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A Disaster happend. Told the Woman my feelings...What to do?
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Author:  DonkeyDD [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:40 am ]
Post subject:  A Disaster happend. Told the Woman my feelings...What to do?
Hi guys I'm from Germany so sorry for mistakes in language.
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2 years ago I started reading a lot if pick up books and was watching countless videos on the internet about pick up. And I was amazed It worked out very well. I got layed many times in a month. Had a very good life! :lol:

Now a critical point happend in my life. For the first time since 4 years I developed very strong feelings for a girl. She is a stunning beautiful girl from eastern europe. Really warm person. And my inner game was wiped out by his person. I became the shy guy I was 2 years ago...And I thought I have everything under control since I started pick up.

Now to the story--Do you guys have a solution what to do, cuz my mind is still shattered since that disaster day...

The Story

I met the girl at the local haircutter...and from the first day...I could't help I had feelings for her. We starting talking via the phone a lot for hours. and my inner game was still intact. I'd make her feel comfortable and we both drifted from a the business (client scheme) to a more personal level ( she told me a lot about her past private stuff a.s.o) Than my misery startet when I began to see her at dates. I lost my inner game. We starting meeting often after her working hours. I was there for her and used every possibility to see her. Texted her every time first. For 90 % of the time the action was coming from me. (I know horrible.. :( ) But last wednesday I invited her to a restaurant, we had a really nice chat during the dinner and I began to feel again that my inner game vanished. Strange brakes during conversation and so on. But not in a too bad way...

Anyway. When we were leaving She put her lipstick on (WoW I thought, strong IoI.) I was feeling good again. As I was walking her home my selfconfidence began to vanish again as we staying without saying a word down at her entrance door of her house. She was glancing at me and me at her (arkward situation) I would have just kissed her...but I could't help myself again...felt like a fcking schoolboy... We said goodbye. I wrote her a message afterwards that the evening was special...total AFC. :evil:

Next day I called her and after some chit chat I asked when to meet up again. She invited me to her flat to cook for me. (She was offering that also on the dinner date...) I accepted and we meet Friday.

I visited her with flowers and bought some vine and She was really happy about this. She made the SPAM really romantic with candles and stuff. And we had nice conversation. Looking in our eyes for long time and so on. This shit was melting my inner game again...
:roll:

So the conversation was getting stucked again because of me. I did't know what to say suddenly again...She than told me she has to get up early the next morning and ask me to leave. I said "well ok thats fine have to go anyway" When I was at the doorstep, I was melting again and had the idea, in order to set up my innergame, "Im' going to tell her that I developed some feeling for her." (I still have no IDEA how this did happend AND I told her this like a shy schoolboy like a complete IDIOT- Needy guy...I thought this might take away some pressure from me)... :oops:

She said to me "thank you very for the evening" as a response and thanked me again very much for the flowers while I was already going down the stairs...

Next day I texted her in the evening how her workday was blabla. Thanks for the Dinner again. Blabla....

She texted me back 1 day later, that she had a good day, but now she feels really tired and wants go sleep early... I texted her back and since that again no action from her to establish contact with me.(I reckon she does not wanna talk with me, as she is afraid I will come up with the lovetopic again)

I recollected myself now after this disaster and thinking about a freeze out. But I' not sure if this is the right approach. Cuz I'm not sure I gave her some good feeling that evening. But I feel like I have to keep some distance now in order not to appear AFC and gain back some of my now virtually nonexisting status.


(I hope it is clear that I don't want to fuck her. I see her a potential relationship partner...btw...I still go on parties to game the girls, but still she is in my mind the whole time :roll: )


What are u guys thinking ? How can I climb out of this miserable situation I maneuvered myself in...How to get back on the line.

Maybe It helps other ppl too who done the same shit like me.

Thank for help!!

:D

(She as person was before in a 8year marriage, she's 27, me 26)
Author:  DonkeyDD [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 10:44 am ]
Post subject: 
*push* :)
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:03 am ]
Post subject: 
stop being needy,

telling her you like her is not the problem, she already knows you like her and most likely did before you said so, she is not retarded,

where you are fucking up is you are becomming needy and obsessed and you are not escalating, she is giving you all the opportunities, and you are not taking them,

back off, stay in contact, doesn't matter as long as you stop being needy, if you have to back off and go meet other girls to de-tach yourself emotionally to stop being needy, so be it, but your actions are flooded with neediness, she will not escalate for you, just because you tell her the way you feel, it is your job to escalate, no matter how much you like her and she likes you back, good chance she will rather move onto a guy that will escalate then waste time on a needy guy who won't make a move

don't be desperate, stop falling in love or she will push you away and lose interest, go find other things to occupy yourself while you pursue her, whether it be hobbies or other girls, you have to remove her from the focus of your mind and put other things in front of her, oneitis is growing and is most likely a lack of options
Author:  DonkeyDD [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 11:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Thank you for your response pumpington. I understand that I should back off...I think I going to call her tommorow, as I think just texting will be again a sign for her that I could look needy. And just ask her for an afterwork walk without appearing needy.

