PUA Forum :: Need advice with girl

what I gathered from your post was you and her flirt on facebook a bit, she does something, you think you own her, you get super needy and butthurt and try to ''punish'' her cause you think she cares and you own her, this turns her off completely after you burn her and cut contact

later on you see her again, she is now butthurt and dis-likes you cause you were rude/mean to her for what she deems as no reason (as the two of you were not dating nor having sex)

she holds a grudge and chats up your friend while ignoring you, maybe she just genuinely likes your friend, maybe she just hates you enough to do it just cause she thinks it pisses you off

you try to message her, she wants no part of it, she makes excuses why not to talk to you, and dis-qualifies you telling you she has another guy

in short she is still pissed about what ever you did and holds a grudge (that is my guess), it's not really a shit test or anything, she is just sensative and you hurt her feelings now she is not all that fond of you

jealousy is usually used for two reasons
1)wants to see what happens and if you will make a move
2)wants to make you feel bad

doesn't nessicarily means she cares at all, either testing the waters on how much you care, or just plain dis-likes you and wants to rub it in, or option 3 is she isn't even trying to make you jealous at all, just actually likes other guys and it has nothing to do with you

I seriously doubt she wants you or anyone else to see her as a slut, more likely she wants you to know she is seeing other guys so you will take that as a hint to leave her alone

if you really want to pursue this girl, I suggest you just ask her what is up not in a FUCK YOU, confrontational way, but in a more genuine, hey I used to really like you, and I don't know what happened, what is going on, why don't we talk? kind of way, need to bitch it up for a bit man to break her shell, show some vunrability so she will let you in, can't be mr. tough guy alpha rock man 24/7

either that or just back off and give it more time, then re-contact after some time like nothing ever happened

and if you take the primary route and she ignores, just give it time, don't keep repeatedly contacting her, let her think about what you said and come to you

Quote:

No. You didn't read thoroughly. She did something that I didn't like. This involved no other person. I did something she didn't like. She said something that I didn't like. I cut contact. It was really no big deal at all, but I let my pride do the thinking for me and in result I cut her off. Also, there was no neediness involved. All feelings were mutual, she cared, hence why the freeze out worked.

Quote:

She knew what the reason was, as insignificant as it may have been. Your point may have been valid if my friend hadn't told me that she only chats him up when I'm with him. Grudge? Sure. It's out of spite. It's definately out of jealousy. She's still hurt from it, and the drastic change in her attitude came after she had seen me with other girls. The one thing that I'm hung up on is if she's doing it bbecause she wants me or wants me to feel what she felt. The fact is, I had the opportunity to make it a sure thing but wanted to keep my options open. It was summer, and I am a guy, after all.

Quote:

This is what I want to know. Honestly, I can't distinguish what it is. Could be a mixture of all three, possibilities are endless and there's only one way to find the answer. The reason why I'm leaning towards her caring is because of how she attempted to make me jealous ONLY after I had made her jealous. This Friend with Benefits character appeared from the sky, only to have no name. I later found that she was only with her girl friends. I'm nearly positive that this no-name fuck buddy was only a jealousy tactic.

Quote:

I seriously doubt she wants you or anyone else to see her as a slut, more likely she wants you to know she is seeing other guys so you will take that as a hint to leave her alone

You're right, not slutty, but definately valuable and desirable. Like she's having fun and seeing different guys on a regular basis. This girl is an attention whore. She seeks attention and validation from all males and thrives from it. Very openly chatting guys up on Facebook - public, for all to see.

Quote:

Funny you say this, I was thinking of the same way of going about it. This will show what her true intentions are. If we don't even make it far enough to such a conversation, or she doesn't comply, I'm going to suspect that she doesn't care. This is hard for me to believe from my personal experience, however, and she's been acting in this way for all of our interactions since. At which point, I drop this for good. To the contrary, if I do end up getting to such a conversation, there will inevitably be need for explanations on certain matters that've occured recently, including after I've posted this. I've learned from PU rules that you aren't ever supposed to explain yourself to a woman, so I'm not sure how to handle this either.

