PUA Forum :: Avoiding a long text game.

me: Hey here's my number. Keep it safe! -Valor
hb7: Who? (shes trying to weed me out)
me: I met u at [Location]. (Then I froze her out for a day)

me: (call her a nickname) sup... -Valor
hb7: hey sorry ive been really busy!
me: uve been out partying and drinking with ur friends again (qualifier)
hb7: Lol no basically the opposite (she qualifies)
me: Oh... thought u were a bundle of fun. (qualifier)
hb7: I can be when I have the time to be but I dont usually lol (she qualifies)
me: ? (as in saying, I don't know what u're talking about)
(2 hours later) me: Let me guess. You travel the world on a lush magic carpet - wrestle elephants in Thailand, and swim with sharks in the deep blue sea. (Fun qualifier, with a touch of strawman fallacy because she's always so 'busy')
her: No more like i work alot and do sports and do lots of hw and school research
her again: I wish i was traveling though! (she qualifies thru dhv'ing herself - at this point I feel like she has some interest, so I begin to invest.)
me: We're both busy - workaholics. At least there are some things that still keep my interest. (I qualify myself to her also thru dhv, and hint that I am interested)
her: Like what? I know piano is one! (I don't know.)

me: Hey here's my number. Keep it safe! -Valor
hb7: Who? (shes trying to weed me out)
this is a sign, she either has low interest, or low investment, if she seemed attracted to you during the interaction, then it is the connection you are lacking in (call it comfort or deep rapport, what ever you want), you have to get to know her more then just have fun and flirt around on a shallow level, that is why she will remember you
me: I met u at [Location]. (Then I froze her out for a day)
might as well, not jump into this shitty prove yourself hoop, this is just like when a girl asks how old are you, just give her some ridiculous answer and make her actually invest to get your name ''prince charming, the man of your dreams, mother teresa, the pope, matt damon, etc. etc.''
me: (call her a nickname) sup... -Valor
hb7: hey sorry ive been really busy!
this is girl code for, not really too interested in you at the moment
me: uve been out partying and drinking with ur friends again (qualifier)
hb7: Lol no basically the opposite (she qualifies)
me: Oh... thought u were a bundle of fun. (qualifier)
hb7: I can be when I have the time to be but I dont usually lol (she qualifies)
me: ? (as in saying, I don't know what u're talking about)
she doesn't usually have the time, is what she meant
(2 hours later) me: Let me guess. You travel the world on a lush magic carpet - wrestle elephants in Thailand, and swim with sharks in the deep blue sea. (Fun qualifier, with a touch of strawman fallacy because she's always so 'busy')
her: No more like i work alot and do sports and do lots of hw and school research
her again: I wish i was traveling though! (she qualifies thru dhv'ing herself - at this point I feel like she has some interest, so I begin to invest.)
this is the point she invests and gives you something to work with, you should have qualified her for this and started some threads off of anything in that list that interest you
me: We're both busy - workaholics. At least there are some things that still keep my interest. (I qualify myself to her also thru dhv, and hint that I am interested)
now you qualify yourself, but cut her thread that would have given you a chance to qualify her, the only possible direction you had with this was work talk, and if you read the above thread by her, the frame was that work sucks *she has no free time to do anything fun, what has been taking up all her time?, work, there fore work = negative to her, there for bad choice of frame
her: Like what? I know piano is one! (I don't know.)
this right here is her seeking rapport and trying to change the frame to something she is actually interested in, pay attention to the girls you are talking to, actually listen to what they are saying and pay attention to the frames that pass through the interaction, if they are counter productive, lead the conversation somewhere better, you have to connect with people on a deeper level then this, it is that connection that makes girls remember who you are and gets them calling you instead of the other way around, you become that amazing guy ''valor'' instead of, that random funny guy from the club etc., you become a real person to them rather then just an emotion, getting them to invest and screening them is just the start, you have to make that connection

So far I feel like I went from cold to warm with this girl through text. The background is shes an HB7 i # closed on campus. Fast forwards to now, I am trying to get a day 2 and fuck her.

