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How to recover from coming on to strong
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Author:  johned22 [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:21 pm ]
Post subject:  How to recover from coming on to strong
I met this girl in a club and we arranged to meet up for drinks latter that week. We went for drinks and was perfect we both were relaxed and had fun then I invited her to my place. Well I made the mistake of making out with her even though she says she doesnt make out on the first date which caused her to leave in a hurry. Then she told me she was going to this one club on Friday and as it happens my mates birthday was there so I told her I would prob see her there. Anyway I thought it was all good till we met up this this morning for a hike and she told me she is not ready for anything fast and likes to take things slow with the place she is in her life as she is busy with school and she felt that I was watching her in the club when she was there which I did not think I was doing and she did not like how I started to make out with her even after she said she does not kiss on a first date.
So after all this my question is how should I play it she is busy i know with school but should I invite her out again if so when etc
Author:  om3n [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to recover from coming on to strong
Quote:
I met this girl in a club and we arranged to meet up for drinks latter that week. We went for drinks and was perfect we both were relaxed and had fun then I invited her to my place. Well I made the mistake of making out with her even though she says she doesnt make out on the first date which caused her to leave in a hurry. Then she told me she was going to this one club on Friday and as it happens my mates birthday was there so I told her I would prob see her there. Anyway I thought it was all good till we met up this this morning for a hike and she told me she is not ready for anything fast and likes to take things slow with the place she is in her life as she is busy with school and she felt that I was watching her in the club when she was there which I did not think I was doing and she did not like how I started to make out with her even after she said she does not kiss on a first date.
So after all this my question is how should I play it she is busy i know with school but should I invite her out again if so when etc

Women say crap like "I don't do xxx until xxx" all the time. They don't mean it. They want you to be THE MAN. Well, unless her religious or other beliefs prevent her from doing that. But there are not many of these girls.

Making out with her although she said she doesn't do that is not necessarily a bad thing. She maybe shit tested you, she maybe wanted to see what are you made of.

She left in a hurry yet she invited you to the party. She is probably attracted, so there¨s no problem.

Judging from what she told you later, you should really consider slowing down a little. I would probably tell her that I am okay with slowing down but sometimes I cannot help myself, since she attracts me so much. And at the end of the day, I'm just a human being, not indifferent to her looks and charm, right?

Invite her. Have fun. Escalate (slowly, but keep going).
Author:  Kieran Black [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Tell her you really like her so you are willing to wait as long as it takes and take things so until she feels okay with it.

Then do the complete opposite.
Author:  johned22 [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the replys guys but how long to wait to text her again from this as she acted VERY less intrested when we met today so I am not sure how to play it, up until now I have only been texting her when we have planned to meet up and no general random texts
cheers
Author:  Kieran Black [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks for the replys guys but how long to wait to text her again from this as she acted VERY less intrested when we met today so I am not sure how to play it, up until now I have only been texting her when we have planned to meet up and no general random texts
cheers
Stop texting her like a 14 year old school girl and call her like a man dude. Time to take control and start leading, otherwise this girl is going to run circles around you.
Author:  johned22 [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
hahahah the thing is I have a strong british accent that most americans cant understand so I usually text, in person they understand but talking on the phone its like they understnad every 4th word hahah
Author:  Kieran Black [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
hahahah the thing is I have a strong british accent that most americans cant understand so I usually text, in person they understand but talking on the phone its like they understnad every 4th word hahah
"Strong British accent" in America? I would consider that to be more of an assett than a liability dude, you should be milking that cow for everything it's worth.

Just have fun with it if she doesn't understand something then laugh it off, use it as a disqaulifier 'this is never going to work if you can't even understand me, we're going to have to work on tha'
Author:  johned22 [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
oh I do but on the phone I its different when every other word they reply with "huh" or "say again" but in person off course I make the most of it, just sucks right now this girl ticked every box off course maybe in a month I might thing shes a pain in the arse but suc ks to think i fucked up so early by coming on strong so dont know when to contact her she has a test on thurs so thought i should send her a good luck text for her test that could possibly help break the ice
Author:  Kieran Black [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
oh I do but on the phone I its different when every other word they reply with "huh" or "say again" but in person off course I make the most of it, just sucks right now this girl ticked every box off course maybe in a month I might thing shes a pain in the arse but suc ks to think i fucked up so early by coming on strong so dont know when to contact her she has a test on thurs so thought i should send her a good luck text for her test that could possibly help break the ice
I read the title of this post as 'you came on too strong' I thought you meant that you were obsessive and needy etc. That is bad, what you did isn't.

There is nothing wrong with showing a girl that you are into her, so what if she had this first date rule, fuck her rules. They were made to be broken by the right guy. Girls want guys to want to fuck them, they might act all hurt and pissed when they do but it's better than the alternative.

From what you described it sounds like she is really into you but has trouble controlling herself, keeping to her rules etc. around you. Why would this be a bad thing? This is perfect, this is how a male-female seduction should occur, it sounds to me like all you need to do is be persistent.

She is confused as fuck right now which is actually great, it means that she is open to suggestion and more likely to follow your lead but since she is confused you need to be 100% certain in order for her to trust in your lead.

This is not an issue of 'coming on too strong' this is actually an issue of establishing 'compliance'.

Also make sure you show more of an interest in her personality (the real her) as well when you see her, this should help her mentally counter-act thinking that you are only after one thing.
Author:  johned22 [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sounds perfect kieren

So what should be my next move into getting her?, I dont just want a booty call I actully really like her and she is very busy with school I knew that from the start so just give me an idea when I should contact her like today, tomorrow,Thursday when she has her test and what should I say to maintain her interest ?
thanks for the help
Cheers
John
Author:  johned22 [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
also me going to the same club as her as I knew she was going and my mates decided to go there so I warned her before hand that I might bump onto her I think turned her off because today she saiod she felt like I was watching her from across the bar which I did not think I was doing and explained I did not even see her but that did not help my case
cheers
Author:  Kieran Black [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well when I am being persistent with a girl, I often wait about 2-3 days in between each call (or in your case text) so that way I am encouraging her to contact me as well.

It's a shame that you have trouble communicating over the phone because if you could have a few intimate meaningful conversations with her then it would really help you get from A - B a lot quicker.

Maybe SPAM or msn messenger, where you can type and see her face as well? (trying to think outside the box here)

It's important that you maintain a consistent sexual attraction (I wouldn't amp it up any higher because that would be a bit much).

On your next meet suggest somewhere 'safe' and non-sexual like a park or a cafe and then once you have a good interaction going, try and take it somewhere more intimate but still safe, like her place or a bar.
Author:  johned22 [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the feedback Kieren, I think I make thinks to complicated and worry to much sometimes haha
cheers
Author:  Kieran Black [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 12:36 am ]
Post subject: 
No poblem, I would read this article as well, it is very relevant to your situation and very helpful.

"How to make beautiful women fall for you" http://wayoftheplayer.com/?p=136
Author:  johned22 [ Mon Jan 23, 2012 11:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
now I spoke to a girl who said to let her contact me first, she said if I decide to text her it will just keep pushing her away and if she doesn't text she was never that intrested anyway, do any of you guys agree with this??
Cheers
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