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| changing your personality? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=127068 |
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| Author: | Yakooza9 [ Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | changing your personality? |
My biggest problem with learning PU is my inability to naturally carry a conversation, tell stories, and be witty. I study some of my friends who are witty and can lead a conversation with anyone. I know I have an introvert personality. Is it possible to change your personality to become an extrovert? I'm sure a lot of guys who study PU are introverts like me but how do morph into that witty charming guy? |
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| Author: | papichulo818 [ Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:57 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: changing your personality? |
Quote: My biggest problem with learning PU is my inability to naturally carry a conversation, tell stories, and be witty. I study some of my friends who are witty and can lead a conversation with anyone. I know I have an introvert personality. Is it possible to change your personality to become an extrovert? I'm sure a lot of guys who study PU are introverts like me but how do morph into that witty charming guy?
Go out and experience things, share your stories with others. Surely you've been through some things which may be of interest to people. To answer your question, no you cannot change from introvert to extrovert, but you can certainly still be interesting.
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| Author: | Agent Juliet [ Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Here's the trick: The best thing in your case is to have some canned material: funny or intriguing stories about your life which you've rehearsed a couple of times, and perfected. You need maybe 3 or 4 of those. Then you need a flip or cute answer to common questions and objections: - What's your name? - What do you do? - How old are you? - I have a boyfriend... - The girl is rude to you or ignore's you - She asks you to buy her a drink - i don't *do whatever* on the first date - the girl mock hits you in the arm - you're a player aren't you? Then you might want a couple of negs/cocky/funny statements. Finally, you might want to learn a couple of canned routines/games for when the conversation stalls. Put all this in a cheat card and learn it by heart. Don't feel you have to stick to a preset routine though: actually listen to the girl, and when she gives you a topic of convo you can hook onto, use it... Some people say that canned routines are bad and that they stiffle your game... however, that's not true: even complete naturals constantly re-use the same lines and stories which they have tried and tested. The trick is not to stick to a rigid structure ; to have enough material to have an entertaining conversation with a girl, but to be able to improvise when needed. After practicing this 'loose' routine with a couple of girls, it will become natural to you (it might feel akward at first). You will start gaining in confidence, and as you do, you will become a more engaging conversationalist. You know... I bet you most of the stuff your witty friends say is not improvised on the spur of the moment, but that it's something they've heard somewhere else and have used before. |
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| Author: | Yakooza9 [ Fri Jan 27, 2012 9:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
thanks for this advice..I'll work on creating a routine. |
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| Author: | Phoenix_ [ Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
You don't have to be an extrovert to get good at pick- up, but you have to be willing to talk to people/strangers and express your amazing personality. Changing your personality probably won't ever completely happen, but it is possible to be come more extroverted by increasing the amount of your social interactions and becoming more comfortable with conversing with all different types of people. |
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| Author: | Darth Skater [ Sat Jan 28, 2012 12:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I agree that improvising is just really using canned material fluently. This is true in everything that requiers improvisation. Take music for example, the jazz musicians aren't making that stuff up on the spot. The brain doesn't work that way, it's all programmed in there with thousands of hours of practice. All the people who are great at talking just have way more practice than you. |
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| Author: | Ezo [ Sat Jan 28, 2012 1:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
One of the secrets is to not be ashamed of your personality. It is who you are, you can certainly improve aspects of it but dont forget your core values and what you think is right and wrong. Chances are, you are a great person. I think people are introvert or extrovert and there is nothing much to do about it. You can learn to be more extrovert but it will be playing a role. If you arent truly introvert but merely extrovert with a fear or inhibition that makes you introvert (seemingly), you can work on it. In that case, confidence is what you need. |
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| Author: | papichulo818 [ Sat Jan 28, 2012 2:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: One of the secrets is to not be ashamed of your personality. It is who you are, you can certainly improve aspects of it but dont forget your core values and what you think is right and wrong. Chances are, you are a great person.
There are theories, however, which suggest that one's level of introversion/extroversion are state, or context dependent. In other words, you may be extroverted around a particular group of people simply because you feel intimidated by them, whereas with others you may be more sociable or 'interactive' because you feel more comfortable among them. Regardless, I believe one's level of introversion and extroversion are trait specific and become static after a certain age. Regardless of your type, one of the features hallmark of introverts is not being shut-ins or less sociable, but rather that the relationships they do have with people tend to be a lot deeper. Extroverts, on the other hand are more prone to interacting with a wider spectrum of people, but their interactions tend to be more shallow/surface as compared to introverts. One is no better than the other, only different; apples and oranges as they say.
I think people are introvert or extrovert and there is nothing much to do about it. You can learn to be more extrovert but it will be playing a role. If you arent truly introvert but merely extrovert with a fear or inhibition that makes you introvert (seemingly), you can work on it. In that case, confidence is what you need. |
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