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What is the term to describe this....
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Author:  FF_Rewind [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 2:58 pm ]
Post subject:  What is the term to describe this....
Just after a technical definition of the following question from a girl. I had written her a poem (not about her, about something else) - not to suck up to her but more to show that I can do it - and actually I quite enjoy writing so I did it for me also. At the end of my poem message I joked about her having to write me one now and to give myself a future opener...

Anyway, I hadn't been in contact for a week or so then did some Facebook chat:

Rewind: So where's my poem then? :)
Girl: Hey, what poem?
Rewind: Well I wrote you one so just thought you might write me one back.
Girl: Do you only give to get?
Rewind: Well it was a nice poem and actually I enjoyed writing it and thought you might get enjoyment out of writing me one :)
Girl: It was a very good poem, I don't write much these days, blah, blah.

... conversation continues about writing....

Girl: Okay, see you soon XX

So all ended well but I am interested in how people would describe her question 'Do you only give to get?' - Shit Test? Not sure.
Author:  Arcemu [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wouldn't call that a shit test per-say, that was more of a straight up accusation.
BUT all in all it wasn't called for and if she actually felt that way over a joke, all I have to say is good luck pursuing that my friend.
Assuming she was serious of course.
Author:  Stylite [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
The problem with the internet is it's very hard to convey sarcasm. Maybe she was being sarcastic with her response too and you took it seriously.

Don't over think things. Try and avoid sarcastic remarks when talking to a girl through facebook or texting. Or at least use a "winky face" after the message.

- Stylite
Author:  Arcemu [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
The problem with the internet is it's very hard to convey sarcasm. Maybe she was being sarcastic with her response too and you took it seriously.

Don't over think things. Try and avoid sarcastic remarks when talking to a girl through facebook or texting. Or at least use a "winky face" after the message.

- Stylite
Exactly correct, you can't read emotion over the internet. Unless one wants you to read theirs and does something to purposely express it in an obvious way. Namely; A smiley face or added stress on the word.
Which is why I said "Assuming she is serious" Op.
Author:  FF_Rewind [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks chaps, actually I don't think she was all that serious - if she was like that all the time then I wouldn't bother with her - but she is bit of a moody one sometimes. And is probably feeling a bit crap because I can write better poetry than her :)

I was more interested in if there was a 'technical' or PUA term for this type of thing.

So not a shit test then, just an accusation. Probably still best not to take questions like that at face value though??
Author:  Stylite [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Okay so not a shit test then, just an accusation. Probably still best not to take questions like that at face value though?
I think you actually could, and maybe even should, say something like that face to face. Just say it playfully to tease her. Make sure you're quick on your feet when she gives her response so you can come back with something witty and clever.

- Stylite
Author:  DJ_Z [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 4:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Regardless of the term, I think you responded poory by explaining how you like writing and such. You coulda had more fun with it than by trying to give an excuse so she doesn't get mad.
Author:  EddieFews [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
how deep are you in with this girl ?

Have you fucked her? made out or even met?
Author:  FF_Rewind [ Fri Jan 20, 2012 5:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have fucked her plenty of times, we meet up about once a month :) - I wouldn't spend my time on her if I hadn't met her. She is a bit moody sometimes though.

Yes, I agree that if it was face-to-face conversation it would have been easy to bat away, online is a mission and I don't do it very often.

Take the point about maybe my response wasn't the best but tbh she ended up the convo by saying 'see you soon' without me even mentioning meeting up (I just said cya) so I am happy with how it went. Just interested in how to view that particular question of hers in broader terms - not because I am worried about it/her in particular...

Thanks for your points so far guys...
Author:  unguarded [ Sat Jan 21, 2012 7:41 am ]
Post subject: 
You said something like "i wrote you one so i thought i get one back"

and then she said the, 'You only give to receive' bs.

something along the lines of: "I just thought that you may have something intriguing to show me" (maybe with a :p face following)

This shows her that you dont fuck around and that she needs to bring something to the table- even if its just some stupid poem.

Don't be the only artsy-one, make HER artsy- then make fun of her poem (2 steps forward 1 step back).


All in all, what she said probably meant that she's on to you game. She knows you have SOME game but she provoking you to see what you really got.

be cunning with this girl and, she will either want you for it,
OR respect and fear you for it, which will make anyone around her want you.
Author:  Stylite [ Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Unguarded makes a great point!

So I guess we'll call it the "game-test" :lol:

It's true, like I said, if you come back with something witty and playful then it's another point for you. I have to admit my online/text game is perfect when it comes to that (mostly because I can take a minute and think of the right response without worrying about being instant.)

- Stylite
Author:  FF_Rewind [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Regarding the last two comments, they make real sense to me. I take on board the suggested response and see how it would have kept the tone playful but firm - at least from my side anyway and that's all I can do.

Game-test - A test to see if I can maintain the playful vibe and maintain the mood even when she doesn't (or is pretending she doesn't) want to play.

Even if she really doesn't want to play at least I have kept things on track for next time rather than giving in and being moody along with her.

Glad we got to the bottom of that :)

Cheers!
Author:  pumpington [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 11:38 am ]
Post subject: 
just stop trying to get anything from her, neediness is a turn off, everything should come from a frame of giving, including invites

it is:
there is the awesome place I want to take you to,
not,
will you come out with me?

it is,
Here is the great poem, are you a poetry writer? really?, I would love to read some of your poetry some time
not,
I wrote you a poem, write me one now


it is,
I want to make you feel good(before sex)
not,
will you fuck me tonight?

it is,
lets go on a date, I'll call you
not,
can I have your phone number?

bring value, instead of trying to take it, the more you do this and come from this frame, the less problems you will experience in reguards to these issues
Author:  FF_Rewind [ Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks pumpington, great post. :)

The problem wasn't in the answer it was in the question. I asked the wrong question.

Your suggestions take interaction to where I want it really doesn't it but without asking for things. Bring value, don't be needy. I understand.
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