Quote:

If she denies me this conversation, I can rest assured and be happily done.

qualification is more about not qualifying to her standards, not trying to impress her with what your like, or what you own, but more just demonstrating it with how you are and avoiding telling her what you are like and explaining yourself to her when she corners you, alot of girls have this ideal model of what the perfect guy is in there head, and the more you qualify yourself to her and you don't line up with that model, the more that can work agaisnt you, how ever communicating with a girl is fine, trying to bitch up and explain how shes so great and your terrible and your sorry and blah blah blah, is bad, just stay confident within yourself but be genuine, stating your likes/dis-likes and preferences is qualifying her, not qualifying yourself, because if she lines up with what you want you can give her attention and show her you like that about her, and have something to talk about with her, while if she doesn't you can tease her, instead of explaining to her ''WHY'' you did what you did, just explain what you want and how you feel, and try to avoid explaining anything beyond that, stay in the present as much as possible and avoid the past unless it is positive, also just explaining yourself to girls can kill the whole emotional flow of the conversation and bring things to a neutral non emotional level

''hey I used to really like you, and I don't know what happened, what is going on, why don't we talk anymore?''

Author:	Log!c [ Thu Feb 09, 2012 8:29 am ]
Post subject:	Need advice with girl
This is going to be long, so bear with me. HB8.5, bangin' body, cute face. We had a thing over the summer, never in person due to distance, SPAM, texts, calls, gf/bf frame, lots of talking, I broke it off over something insignificant (like an idiot), acted like a huge dick, she reinitiates, I still act like a dick, no contact for 6 months. I genuinely liked this girl. Well, as it turns out, she's turned into a real (confusing) bitch. I'll elaborate on that in a moment. I believe I'm (one of) her first emotional attachments. Over this short period of time, she's gotten a lot of male attention on Facebook due to her looks (she looks the same as before...), an abundance of male validation, telling her she's "gorgeous", "hmu", you know, the usual HB bullshit. It's evident that this has gone to her head and turned her into a stuck up bitch. I think she gets the notion that she can treat guys like shit now. She may also have some parental issues with her father and/or mother. She acts somewhat easy on Facebook (for anyone to see). Her attitude confuses me, nonetheless. She plays extremely hard to get with me, like she wants me to persue her. I saw her about 4 weeks ago with her friend at the mall, and myself with mine. She approached my friend, pretended not to recognize me, and didn't look in my direction once until I spoke. I "introduced" myself (we hadn't met in person, but she obviously knew it was me), offered a handshake playfully, and she melted with laughter, saying she knew me - then she and her friend walk away. Soon after, they come back to my friend with another excuse to talk to him. He'd informed me after that he knew they were bullshit excuses and provided details to prove it. They've occured a number of times. Whatever, my group and hers talk for a few, they leave again. A week or two later, again, we meet at the mall. She with a different friend, I with a different friend. We were walking on the same path, I opened her, we engage in small talk, dialogue is good, she decides to "go" with her friend (i.e. do nothing and walk around). In about ten minutes or less, my buddy and I are sitting at a table with 2 HB7.5s, and she witnesses it with her friend. At this point, I'd forgotten about her and didn't expect to see her again. My buddy is facing her, I've got my back to her with an HB next to me. He tells me she's interested and looking over, I didn't give much of a fuck, but inevitably, she'd gotten jealous from that. They leave the mall. A week later, I'm out with my friend, her name pops up in the typical guy talk session, anyways, I lent him my phone to use FB, he messages her from my account. I didn't want to talk to her, but shit happens. She messages a few minutes later telling me she's with her "boy toy and friends ttyl". I realized that she was trying to get me jealous. Undoubtedly as revenge for when I'd unintentionally made her jealous the week before. I figured she must've been bullshitting, so I tested her back. This may be seen as needy, but the best option in my opinion. Me(my friend): "Hey what's up" HB: "With my boy toy & my friends ttyl" (shit test) Me: "who's the lucky guy" (she controls the frame) HB: "Someone but you don't know him" (caught her in a bullshit lie. Her FB wall reinforces that this was a lie, which is even more humerous.) Me: "Oh Someone I know that guy" (Basically, "I know your lying", but adding light humor via sarcasm. I've maintained a frame of indifference.) HB: "That's cool but yeah I gtg bye" (She's uncomfortable with being caught in a lie, I suppose?) A week following this, I'm with my group of friends at the mall, she shows up with a friend and two guys who have nothing much to them. We see them walking a few times during the first hour or so. Then, we sit at a table to ourselves. She comes along and stands a few feet in front of me with her girl friend, looking directly at my friend with another bullshit excuse to talk to him. She didn't look at me once, while I was looking (Same move she pulled before). I simply ignored her this time, I wasn't sure how to recover from this. If I continue to persue her, I feel that appear as needy - so I didn't. While this was happening, she left the guys she was with a distance away. My friends and I left, she went to the movies with hers(I think?). I'd seen her the other night on my FB newsfeed being very open with another guy("I love you heart we need to hang out", ect.), and making plans with different guys to go to the movies with. I'm left very confused in result. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- She approaches my friend with bullshit excuses, doesn't acknowledge me, look at me, or initiate any kind of contact unless I do first. She = Jealous = Cares. Her attempts to make me jealous = She wants me to care. She plays hard to get with me, yet seems to be something of a slut. (Facebook) And wants me to think that she's a slut (I.E. "boy toy" = fuck buddy). Does she want to make me jealous because she cares about me and wants me to chase her, or is it just for my attention, validation, to win me over, ect.? This makes no fucking sense to me. As you may notice, I've developed slight oneitis for said HB, although I was just fine before I began seeing her. And hearing about her. This is, of course, because I haven't fucked her. Now, I realize that just about any PUA would advise me to "move on", "game other girls", ect. However, my ultimate motive is to truly comprehend this particular situation and how to handle it correctly. I need the experience, as I'm nearly positive that this issue will present itself again in my future as long as I'm gaming difficult girls. I'm looking for a lay here. I won't be satisfied until I reach that point. Again, anyone with an opinion or advice (hopefully experience) pertaining to the above would be greatly appreciated.