Like "Hey, I've got some sparetime, had a lot of things to do, no time for other things right now" and then giving her 2 Dating options she can choose.

I hope thats works out, as now I'm walking on pretty thin ice. ...

For the escalate part...I reckon I should do it the next time we meet right ? Or should I proceed slowly...??? Otherwise I guess It would be too late...Thats my fear now!!

DonkeyDD :?:
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thank you for your response pumpington. I understand that I should back off...I think I going to call her tommorow, as I think just texting will be again a sign for her that I could look needy. And just ask her for an afterwork walk without appearing needy.

Like "Hey, I've got some sparetime, had a lot of things to do, no time for other things right now" and then giving her 2 Dating options she can choose.

I hope thats works out, as now I'm walking on pretty thin ice. ...

For the escalate part...I reckon I should do it the next time we meet right ? Or should I proceed slowly...??? Otherwise I guess It would be too late...Thats my fear now!!

DonkeyDD :?:
this is the whole problem, you are worried about if it works out or not, you are worried about taking risks, you are worried about losing her, you need her, you need this to work out, this really matters to you, it is really important,

confidence is being sure, being unsure and worried, full of doubt, is the opposite of being sure

not suggesting you ''act'' a certain way to pretend you're not needy, I suggest you actually do something that makes you less needy, she is replacable, you don't need this to work, you should take a shot at her but not be so distraught if it doesn't work out, you should get more options then just her, you are not meeting enough women (you could also find hobbies instead of women to keep you occupied), either way, you need something that occupies your focus more, so that her validation is not what motivates you, don't be afraid to move things forward and express intent, if it pushes her away then she was not meant for you anyways, you have to detach from needing an outcome from this, if she is not interested she is not interested, no reason to get bent out of shape about it, from what you wrote, she is totally interested, you are just not escalating and starting to get needy and weird

if it is too late, then it is too late, don't worry about it, she might even come back around if you give her some space, it is even possible that nothing is going wrong and it is all in your head, but realistically you can't cling to one girl and put everything into it, you will just come off as desperate, like you probably are now, you have to just go for it and not care if you get her or not, because if you don't you can move on and meet new girls (if your answer is BUT NO, I MUST HAVE THIS ONE GIRL, I WANT THIS ONE GIRL, well then you are not getting the point and you are being needy)
Author:  maleaco [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 2:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
You should have looked her in her eyes and been like

'The things I am thinking of doing to you right now'
Author:  DonkeyDD [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
@pumpington:

Thank you for elaborating it to me. I understand now what you mean. I will stay easy and relaxed when I'm with her and when I'm alone bring the focus from her to other thinks. Gaining back my alphamale position. I think that should work out. I'm going to call her tonight, like I said and let you guys know what happend. Will be interresting, since it is now 4 days after the "confession". I looking forward to know how she will react than. I gonna post it later. Have to get away from the creepy nice guy type and be confident again.

@maleaco: Excatly I should have done that in that moment...But I did't feel the IoI's in that moment, so I was not sure to escalate. I'm planning to go for it again the next time after some kino. My Inner Game should be stabilized at that point...

As pumpinton pointed out, she is definetly interrested in me, I definetly try to escalate next time. As I have to get away from the friend scheme as soon as possible in my opinion. The Comeback of the Alphamale ;)
Author:  DonkeyDD [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Alright I Called her
UPDATE

Allright guys, so I called her now. The phone call was as I expected. I'm not that happy with the results...