Heres the text so far:

Quote:

I feel like her last message is a qualifier disguised as seeking rapport. I don't want to invest anymore over text.
At this point I am exasperated with this, and just want to take her out and fuck her. Can you guys help me out?

Pumpington, what is the difference between a bait and qualifier. for ex "I thought you were a bundle of fun" is just as much of a bait as it is a qualifier.

Okay I feel like I starting to understand, here's an excercise:
her again: I wish i was traveling though! (okay she invests and gives me something to work with)
me: Oh so ur capable of walking 10 steps out the front door? That's great! (i qualify her for her interest in being outside: seeing if she can leave the house for a potential day 2)

Quote:

it would be more like

I love going traveling, seeing other parts of the world is like an adventure, that is so cool that you like to travel also, is there anywhere you have been recently or would like to go?

(you have set your preference and qualified her, preference = you love traveling, she qualifies to the preference, so you qualify her by letting her know, ''that is so cool that you travel also'', you have to let her know that she qualifies, show interest in her)

you can do it in plenty of different orders, it does not have to be in one linnear order, bait can be as simple as,

you:I love pie
her:I love pie too
you:wow you're amazing, lets make pie together

you are looking for her to take your bait (preference), and try to qualify for you, and seek your approval, when she does, reward her by letting her know that she ''qualifies'' for your approval

and when you make an assumption, it can bait to qualify or dis-qualify, don't be afraid to dis-qualify her either, basically just screen for the behavior you want to see, for example when a girl doesn't qualify the way you want, you can make fun of her

you:I love pie
her:I don't really like pie, but cake is really good
you:listen, you don't like pie, I understand, now we can't hang out ever, anyone who doesn't like pie is weird... obviously

as for day 2's, you shouldn't be just getting contact info, you should be meeting in person, then basically making a good impression, and inviting her out for a day two, the phone number etc. comes as a result of the date, but you should make an effort to get to know her, if you pull it off well and she likes you, she will be calling you and trying to get you to invest in her, instead of the other way around

No offense but this is all just mental masturbation. Text should be used to get the girl out, it shouldn't be taken too seriously so long as you arent texting her 24/7 so long as she has fun with u she'll always want more. Your approach is too much talk talk. Waste of time.

Author:	Valor91 [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:24 am ]
Post subject:	Avoiding a long text game.
So far I feel like I went from cold to warm with this girl through text. The background is shes an HB7 i # closed on campus. Fast forwards to now, I am trying to get a day 2 and fuck her. Heres the text so far: Quote: me: Hey here's my number. Keep it safe! -Valor hb7: Who? (shes trying to weed me out) me: I met u at [Location]. (Then I froze her out for a day) me: (call her a nickname) sup... -Valor hb7: hey sorry ive been really busy! me: uve been out partying and drinking with ur friends again (qualifier) hb7: Lol no basically the opposite (she qualifies) me: Oh... thought u were a bundle of fun. (qualifier) hb7: I can be when I have the time to be but I dont usually lol (she qualifies) me: ? (as in saying, I don't know what u're talking about) (2 hours later) me: Let me guess. You travel the world on a lush magic carpet - wrestle elephants in Thailand, and swim with sharks in the deep blue sea. (Fun qualifier, with a touch of strawman fallacy because she's always so 'busy') her: No more like i work alot and do sports and do lots of hw and school research her again: I wish i was traveling though! (she qualifies thru dhv'ing herself - at this point I feel like she has some interest, so I begin to invest.) me: We're both busy - workaholics. At least there are some things that still keep my interest. (I qualify myself to her also thru dhv, and hint that I am interested) her: Like what? I know piano is one! (I don't know.) I feel like her last message is a qualifier disguised as seeking rapport. I don't want to invest anymore over text. At this point I am exasperated with this, and just want to take her out and fuck her. Can you guys help me out?[/quote]

Author:	AmazingArt [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:23 am ]
Post subject:
Wow man you over analyze. Now you had time to analyze the texts but when you talk to her these things happen within seconds. Your on the right track. Funny playful and qualifying texts. Now give her a call. If you want to continue texting a little bit make the texts a little bit more sexually playful. Like for example she said "Like what? I know piano is one!" I would reply "oh wow we only met and you're trying to figure me out already lol " eventually after a few of these texts remove the word "lol" because then it seems too needy. After you do that tell her you found the conversation interesting and wanna continue it but in real life. Once you see her flirt with her a little bit build sexual tension and say whatever is in your mind at that point. You can even tell the girl you think she's cute and from that point things will happen naturally.

