PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Is This Salvageable?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=125041		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Sewell [ Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:40 am ]
Post subject:  Is This Salvageable?
Hello guys. I literally only heard about the Seduction Community about one month ago. After reading The Game, and watching some videos and reading some articles, I'd say I've been leading my life as a AFC/BAFC - I was extremely incompetent with girls and literally had no idea what they were attracted to, and how I could be attractive to them. My only redeeming features were that I'm quite sociable, funny, and have quite a lot of female friends.

Anyway, this post is about a girl who I had extremely bad onitis for (and still do to some degree) about a year ago. I know her through some acquaintances at University. Before we started kissing, we had known each other vaguely for about half a year, and whenever we met, our personalities clearly clicked.

I'll try and describe her:
  • She as a very shy girl (which was difficult because I'm fairly shy myself).
    She doesn't really hang around with female friends.
    She is quite druggy
    She hates romance
    She has been hurt/pushed around by bad boyfriends in the past a lot
    She likes bad guys (took me a while to find this out), if I met her now, it would seem obvious.
    She gets very moody and grumpy
    I really don't understand her well at all though
Anyway, about a year ago I went to her birthday party. She was very moody, but I hung around with her a lot and seemed to appreciate my company. She brushed off any attempt of me coming on to her however.

The next time I saw her was at my party. Here we finally kissed. Although she randomly left without saying bye soon after.

I tried to text her here and there, but she only replied about 50% of the time. Despite being AFC, I did still know to not text her too much, so if she didn't reply, I wouldn't text back for a couple of weeks. However, she literally would never make effort to contact me, but when I saw her face to face she seemed genuinely pleased to see me.

The next time we met, we went to a club. She was talking to random guys - not sure if this was because she was being over friendly because of drugs or trying to make me come up to her and be protective over her. I wasn't very alpha at all then and just let her do it because I didn't really feel like I had a right to.

After a while I plucked up the courage to phone (which I find hard as it is) her and ask her out (which I've never done before). She kind of said yes, but I have a feeling she didn't want to for fear of 'going out for drinks' being too intense. Later I suggested cinema with me and friends, she seemed enthusiastic. However she stood me up (I later found out this is because she drank two bottles of wine because she was so nervous and passed out).

We did finally start meeting up for watching films at my house. This happened twice. Each time I did manage to kiss her, but it was extremely hard for me to do and we were both very nervous, so it was pretty awkward. I tried to escalate and she gave me some LMR which at the time I took as a hint for me to stop - in hindsight I definitely shouldn't have.

Anyway, after those 'dates' (seemed to go well in general though), she stopped replying to me at all. I later find out that she had started seeing another guy. As you can imagine I was pretty pissed and depressed. :evil:

I hear from mutual friends (could be said to just make me feel better) that it mainly just happened because he was a druggy and around her house constantly. Apparently they argue about every night (but I have a feeling she likes this).

She is still going out with him (it's about 3/4 of a year on now).

I was so confused about why it didn't work with me (there really is a "connection" between us), I simply asked her for feedback about why it didn't work. She said because I was "too nice", and I really was. After getting into the seduction community, I'm already becoming a lot better with girls in terms of being alpha, cocky, negging etc.

I'm wandering if you guys think there's any chance with getting her back, or have I completely blown it? If I can, how should I go about doing it? We see eachother about every three or for weeks at parties. I really would like to because I'm not really that into picking up random girls because the odds of me actually getting on with them are pretty low, and I'm not a massive one night stand guy.

If you're still here (:shock:), thanks for reading! :D :D
Author:  papichulo818 [ Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Never say never, but it's quite clear you disqualified yourself as boyfriend material with her by virtue of being the 'nice' guy. Girls may speak of wanting to meet a "nice guy" but in reality they tire of these men very quickly because they tend to lack the ability to create sexual tension in the relationship, also because they readily buy into the woman's FRAME as being the prize. It sounds as though despite some intial mutual attraction, you remained in the comfort zone too long, not escalating things (e.g. kino, sexual innuendo etc.) soon enough; if you don't do this at the right time, women can lose all attraction for you and dub you as a friend, the 'nice' guy she can rely on, and nothing more.

Put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. Imagine you snagged an HB10 and she provided no resistance to you, she simply went with the flow, did whatever you wanted and catered to your every whim; sure, most guys will readily admit this as being awesome, but after a time you'd lose attraction towards her. Why? Because by teasing, creating RESISTANCE with someone (which you'd lack with this girl), you implicitly drive up your value and the person (provided they have some attraction to you) will desire you much more.

I think your only chance with this girl would be to stop talking to her altogether and reinventing yourself and letting her see you're this new man with swagger. But don't make changing yourself to win her your objective as that's just being a false persona, become the best man you can be for yourself and future relationships.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Game other girls.

Oneitis is bad, perhaps you missed that, regardless its not a big deal that you didn't know. You will care far less about any one girl when 2 more are picking up the phone whenever you call.
Author:  Sewell [ Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:33 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Never say never, but it's quite clear you disqualified yourself as boyfriend material with her by virtue of being the 'nice' guy. Girls may speak of wanting to meet a "nice guy" but in reality they tire of these men very quickly because they tend to lack the ability to create sexual tension in the relationship, also because they readily buy into the woman's FRAME as being the prize. It sounds as though despite some intial mutual attraction, you remained in the comfort zone too long, not escalating things (e.g. kino, sexual innuendo etc.) soon enough; if you don't do this at the right time, women can lose all attraction for you and dub you as a friend, the 'nice' guy she can rely on, and nothing more.

Put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. Imagine you snagged an HB10 and she provided no resistance to you, she simply went with the flow, did whatever you wanted and catered to your every whim; sure, most guys will readily admit this as being awesome, but after a time you'd lose attraction towards her. Why? Because by teasing, creating RESISTANCE with someone (which you'd lack with this girl), you implicitly drive up your value and the person (provided they have some attraction to you) will desire you much more.
Like I said, I'm now aware of things like Cat String/Push-Pull etc. I now would be much better if I could get back into a similar position to what we once were in.
Quote:
I think your only chance with this girl would be to stop talking to her altogether and reinventing yourself and letting her see you're this new man with swagger. But don't make changing yourself to win her your objective as that's just being a false persona, become the best man you can be for yourself and future relationships.
I haven't really been talking to her at all (seen her three times in over half a year). Although those times I probably did make it too obvious that I liked here. I have been re-inventing myself to some degree - not really for her, but to make myself more attractive in general because in the past I've been pretty hopeless with girls.

I think what I find hard is the fact that she never seems to initiate anything, and she doesn't seem like she ever will. If I just hang around near her looking cool, I don't think much will happen. I really do need to start things up.
Quote:
Game other girls.

Oneitis is bad, perhaps you missed that, regardless its not a big deal that you didn't know. You will care far less about any one girl when 2 more are picking up the phone whenever you call.
I've heard this works for some people, and I've heard it doesn't for others. As for me, I've pretty much got over her now since we haven't really seen much of each other for a long time, and I've had some things with other girls in the mean time. However, this girl is the one where things really did click the best, and she is the one who I'd most want a relationship with out of all girls I've met.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/