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ONEITIS- GOOD OR BAD?
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Author:  player_boi23 [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:  ONEITIS- GOOD OR BAD?
Hello, this is for most ppl new to the forums, and maybe coupla veterans round.

On this forums, u'd see most ppl posting "i like this girl, what should i do" "whaty can i do to get this XXXX to like me?" and they usually get replies like this "dude, u got ONE-ITIS GET OVER IT" "FIND OTHER GIRLS" "UR ACTING THE RONG WAY" or something of that variation. And u might be like "shit i really like her" or "damn but the 'love' it feels so real" etc.

K. THERE IS NOTHING RONG WITH ONE-ITIS.

yeah fuckin' flame me now. It feels natural for a reason, and its sometimes good to embrace that natural feeling.

HOWEVERR. THE PROBLEM is the STATE one-itis USUALLY puts you in. THE STATE. One-itis usually makes you feel like you need a girl, and ya put the girl on a pedestal: making her unreachable to urself. which is why most ppl with one-itis never get the girl. And in a "ONE-ITIS" state, u usually neglect the girls sexual needs [yeah FYI they need it too], which puts u in the friend zone.

thats y its advised on this forums to stay away from such a mentality. But eventually if u do meet a great girl, fuck her brains out, date, and realise she's pretty cool, then go ahead and develop a relationship. Its a part of life anyway.

Hope this clarifies things.
Author:  neyos [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
about time someone said it ..well done..

IMO..

one-itis helps to focus
one-itis can give enough momentum to just go for it
one-itis is necessary to "radiate" "the right attitude" to the girl
one-itis is wonderful and usually dies away pretty fast after getting married

what is one-itis?
focused love! It's the "SPICE" that allows you to experience a depth in a relationship with someone else which goes into the paranormal including experiences of synchronicity, mind reading, telepathy, telekinesis and the whole shabang ...

the trouble with having a one-itis for someone who's not yet in a solid relationship with you is, that this focused love charges the other persons radiance and makes them suddenly so much more attractive to your competitors, who may be master PUAs or naturals that go for what they like with no hesitation.
if it is love at first sight, then this kind of charging of the target happens before you even opened her. in a club full of guys, this is to be avoided.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah, one-itis isn't all that bad and I admit that I am one of those guys that has replied like that similar to your examples. Only reason I reply that way is because the original poster usually gets the one-itis early in the relationship without screening the girl properly, preventing him from gaming other chicks just in case there is a better girl out there, and that is where screening plays a role. One-itis is a great feeling once you know the girl is right for you and you can enjoy each others company hassle free. Just don't become dependent on the relationship as you have stated and one-itis won't be so bad. It's just depressing to see a man get emasculated and become a former shell of himself.
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: ONEITIS- GOOD OR BAD?
edit- disregard, I'm out of my skull today
Author:  applesauce22 [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
I was initially gonna neg down the idea of oneitis when i saw they title but considering your explanation it makes sense. As a guy who has changed dramtically since my "first love" im familiar with all the negatives of oneits especially when its contrued in an AFC frame. But alot of these posts realize its potential.

I guess one of the questions that arise regarding oneitis is if your a PUA can you have that one true love that your looking for? and if you find that girl have you effectively given up being a PUA?
Author:  Wolfwoodd [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Allow me to be a pick-up geek for just a second here. When the term, "oneitus", was first coined it meant the obession you get for a girl you've never slept with. Since then, it has evolved to include girls you are no longer sleeping with (ex's).