Author:	Valor91 [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:23 am ]
Post subject:
Yeah I'm at the point where I need to analyze everything to actually be aware of it happening, otherwise everything would be a meaningless jumble of interactions, and so far that has gotten me zero sex. These are the things I think about during an interaction: qualify investment interest attraction frame and on top of that these things during a live interaction: kino escalation eye contact body language so you can understand why I need to analyze so often as there is always so much that goes on - I would easily let a whole bunch of stuff slip past me.

Author:	pumpington [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:03 am ]
Post subject:
you're lacking a connection with this girl, this whole interaction is completely shallow on the surface, you should worry a little less about qualifying yourself to anything, all you should be paying attention to, is the frame around what is happening, if you just opened her, then qualifying yourself for her could make her bored and chase her off, once you have some investment out of her, give and take, but try to be the person leading more then being led, although it is ok to qualify yourself to something that does not have much potential to dis-qualify you from her perspective (religious stance, political views, financial situation, how many girls you have been with, etc. etc. are good to avoid qualifying yourself to her about), you can talk about yourself, it is not intant death, that is how a connection is built, you exchange commonalities, but what you want to avoid is just qualifying yourself without being asked, or qualifying to her on something that could fuck you over (dis-qualify yourself), you are missing a depth to your conversations, you are not even connecting with her or actually trying to get to know her as a person, get deeper into who she is, really show real interest in her as a person and qualify her, by letting her know, you like her for reasons, beyond her looks, to qualify is not just to answer the question, it is to let her know she is qualified to get interest from you, and why, if you are doing m3, the format is bait hook real release question = bait hook = answer reel = qualify release = dis-qualify example: me: Oh... thought u were a bundle of fun. (bait, not qualifier, this is a question that is the qualifier, because it baits out a quality from her that you can judge and qualify/dis-qualify her on) you have to get deeper then this hb7: I can be when I have the time to be but I dont usually lol there is nothing here for you to qualify her on instead of a ?, you could have continued to bait for something to qualify her on, oh, I see, what do you like to do for fun, I love girls who go out in their spare time? (don't use this exact line, qualify girls on specific qualities that you actually want in a girl, because it will influence their behavior if they are attracted to you) then she either takes the bait and you can reel her in (qualify her to be a romantic interest), then release (dis-qualify) her:I like to go out to the club and dance you:no way, I love to dance, god I think im in love with you (qualify), we should avoid each other now (dis-qualify) or she doesn't take the bait her:LOL I donno, don't really have spare time lately in that case you can tease her a bit to try to open her up, or add more value to the conversation example. you:I see, you're like a workaholic hobbit that crys herself to sleep after a long day of homework =='', AMIRIGHT!? don't worry we need to get you something fun to do.. stat! you have to play with what you got, but you really can only take it so far, as a girl who is dis-interested will not really want to invest, and a girl who is interested will want to invest even if you are barley doing jack all, she will be prying you and seeking rapport from you etc. etc. if you know anything about her, this is a good chance to show your interests and qualify her on them, tell her some of your hobbies but make sure not to keep things onesided, bring some value to her, you go first, she goes second, for example if you like to swim or club or something, or like a certain type of music or taking pictures or god knows what, tell her your interests and see if she shares the same interests, THEN QUALIFY HER ON THEM, qualification is your way of showing INTEREST, it is not just... oh I asked a question, she answers FUCKING SWEET QUALIFICATION COMPLETE TIME TO FUCK!!, no, you qualify her and get deep rapport, then exchange commonalities form a connection and become friends, as long as she has interest in you and you escalate and try to close within the time frame she gives you of interest, you are fine, just focus on the connection, getting her alone, and escalating to something more geared towards having sex GOOD LUCK

Author:	Valor91 [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:
Pumpington, I've seen some great posts from you In the past but this one made very little sense to me. To clarify I am not trying to follow the m3 method or am I aware of using any mystery methods.

