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https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=129295		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Ability [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 12:17 am ]
Post subject:  I need to get laid.
Okay so I know this is kind of ass backwards, but I was hoping for some advice. I'm 29 and still a virgin. Even the thought of talking to a girl kinda panics me. I've been trying to use online dating because in person I've been too scared. I've asked friends for help, but they refuse and it's hard for me to go out to a bar alone and try to talk to people. I don't drink and it would be fairly awkward. Anyways I asked a girl if she wanted to hang out sometime and she agreed. Any advice you guys could give for where to take her (she's 20), how to calm my nerves, what to talk about, or anything else that relates to this would be quite appreciated. I know -nothing- about this girl. I had a frivolous conversation with her and then asked her to hang out. Heck, I don't even know her name yet lol....

Edit: If it's relevant I'd say she's an 8 and I'm a 5. *shrug*
Author:  jabmaster [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 12:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Dude... just reading your post tells me how much help you need, to start off you really need to work on your confidence.

You need to start working hard on improving your life and yourself.
Start reading something for PUA begginers, I strongly suggest "the attraction code".

As long as you see yourself as a 5 you will not succeed.
Author:  P-Style [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 4:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ok there are tons of books on pickup but start reading them after you've gone out with this girl. There are lots of techniques in these books which will backfire badly when used incorrectly. (And yea, you will be using it incorrectly.)

So the main mindset for you: she's attracted to you.

She really is. Because otherwise she wouldn't be going out with you.
What you need to do is take her to a park or something similar where you can sit down and slowly escalate towards a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less.

Keep the pua lingo for later.
Author:  EddieFews [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
How can you be afraid of something that can't kill you or harm you? Thats a case of insanity my friend
Author:  cola22 [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 5:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
The fear can affect anyone from time to time but it is only a case of funneling it in the right direction to achieve a positive outcome. Don't think about it so deeply, or intensely. Just think she has already agreed to meet you which is a massive positive! Confidence is the key to any situation and this comes from looking at situations positively, for starters be confident as she said yes!! Quoted from Mystery "Fake it, until you make it!" trust me it will end up pulling together.

All relationships have to start somewhere and this generally means establishing a good rapport with the person first. The fact you don't know anything about the girl is a positive thing as it will give you loads of open topics to discuss, if one topic starts to turn sour then move on. Females are really clever when it comes to body language so she will sense some sort of nerves within you, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing as this shows a genuine likeness towards her and also shows that you are not robotic, she will be feeling exactly the same. It is just easier for females as the omen is on us!

All i would advise is meeting in a public place such as a bar or restaurant in the evening or coffee house during the day, and keep it short (i would say about 2/3 hours maximum). This way you wont run out of material to say and it wont become stale. If your the one that "has" to leave then it will keep her interested! Don't be thinking about sex whilst with her! Day dreams are for private times! When you are with her stay focused and listen to what she says! That way you will be able to respond to what she says and have a good conversation! If you can through in some cheeky banter, a little joke here and there but always smile to let her know you are playing!

Finally, just enjoy yourself! If she sees you enjoying yourself then she will naturally enjoy herself as well, humans have a natural gift to mirror the emotions of the person they are interacting with!

Good luck! let us know how it goes :)

Peace, Cola x
Author:  Zolstice [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 6:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
You're awesome. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that. Don't hold the girl like she's made of glass, she'll only break away from you.

If she wanted to hang out with you, cool. If she doesn't blow you while you're hanging out, that's cool too. Find someone else.

Since you're 29, I suggest you read up on daygame.
Author:  Ability [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you guys for your responses. I thought maybe I'd share a little more info and see if it's relevant. I talked to this girl about nothing but a TV show before she agreed to meet me. She also has casual sex in her profile and says she's not looking for anything serious. My friend basically says it's "fuck or fail" with her when I meet her. Any thoughts on that?
Author:  lloydPapi [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
my advice is just be yourself ...act like you know the girl for time always keep good body language chin up,chest forward, hands out off pocket and keep a good eye contact it shows that your confident .talk slow not too slow though also smile a little bit this shows your not shy
and what to talk about mmmm jus ask her hows her day, what would she she be doing if right now if she didnt come n see you ,what does she do with herself
basically ask open-ended question which will result in her talking and then you just respond on what she says

although the conversation topic just comes around naturaly.
the more you think about shit the pressure its gets to you

remember you got 1 mouth to talk and 2 ears to listen .so listen more then you talk

dont be scared girls dont bite so go out and have a good time
Author:  titanman [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Afraid? What's the worse that can happen? She shoots you down, big woop. TBH it would be good if she did shoot you down, because it builds your confidence (as long as you don't mope about it and act like she was the one).

I was nervous, not as bad as you but still, and eventually you figure out that they are just people too, the same thoughts that go through your head go through hers 'does he like me', 'am i good looking enough' etc.

Shot down. Embarrassment short term. Long term confidence. You move on.

BUT you're not gonna get shot down are you? No. You own. She's lucky you invited her. She wants you. You're the man.

Ignore your friend.
Author:  bp029 [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 7:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
How can you be afraid of something that can't kill you or harm you? Thats a case of insanity my friend
Great sig
Author:  tdb183 [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
write a list mate or a memo on your phone simple things e.g
-what food she/you like
-what drinks she/you like
-what tv/films she/you like
-what hobbies she/you have

there are loads simple everyday questions you can ask and just one of these points can be a full convo. you can use most of these points to make a second date to just take your time be confidant keep cool your worth more than you think
:D
Author:  P-Style [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
She also has casual sex in her profile and says she's not looking for anything serious.
Ok in this case: leave the date and fix a movie at your place. Get some condoms and escalate properly (touching > kiss > playing with tits > inner legs > pussy). She's totally down for it.
(btw sex isn't perfect and things won't go like in pornos where the guy is rock hard for hours and jizzes ten gallons of cum on her eager face. But it is your task as the man to remain calm when you're - for example - occuring a failure to erect.)
Author:  Shyy [ Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Don't hold the girl like she's made of glass, she'll only break away from you.
I like that..

Just like everyone else has been saying in this post.. Read some Pick-up material.
Find some friends who seem like they can help you in this area of your life.
Go out and try the noobie mission - Also start going and visiting clubs, bars, malls.. Places where females are likely to be, and get yourself involved in those activities.
Pick-up is just like anything else...Like studying math.. Only way you will get better is by understanding and doing.

~Goodluck
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