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Approaching in a club scene
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=127280		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  twitch223 [ Sun Jan 29, 2012 4:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Approaching in a club scene
Okay so where I live, we have a kind terrible setup, we have one bar with a dance floor and seating area and a restraunt, which is open till 12, a "nightclub"/late night bar open till 2ish with a dance floor and an outside area, another bar with a dance floor and a couch area open till 3 or 4 then one night club open till like 5 or 6 am

So I understand how approaching works with the whole walking up and talking to girls, but I seem to have a hard time comprehending and convincing myself that it will work, or that it will work for me, as I'm not really sure, since I've never really seen anyone go up to a girl and start talking to her, or I have but not exactly realised, and I am kind of to shy to do it.

Basically what I'm asking is how do you walk up to a girl, who is either sitting down or at the bar, get her attention and talk to her??
And do the same on the dance floor, whether you start grinding on her, or what?
I've done casual hip bumps to girls on the dance floor and it has about a 50% success rate of both getting their attention and them then dancing with me (some just think it was accidental or what ever..)

I'm still reading through everything in the books and forums, but any tips to help with this would be amazing.

I've been considering the newbie mission of approaching lots of women at shopping centres and having conversations with them, but I reason with myself not to do it as I wouldn't know what to say, I dream that I'd be like "Hi... what's up?" or something like that, and then they would be like "idiot.." and walk off, which holds me back :\

So uhh, yeah any tips etc if you're able to comprehend this post, would be awesome :)
Author:  Mr Freeze [ Sun Jan 29, 2012 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Reply
First question, and I don't mean this as an insult. How old are you?

Guys approach and chat to girls all the time, as you said maybe you don't realize it. If they're doing it properly it just looks like they're friends and already know each other. Which might be what's thrown you off.

On the not being convinced it will work for you bit. This mindset can only act as an obstacle for you. I've some news for you. Girls are individuals. They're all different having different nights, feeling different and have differing relationship statuses. You won't win them all. But you have to try them all to find the ones who you will win over. A great line I heard in a PU dvd was 'view this as a game, you won't win every time, but relax you have unlimited lives'. And it's so true.

It's like playing Supermario 3, when you're playing that desert stage and that bastard of a sun keeps fucking you over. But you keep plugging on till you get through that level. Then the next normal level that doesn't have a psychotic sun trying to get you the whole time seems like a walk in the park. The point is after enough practice you'll hardly think about whether talking to a girl will work or not.
Author:  wingintyme [ Sun Jan 29, 2012 11:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
you said something that is the root of your problem "they may be like idiot and walk away". who cares if they walk away? I think it's funny when it happens to me. about 80% of the women who do it aren't doing it b/c of your looks, or approach , or style. Some of them are nervous and shy themselves. Or, just anti-social by nature.

I would not advise you to think of approaching in a bar like, you have to walk from several steps away and do some PUA thing and that's what I think you are thinking you have to do. What I usually do is strategically manuever in to their direction and if the circumstances call for it, I will get about 5 feet away and face a different direction for a few moments and see if they notice me and how they react before I say anything. Some times they will see you and walk off. In a club, I tend to like situational openers best, that I could use on dudes or hot girls. Some times I do open dudes. Since there are only 3 places in your city, you might say "hey did you go to place x tonight" It's pretty harmless and you have a couple directions you can take their response. One thing I do often is, after an initial interaction, I will walk away. sometimes it's within 5 seconds, but usually within a couple minutes. Girls like guys who take the initiative to walk off. You can usually talk to them again later.
Author:  twitch223 [ Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Reply
Quote:
First question, and I don't mean this as an insult. How old are you?

Guys approach and chat to girls all the time, as you said maybe you don't realize it. If they're doing it properly it just looks like they're friends and already know each other. Which might be what's thrown you off.

On the not being convinced it will work for you bit. This mindset can only act as an obstacle for you. I've some news for you. Girls are individuals. They're all different having different nights, feeling different and have differing relationship statuses. You won't win them all. But you have to try them all to find the ones who you will win over. A great line I heard in a PU dvd was 'view this as a game, you won't win every time, but relax you have unlimited lives'. And it's so true.

It's like playing Supermario 3, when you're playing that desert stage and that bastard of a sun keeps fucking you over. But you keep plugging on till you get through that level. Then the next normal level that doesn't have a psychotic sun trying to get you the whole time seems like a walk in the park. The point is after enough practice you'll hardly think about whether talking to a girl will work or not.
All good, I'm 18.
Yeah I think it's that initial stage, like I'm at the start of that level and haven't quite figured out how to beat the psychotic sun..
Yeah just need to start doing it more often. I believe after I get maybe 10 approaches down and I can walk away from them or something like that I will be fine..
Quote:
you said something that is the root of your problem "they may be like idiot and walk away". who cares if they walk away? I think it's funny when it happens to me. about 80% of the women who do it aren't doing it b/c of your looks, or approach , or style. Some of them are nervous and shy themselves. Or, just anti-social by nature.

I would not advise you to think of approaching in a bar like, you have to walk from several steps away and do some PUA thing and that's what I think you are thinking you have to do. What I usually do is strategically manuever in to their direction and if the circumstances call for it, I will get about 5 feet away and face a different direction for a few moments and see if they notice me and how they react before I say anything. Some times they will see you and walk off. In a club, I tend to like situational openers best, that I could use on dudes or hot girls. Some times I do open dudes. Since there are only 3 places in your city, you might say "hey did you go to place x tonight" It's pretty harmless and you have a couple directions you can take their response. One thing I do often is, after an initial interaction, I will walk away. sometimes it's within 5 seconds, but usually within a couple minutes. Girls like guys who take the initiative to walk off. You can usually talk to them again later.
Ah yeah fair enough.
Hmm yeah that's quite possibly what I'm doing, like I feel like I could approach, but then I'd stand there and be like "...Hi..." as I said, so yeah that's quite helpful.
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