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Avoiding a long text game. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=130372	Page 1 of 2

Author:	pumpington [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 7:37 pm ]
Post subject:
the point is, you are keeping things in the realm of small talk, you want her to invest emotionally, to do this, hunt her emotions and ask questions that show a genuine interest in her as a person also, you are baiting to qualify, but are not qualifying her you are not stating to her that she is qualified, do you get what that means?, it is explained how in the above post and pointed out bait, hook, reel, release is from m3, you don't have to follow that exact formula but that is how that works, set preference (qualifier-the bait) express that person meets preference (qualify-male to female interest) you have to give her interest, show her interest from her seeking to qualify herself for you and actively seek to qualify her on things that are important to you, don't have a shitty convo that leads to no where, if you are going to be indirect you have to show intent, no intent leads to no where, indirect or direct the only difference is there is more of a tendency to build attraction before showing interest when going indirect, you wait for her to show interest first, then you show it after (3 ioi's start qualifying, etc.) Quote: me: Hey here's my number. Keep it safe! -Valor hb7: Who? (shes trying to weed me out) this is a sign, she either has low interest, or low investment, if she seemed attracted to you during the interaction, then it is the connection you are lacking in (call it comfort or deep rapport, what ever you want), you have to get to know her more then just have fun and flirt around on a shallow level, that is why she will remember you me: I met u at [Location]. (Then I froze her out for a day) might as well, not jump into this shitty prove yourself hoop, this is just like when a girl asks how old are you, just give her some ridiculous answer and make her actually invest to get your name ''prince charming, the man of your dreams, mother teresa, the pope, matt damon, etc. etc.'' me: (call her a nickname) sup... -Valor hb7: hey sorry ive been really busy! this is girl code for, not really too interested in you at the moment me: uve been out partying and drinking with ur friends again (qualifier) hb7: Lol no basically the opposite (she qualifies) me: Oh... thought u were a bundle of fun. (qualifier) hb7: I can be when I have the time to be but I dont usually lol (she qualifies) me: ? (as in saying, I don't know what u're talking about) she doesn't usually have the time, is what she meant (2 hours later) me: Let me guess. You travel the world on a lush magic carpet - wrestle elephants in Thailand, and swim with sharks in the deep blue sea. (Fun qualifier, with a touch of strawman fallacy because she's always so 'busy') her: No more like i work alot and do sports and do lots of hw and school research her again: I wish i was traveling though! (she qualifies thru dhv'ing herself - at this point I feel like she has some interest, so I begin to invest.) this is the point she invests and gives you something to work with, you should have qualified her for this and started some threads off of anything in that list that interest you me: We're both busy - workaholics. At least there are some things that still keep my interest. (I qualify myself to her also thru dhv, and hint that I am interested) now you qualify yourself, but cut her thread that would have given you a chance to qualify her, the only possible direction you had with this was work talk, and if you read the above thread by her, the frame was that work sucks *she has no free time to do anything fun, what has been taking up all her time?, work, there fore work = negative to her, there for bad choice of frame her: Like what? I know piano is one! (I don't know.) this right here is her seeking rapport and trying to change the frame to something she is actually interested in, pay attention to the girls you are talking to, actually listen to what they are saying and pay attention to the frames that pass through the interaction, if they are counter productive, lead the conversation somewhere better, you have to connect with people on a deeper level then this, it is that connection that makes girls remember who you are and gets them calling you instead of the other way around, you become that amazing guy ''valor'' instead of, that random funny guy from the club etc., you become a real person to them rather then just an emotion, getting them to invest and screening them is just the start, you have to make that connection also it is damn important, you have to hit on her, show interest for her chasing your validation, it will encourage the behavior (this is explained in the above post) GOOD LUCK

