PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Girl still loves her ex?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=131232		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Farneze [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:18 am ]
Post subject:  Girl still loves her ex?
Girl of 3 months just told me she still loves her ex. She wants me to move on and not wait for her. She wants me to be happy. She says sorry for hurting me and making me believe I had a chance with her. Says she loves me but isn't in love with me. She tells me all she wants is for me to be happy. She says that the only way I'll be happy is if she makes me let her go forever. However, she tells me that she loves my company and still wants it. She tells me I deserve to be with someone else. Says she pushed her ex away and she took him for granted. Now she wants him back. She tells me I'm worth a lot more than a rebound. She tells me she can't be in love with me and don't want to be. She says her ex was the only person in the world who made her feel beautiful and understood her. She feels as if half of her was ripped apart. She wants him back but she knows she took him for granted.

What's a guy to do? I really do want her.
Author:  Kathleen1980 [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 12:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
if i understood it correctly you were together for 3 months. if that is correct, even if it was a rebound, which it definitely was, she has/had some degree of interest in you. all the talk of reinforcing that you should look rlsewhere is simply her way of fantasizing and emotionally exploiting the idea of getting back together with her ex.
currently you will have no chance, dont force it, back off completely but act as though it wouldnt affect you, be completely neutral about it. dont be available, hardly ever meet, avoid contact, but always be friendly. once her comeback with the ex fails and she is over him the cards will be shuffled again afresh if you did your homework. see other girls and dont hide it.
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 1:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
does she have hot friends?
Author:  Farneze [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 2:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
it is true, she had sky high interest for me. she was the one that chased me. she chased me to hell and when she finally had me, her interest in me was extremely high. she made me a priority in her life, not an option. but i drove her away with my neediness. which leads me to think, is this just a way of rejecting me? of all the 3 months we were together, she never once mentioned her ex. then when i started to think she didn't love me enough, she brings up the fact that she isn't over her ex.

i appreciate the reply, kathleen. it made me feel so much better.

and what if she does have hot friends?
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
it is true, she had sky high interest for me. she was the one that chased me. she chased me to hell and when she finally had me, her interest in me was extremely high. she made me a priority in her life, not an option. but i drove her away with my neediness. which leads me to think, is this just a way of rejecting me? of all the 3 months we were together, she never once mentioned her ex. then when i started to think she didn't love me enough, she brings up the fact that she isn't over her ex.

i appreciate the reply, kathleen. it made me feel so much better.

and what if she does have hot friends?
...sleep with them, going to be a hell of alot easier with this girls approval, if she helps you and puts in a good word about you, you are already half way in, just have to get with her friends, then if she breaks up with boyfriend, try to get with her, just don't be needy man, you don't specifically need her, if she likes you enough sleeping with her friends will motivate her to get you, but don't count on it, and certainly don't be needing some sort of outcome with her, just get her to help you meet her friends, it will be 10x easier then cold approaching, also slow down with the amount of no sex face time you are putting in with her, the longer that continues the more it will solidify a non sexual frame between the two of you
Author:  Farneze [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 3:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
i see. i will do what you say pumpington. can you elaborate on the slow down on the no sex face time? i don't quite get what you said. are you telling me not to play no contact heavily?

thank you for the advice.
Author:  Kathleen1980 [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 5:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
will sleeping with her friends reignate fire in her or raise the attraction? yes, pretty sure! but obviously this also comes with pissing her off. this is only something to do with someone you were not together with, otherwise it will be too much of a risk in insulting her too much. many classy women might be attracted by this but at the same time will break off all bridges entirely. i wouldnt take that risk. see other women, dont make a secret of it. post party oics of you and other girls on facebook for e.g
Author:  knightduller [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 6:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
this girl sounds not so nice to me, if shes in love with her ex now, then she for sure in love with her ex three month ago, when shes crazyly chasing you, like wtf?
just move on, you do deserve someone better
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Mar 17, 2012 9:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i see. i will do what you say pumpington. can you elaborate on the slow down on the no sex face time? i don't quite get what you said. are you telling me not to play no contact heavily?

