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Conquering One-itis? Move on or Move forward. Help?
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Author:  Consequences_ [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Conquering One-itis? Move on or Move forward. Help?
Here's the back story.

I'm 23, she's 19. I was with her for over 2 years and we've been off and on ever since. I was her second lay and she was mine. We've broken up 4 times each for about 3-4 months and the longest being 8 months when I dated her best friend (exBFF now). Each break up though she puts on me. The first break up was because she never gets to see me. Which at that time I was going to University about an hour away and had football practice, weight lifting, class, study hall, and work so I only saw her on weekends. The second time she broke up with me I had a night shift job from 4pm-2am and worked 20 days and then got 1 day off and then worked another 20 days before getting a day off. The most recent breakup 3 months go, she said because she never got to see me. Now I have an out of state job where I work 8 weeks then come home for 2 weeks and rinse/repeat.

Is she the selfish bitch I think she might be? Or was my greed getting in the way of my passion? Is this fixable? I stated she was my second lay ever and I've never cheated on her, but I'm now approaching my twentieth lay and I still only care about her. I still text with her and we still fuck 3-4 times when I come home for 2 weeks.

Idk what I should do. Right now I normally text her like I'm gaming her still and we always have fun texts and it's not like she uses me for emotional support because I still fuck her on a consistent basis still.

Alot of people would say "Move on" but I'm not sure that's best.

This thread was inspired by Motowns thread, hoping I can get similar feedback.

Here's our recent convo.

Me: (I sent her a picture of a girl crying on her bed with a caption saying "I want to be skinny like the Victorias Secret models; But I just like beer too much"
Her:Niceeee hahahahaha

At this point I realized I had to do something so I am ignoring her. 2 daysater she sends me this text

Her: Hey what week was you in town?

I haven't responded.

Fuze, should I maybe try doing what you told Motown? I feel like mine is different though because we still have lots of sex, but still feel like you could offer some input, good or bad.

Thanks. Also, she's a HB8. Dunno if that matters though really. Thanks.
Author:  doclift [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Shit or get off the pot. What do you want to do? Do you want to be with her? It's as simple as that. A confident male is decisive and knows what he wants in life. Decide what you want and we'll advise you from there.
Author:  Chris2k10 [ Wed Mar 28, 2012 3:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Conquer your oneitis?

Find a pornstar that looks just like her and jack off to her.
Author:  Consequences_ [ Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Shit or get off the pot. What do you want to do? Do you want to be with her? It's as simple as that. A confident male is decisive and knows what he wants in life. Decide what you want and we'll advise you from there.
Lol ok...Maybe a better question is how do you find a mutual respect for women?

Girls I fuck first time meeting them I have zero respect for. Girls that obviously want to fuck but dont because they "Don't wanna look like sluts" I have no respect for for cause then all it takes is day 2 or 3 and BOOM she's made me game her and get it.

Women want the power of men, and the perks of femininity.

Other than sexual, how do you attract yourself to women on a deeper level? A deeper level is more what I'm looking for.
Author:  doclift [ Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
A general loss of respect for women is hands-down the darkest side effect of participating in the pickup arts. The likelihood of it's occurrence is proportional to one's success in closing.

I went through it myself a few years ago. As an experiment, I tested out taking a full-blown asshole approach to my game, think Tucker Max style. To my surprise, I had astonishing results. The more success I had, the less respect I had for women. The more of an asshole I was, the more I got laid, maybe not with my original target but an adjacent set. It was an incredibly slippery slope and it got to the point where I had no respect for women and I began to lose my close guy friends. When a friend of mine refused to invite me to his wedding for fear that I'd offend someone, I took a step back and quit gaming for 3 months.

During those three months, I reevaluated my game and drastically changed my attitude. I remembered that I got into the game in the first place because I loved the company of women. There are aspects of the female psyche, that as males we'll never be able to adapt. I'm at a point now where I love every woman and feel privileged to hear the stories of the events that shaped their lives. Once you get to the point where a woman trusts you, you'll hear some awesome stuff.

