PUA Forum :: getting the girl back calibration

i wanna get back with this girl i was briefly with. last time i saw her i was really harsh to her. she kinda deserved it at the moment, but the few girls i've met since her and the fact that i work ~15 hours a day made me realize that i had made a mistake.

she knows i'm into game, we hit the same clubs, so i know where and when i'm gonna bump into her. i'm gonna be chatting other girls like i normally do, but i find that this is not that interesting for me as it used to be (regardless of this girl).

in the past i had real trouble calibrating these situations, i either over game or I'm too upfront. so should i go casual and take it slow or be honest and tell her i wanna be with her. probably something in between, but i have hard time finding that balance.

Be honest, don't play games. You've got a history together, she knows you, she'll know you're intentionally trying to make her jealous and it'll turn her off even more. Honesty, direct, for sure. A lot of the kids on this board, however, will tell you different as they don't know any better.

Quote:

She does know me, she knows i'm a player, she knows reasons i chase girls has nothing to do with making anyone jealous. when i broke up with her, i did it from such a strong frame that i was actually amazed. at first she told me "you're doing this just to get back on me", my reply was "actually i'm grateful to you. you just didn't match my standards and i don't take shit form anyone." so it's like you're saying.

she hates me for being a player, but that's what attracts her as well. biggest problem is that that i don't have time, energy and motivation to game anymore and if she smells that, she's gone for good...

She has verbalized it.

And you have some great points there.

on your profile pic. also, i edited comment above, regarding relationships. any advice on this is appreciated.

Author:	Defy [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:	getting the girl back calibration
i wanna get back with this girl i was briefly with. last time i saw her i was really harsh to her. she kinda deserved it at the moment, but the few girls i've met since her and the fact that i work ~15 hours a day made me realize that i had made a mistake. she knows i'm into game, we hit the same clubs, so i know where and when i'm gonna bump into her. i'm gonna be chatting other girls like i normally do, but i find that this is not that interesting for me as it used to be (regardless of this girl). in the past i had real trouble calibrating these situations, i either over game or I'm too upfront. so should i go casual and take it slow or be honest and tell her i wanna be with her. probably something in between, but i have hard time finding that balance.

Author:	papichulo818 [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: getting the girl back calibration
Quote: i wanna get back with this girl i was briefly with. last time i saw her i was really harsh to her. she kinda deserved it at the moment, but the few girls i've met since her and the fact that i work ~15 hours a day made me realize that i had made a mistake. she knows i'm into game, we hit the same clubs, so i know where and when i'm gonna bump into her. i'm gonna be chatting other girls like i normally do, but i find that this is not that interesting for me as it used to be (regardless of this girl). in the past i had real trouble calibrating these situations, i either over game or I'm too upfront. so should i go casual and take it slow or be honest and tell her i wanna be with her. probably something in between, but i have hard time finding that balance. Be honest, don't play games. You've got a history together, she knows you, she'll know you're intentionally trying to make her jealous and it'll turn her off even more. Honesty, direct, for sure. A lot of the kids on this board, however, will tell you different as they don't know any better.

Author:	Defy [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: getting the girl back calibration
Quote: Be honest, don't play games. You've got a history together, she knows you, she'll know you're intentionally trying to make her jealous and it'll turn her off even more. Honesty, direct, for sure. A lot of the kids on this board, however, will tell you different as they don't know any better. She does know me, she knows i'm a player, she knows reasons i chase girls has nothing to do with making anyone jealous. when i broke up with her, i did it from such a strong frame that i was actually amazed. at first she told me "you're doing this just to get back on me", my reply was "actually i'm grateful to you. you just didn't match my standards and i don't take shit form anyone." so it's like you're saying. she hates me for being a player, but that's what attracts her as well. biggest problem is that that i don't have time, energy and motivation to game anymore and if she smells that, she's gone for good...

Author:	papichulo818 [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: getting the girl back calibration
Quote: Quote: Be honest, don't play games. You've got a history together, she knows you, she'll know you're intentionally trying to make her jealous and it'll turn her off even more. Honesty, direct, for sure. A lot of the kids on this board, however, will tell you different as they don't know any better. She does know me, she knows i'm a player, she knows reasons i chase girls has nothing to do with making anyone jealous. when i broke up with her, i did it from such a strong frame that i was actually amazed. at first she told me "you're doing this just to get back on me", my reply was "actually i'm grateful to you. you just didn't match my standards and i don't take shit form anyone." so it's like you're saying. she hates me for being a player, but that's what attracts her as well. biggest problem is that that i don't have time, energy and motivation to game anymore and if she smells that, she's gone for good... You're projecting. You have no idea that's why she likes you unless she's verbalized this to you directly. She likely was with you because she actually liked you, and you feeling it's because of your player-like behavior stinks of insecurity. At a point you've got to drop the game in a relationship, this should occur once you've solidified the relationship - continuing with game throughout will only create a divide between the two of you will serve as an obstruction to what should unfold organically on its own. Learn to be more secure in yourself and what you have to offer as a person, not a player. Come on now, give your head a shake. It's time to reFRAME your perspective on relationships and stop acting like a little boy.

Author:	Defy [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:13 pm ]
Post subject:
She has verbalized it. And you have some great points there. How can I do those reframings regarding relationships? I know everything about pickup, and next to nothing about relationships. I'm a great guy outside of club as well, but I'm so addicted to that validation I get there, it's hard to give up on. The pitfall of all (ex) losers...

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Author:	papichulo818 [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: She has verbalized it. And you have some great points there. If you want any chance of being with her, let that shit fall by the wayside (keep the mystery and intrigue, keeping her on her toes etc.. for passions-sake). If she's simply into you for your ability to game, than quite honestly she's likely immature and not even worth being with.

Author:	Defy [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:24 pm ]
Post subject:
btw, is this you?

Author:	papichulo818 [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: btw, is this you? ?

Author:	Defy [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:
on your profile pic. also, i edited comment above, regarding relationships. any advice on this is appreciated.

Author:	papichulo818 [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: on your profile pic. also, i edited comment above, regarding relationships. any advice on this is appreciated. Are you Dexter the serial killer?

Author:	Defy [ Thu Jan 19, 2012 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:
I'm not that famous seriall killer. thanks for the advice. i generally don't like your posts, but you made some goods points here. thanks. Best Regards, Defy

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