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Why would a girl keep reinforcing 'we are friends'
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Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Why would a girl keep reinforcing 'we are friends'
She has said it to me a couple of times. I don't make any sexual advances though so it confuses me to why she would.



Anyway, how do I break down this barrier?
Author:  Chinopants [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 5:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
I had a girl pull this crap. I looked her in the eye and said "I already have enough friends. Hell I don't even like the ones I have now why would I want another. I want to fuck you." Then later I told her how I fuck my friends and its just the way it is. And I do and most are cool with it because I am cool with it and people just think that its ok because that's what Sean does. After awhile she admitted that her cousin told her to say that and it was just a shit test.
Author:  pumpington [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 6:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
because chances are she doesn't find you attractive, and it might be due to you never making sexual advances, and it might be due to a ton of other factors

it is not necessarily a barrier, it is like when a hb3 starts talking to you, lets say she is the only girl in your life you have ever met that is actually funny and really fun to be around, but you find her really ugly and want nothing to do with sleeping with her, so you want to hang out with her, but keep stressing, hey you're not my type we are just friends

girls use alot of things the indicate they are not in to you

-dropping the hint that you are just friends all the time

-randomly talking about other guys (careful with this one though, sometimes girls will use this to get a reaction from you when they know your into them to make you jealous cause they want you to move faster)

-flaking

-getting weirded out when you touch them/sexually advance


best thing you can do in a situation like this in my opinion, is express intent, and stay 100% congruent with it, hold your frame and don't change it to supplicate to what she wants, but really, if a girl is not into you, she is not into you, and rather then wasting your time on her just cause you think she is hot, you should meet and talk to new girls that actually are into you, and if you can't find any at all, either dramatically increase the number of girls you talk to, or dramatically work on yourself until you see change

(or both)

now with that in mind, just know that usually within 30 seconds a girl is going to probably know if she would potentially sleep with you or not, the rest will be up to how well you escalate towards it, and not turning her off, she will be looking at

(how you look, how you hold yourself, how confidently you speak and talk/body language in general, tonality)

based on those things alone she will just do a quick little judgement in her head just like you would and say, mehhhhhhhhhhh yeah i'd fuck him, ill give him a chance, if he is cool and is not a little wuss, ill sleep with him, or mehhhhhhhhhhhhh nah too ugly, guess he can be my friend, or mehhhhhhhhhhh hes good enough, but im not sure

game just helps you shift the maybes into yes's, but a no will usually stay a no, and a yes will usually stay a yes
Author:  EddieFews [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 6:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
She could just be testing you, treat her like a friend and watch her come on to you
Author:  Ezo [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 7:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
It may be that she wants to make sure that you wont expect a relationship if you two ever get in bed together.

Or that she just wanna be friends.

Or that she feels that you are too interested.

Or that she wanna see if you disagree before she makes her move.

Or that she wanna make sure you are really friends before she takes the next step.
Author:  papichulo818 [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why would a girl keep reinforcing 'we are friends'
Quote:
She has said it to me a couple of times. I don't make any sexual advances though so it confuses me to why she would.



Anyway, how do I break down this barrier?
Honestly, it means she's not interested in you. It's not for any other reason. Don't read into as anything more than that. Some of the guys in this forum are suggesting it's maybe because she likes you and is testing you but that's Creepo mentality. Go find some other girls.
Author:  papichulo818 [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 7:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
It may be that she wants to make sure that you wont expect a relationship if you two ever get in bed together.

Or that she just wanna be friends.

Or that she feels that you are too interested.

Or that she wanna see if you disagree before she makes her move.

Or that she wanna make sure you are really friends before she takes the next step.
Nothing personal but it's pretty creepy you'd think this way. It's to no wonder why girls are creeped out by guys' persistence when they come at them with such a misguided rationale.
Author:  Ezo [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 10:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
It may be that she wants to make sure that you wont expect a relationship if you two ever get in bed together.

Or that she just wanna be friends.

Or that she feels that you are too interested.

Or that she wanna see if you disagree before she makes her move.

Or that she wanna make sure you are really friends before she takes the next step.
Nothing personal but it's pretty creepy you'd think this way. It's to no wonder why girls are creeped out by guys' persistence when they come at them with such a misguided rationale.
I dont get how you could possibly misunderstand this. Creepy is the last thing I am. I am an ultra realist. Girls play it safe. Sometimes they tell you that they just wanna be friends just in order to test you. They say stuff like that just to see what your reaction will be so they can decide how to behave.

Misguided rationale you say? I am speaking from experience. No matter how unsettling a fact may be, it is still a fact. I think you have an idealised way of seeing the world. When you start understanding women and start having a bit of experience, you will understand what I mean. Until then, good luck sarging.
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think I am getting better and better at this shit...she might be playing it safe. She is apparently a no strings attached kind of girl (so she says) and wants to make sure my ass doesn't become weird if we fuck. I guess I have to assert some more sexual tension. Worst comes to worst: I will end up in the friend zone permanently...but at least I'll know.
Author:  EddieFews [ Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
It may be that she wants to make sure that you wont expect a relationship if you two ever get in bed together.