The point of all of this, is that you need to stop assigning respect for a woman based on how quickly they have sex with you. Think about all of the aspects of game you had to learn to get to the point where sleeping with a woman on the first night was even possible. Women are sexual beings as well. The game is engineered to defeat all of the obstacles and roadblocks between meeting a woman and having sex with her. Think about all of the verbal techniques you use, the constant alertness to body language, the identification of IOIs, your attentiveness to your own appearance, the crafting of DHV-spiked stories, the studying of group social dynamics, the witty banter, text game, home game, creative day 2's... the list goes on. It takes an enormous amount of work to be good at this game. Ask around. See how many of your guy friends can pick a girl out somewhere and then have sex with her within 7-9 hours of interaction. 10% of men sleep with 90% of women. You have learned and practiced all of this to succeed with women, disrespecting them because you have is downright preposterous.

What if she had sex with you not because she legitimately wanted to do so, but rather because she wanted you to like her? What if you're just that different from all the other guys that have tried with her in the past, that she gave you what little social power she had in hopes that you'd appreciate it and stick around? How can you not respect that?

If you want deeper, you're going to have to put in the leg work in a relationship. Identify the specific qualities that you want in a woman and start gaming. When you find a girl that you think might meet your criteria, game her as you normally would. Instead of looking down on her for having sex with you, enjoy the time you have. If you want something deeper with a woman, you are going to have to open up to her and actually listen to what she has to say.

It starts with respect, so stop judging women.
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Damn doclift, you nailed my mental state to the tee.

I've lost respect for women in general. I don't care. I don't have the capacity to give a fuck - and, pathetically, that has helped my game tremendously.

I was recently in orlando visiting my folks... and my mom brought out the fact that she thinks I hate women....ok, she knew I was given IOIs by my dad's oncologist before his surgery in December, and I closed that shortly thereafter - but I still left it on a good note - one where I can always call it again when I go to town... She saw the switch in me right after I'd conquered the new territory. But I found it interesting my mom could see through me...

I still don't give a fuck, but found that quite telling.
Author:  Rough Operator [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:03 am ]
Post subject: 
I respect women a lot and it probably has hindered my game. I am sometimes weirdly empathetic and I don't want to hurt people, but this mainly manifests itself with long term arrangements with girls. If I meet them on a night out, then I usually don't stick around.

I like learning about people and listening to their dreams etc and what makes them tick. However, it's telling that its usually my female friends that I admire and respect, not girls I am fucking.
Author:  Consequences_ [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Agree with Doc.

Does anyone not notice the double standard with women though. My mother is a good looking woman who takes pride in raising her kids, taking care of the home, taking care of her man, and working a but here and there. I feel like these women don't exist. My mother told me about a month ago, "If your father would have treated me like you treat all your women, I never would have gave him the time of day". But then in my mind I'm thinking, "Ok and if dad had been nice and sweet to you I bet you wouldn't have gave him the time of day either"

I don't use alot of pick up routines. Honestly I starting getting into this stuff mores because after a couple heart breaking relationships (9 months & 3 years) I was sick of doing everything the "right" way and getting crushed, so I came to pick up not just to learn how to pickup women, but to learn HOW to get things in a relationship that I want from a woman.

Problem is, I'm an asshole (Cocky funny I suppose) and it works. But because it works, I continue to be an asshole. I guess the same principles we use in pick up are actually working against us when it comes to other women. The girl being chased doesn't want the chaser, likewise the PUA being chased doesn't want the chaser, atleast usually not for me.

Strange dilemma indeed. Guess you can't have your cake and eat it too!
Author:  doclift [ Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've heard numerous older women claim that my game wouldn't have worked on them and I always just chalk it up as the observer effect. Nobody wants to admit that there is a system in place to disarm and seduce them. If an unattractive woman were standing in front of all of you and claimed that she could game all of you into a bedroom, would you believe her? "That shit may work on other guys, but not on ME."

Societies change, psyches adapt, but the underlining genetic demands of our species will always remain. Survival and Replication. If you fundamentally understand this principle, you could travel to any culture in any time period and be successful at the game. While the tactics of guys gaming in the 60's differed from ours today, their understanding of a woman's biological need of a man's assistance to survive and replicate did not.

I use a lot of cocky funny in my repertoire, but know when to turn it off. I sometimes utilize NLP tactics but only when I feel it's necessary. The point I'm trying to make, is to focus more on micro-calibrating your game. It's our ability to be multifaceted that makes us the intriguing males women crave.
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