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| Author: | LEF2226 [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | What went wrong here? |
Here’s my situation. It took place over 11 days. I want to learn from the situation so I don’t make the same mistakes again. Day 1: made out with this girl for like 2 hours (she wouldn’t let me escalate below clothes or play with her pussy) Day 2: she texted me in the morning (good flirty/fluff text) Day 3: texted her, “hey I’m watching blank movie, you should join me.” She said maybe depends on the time. Then ended up flaking, but there was a tornado warning (so I really can’t blame her for flaking). Day 4: hung out at a coffee shop for a few hours (really good vibe – there was flirting, strong eye contact, and physical touching). Day 7: flirty/fluff text (she seemed fine) Day 8: flirty/fluff text (starting seem aloof and cold in her texts) Day 9: texted her “hey I’m watching blank movie, you should join me,” again. She said she already had plans. (she seemed really aloof and cold in her texts). Day 10: basically ignored her in class (not going to reward her for being cold and aloof in text) Day 11: texted her an inside joke. Her response: “haha” (which isn’t a normal response). I just gave up after that. I think at this point I'm going to abandon ship. However, I want to know where I f**ked up for future purposes. Did I f**k up not telling her my intentions after we made out (e.g., does she think all I want is to f**k her or something)? I was also thinking she might be afraid of what she would do if we met up again or started dating. She’s super religious and I’m kind of a bad boy (don’t believe in god, experienced in sex, drugs and rock n’ roll). Any input appreciated. |
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| Author: | Hank Moody [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
not really enough information to really speculate but sounds like you were too into her, not exactly needy but defiantly giving her all the power. did u start all the texts. u need to be unavailable more. your a busy guy who is going out of his way to make time for a girl. your not the chaser your the chasee. if you do text her to hang out in her mind it needs to be YOUR MAKING TIME FOR HER OUT OF YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE. u get me dont be cold with her, just be cool. dont text her just see how it goes for a week or so. |
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| Author: | Slip n Slide [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:04 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah too much attention. You were basically saying "Lets be boyfriend and girlfriend" and she wasn't down for that yet. |
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| Author: | papichulo818 [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Tough to say, she could have been seeing another guy who sparked her interest more and rather than be direct she just started acting aloof, hoping you'd just go away. There's nothing you necessarily did wrong other than perhaps escalated more earlier, but as somebody already said there's not enough info to build a complete context to the situation. Perhaps she wanted you to be a bit more aggressive and your slow stance began to annoy her to the point where she thought "fuck it" and moved on. I'd probably leave things alone now and let her contact you. If she does then you've gotta control the frame playboy. In the mean time pursue other interests. Sometimes there's simply nothing you can do, for whatever reason she's not feeling it (maybe you aren't the kinda man she's into and she realizes this after meeting with you a few times). |
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| Author: | EddieFews [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Don't make out for 2 hours under any circumstances... If you don't get her clothes off within 5-10 mins of making out, pull back.. She'll be wanting more. It gets boring after a while and the attraction lessens. Other than that, your movie invites seemed rehearsed and boring, they sounded like you didn't even believe she was going to come yourself...This is where calling a girl makes a huge impact on how things go.. If you call her, talk for 15-20 mins and she isn't doing anything, once you invite her over for the movie there is no way she can say no.. Summary Never makeout for 2 hours, This isn't grade school Rely on phone calls for asking a girl out only. Don't tell a girl what she "should" do, tell her whats going to happen |
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| Author: | Hakuna [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Day 1: Don't make out with her for 2 hours while she's constantly stoping you from escalating. And if you are, within those two hours, walk away a few times and approach other girls. Any signs of desperation must be squashed quickly Day 2: Probably when you had the most amount of attraction. If she texted you in the morning, you should've replied in the afternoon. Make sure you neg and display dominance / high value properly. Even ignore her texts at times Day 3: Should NOT have asked her to hang out already. Wait at least 2 or 3 days from Day 2. Within that lapse of time, DON'T be the one to initiate contact. After that first spur of interest (which you seemed to have successfully created) you need to withdraw the attention. Game is all about pushing 2 steps forward, then pulling 1 step back. Day 4: Already fucked up. Despite being able to go on a date, she retains an implicit sense of control. She decided when to go on the date, you simply obeyed. Day 9 bigger fuck up. Shouldn't have asked her to hang out twice in the same exact way. At this point I normally cut my losses but start negging hard to try and build attraction, if it's possible at all. Then mention that you're WATCHING the movie, don't ask her to join you. If there's enough attraction she will reply with "I wanna see that movie toooo." While the norm is to have the guy doing the chasing, you have to understand that a girl who wants to fuck you WILL find a way to fuck you. If I'm at a point where i need to cut my losses, I stop asking a girl out overtly but maintain contact with her to at least allow the possibility to escalate in the future. |
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| Author: | papichulo818 [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 6:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
^^couldn't have put it any better. Hakuna is the only guy on this board that gets some semblance of respect from me, despite having a schizophrenic looking BLOG, he knows his sh&t. |
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| Author: | LEF2226 [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 6:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks guys. I really appreciate the advice. I understand where I fucked up. One question though - should you always play "hard to get" with a girl like Hakuna implied, "Game is all about pushing 2 steps forward, then pulling 1 step back." Can this ever back fire (i.e. make you look like you don't know what you want or something like that)? |
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| Author: | papichulo818 [ Sun Feb 05, 2012 6:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Thanks guys. I really appreciate the advice. I understand where I fucked up.
No.One question though - should you always play "hard to get" with a girl like Hakuna implied, "Game is all about pushing 2 steps forward, then pulling 1 step back." Can this ever back fire (i.e. make you look like you don't know what you want or something like that)? The inverse would put her under the impression that you're not interested. That's why it's phrased as "2 steps FORWARD, 1 BACK" and not "2 steps back, 1 forward". Remember, if you give the cat the shiny object, it'll lose interest quickly. If, on the other hand, you give it a glimpse of it and pull it away again, it'll want it even more. Just like the cat, with the woman you are giving her something - positive attention, and then extricating yourself for a brief bit to escalate attraction. This form of 'teasing' draws her in as she wants more of the positive experiences she has with you. By giving it all up to her allowing her to have that at a whim, she'll quickly lose interest and the mystery, the intrigue, the thrill of it all will vanish. Get it? Got it? Good. |
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