Author:	FCgame [ Fri Feb 10, 2012 12:32 pm ]
Post subject:
I hate long threats,it makes me think about an old lady talking bla bla bla bla Make it short forget about "she said" "I said" thing and tell me what is that you want and I will help you out

Author:	pumpington [ Fri Feb 10, 2012 12:47 pm ]
Post subject:
what I gathered from your post was you and her flirt on facebook a bit, she does something, you think you own her, you get super needy and butthurt and try to ''punish'' her cause you think she cares and you own her, this turns her off completely after you burn her and cut contact later on you see her again, she is now butthurt and dis-likes you cause you were rude/mean to her for what she deems as no reason (as the two of you were not dating nor having sex) she holds a grudge and chats up your friend while ignoring you, maybe she just genuinely likes your friend, maybe she just hates you enough to do it just cause she thinks it pisses you off you try to message her, she wants no part of it, she makes excuses why not to talk to you, and dis-qualifies you telling you she has another guy in short she is still pissed about what ever you did and holds a grudge (that is my guess), it's not really a shit test or anything, she is just sensative and you hurt her feelings now she is not all that fond of you jealousy is usually used for two reasons 1)wants to see what happens and if you will make a move 2)wants to make you feel bad doesn't nessicarily means she cares at all, either testing the waters on how much you care, or just plain dis-likes you and wants to rub it in, or option 3 is she isn't even trying to make you jealous at all, just actually likes other guys and it has nothing to do with you I seriously doubt she wants you or anyone else to see her as a slut, more likely she wants you to know she is seeing other guys so you will take that as a hint to leave her alone if you really want to pursue this girl, I suggest you just ask her what is up not in a FUCK YOU, confrontational way, but in a more genuine, hey I used to really like you, and I don't know what happened, what is going on, why don't we talk? kind of way, need to bitch it up for a bit man to break her shell, show some vunrability so she will let you in, can't be mr. tough guy alpha rock man 24/7 either that or just back off and give it more time, then re-contact after some time like nothing ever happened and if you take the primary route and she ignores, just give it time, don't keep repeatedly contacting her, let her think about what you said and come to you