thank you for the advice.
ok, during every interaction, there is meaning for that interaction, maybe the meaning, is, talking with a friend, you are hitting on a girl, a girl is hitting on you, you are being rejected, you are talking to a boss, a boss is talking to you, you and someone are imagining something, what ever

there is always a meaning and there will be sub-communication between two people that reinforce this through what is being said, body language tonality, etc. etc. (someone can say one thing, but the frame puts a different meaning behind what is being said all together, sarcasm is an example)

the more you hang out with this girl and there is a non sexual meaning behind your interaction, the more that frame is solidified between the two of you,

to simplify, act like a friend, get friend zoned, act like a boyfriend, become a boyfriend, act like all you want is sex, all you will get is sex

it doesn't mean that no matter what she can't reject your frame, but what ever frame of the interaction is, the interaction will either fit that frame, or someone will change it, there will always be one person in control of the frame, that is the person who is more certain of what they want

in other words, when you had control of the frame, you were most likely setting out, we like each other, etc., then she changed the frame to that of friendship due to dis-qualifying you to chase some ex, now if you allow her to control the frame and hold this, eventually it will fuck you in the ass

it comes down to either having sex with her and solidifying yourself as a guy she sleeps with, or starting to be a needy guy, who waits around for her cause he needs her, this will turn you into an orbiter, and she will most likely not sleep with you and eventually lose interest

but in my opinion your easiest option is sleep with her friends (not for revenge or anything or to get back with her but because it is easy and could actually lead to good things happening for you), not sure if you had sex with this girl or not, but basically she just gave you a slap in the face, but wants you to ''move on and not wait for her'' she wants you to be happy, etc. etc., so really you can get her help to sleep with her friends, it will be easier for you then cold approaching, you already have her approval, if you slept with her, her friends are more likely to want to sleep with you to see what you are like, and she can't corner you in a rage because it was what ''she wanted'', so still be her friend, don't completely cut her off, just treat her like a friend, see her/think about her less, get her to help you sleep with her friends, and if she has a problem with it, just switch it up on her,

''oh I thought this was what you wanted blah blah (then do your best make something happen with her)'' and if she pulls away from that you are covered, she has no way to make you out to look like the bad guy, it will all fall onto her

but don't rely on this as some strategy to get her back, just forget about her as a primary option, and make your primary focus her friends, and if that doesn't go on, then just move on,

don't worry about posting party pictures up, if she gets in contact don't fully dis-close anything about you and other girls, just stop paying attention to her, your actions will say it more then your words, just don't be butthurt about it and take care of yourself, as well as still being friendly towards her (but putting no effort in to giving her attention)
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 4:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like a very honest and upfront girl, I would remain friends with her.

But yeah, go for one of her friends. If she tries to talk to you about it, she will either be jealous or be trying to hide her jealousy.

If she's openly jealous, mad at you for going for her friend, follow pumpington's advice "I thought this was what you wanted. What do you want?" Lead into making a move on her.

If she's hiding her jealousy, you can see if she'll help. "Are you trying to get with Betty?" "Yeah, I am, I think she's really cute. Could you help me get her alone? I think I have a good shot here."
Author:  Costa-T [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 8:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Honest to god i hate it when girls do that. The same thing happened to me but it was just 5 weeks afterwards and it wasn't like a proper relationship, just casual. I really fell for her and liked her as she kept telling me how much she liked me and felt confortable with me. But weeks down the line she tells me she still loves her ex and wants to forget him, she said she needs time and space for a bit to get back on her feet :D guess what 3 weeks down the line, she went out on a date with someone else hahaha bullshit girls for you pal.

What you need to do is look at things now and say to yourself, was she actually worth it? NO! that way you'll feel a lot better. The guys here advised me and helped me out, they told me to go out and party, which i did, i met other girl now we are talking and shit, but it made me realise that i don't want a relationship at this age. I wana party and have fun and go with different girls all the time, that's who i realised i am, im not the relationship person because i always get end up hurt.

Move on pal, she's a waste of time.. Plenty on fish in the sea, and it's her loss, she will realise that and she will come back running after you and that's when you get to set the rules but do you really wana go back there? because hell i wouldn't go back to anyone!
Author:  Farneze [ Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Well here we go. She got back with her ex yesterday. Funny thing is that I told her I'll leave her alone like she wanted. I cut contact with her. One day later, she calls me. She seemed interested, holding the weight of the conversation and asking questions. I cut the call short. She then told me about five hours later that her ex came back. I told her I was happy for her and this is where we have to say goodbye. Could I have dealt with this situation in a better way?
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well here we go. She got back with her ex yesterday. Funny thing is that I told her I'll leave her alone like she wanted. I cut contact with her. One day later, she calls me. She seemed interested, holding the weight of the conversation and asking questions. I cut the call short. She then told me about five hours later that her ex came back. I told her I was happy for her and this is where we have to say goodbye. Could I have dealt with this situation in a better way?
coulda slept with her friends
Author:  Slip n Slide [ Sat Mar 24, 2012 5:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Pumpington's right, but I would do the exact same thing you did. If there's any emotion there at all, just leave it at no contact. Dont answer her phone call next time.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/