Author:	Cognizant1 [ Mon Mar 05, 2012 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Avoiding a long text game.
Quote: So far I feel like I went from cold to warm with this girl through text. The background is shes an HB7 i # closed on campus. Fast forwards to now, I am trying to get a day 2 and fuck her. Heres the text so far: Quote: me: Hey here's my number. Keep it safe! -Valor hb7: Who? (shes trying to weed me out) me: I met u at [Location]. (Then I froze her out for a day) me: (call her a nickname) sup... -Valor hb7: hey sorry ive been really busy! me: uve been out partying and drinking with ur friends again (qualifier) hb7: Lol no basically the opposite (she qualifies) me: Oh... thought u were a bundle of fun. (qualifier) hb7: I can be when I have the time to be but I dont usually lol (she qualifies) me: ? (as in saying, I don't know what u're talking about) (2 hours later) me: Let me guess. You travel the world on a lush magic carpet - wrestle elephants in Thailand, and swim with sharks in the deep blue sea. (Fun qualifier, with a touch of strawman fallacy because she's always so 'busy') her: No more like i work alot and do sports and do lots of hw and school research her again: I wish i was traveling though! (she qualifies thru dhv'ing herself - at this point I feel like she has some interest, so I begin to invest.) me: We're both busy - workaholics. At least there are some things that still keep my interest. (I qualify myself to her also thru dhv, and hint that I am interested) her: Like what? I know piano is one! (I don't know.) I feel like her last message is a qualifier disguised as seeking rapport. I don't want to invest anymore over text. At this point I am exasperated with this, and just want to take her out and fuck her. Can you guys help me out? Stop it with the PUA bullsh*t, this isn't a science experiment, but rather interaction with another human being. Start being genuine, and less awkward (as the vast majority of PUA techniques will make you look).

Author:	Valor91 [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 7:57 am ]
Post subject:
Pumpington, what is the difference between a bait and qualifier. for ex "I thought you were a bundle of fun" is just as much of a bait as it is a qualifier.

Author:	pumpington [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:13 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Pumpington, what is the difference between a bait and qualifier. for ex "I thought you were a bundle of fun" is just as much of a bait as it is a qualifier. ''I thought you were a bundle of fun'' you are baiting her to explain herself to why she is fun (with the frame that you are not sure if she is fun or not the context of ''I thought''), if she wants to qualify as fun to you, then she will explain then it is your job, to complete the cycle, by letting her know, she either qualified, or did not qualify to what you like, or dis-like so if she says something closed off to your bait and does not explain herself, then she is not trying to qualify, she is just addressing your question, it is the difference between ''I can be when I have the time to be but I dont usually lol'' and ''I am totally fun, I do xyz, and go out and, blah blah blah'' you can't tell her she is qualified off of, ''I can be fun when I have the time, but I don't usually have the time'' she is not investing for you off of that, you can't say, wow I like you because you are fun (qualify her, tell her why she is qualified) that is something you would have to open her up more about to get anything to work with qualifier can be the question that sets up a preference (or a preference to something it's self, or a challenge, anything that leads to you being able to either qualify or dis-qualify her as a result of her meeting or not meeting that preference) , for which you can ''qualify'' her on

Author:	Valor91 [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:51 am ]
Post subject:
Okay I feel like I starting to understand, here's an excercise: her again: I wish i was traveling though! (okay she invests and gives me something to work with) me: Oh so ur capable of walking 10 steps out the front door? That's great! (i qualify her for her interest in being outside: seeing if she can leave the house for a potential day 2)

Author:	Cognizant1 [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:55 am ]
Post subject:
you asked about avoiding a long text game yet you're looking to keep it going... this infers you're scared to pull the trigger/escalate. It's ok to text every now and then, but you should use it primarily as a means to getting her out (e.g. making plans) rather than anything else. If you aren't escalating with her sexually in person, you can have the best text game in the world and it wont matter...in fact, you'll be friended quicker because sexual tension is illusory in the text game, particularly if you've yet to sleep with her. Your texts should be "I'm heading to such-and-such a place gonna be a blast you should join me" Not idle banter, surface-level conversation and you coming here analyzing it all.