By definition, you can't have onitus for a girl you are currently sleeping with. Some of these responses don't make any sense to me. Furthermore, I think the OP is confusing onitus with strong emotional investment (i.e. love). They are two different things.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf
Author:  doclift [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm on board with Wolf. Oneitis is a term used to describe the mindset of guys who are getting into the game so that they could seduce "that one girl I always see at starbucks, despite the fact that I've never so much as spoken to her." The term does not apply to any relationship between two people where sex is taking place.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
You are wrong, for the reasons listed above, as well as one critical point. If we somehow turn one-itis into a good thing, which it isn't, then guys who find themselves crushing on unobtainable women will not want to change. It's tough enough to try to convince a guy to game other girls when it's purely a negative term.
Author:  AlphaBettaKappa [ Thu May 24, 2012 4:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I'm on board with Wolf. Oneitis is a term used to describe the mindset of guys who are getting into the game so that they could seduce "that one girl I always see at starbucks, despite the fact that I've never so much as spoken to her." The term does not apply to any relationship between two people where sex is taking place.
Exactly. If you find yourself plotting your next move just to see if she lets you have sex with her then you have oneitus. My oneitus situation is because I had sex however/whenever I wanted it for the first 6 months. It almost felt too easy :lol: and this ofcourse kept my sub conscience Alpha swagger up. As soon as she had enough of my BS the sex stopped and to my surprise I instantly became betta. It has been a steep downhill landslide ever since (gifts, begging, pleading/crying, too touchy feely, novel text messages, repeated calls when she's out, etc...) pathetic! To top it off I still have not had sex and the drought has been going on almost 1.5 months!!! WTF?... In my case the Oneitus was a good experience because, logically, this girl is terrible for me! She has too much baggage, doesn't work, is into stuff I'm not really into, cares what people think too much, etc... (the list goes on!). The only Pro's I can find for her are Companionship (can have this with anyone!), sex (miss, but not getting anymore :oops: :lol: ), and we both like to travel and eat out (again! can have with anyone! :lol: ). I'm basically worshiping the pussy because I have no other options anywhere else. I don't regret this experience though; I have learned a lot!!! Glad to have wasted my oneitus situation on a girl probably not worth dating in the first place. Currently freezing her out (over a week) for my feelings to die down and working on myself! Like anything in life, a bad situation can become good if you use it to learn. I wouldn't wish oneitus on my worst enemy! :)
Author:  agentprovocateur [ Thu May 24, 2012 4:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
The vast majority of women don't want to be thrown-up on a pedestal. They want to feel as though the guy they're interested in is desired by others (ppl tend to like things that other ppl like. Often people see movies because other people have given the movie rave reviews). When you see nothing but empty seats in a restaurant, are you inclined to eat there? The same analogy applies to people. If there's no thrill of the hunt, no tension (push/pull dynamic) between a man and a woman, than you've got nothing. The only types of women who want to be put up on a pedestal are ones looking for sugar daddys, or ones who have such low self-esteem they need constant validation to keep their egos afloat.

Oneittis simply refers to the state of mind of the guy who has created no context (e.g., having no other women in his life) for himself and makes the lone woman he is pursuing the end-all-be-all. This state of mind is no different from the man in the desert who comes upon a broken water well, savoring the last few drops of water as though they were the last ones he'll ever get before certain death. Coming from a frame of neediness (seeking female affection) rather than operating from a sexual frame will invariably lead to a bout of Oneittis.

When you BEHAVE on craving for her feminine energy, you exude neediness (not having options, and in the process demonstrating you are of low value/not desirable to others).
Author:  artfulroger [ Thu May 24, 2012 6:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
So how do we frame this topic so you're able to get your oneitus? I think a lot of forum members could benefit from this. I mean from what I've read so far is a freeze out for a week so you can get your head back from clouds and a severe amount of self awareness and analysis is needed, which to me means you should stop trying to build comfort and just go for it like she was a new girl. Like really learn to put your emotional attachment of this girl to oneside, like whatevers going on with her, if she is seeing someone or has a boyfriend, [insert other emotional problem]. Then if you don't make progress, just say fuck it and move on? Does that sound about right? (thats my understanding from this forum at least)
Author:  RetiredRodeo [ Thu May 24, 2012 6:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So how do we frame this topic so you're able to get your oneitus? I think a lot of forum members could benefit from this. I mean from what I've read so far is a freeze out for a week so you can get your head back from clouds and a severe amount of self awareness and analysis is needed, which to me means you should stop trying to build comfort and just go for it like she was a new girl. Like really learn to put your emotional attachment of this girl to oneside, like whatevers going on with her, if she is seeing someone or has a boyfriend, [insert other emotional problem]. Then if you don't make progress, just say fuck it and move on? Does that sound about right? (thats my understanding from this forum at least)
If you were able to put your emotions aside, one-itis wouldn't exist.

Most people can't seaprate emotions from the situation.

There's always the Anti-Rodeo out there. I'm certain of it. Will I find her? Who knows.

The deal for one-itis for me is to finally have one of my close friends tell me what the fuck I need to hear. There are two that I know won't sugar coat it, they're mPUAs in other states, and we talk - a lot.

Then - just regroup and make a new approach - gain TRUE compliance or bail - this time with cognitive reasoning.

It sucks, most don't really admit to having it until they're already mired in a world of suck. We KNOW we have it, we just don't really do shit about it as if it'll suddenly go away...

RR
Author:  AlphaBettaKappa [ Thu May 24, 2012 7:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The vast majority of women don't want to be thrown-up on a pedestal. They want to feel as though the guy they're interested in is desired by others (ppl tend to like things that other ppl like. \
I'm suffering from this and this has given the case of oneitis with my recent ex. It's hard to feel like a prize when I have no women on deck. I guess I'm using women for "validation". I just don't know how to start rebuilding my life so I'm 100% content with who I am. I need to "work on myself" more but I don't know where to begin. It's tough! I would like to improve my social circle so I maybe it's time I put my "ego" aside and start opening up to people more. I'm in my late twenties and it feels like I have to "entertain" to get women (going out drinking, ridiculous facebook statuses, etc...". I feel like I'm too old for all that now I'm just running out of ideas!
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