does anyone agree?
Author:  asesino [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 6:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I will be playfully teasing her and then get a bit serious. She knows I have close girl friends and I can mention the boundaries because I feel 'guilty'

I will say if she thinks it's okay for me to cuddle up with other girls.

If she says no or yes I will ask this girl Nikki for her number to catch the girl in the act. If she never responds to my request of asking for her number then I will know she was lying. If she gives it to me...then damn, time for this man to pay a little visit and smile my way into the room to greet the happy couple. Does anyone agree?
Games. I can tell you're a) very young, or b) very inexperienced with relationships.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
I will be playfully teasing her and then get a bit serious. She knows I have close girl friends and I can mention the boundaries because I feel 'guilty'

I will say if she thinks it's okay for me to cuddle up with other girls.

If she says no or yes I will ask this girl Nikki for her number to catch the girl in the act. If she never responds to my request of asking for her number then I will know she was lying. If she gives it to me...then damn, time for this man to pay a little visit and smile my way into the room to greet the happy couple. Does anyone agree?
Games. I can tell you're a) very young, or b) very inexperienced with relationships.

I have said this is my first real relationship in my original post...I am not hiding that fact. So I should risk the fact of accusing an innocent girl? And I should keep the messenger safe somehow shouldn't I? If it turns out to be true I don't want her friend being eaten alive from foiling Rachel's plans. I will stop playing games then. It seems this is has crippled the relationships from the beginning. Now this is my bed and I will have to sleep in it
Author:  asesino [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:14 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I will be playfully teasing her and then get a bit serious. She knows I have close girl friends and I can mention the boundaries because I feel 'guilty'

I will say if she thinks it's okay for me to cuddle up with other girls.

If she says no or yes I will ask this girl Nikki for her number to catch the girl in the act. If she never responds to my request of asking for her number then I will know she was lying. If she gives it to me...then damn, time for this man to pay a little visit and smile my way into the room to greet the happy couple. Does anyone agree?
Games. I can tell you're a) very young, or b) very inexperienced with relationships.
you're being a bit mellodramatic

I have said this is my first real relationship in my original post...I am not hiding that fact. So I should risk the fact of accusing an innocent girl? And I should keep the messenger safe somehow shouldn't I? If it turns out to be true I don't want her friend being eaten alive from foiling Rachel's plans. I will stop playing games then. It seems this is has crippled the relationships from the beginning. Now this is my bed and I will have to sleep in it
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 7:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Games. I can tell you're a) very young, or b) very inexperienced with relationships.
you're being a bit mellodramatic

I have said this is my first real relationship in my original post...I am not hiding that fact. So I should risk the fact of accusing an innocent girl? And I should keep the messenger safe somehow shouldn't I? If it turns out to be true I don't want her friend being eaten alive from foiling Rachel's plans. I will stop playing games then. It seems this is has crippled the relationships from the beginning. Now this is my bed and I will have to sleep in it

Nothing new with the melo dramatics. I am waiting a day and talking to her Friday. A day should cool me down.
Author:  lvl80retpaladin [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 2:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would just dump her. Even if you start to believe it's not true, you'll always have that lingering doubt in the back of your head. And it's not worth it to go through a relationship without being sure.
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 3:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you already have a good assessment of your situation and how to handle it. Another perspective that you might want to consider is that Nikki might want to have sex with you.

I've noticed that girls will say bad things about other girls that they know you like. A girl bad mouthing other girls seems like a strong indicator of interest with qualification. If a FWB is fine with you for Rachel, I say kino escalate with Nikki and see where it leads.

If you have a very strong self-esteem and it turns out that what Nikki says is true, I say just go along with an FWB with Rachel and try to have an FWB with Nikki. You can polish your sexual skills with the help of Rachel and Nikki.

If you have time, learn this: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6150 ... n_s_Orgasm This is one good way to keep your girlfriends loyal and faithful. :twisted:
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Hellhound...

The whole time I was thinking "game the informer".

Well played.
Author:  BPH [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Confront her about with a neutral mindset and do not get mad. Take in everything for what it is then make your decision.
Author:  LEF2226 [ Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Proceed with caution. And I'd confront your girlfriend about what the other girl said.
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