Author:	Log!c [ Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: what I gathered from your post was you and her flirt on facebook a bit, she does something, you think you own her, you get super needy and butthurt and try to ''punish'' her cause you think she cares and you own her, this turns her off completely after you burn her and cut contact No. You didn't read thoroughly. She did something that I didn't like. This involved no other person. I did something she didn't like. She said something that I didn't like. I cut contact. It was really no big deal at all, but I let my pride do the thinking for me and in result I cut her off. Also, there was no neediness involved. All feelings were mutual, she cared, hence why the freeze out worked. Quote: later on you see her again, she is now butthurt and dis-likes you cause you were rude/mean to her for what she deems as no reason (as the two of you were not dating nor having sex) she holds a grudge and chats up your friend while ignoring you, maybe she just genuinely likes your friend, maybe she just hates you enough to do it just cause she thinks it pisses you off She knew what the reason was, as insignificant as it may have been. Your point may have been valid if my friend hadn't told me that she only chats him up when I'm with him. Grudge? Sure. It's out of spite. It's definately out of jealousy. She's still hurt from it, and the drastic change in her attitude came after she had seen me with other girls. The one thing that I'm hung up on is if she's doing it bbecause she wants me or wants me to feel what she felt. The fact is, I had the opportunity to make it a sure thing but wanted to keep my options open. It was summer, and I am a guy, after all. Quote: you try to message her, she wants no part of it, she makes excuses why not to talk to you, and dis-qualifies you telling you she has another guy in short she is still pissed about what ever you did and holds a grudge (that is my guess), it's not really a shit test or anything, she is just sensative and you hurt her feelings now she is not all that fond of you jealousy is usually used for two reasons 1)wants to see what happens and if you will make a move 2)wants to make you feel bad doesn't nessicarily means she cares at all, either testing the waters on how much you care, or just plain dis-likes you and wants to rub it in, or option 3 is she isn't even trying to make you jealous at all, just actually likes other guys and it has nothing to do with you This is what I want to know. Honestly, I can't distinguish what it is. Could be a mixture of all three, possibilities are endless and there's only one way to find the answer. The reason why I'm leaning towards her caring is because of how she attempted to make me jealous ONLY after I had made her jealous. This Friend with Benefits character appeared from the sky, only to have no name. I later found that she was only with her girl friends. I'm nearly positive that this no-name fuck buddy was only a jealousy tactic. Quote: I seriously doubt she wants you or anyone else to see her as a slut, more likely she wants you to know she is seeing other guys so you will take that as a hint to leave her alone You're right, not slutty, but definately valuable and desirable. Like she's having fun and seeing different guys on a regular basis. This girl is an attention whore. She seeks attention and validation from all males and thrives from it. Very openly chatting guys up on Facebook - public, for all to see. Quote: if you really want to pursue this girl, I suggest you just ask her what is up not in a FUCK YOU, confrontational way, but in a more genuine, hey I used to really like you, and I don't know what happened, what is going on, why don't we talk? kind of way, need to bitch it up for a bit man to break her shell, show some vunrability so she will let you in, can't be mr. tough guy alpha rock man 24/7 Funny you say this, I was thinking of the same way of going about it. This will show what her true intentions are. If we don't even make it far enough to such a conversation, or she doesn't comply, I'm going to suspect that she doesn't care. This is hard for me to believe from my personal experience, however, and she's been acting in this way for all of our interactions since. At which point, I drop this for good. To the contrary, if I do end up getting to such a conversation, there will inevitably be need for explanations on certain matters that've occured recently, including after I've posted this. I've learned from PU rules that you aren't ever supposed to explain yourself to a woman, so I'm not sure how to handle this either. Quote: either that or just back off and give it more time, then re-contact after some time like nothing ever happened and if you take the primary route and she ignores, just give it time, don't keep repeatedly contacting her, let her think about what you said and come to you If she denies me this conversation, I can rest assured and be happily done.