Or that she just wanna be friends.

Or that she feels that you are too interested.

Or that she wanna see if you disagree before she makes her move.

Or that she wanna make sure you are really friends before she takes the next step.
Nothing personal but it's pretty creepy you'd think this way. It's to no wonder why girls are creeped out by guys' persistence when they come at them with such a misguided rationale.
I dont get how you could possibly misunderstand this. Creepy is the last thing I am. I am an ultra realist. Girls play it safe. Sometimes they tell you that they just wanna be friends just in order to test you. They say stuff like that just to see what your reaction will be so they can decide how to behave.

Misguided rationale you say? I am speaking from experience. No matter how unsettling a fact may be, it is still a fact. I think you have an idealised way of seeing the world. When you start understanding women and start having a bit of experience, you will understand what I mean. Until then, good luck sarging.
You got the point across to him way better than I ever could, nice post
Author:  meetjoeblack [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why would a girl keep reinforcing 'we are friends'
Quote:
She has said it to me a couple of times. I don't make any sexual advances though so it confuses me to why she would.



Anyway, how do I break down this barrier?
So you don't get butt hurt later on. When she says that, impose she introduces you to her cute friends.
Author:  KimPa [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:04 am ]
Post subject: 
I had a girl kept reinforcing that we are brother and sister on more than one occasion.. I acted cool with it and started calling her sis, and I can tell she was getting annoyed from that. Eventually, she basically asked me if I did like her. I said what difference does it make, SIS? and she just confessed she did that on purpose as a shit test. I ended up hooking with her.
Author:  meetjoeblack [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I had a girl kept reinforcing that we are brother and sister on more than one occasion.. I acted cool with it and started calling her sis, and I can tell she was getting annoyed from that. Eventually, she basically asked me if I did like her. I said what difference does it make, SIS? and she just confessed she did that on purpose as a shit test. I ended up hooking with her.
Yeah, girls are weird man. I had one say I was like her brother, then, sort of like the video of gambler, she kept her face so close to mine, right near me, and well, we made out, and hooked up. It is such a weird thing to say but, they always say they have a bf, and yet, they came to a bar? No proper gf does that. Good old shit tests eh?
Author:  Herne [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:16 am ]
Post subject: 
its similar to ''I dont know you, I dont know you'' or ''i dont know you that well or long''---its generally just more of their shit tests they have this idea that it will make u want to know them---just do it back at them and watch how things change---seen a comment on forum here earlier cant remember who it was--he suggested just throw there stufff back at them--was good advice---so for every time she friends you--throw two ''were great friends back''
Author:  papichulo818 [ Thu Jan 26, 2012 12:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
It may be that she wants to make sure that you wont expect a relationship if you two ever get in bed together.

Or that she just wanna be friends.

Or that she feels that you are too interested.

Or that she wanna see if you disagree before she makes her move.

Or that she wanna make sure you are really friends before she takes the next step.
Nothing personal but it's pretty creepy you'd think this way. It's to no wonder why girls are creeped out by guys' persistence when they come at them with such a misguided rationale.
You mean understanding them from the frame that "no" means "yes"? Hmm...ok.

I dont get how you could possibly misunderstand this. Creepy is the last thing I am. I am an ultra realist. Girls play it safe. Sometimes they tell you that they just wanna be friends just in order to test you. They say stuff like that just to see what your reaction will be so they can decide how to behave.

Misguided rationale you say? I am speaking from experience. No matter how unsettling a fact may be, it is still a fact. I think you have an idealised way of seeing the world. When you start understanding women and start having a bit of experience, you will understand what I mean. Until then, good luck sarging.
Keep persisting with your antiquated decades old out-moded used car salesman mentality towards women. Incidentally, it's "idealized" not "idealised", and what's more ironic is that you're accusing me of maintaining an idealized view towards women, when in fact you believe that a woman's stating that she's only interested in you as a friend and nothing more - not once, but on multiple occasions as somehow meaning something entirely different is a complete idealization, not reality. You can tout that you've been more successful than I have with women, but the truth is you've got no way of verifying it, just as I have no way of verifying your successes (as well as your failures), so to suggest that somehow I understand them less simply based on the presumption that in your mind I hold less of an understanding of them is so illogical that it's downright laughable.


ps. Thanks for the good luck, fortunately I'm attractive enough where I don't have to desperately rely on half-baked techniques to manipulating somebody to go out with me. I'm curious to know what that must be like, but living through your deluded state is as close as I'd want to get to knowing the experience first hand.
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