There is this girl I work with that I know likes me, but has a long term, long distance boyfriend - though she has cheated on him. She has even recently split up with him and got back together, so I know that relationship is doomed to fail. Now I realise this girl is clearly not relationship material but it is something I really need to get out of my system. She is almost a oneitis, and it’s only because I know I could never trust her if I was in a relationship with her, that she isn’t a oneitis.

We email each other at work loads, talk a lot, loads of kino etc. She has even kissed me on the lips (couple of seconds at most though) a few times in the last few weeks on the odd night out after work when she is drunk. In fact, last week she not only gave me another peck on the lips, but when I accidentally spilt a bit of my drink on her arm while dancing, she told me to lick it off. She then made me stick my tongue out and moved her arm along my tongue. She did this while I was on the dance floor with work colleagues. Now, this may sound like I had it in the bag, but unbelievably nothing else happened between her and I, and she soon went home afterwards not feeling well. I think that not only did I lack confidence to escalate due to lack of experience and it being her (someone I really want as opposed to a random girl), but what made it worse was several of my colleagues being with us, which made me very self conscious.

My biggest problem is that I’m too much of a pussy dancing with girls and with escalating in general. I really need to just fu**ing go for it. Hopefully, this week I will get another opportunity with her and after reading some tips on here, I will finally have the knowhow to go for it.

How should I do it? Should I just grab her while we’re on the dance floor and kiss her? Should I try and dance somewhere privately with her away from colleagues, and then go for it? Should I try and sit down with her somewhere and kiss her there?
In a normal situation if I had just met a girl in a club etc, when going for the kiss one would normally do it slowly, and kiss her softly and gently etc. As I know this girl and I both want each other, perhaps really going for it and kissing her passionately/aggressively might be the option (though I’d have to be very drunk to do this). Believe me, it’s almost starting to drive me crazy that nothing has happened between us yet, so I believe that passion would be there.

Thanks for your help, any tips for inspiration would also be greatly appreciated.

P.S. I realise this post may seem a little fu**ed up, but it’s all true and I genuinely have never been in a situation like this before in my life. Moreover, recently I’ve been offered a dream job at a bank in London (currently I live in a completely different city) so I will be moving there in 3 months, which puts a time limit on things with this girl, and increases my sense of urgency. Hence, my life is starting to become quite surreal.

Even though Cognizant1 can come off as a prick sometimes hes right most of the time with his one liners This is one of those situations.

How about just manning up, stop being a wuss and go for it, what have you got to lose? Face? Pride? hah dont make me laugh, we've all been there at some point.

Providing that you dont rape or sexually assault this woman, the worse that can happen is her saying no. Big fuckin deal you're moving away from that place soon anyway

Didnt read your entire post I'll be honest, But you dont want to date the girl. but you want to get her out of yoru system. It sounds like you just want to hit it and quit it. Well if you are chatting and talking and she has kissed you and whatever else.....why not just think of some bs reason for her to come over to your place and then make a move. Hell with the club or going for the kiss at the club or whatever you were talking about in your post.....

Get her over to your place and take care of buisness if that is what your after that is

Logistical reasons would make that difficult and I think as she has a bf (though clearly it's not going to work out), she would need alcohol (plausible deniability) to be more forward. Though, if things are finally starting to go well in a club with her and I, a hotel room might be the answer! If only lol