Author:	pumpington [ Mon Feb 13, 2012 7:42 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: what I gathered from your post was you and her flirt on facebook a bit, she does something, you think you own her, you get super needy and butthurt and try to ''punish'' her cause you think she cares and you own her, this turns her off completely after you burn her and cut contact No. You didn't read thoroughly. She did something that I didn't like. This involved no other person. I did something she didn't like. She said something that I didn't like. I cut contact. It was really no big deal at all, but I let my pride do the thinking for me and in result I cut her off. Also, there was no neediness involved. All feelings were mutual, she cared, hence why the freeze out worked. ok Quote: Quote: later on you see her again, she is now butthurt and dis-likes you cause you were rude/mean to her for what she deems as no reason (as the two of you were not dating nor having sex) she holds a grudge and chats up your friend while ignoring you, maybe she just genuinely likes your friend, maybe she just hates you enough to do it just cause she thinks it pisses you off She knew what the reason was, as insignificant as it may have been. Your point may have been valid if my friend hadn't told me that she only chats him up when I'm with him. Grudge? Sure. It's out of spite. It's definately out of jealousy. She's still hurt from it, and the drastic change in her attitude came after she had seen me with other girls. The one thing that I'm hung up on is if she's doing it bbecause she wants me or wants me to feel what she felt. The fact is, I had the opportunity to make it a sure thing but wanted to keep my options open. It was summer, and I am a guy, after all. fair enough Quote: Quote: you try to message her, she wants no part of it, she makes excuses why not to talk to you, and dis-qualifies you telling you she has another guy in short she is still pissed about what ever you did and holds a grudge (that is my guess), it's not really a shit test or anything, she is just sensative and you hurt her feelings now she is not all that fond of you jealousy is usually used for two reasons 1)wants to see what happens and if you will make a move 2)wants to make you feel bad doesn't nessicarily means she cares at all, either testing the waters on how much you care, or just plain dis-likes you and wants to rub it in, or option 3 is she isn't even trying to make you jealous at all, just actually likes other guys and it has nothing to do with you This is what I want to know. Honestly, I can't distinguish what it is. Could be a mixture of all three, possibilities are endless and there's only one way to find the answer. The reason why I'm leaning towards her caring is because of how she attempted to make me jealous ONLY after I had made her jealous. This Friend with Benefits character appeared from the sky, only to have no name. I later found that she was only with her girl friends. I'm nearly positive that this no-name fuck buddy was only a jealousy tactic. well, she might just be feeling a bit insecure Quote: Quote: I seriously doubt she wants you or anyone else to see her as a slut, more likely she wants you to know she is seeing other guys so you will take that as a hint to leave her alone You're right, not slutty, but definately valuable and desirable. Like she's having fun and seeing different guys on a regular basis. This girl is an attention whore. She seeks attention and validation from all males and thrives from it. Very openly chatting guys up on Facebook - public, for all to see. meh, pretty much like most young girls in their teens-20s Quote: Quote: if you really want to pursue this girl, I suggest you just ask her what is up not in a FUCK YOU, confrontational way, but in a more genuine, hey I used to really like you, and I don't know what happened, what is going on, why don't we talk? kind of way, need to bitch it up for a bit man to break her shell, show some vunrability so she will let you in, can't be mr. tough guy alpha rock man 24/7 Funny you say this, I was thinking of the same way of going about it. This will show what her true intentions are. If we don't even make it far enough to such a conversation, or she doesn't comply, I'm going to suspect that she doesn't care. This is hard for me to believe from my personal experience, however, and she's been acting in this way for all of our interactions since. At which point, I drop this for good. To the contrary, if I do end up getting to such a conversation, there will inevitably be need for explanations on certain matters that've occured recently, including after I've posted this. I've learned from PU rules that you aren't ever supposed to explain yourself to a woman, so I'm not sure how to handle this either. qualification is more about not qualifying to her standards, not trying to impress her with what your like, or what you own, but more just demonstrating it with how you are and avoiding telling her what you are like and explaining yourself to her when she corners you, alot of girls have this ideal model of what the perfect guy is in there head, and the more you qualify yourself to her and you don't line up with that model, the more that can work agaisnt you, how ever communicating with a girl is fine, trying to bitch up and explain how shes so great and your terrible and your sorry and blah blah blah, is bad, just stay confident within yourself but be genuine, stating your likes/dis-likes and preferences is qualifying her, not qualifying yourself, because if she lines up with what you want you can give her attention and show her you like that about her, and have something to talk about with her, while if she doesn't you can tease her, instead of explaining to her ''WHY'' you did what you did, just explain what you want and how you feel, and try to avoid explaining anything beyond that, stay in the present as much as possible and avoid the past unless it is positive, also just explaining yourself to girls can kill the whole emotional flow of the conversation and bring things to a neutral non emotional level ''hey I used to really like you, and I don't know what happened, what is going on, why don't we talk anymore?'' Quote: Quote: either that or just back off and give it more time, then re-contact after some time like nothing ever happened and if you take the primary route and she ignores, just give it time, don't keep repeatedly contacting her, let her think about what you said and come to you If she denies me this conversation, I can rest assured and be happily done.