Log:
Me:"Hey how you doing? I did not had that much time the last days, was busy in all around, and yesterday and old schoolfriend (girl) invited me to dinner (said this for social value-par of my plan to regain it) but I had to leave early...yeah and today very busy too"
Her: Oh ok, i was busy too, and sleeping blabla.
Me: And did you loose ur phone again? (neging her because she tends to loose thinks, and last time that happend, she drop in on the street...)
Her: no no everything fine, I try to figure out what food I do for my collegues on my birthday blabla
Me: Oh bring them to McDonalds, pay him back (she told me before she dont like them for some reasons...
Her: Yeah, haha I can't do this

Now we talked again about some meaningsless stuff. Than we said:
Her: Hmm...I don't have that much time to talk today.
Me: Oh thats fine, I awaiting a SPAM call too (not true), I just wanted to give you some options for an afterwork walk. I have time on Thursday and Friday.
Her: Friday I don't have time, Thursday maybe, but I don't know yet, have to see how it goes with work..blabla
Me: Ok, so we contact each other before right.
Her: Yeah, how long do you work on Thursday.
Me: Till 11 bla...
Her: Yeah Ok, so we contact us, have to finish now...OK! so take care bye bye
Me: Bye Bye
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So, in general the phone call did not went really well. Her mood changed from before with nice angel voice, to a more deep concerned voice. She gave short answers and so on...She sounded even a bit pissed, But I guess it just the fact that my alphamale status is still shattered. But still she said that me might have some time...

What to do now ? I guess I'still not in a position. If it works out on Thursday. I have no real Idea how to make her feel comfortable again with me. Should I talk again with her about the feelings or just make a final shot at her with some kino and try to escalate, risking to get rejected!!??

What strategy you would choose ?

Thanks for help in advance!!

:P

EDIT: I just can't understand how the SPAM between us, is getting so dark. What game is she playing now ? What is her objective ? Getting rid of me by playing the bitch ? Only chance I have is next life date I guess.
Author:  kaala [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Congratz for going towards to correct thing and that is: being honest. Maybe she doesnt like it etc....who cares. Go for it. As you've already started, dont be a pussy and back down. go for it :)
Author:  DonkeyDD [ Tue Mar 13, 2012 8:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Congratz for going towards to correct thing and that is: being honest. Maybe she doesnt like it etc....who cares. Go for it. As you've already started, dont be a pussy and back down. go for it :)
The problems is that she propably thinks that I'm a pussy now. So thats my issue. How to get out of this pussy scheme ?? :idea: :?:
EDIT: My Inner game is intact now. But I have no Idea how to game myself out of the pussy impression she has from me now.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Congratz for going towards to correct thing and that is: being honest. Maybe she doesnt like it etc....who cares. Go for it. As you've already started, dont be a pussy and back down. go for it :)
The problems is that she propably thinks that I'm a pussy now. So thats my issue. How to get out of this pussy scheme ?? :idea: :?:
EDIT: My Inner game is intact now. But I have no Idea how to game myself out of the pussy impression she has from me now.

You project yourself as a man. What would a man do?
Author:  DonkeyDD [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:37 am ]
Post subject: 
hmm. He would act like a man. Think I got it. :twisted: Mindblockade! Thanks man, sometimes too easy. Guess my innergame was not ok, :D
Author:  omegaflx [ Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
LAWL dude...you missed every possible IOI on earth. She was totally into you!!!

The lipstick thing, the staring into your eyes at the door step. She wanted you to kiss her and when you don't kiss a girl that wants to be kissed it can be taken as a form of rejection.

Next inviting you over for dinner...and romantic mood!!! Holy shit, if that doesn't say "FUCK ME FUCK ME" than idk what does? Another form of rejection on your part. I understand that you think you want to get into a relationship with her and blah blah blah, but listen bro you have oneitis BAD. I know because I've been there several times, and in every case it has never led to the results I was looking for. Women want sex just as bad if not worse than men. She does not want a guy who is sweet and can care for her deep sensitive inner feelings. She wants a guys who can fuck her brains out and make her orgasm, plain and simple. If you can do that than maybe a relationship might come of that.

And call her AGAIN was total AFC...LISTEN to what me and pumpington are trying to tell you. Your not getting it.

Alas its not toasted. It seems there was serious interest on her part, so a freeze out is in order. DONT text her. DONT call her and DONT see her after work, period. You have to show her that you're not needy. Go out and game other chicks, I know your head is stuck in this one girl and your heart is melting, but seriously this is the only way to get your confidence back up. Shit if you have to start making small talk with old men reading the newspaper at the coffee shop then do it, that will get you comfortable with random people and being social again. Then start small talk with females. Gradually you'll build yourself back up and you'll feel like the MAN. not only because you have the confidence to talk to anyone but also because you got out of your stupor with this one chick.

After all that^^ you should be talking to a minimum of a few chicks at the same time. Most likely you'll even find one that you like better than this eastern-euro chick.

This is really about building your inner self back up man, if you don't you will get depressed and feel worthless and it's not worth it. Trust me I've been there as well as a lot of other guys. Just be the man and everything will fall into place
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