Author:	pumpington [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:05 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Okay I feel like I starting to understand, here's an excercise: her again: I wish i was traveling though! (okay she invests and gives me something to work with) me: Oh so ur capable of walking 10 steps out the front door? That's great! (i qualify her for her interest in being outside: seeing if she can leave the house for a potential day 2) it would be more like I love going traveling, seeing other parts of the world is like an adventure, that is so cool that you like to travel also, is there anywhere you have been recently or would like to go? (you have set your preference and qualified her, preference = you love traveling, she qualifies to the preference, so you qualify her by letting her know, ''that is so cool that you travel also'', you have to let her know that she qualifies, show interest in her) you can do it in plenty of different orders, it does not have to be in one linnear order, bait can be as simple as, you:I love pie her:I love pie too you:wow you're amazing, lets make pie together you are looking for her to take your bait (preference), and try to qualify for you, and seek your approval, when she does, reward her by letting her know that she ''qualifies'' for your approval and when you make an assumption, it can bait to qualify or dis-qualify, don't be afraid to dis-qualify her either, basically just screen for the behavior you want to see, for example when a girl doesn't qualify the way you want, you can make fun of her you:I love pie her:I don't really like pie, but cake is really good you:listen, you don't like pie, I understand, now we can't hang out ever, anyone who doesn't like pie is weird... obviously as for day 2's, you shouldn't be just getting contact info, you should be meeting in person, then basically making a good impression, and inviting her out for a day two, the phone number etc. comes as a result of the date, but you should make an effort to get to know her, if you pull it off well and she likes you, she will be calling you and trying to get you to invest in her, instead of the other way around

Author:	Cognizant1 [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:16 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Okay I feel like I starting to understand, here's an excercise: her again: I wish i was traveling though! (okay she invests and gives me something to work with) me: Oh so ur capable of walking 10 steps out the front door? That's great! (i qualify her for her interest in being outside: seeing if she can leave the house for a potential day 2) it would be more like I love going traveling, seeing other parts of the world is like an adventure, that is so cool that you like to travel also, is there anywhere you have been recently or would like to go? (you have set your preference and qualified her, preference = you love traveling, she qualifies to the preference, so you qualify her by letting her know, ''that is so cool that you travel also'', you have to let her know that she qualifies, show interest in her) you can do it in plenty of different orders, it does not have to be in one linnear order, bait can be as simple as, you:I love pie her:I love pie too you:wow you're amazing, lets make pie together you are looking for her to take your bait (preference), and try to qualify for you, and seek your approval, when she does, reward her by letting her know that she ''qualifies'' for your approval and when you make an assumption, it can bait to qualify or dis-qualify, don't be afraid to dis-qualify her either, basically just screen for the behavior you want to see, for example when a girl doesn't qualify the way you want, you can make fun of her you:I love pie her:I don't really like pie, but cake is really good you:listen, you don't like pie, I understand, now we can't hang out ever, anyone who doesn't like pie is weird... obviously as for day 2's, you shouldn't be just getting contact info, you should be meeting in person, then basically making a good impression, and inviting her out for a day two, the phone number etc. comes as a result of the date, but you should make an effort to get to know her, if you pull it off well and she likes you, she will be calling you and trying to get you to invest in her, instead of the other way around No offense but this is all just mental masturbation. Text should be used to get the girl out, it shouldn't be taken too seriously so long as you arent texting her 24/7 so long as she has fun with u she'll always want more. Your approach is too much talk talk. Waste of time.

Author:	pumpington [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:27 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: No offense but this is all just mental masturbation. Text should be used to get the girl out, it shouldn't be taken too seriously so long as you arent texting her 24/7 so long as she has fun with u she'll always want more. Your approach is too much talk talk. Waste of time. you should post a video of you pulling a girl without talking, or having a ''fun'' interaction that leads to sex, where you don't qualify a girl in some shape or form

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Author:	Valor91 [ Tue Mar 06, 2012 5:10 pm ]
Post subject:
What is the difference between a suck up and setting a preference? For example: Her: I wish I was traveling Me: I love traveling.