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Author:	Log!c [ Fri Feb 17, 2012 4:27 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: qualification is more about not qualifying to her standards, not trying to impress her with what your like, or what you own, but more just demonstrating it with how you are and avoiding telling her what you are like and explaining yourself to her when she corners you, alot of girls have this ideal model of what the perfect guy is in there head, and the more you qualify yourself to her and you don't line up with that model, the more that can work agaisnt you, how ever communicating with a girl is fine, trying to bitch up and explain how shes so great and your terrible and your sorry and blah blah blah, is bad, just stay confident within yourself but be genuine, stating your likes/dis-likes and preferences is qualifying her, not qualifying yourself, because if she lines up with what you want you can give her attention and show her you like that about her, and have something to talk about with her, while if she doesn't you can tease her, instead of explaining to her ''WHY'' you did what you did, just explain what you want and how you feel, and try to avoid explaining anything beyond that, stay in the present as much as possible and avoid the past unless it is positive, also just explaining yourself to girls can kill the whole emotional flow of the conversation and bring things to a neutral non emotional level ''hey I used to really like you, and I don't know what happened, what is going on, why don't we talk anymore?'' I get what you're saying completely, that's great. But when I see her, she acts bitter. A conversation initiated with this bitter tension is going to be bitter. She knows that I know what I did. After speculation, I conclude that she wants me to chase her, but pushes me away. There's like a shield between us, where she refuses to even make eye contact or acknowledge my existance. I accidentally ignored her (I didn't see her, I realized that she thought I did), and when I spoke to her after she completely ignored me what I said. All these games are foolish, but that's the expense of experience. I can't pretend like I don't know what I did, because I haven't forgotten a single "mistake". I'm guessing it's going to be tough to shift her feelings about me from bitter to positive. I'm not even sure if she'll be talking back to me. But I will go about it as you advised, and post here again soon.

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